Never Too Late
Summery: This story ads one more reason to why Mac had a connection to Commander Aiken from Capitol Crime. Then the story took a life of its own...
Spoilers: Anything's fair game, but mainly just a little from Capitol Crimes (season 7) including some borrowed lines
Disclaimer: All mine = Big lie
Author's Notes: The idea of the first chapter came to me as I was watching Capitol Crime and the rest is of unknown origin ;) It's pretty dark at times and I suspect that some people aren't going to like the way I've let the characters act. I just want to state for the record that I really like both Mac and Harm. How they act in this story is not how I would like them to act, but it was how the story came to me and I didn't feel that it was way out either... you'll be the judges of that. I love feedback. This story hasn't been beta-reed, since I didn't want to bother the great people who are helping me with my other story with even more work from me. The story is all written out and ready, but except for the two parts I'm posting today I'll leave it up to you to decide how often I should post. If you want to know if it has a happy ending... well look at the title and see what you make of it... I think that was everything for now on with the story. Oh, one more thing the story jumps a little in time so be sure to watch the timestamps.
Part 1
January 2002
Sturgis had come into Mac's office to apologize and try to start on a new page with her, but somehow he had once again gotten himself into a discussion about the tension between her and Harm. The last weeks it had somehow changed, Sturgis didn't know why, but lately the two of them had acted strangely around each other. They were going out of the way not to say anything the least hurtful or upsetting to the other, but had in that also lost the spirit of friendship between them. Sturgis had almost doubted that he should call Harm at all and ask how to handle her. In the end he still had thinking that Harm probably was the only one who had the slightest idea of how to handle her.
"There seems to be a lot of tension between you two," Sturgis said to her 'Especially now' he thought, but didn't say that out aloud afraid that that would put her even more into defensive mode.
"Some," Mac agreed.
"A lot," Sturgis suggested instead.
"Look you're missing the point, Sturgis," she said wanting to steer the conversation away from the dangerous topic. She was going to fail completely.
"Come on, Mac," he goaded her on.
"I slept with him," Mac said. 'When will I learn to think before I talk?' she thought as soon as the words were out of her mouth, but in one way it was a relief to have someone she could talk about it with even if Sturgis definitely was the wrong person to do so with. She and Harm had hardly even broached the subject. However his best friend might not be the best person to vent to. She wasn't going to say anything more about it now. No way.
"Is that the problem?" Sturgis asked very shocked by her confession.
"There is no problem," Mac said harshly, but Sturgis wasn't very convinced by it.
"Then why don't you just get over it and move on?" Sturgis suggested. He wondered a little about when in time this had happened, but he pushed those thoughts away since he was quite sure he didn't want to know more about it.
"It wouldn't work," Mac had gotten up to close the door. She sure hoped that no one else had heard her admit that they had slept together. That would make the whole thing even worse.
"Why?"
"Because I'm in love with him," Mac said still facing the door "Did I say that?" and to herself she continued beating herself 'What am I saying? Where did I leave my brain?' Mac went over and sat down in one of the visitors started trying to do some damage control. "You have to keep that to yourself."
"OK, but maybe you should talk..."
"I mean it, Sturgis."
"So do I," Sturgis said. He really didn't want to get involved in this thing between the two of them. He was however for their sake hoping that they would find a way for them to come to terms with this.
--
The next day Sturgis and Mac were working together in the conference room. In the previous interview they had found out that they had been on the wrong path and were now trying to figure out where to go from there. Mac had seemed absent-minded the whole day and Sturgis had observed how much effort it took for her to be able to focus on what they were doing. At the moment she was beating herself up for having her instincts or visions not leading them right. Sturgis didn't want her to be so hard on herself. He was slowly getting more interested in what had triggered this connection between the two women.
"Pain, happiness, regret, pride in serving your country," he suggested as things they could have in common and then continued "Look at the facts. You're both single women in the military with everything that carries with it. You're both strong, vulnerable, too. You've each had your share of problems with men... Sorry."
"No, you're right Sturgis. In more ways than you think."
"Why is that?"
"I'm pregnant," she mumbled almost inaudible, but Sturgis who was sitting right beside her caught every word.
"Harm?" Sturgis asked, but knowing what she had said yesterday he didn't doubt that Harm was the father.
Mac nodded and buried her face in her hands. She wanted this. Harm's child. How many times had she dreamed about being pregnant with Harm's child? Uncountable times. Those dreams had however also involved a marriage or at least a relationship. A night that they had both chosen to ignore as much as they could wasn't it. Mac wasn't sure if he had ever really loved her, maybe from his part it had just been lust and physical attraction. She knew that he respected her and now believed that the reason he had backed away from this situation so many times before was that he only felt physical attraction for her and nothing else, but respected her too much to give in to that attraction.
She knew that he hadn't been sure of what she wanted on that ferry in Sydney, she didn't even know herself exactly what she had suggested. All she knew was that she had thought that if they ever took a step over that line between just being friends and being something else, then they would also be able to tell each other how they felt. She had been ready, but seeing the regret in Harm's eyes the morning after had made her swallow her words and keep quiet. What she had thought was unspoken love she now took as plain lust and desire. The regret had become mirrored in her eyes, if he didn't have those same feelings for her this night had been in vain. It had only hurt their friendship. She had escaped his apartment as soon as she possibly could and in the following four weeks they hadn't uttered one word about it to each other hoping that they would somehow be able to restore their fragile friendship.
"Does he know?" Sturgis asked and woke Mac up from her thoughts.
"No, I just found out yesterday," Mac shook her head in her hands and then she turned her head so she could see him. She looked so scared like she needed someone to come and help her.
"You know you should be telling him this. That and what you let slip yesterday. He'll support you..."
"I know, I know. I will tell him once he gets home from the Patrick Henry, I'd never keep his child away from him. Sturgis, I'm sorry to bother you with this. I know you don't want to get involved."
"I want to help my friends," Sturgis said. Slowly he was realizing that in this office your colleagues were also your friends. You were expected to get involved in their problems and that was something that had taken him some time to get used to.
"You have helped," Mac said, but regardless of that help she was no closer to knowing what would happen next than she had been before.
TBC
Summery: This story ads one more reason to why Mac had a connection to Commander Aiken from Capitol Crime. Then the story took a life of its own...
Spoilers: Anything's fair game, but mainly just a little from Capitol Crimes (season 7) including some borrowed lines
Disclaimer: All mine = Big lie
Author's Notes: The idea of the first chapter came to me as I was watching Capitol Crime and the rest is of unknown origin ;) It's pretty dark at times and I suspect that some people aren't going to like the way I've let the characters act. I just want to state for the record that I really like both Mac and Harm. How they act in this story is not how I would like them to act, but it was how the story came to me and I didn't feel that it was way out either... you'll be the judges of that. I love feedback. This story hasn't been beta-reed, since I didn't want to bother the great people who are helping me with my other story with even more work from me. The story is all written out and ready, but except for the two parts I'm posting today I'll leave it up to you to decide how often I should post. If you want to know if it has a happy ending... well look at the title and see what you make of it... I think that was everything for now on with the story. Oh, one more thing the story jumps a little in time so be sure to watch the timestamps.
Part 1
January 2002
Sturgis had come into Mac's office to apologize and try to start on a new page with her, but somehow he had once again gotten himself into a discussion about the tension between her and Harm. The last weeks it had somehow changed, Sturgis didn't know why, but lately the two of them had acted strangely around each other. They were going out of the way not to say anything the least hurtful or upsetting to the other, but had in that also lost the spirit of friendship between them. Sturgis had almost doubted that he should call Harm at all and ask how to handle her. In the end he still had thinking that Harm probably was the only one who had the slightest idea of how to handle her.
"There seems to be a lot of tension between you two," Sturgis said to her 'Especially now' he thought, but didn't say that out aloud afraid that that would put her even more into defensive mode.
"Some," Mac agreed.
"A lot," Sturgis suggested instead.
"Look you're missing the point, Sturgis," she said wanting to steer the conversation away from the dangerous topic. She was going to fail completely.
"Come on, Mac," he goaded her on.
"I slept with him," Mac said. 'When will I learn to think before I talk?' she thought as soon as the words were out of her mouth, but in one way it was a relief to have someone she could talk about it with even if Sturgis definitely was the wrong person to do so with. She and Harm had hardly even broached the subject. However his best friend might not be the best person to vent to. She wasn't going to say anything more about it now. No way.
"Is that the problem?" Sturgis asked very shocked by her confession.
"There is no problem," Mac said harshly, but Sturgis wasn't very convinced by it.
"Then why don't you just get over it and move on?" Sturgis suggested. He wondered a little about when in time this had happened, but he pushed those thoughts away since he was quite sure he didn't want to know more about it.
"It wouldn't work," Mac had gotten up to close the door. She sure hoped that no one else had heard her admit that they had slept together. That would make the whole thing even worse.
"Why?"
"Because I'm in love with him," Mac said still facing the door "Did I say that?" and to herself she continued beating herself 'What am I saying? Where did I leave my brain?' Mac went over and sat down in one of the visitors started trying to do some damage control. "You have to keep that to yourself."
"OK, but maybe you should talk..."
"I mean it, Sturgis."
"So do I," Sturgis said. He really didn't want to get involved in this thing between the two of them. He was however for their sake hoping that they would find a way for them to come to terms with this.
--
The next day Sturgis and Mac were working together in the conference room. In the previous interview they had found out that they had been on the wrong path and were now trying to figure out where to go from there. Mac had seemed absent-minded the whole day and Sturgis had observed how much effort it took for her to be able to focus on what they were doing. At the moment she was beating herself up for having her instincts or visions not leading them right. Sturgis didn't want her to be so hard on herself. He was slowly getting more interested in what had triggered this connection between the two women.
"Pain, happiness, regret, pride in serving your country," he suggested as things they could have in common and then continued "Look at the facts. You're both single women in the military with everything that carries with it. You're both strong, vulnerable, too. You've each had your share of problems with men... Sorry."
"No, you're right Sturgis. In more ways than you think."
"Why is that?"
"I'm pregnant," she mumbled almost inaudible, but Sturgis who was sitting right beside her caught every word.
"Harm?" Sturgis asked, but knowing what she had said yesterday he didn't doubt that Harm was the father.
Mac nodded and buried her face in her hands. She wanted this. Harm's child. How many times had she dreamed about being pregnant with Harm's child? Uncountable times. Those dreams had however also involved a marriage or at least a relationship. A night that they had both chosen to ignore as much as they could wasn't it. Mac wasn't sure if he had ever really loved her, maybe from his part it had just been lust and physical attraction. She knew that he respected her and now believed that the reason he had backed away from this situation so many times before was that he only felt physical attraction for her and nothing else, but respected her too much to give in to that attraction.
She knew that he hadn't been sure of what she wanted on that ferry in Sydney, she didn't even know herself exactly what she had suggested. All she knew was that she had thought that if they ever took a step over that line between just being friends and being something else, then they would also be able to tell each other how they felt. She had been ready, but seeing the regret in Harm's eyes the morning after had made her swallow her words and keep quiet. What she had thought was unspoken love she now took as plain lust and desire. The regret had become mirrored in her eyes, if he didn't have those same feelings for her this night had been in vain. It had only hurt their friendship. She had escaped his apartment as soon as she possibly could and in the following four weeks they hadn't uttered one word about it to each other hoping that they would somehow be able to restore their fragile friendship.
"Does he know?" Sturgis asked and woke Mac up from her thoughts.
"No, I just found out yesterday," Mac shook her head in her hands and then she turned her head so she could see him. She looked so scared like she needed someone to come and help her.
"You know you should be telling him this. That and what you let slip yesterday. He'll support you..."
"I know, I know. I will tell him once he gets home from the Patrick Henry, I'd never keep his child away from him. Sturgis, I'm sorry to bother you with this. I know you don't want to get involved."
"I want to help my friends," Sturgis said. Slowly he was realizing that in this office your colleagues were also your friends. You were expected to get involved in their problems and that was something that had taken him some time to get used to.
"You have helped," Mac said, but regardless of that help she was no closer to knowing what would happen next than she had been before.
TBC
