Catherine came into work. Not sure what to do or what to say, or even who to say it to.
Sara had told her what happened. It had taken a while but she finally got the full story out of her. She had been so angry it took all of Sara's convincing to stop her from walking out the door and giving Nick a piece of his own medicine.
"Catherine, Nick is sick. He needs help. I just don't know how to do that." Catherine looked at Sara. After all she went through she still wanted to help him. Her anger ebbed a bit. She cast her own mind back of the five years she had worked with Nick. Never had she seen this side of him. The only time she had ever seen him vulnerable was when they worked that case together that they suspected had been a molestation case. When Nick had told her about the babysitter.
The words 'you think I'm weak don't you' played themselves over in her mind. What Nick had been through certainly could have made him feel weak. Boys are always bought up to believe they are stronger than girls. She could only imagine how much more that was pumped into a Texan boy. He had all but admitted he had never spoken to anyone about it. He had even questioned her about seeing a shrink. Could he have been reaching out even back then?
Catherine saw Grissom come around the corner, a frown creasing his forehead. "Well at least someone had decided to turn up for work. We have both Sara and Nick off sick, Warrick is booked up on overtime and that leaves you and me to work the field. Nothing has come in so far and I am sure if we both pray hard enough, we may have a quiet night." He looks at her. "Something wrong. You're not sick too are you?"
She shakes her head 'no'. It worried her that Nick wasn't in either. What if he went to Sara's house. Should she call her?
"Is there something you want to talk about Catherine. You look worried about something. Is Lindsey alright?"
"Yes she is fine. But I do need your advice about something."
"Sure, come into my office."
They entered and sat down and Catherine wasn't really sure where to start. She didn't want to go into anything specific but need some information. "Can you get access to personnel files?"
He sat and looked at her. "Are we talking about anyone in particular here?"
"Yes!"
It was obvious she wasn't going to give up anymore information just yet.
"What do you want to know about?"
She sat and looked at him. 'OK, here goes nothing' she thinks. "Do they hold any psychiatric information? Like when someone has to see a shrink after an incident. Stuff like that?"
Again, he sat and looked at her. "The files hold a small amount of information such as when and if they were counseled after an incident. It doesn't go into specifics about what is said, obviously there is patient doctor confidentiality involved, but it details the number of sessions and length of same, and hold a report on the, ahhh, 'shrinks' recommendations. May I ask why?"
"I think you need to pull someone's file. Tonight."
"Who's?"
"Nick's." She waited for the inevitable question. Still trying to decide how much she should say.
To her surprise he says nothing but picks up the phone and says, "Yes this is Gill Grissom at CSI. I was wanting a personnel file pulled for one of my staff…… Yes….. Nicholas James Stokes. That is right. Can I have that delivered here to my office immediately. Thank you." To Catherine. "I should have it within a half an hour. Want to tell me what is going on?"
There is no turning back now she realizes. She takes a deep breath and begins the story. Just as Sara had told her earlier. Then she told him about Nick's childhood molestation and her personal concerns about how this may just be the start of years of self abuse.
By this time the file has arrived and Catherine and Grissom go through it carefully. There are three times he had been sent to see the staff psychiatrist, once after he had a gun held to his head by a female suspect. "That was the only time I have ever seen Nick cry" Grissom says. The second was when his friend Kristy Hopkins had been murdered and the finger was pointed at Nick. The last time was after Nigel Crane. Never had Nick seen the shrink more than 3 times. And each time they had written, "Feel there are more issues and would benefit from further visits." He never went back.
They sit and look at each other. Both lost in their own thoughts, but both based on the same person. Catherine was the first to break the silence. "While I cannot forgive him for what has happened, I can see the pattern emerging. All of these incidents have shown him as weak one way or the other. The gun was held by a woman… no nobel prize for working that one out."
Grissom continues, "Kristy Hopkins was a female in distress who he initially 'saves' and then she turns up dead not a couple of hours after he leaves her. And Nigel Crane. Any man would feel emasculated after an incident like that."
Again silence. Both lost in their own thoughts. "What should we do?" Cath asks.
"What can we do?" Grissom counters.
Sara had told her what happened. It had taken a while but she finally got the full story out of her. She had been so angry it took all of Sara's convincing to stop her from walking out the door and giving Nick a piece of his own medicine.
"Catherine, Nick is sick. He needs help. I just don't know how to do that." Catherine looked at Sara. After all she went through she still wanted to help him. Her anger ebbed a bit. She cast her own mind back of the five years she had worked with Nick. Never had she seen this side of him. The only time she had ever seen him vulnerable was when they worked that case together that they suspected had been a molestation case. When Nick had told her about the babysitter.
The words 'you think I'm weak don't you' played themselves over in her mind. What Nick had been through certainly could have made him feel weak. Boys are always bought up to believe they are stronger than girls. She could only imagine how much more that was pumped into a Texan boy. He had all but admitted he had never spoken to anyone about it. He had even questioned her about seeing a shrink. Could he have been reaching out even back then?
Catherine saw Grissom come around the corner, a frown creasing his forehead. "Well at least someone had decided to turn up for work. We have both Sara and Nick off sick, Warrick is booked up on overtime and that leaves you and me to work the field. Nothing has come in so far and I am sure if we both pray hard enough, we may have a quiet night." He looks at her. "Something wrong. You're not sick too are you?"
She shakes her head 'no'. It worried her that Nick wasn't in either. What if he went to Sara's house. Should she call her?
"Is there something you want to talk about Catherine. You look worried about something. Is Lindsey alright?"
"Yes she is fine. But I do need your advice about something."
"Sure, come into my office."
They entered and sat down and Catherine wasn't really sure where to start. She didn't want to go into anything specific but need some information. "Can you get access to personnel files?"
He sat and looked at her. "Are we talking about anyone in particular here?"
"Yes!"
It was obvious she wasn't going to give up anymore information just yet.
"What do you want to know about?"
She sat and looked at him. 'OK, here goes nothing' she thinks. "Do they hold any psychiatric information? Like when someone has to see a shrink after an incident. Stuff like that?"
Again, he sat and looked at her. "The files hold a small amount of information such as when and if they were counseled after an incident. It doesn't go into specifics about what is said, obviously there is patient doctor confidentiality involved, but it details the number of sessions and length of same, and hold a report on the, ahhh, 'shrinks' recommendations. May I ask why?"
"I think you need to pull someone's file. Tonight."
"Who's?"
"Nick's." She waited for the inevitable question. Still trying to decide how much she should say.
To her surprise he says nothing but picks up the phone and says, "Yes this is Gill Grissom at CSI. I was wanting a personnel file pulled for one of my staff…… Yes….. Nicholas James Stokes. That is right. Can I have that delivered here to my office immediately. Thank you." To Catherine. "I should have it within a half an hour. Want to tell me what is going on?"
There is no turning back now she realizes. She takes a deep breath and begins the story. Just as Sara had told her earlier. Then she told him about Nick's childhood molestation and her personal concerns about how this may just be the start of years of self abuse.
By this time the file has arrived and Catherine and Grissom go through it carefully. There are three times he had been sent to see the staff psychiatrist, once after he had a gun held to his head by a female suspect. "That was the only time I have ever seen Nick cry" Grissom says. The second was when his friend Kristy Hopkins had been murdered and the finger was pointed at Nick. The last time was after Nigel Crane. Never had Nick seen the shrink more than 3 times. And each time they had written, "Feel there are more issues and would benefit from further visits." He never went back.
They sit and look at each other. Both lost in their own thoughts, but both based on the same person. Catherine was the first to break the silence. "While I cannot forgive him for what has happened, I can see the pattern emerging. All of these incidents have shown him as weak one way or the other. The gun was held by a woman… no nobel prize for working that one out."
Grissom continues, "Kristy Hopkins was a female in distress who he initially 'saves' and then she turns up dead not a couple of hours after he leaves her. And Nigel Crane. Any man would feel emasculated after an incident like that."
Again silence. Both lost in their own thoughts. "What should we do?" Cath asks.
"What can we do?" Grissom counters.
