Harry Potter: Whose Line Is It Anyway?

*Music starts*

Hermione: Welcome to Whose Line is It Anyway? And for today we have a new updated cast from Harry Potter, I'm Hermione Granger, your new host. We have the World's Most Greasy Potions Master, Professor Severus Snape! The Boy Who Lived To Play On This Game, Harry Potter! The Red Headed Weasley, Ron! And the Biggest git in this side of the world, Draco Malfoy! Let's get it on!

*Camera does close up on each person in each turn. They all sit down*

Hermione: In case, you've just tuned in; this is 'Whose line Is It Anyway?' The show we're they everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right! Just like Dolores Umbridge… she just… doesn't matter. Anyway, our first game is called Questions Only this is for all four of you. What's gonna happen is, I'll give you a scene and you can only ask questions. Once one has run out of them, the next person will take over. Now arrange yourselves, Harry behind Draco, Snape behind Ron. The scene is you just found out that you're gay. Ready, go.

Ron: Will you go out with me?

Draco: No.

Hermione: -buzz-

Ron: Will you go out with me?

Harry: Why not?

Ron: Really?

Harry: Did you just find out you're gay?

Ron: Why do you ask?

Harry: Do I look like I know?

Ron: Will you kiss me?

Harry: What do you think will I say?

Ron: You are gay, aren't you?

Harry: Am I?

Ron: Am I?

Harry: Are you?

Ron: I guess.

Hermione: -buzz-

Snape: Are you gay?

Harry: Go away.

Hermione: -buzz-

Snape: Are you gay?

Draco: No.

Hermione: -buzz-

Snape: Can we stop this game?

Harry: Thank every loving god.

Hermione: -buzz, buzz, buzz- A thousand points to Draco for rejecting Ron, negative a thousand for Ron for asking Draco in the first place, a thousand points to Harry for ending the game and two thousand for Snape for being the only one who's grossed everyone out. We'll be back after the break!

*after commercial*

Hermione: Welcome back to 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?'! Our next game is called Scenes From a Hat, this is, again, for all four of you. We asked the audience to write interesting stuff for our actors to act out and we took the nice ones and put it in hat. Thus, Scenes Form A Hat. *pulls out Uncle Sam Hat* Oh, and we trashed all the crappy ones. Okay, *pulls out a strip of paper* the scene is 'Weird Titles For Harry Potter Books'.

Harry: 'Harry Potter and the Magical Toilet Seat'

Hermione:-buzz-

Ron: 'Harry Potter and the Day Hermione Killed Ron'

Hermione: Fine. -Buzz-

Draco: 'Harry Potter and the Day He Found Out He Was Gay And He Wanted To Ravish Draco Malfoy'

Harry: Whoa-kay! Bad mental image, Malfoy!

Hermione: -buzz-

Snape: 'Harry Potter and the Very Hard Potions Exam'

Hermione: -buzz-

Harry: 'Harry Potter Grants World Peace, Fixes The Ozone Layer and Solves World Hunger'

Hermione: Good one. –Buzz, buzz- *get another strip* Harry Potter Quotable Quotes, can be from other characters.

Ron: There is no good and evil, there is only power…and those too weak to seek it.

Hermione: -buzz-

Draco: *puts on a mock-Ron enthusiastic voice* There you go, Harry! You weren't being thick after all -- you were just showing moral fiber!

Ron: How'd you know I said that?!

Draco: I read the books.

Ron: Oh.

Draco: Sometimes the world is just so logical.

Hermione: -buzzz-

Snape: This is in a note, you know who you are. *looks at Ron, Harry and Draco* Let's do it tonight.

Hermione: *cough, cough* Oh my! Who wrote that?!

Harry and Ron: *slowly raise their hands*

Hermione: And what is this all about? You never told me you were gay!

Harry: We aren't! Malfoy challenged us to a duel one night but it turned out ―

Hermione: Please don't tell me you're a threesome.

Draco: Eeeew! Granger! I'd never sink to his level! But Potter…

Harry: Oh god.

Ron: Hermione! That was a disturbing mental image!

Hermione: Sorry, folks! Back after the break! –buzzz- And you didn't even-

Harry: But-

Draco: Hmm…

Harry: Get your hands off me!!