Sara sits alone, in her apartment, looking at the walls. It took a fair amount of convincing her, but Catherine finally agreed to bring her home just before she went off to shift.

"Nick will be at work, I will be fine. I just need to work out what I am going to do", Sara had said. Reluctantly Catherine left her and headed to work both dreading and praying that she would be partnered with Nick tonight. At least if she worked with him she would be able to keep an eye on him.

Sara replayed everything that had happed over in here head. Trying to figure out exactly what has caused Nick to snap.

She had been seeing him for a couple of months now. It started off as one of those things. She had a bad case, he had a comfortable shoulder to cry on. For the first time in their 4 years together, they had ended up in bed together and it had been wonderful. The next month was blissfully happy as all budding relationships are, nothing but professional at work, nothing but animals at home. Life was good until the first time she saw his temper. It wasn't a big thing. He had just gotten off the phone to someone, a friend, or his brother maybe, she never did find out who. He had been arguing with them and his mood was dark and only managed to get darker all day. About an hour before shift she had made a teasing comment, nothing much, something along the lines of "Catherine could whip your butt." And that was it. He turned and she saw absolute fury in his eyes. She had never seen anything like this before.

"Get the fuck out," he had shouted. Sara had stood there dumbfounded. Unable to move. What had gotten into him. "I said get the fuck out of my house." He moved towards her and grabbed the back of her shirt and physically pushed her out of the house. Her purse and keys followed closely behind and the door was slammed unceremoniously in her face.

Tears had come and she had no option but to go into work. Thankfully Grissom had partnered her with Warrick that night and Nick was with Catherine and Grissom on the other side of town. She didn't see him all night and wandered home late after putting in several hours overtime.

When she arrived home he had been on her front balcony, waiting for her. He looked up and her heart melted. His eyes and nose were red from crying and he looked so lost.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear. "I swear I will never do that again. I don't know what came over me." Fresh tears streamed down his face. She forgave him. After all it was Nick. Her best friend. Her lover. Her love.

She knew he would never do that again.

* * * * * * *

But he did.

This morning he had come home and found her sleeping on his couch. She awoke to him gently shaking her awake. "Babe, get up and go to bed." She opened her eyes and looked up to see him. A small smiled played on his handsome face, but it was a sad one.

"Are you OK?" she asked. A slight nod and he walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Sara knew he was just avoiding her. Usually if Nick had a bad case he liked to be left alone. But she was his girlfriend and she was there for him whether he wanted her to be or not.

She had heard that he and Grissom had pulled a child pornography case. Nick never did like cased with kids involved. Especially young boys. She knew everyone had their demons and Nick's involved boys who couldn't defend themselves.

"I heard about your case. Sounds like a tough one." No response except closing the fridge and opening the bottle of beer he had retrieved. His back was still to her but she could see the tension there. She reached out and placed her hands on his shoulders and started rubbing them. "Talk to me! Your not superman you know. If you feel like crying, cry. I've seen you cry before you know."

And it was back. As quick as that. He turned and grabbed her by the shoulders, crushing them together causing pain to scream up and down her arm. "Just what the hell do you mean by that." He pushes her against that fridge and she feels her head slam into the hard white surface. She is terrified now. Who is this man in front of her. It isn't her loving boyfriend, that is for sure. She looks in his eyes and sees a fury she has only ever glimpsed once before.

"Tell me what you mean by that. You think I am weak don't you. You want me to cry so you can be the strong one don't you. So you can tell everyone what a baby I am. Well it is not going to happen bitch." He flings her to the floor and walks away. Only to come back with something in his hand. He stand over her and raises his gun.

She looks up at the barrel. "Oh god Nick, what are you doing. God please put the gun down. You don't want to do this. I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything. I won't tell anyone I swear." Tears are streaming down her face. Of all the ways to go she never in her wildest dreams pictured dying this way.

"I'm not weak Sara." He says, gun pointing at her head, weaving slightly from side to side.

"I know your not weak baby. You're the strongest person I know. Put the gun down. Please. You don't need to do this. You're strong.. oh god Nick… please" Sara sobbs uncontrollably. She hears a peel of thunder outside as one of the few Nevada storms starts to break overhead. He drops his head. He drops the gun to his side.

"What am I doing. Sara, what am I doing." He looks at her and sees the fear. I'm so sorry baby, oh god please… I'm sorry." He drops to his knees. Sobs wrack his body. "Help me, please."

Sara gets on her knees and comes towards him. She takes the gun from his hand. There is no resistance. She stands and walks out. Leaving him alone on his kitchen floor. Crying like the weak man he has become.