The Matrix: Recliched
by Nain and Calli
---------------------**
CALLI AND NAIN ARE STANDING BEFORE A BLACK SCREEN
Calli: Welcome to the Outtakes of 'The Matrix: Recliched!' We are now going to show you a series of scenes that NEVER made it to the final cut.
Nain: First of all, we were going to have Neo and Tinky Winky sing a heartrending rendition of "My Heart Will Go On." However, it didn't make it into the script. We're not sure why.
CUT TO CHATEAU
Neo: Tinky Winky, I have never felt this way.
Tinky: I have. I had a really steamy affair with that guy from "Friends."
NEO CHOOSES TO IGNORE TINKY'S PREVIOUS COMMENT
Neo: It is because of you that I no longer doubt my sexuality.
Tinky: I still think you're stupid for becoming gay, especially when Persy is trying to jump on your back.
NEO CONTINUES TO IGNORE TINKY'S COMMENTS
Neo: Let's sing a song to symbolize our deep bond of love.
Tinky: Dude, that's so beautiful!
NEO GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE AND PULLS A MICROPHONE OUT OF SOMEWHERE, BUT WE DO NOT WISH TO SPECIFY
Neo: "Everynight in my fleems, I froo froo, I feel ... trinity..."
TINKY LOOKS ANGRY
Neo: I mean, "YOU!"
NEO COUGHS
Tinky: "Far across the the distance and spaces between us, you have come to show that you go onnnnnnnnn..."
Neo: "Feel, Lars, I eat chicken tar! I flee, my art will mow lawn..."
Tinky: "Once more you open the pink flowered door, and you're here in my plastic heart!"
Together: "And my art will MOOOOOOOW LAAAAAWN..."
NEO WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND TINKY
Neo: "Gloves can slap us one time, but make me, go bye bye!"
Tinky: "And never let go until we're one purple person..."
Neo: "Glove was when I gloved moo, one choo rhyme, I smoo smoo!"
Tinky: "In my TV life, we'll always corrupt children!"
Neo: "Fear, Lars, Your sister is in the backseat of my car... And I know that my art will mow lawn."
Tinky: "Once more, you open the pink flowered door, and you're here in my gay heart!"
Together: "OUR ART WILL MOW LAWNNNNNNNNNNN!"
Neo: "Floor, gear, I eat cheese and fleas, and I know, that my art will mow lawn."
Tinky: "We'll, stay, forever so gay! You are safe in my plastic heart, and..."
Together: "OUR ART WILL MOW LAWN AND LAWN! MMMMMMMMMMMM! LAAAAAAAAA!!!!! OOOOH!!!!!!!!! DDDDDUUUUUUUUMMMM! DADADA!"
NEO AND TINKY GAZE AT EACH OTHER WITH TEARS IN THEIR EYES
Neo: I love you, Tinky.
Tinky: ... I think I'm still in love with David Schwimmer, but what the hell.
TRINITY ENTERS, LOOKING ANGRY.
Neo: TRINITY!
Trinity: Neo, how could you?! I thought you loved me. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
TRINITY WALKS OUT AND SLAMS THE DOOR BEHIND HER
Neo: OMG, TRINNY, I LOVE YOU! COME BACK!
NEO RUNS THROUGH THE DOORWAY, SCREAMING LIKE A HEADLESS CHICKEN.
Tinky: Dammit.
by Nain and Calli
---------------------**
CALLI AND NAIN ARE STANDING BEFORE A BLACK SCREEN
Calli: Welcome to the Outtakes of 'The Matrix: Recliched!' We are now going to show you a series of scenes that NEVER made it to the final cut.
Nain: First of all, we were going to have Neo and Tinky Winky sing a heartrending rendition of "My Heart Will Go On." However, it didn't make it into the script. We're not sure why.
CUT TO CHATEAU
Neo: Tinky Winky, I have never felt this way.
Tinky: I have. I had a really steamy affair with that guy from "Friends."
NEO CHOOSES TO IGNORE TINKY'S PREVIOUS COMMENT
Neo: It is because of you that I no longer doubt my sexuality.
Tinky: I still think you're stupid for becoming gay, especially when Persy is trying to jump on your back.
NEO CONTINUES TO IGNORE TINKY'S COMMENTS
Neo: Let's sing a song to symbolize our deep bond of love.
Tinky: Dude, that's so beautiful!
NEO GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE AND PULLS A MICROPHONE OUT OF SOMEWHERE, BUT WE DO NOT WISH TO SPECIFY
Neo: "Everynight in my fleems, I froo froo, I feel ... trinity..."
TINKY LOOKS ANGRY
Neo: I mean, "YOU!"
NEO COUGHS
Tinky: "Far across the the distance and spaces between us, you have come to show that you go onnnnnnnnn..."
Neo: "Feel, Lars, I eat chicken tar! I flee, my art will mow lawn..."
Tinky: "Once more you open the pink flowered door, and you're here in my plastic heart!"
Together: "And my art will MOOOOOOOW LAAAAAWN..."
NEO WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND TINKY
Neo: "Gloves can slap us one time, but make me, go bye bye!"
Tinky: "And never let go until we're one purple person..."
Neo: "Glove was when I gloved moo, one choo rhyme, I smoo smoo!"
Tinky: "In my TV life, we'll always corrupt children!"
Neo: "Fear, Lars, Your sister is in the backseat of my car... And I know that my art will mow lawn."
Tinky: "Once more, you open the pink flowered door, and you're here in my gay heart!"
Together: "OUR ART WILL MOW LAWNNNNNNNNNNN!"
Neo: "Floor, gear, I eat cheese and fleas, and I know, that my art will mow lawn."
Tinky: "We'll, stay, forever so gay! You are safe in my plastic heart, and..."
Together: "OUR ART WILL MOW LAWN AND LAWN! MMMMMMMMMMMM! LAAAAAAAAA!!!!! OOOOH!!!!!!!!! DDDDDUUUUUUUUMMMM! DADADA!"
NEO AND TINKY GAZE AT EACH OTHER WITH TEARS IN THEIR EYES
Neo: I love you, Tinky.
Tinky: ... I think I'm still in love with David Schwimmer, but what the hell.
TRINITY ENTERS, LOOKING ANGRY.
Neo: TRINITY!
Trinity: Neo, how could you?! I thought you loved me. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
TRINITY WALKS OUT AND SLAMS THE DOOR BEHIND HER
Neo: OMG, TRINNY, I LOVE YOU! COME BACK!
NEO RUNS THROUGH THE DOORWAY, SCREAMING LIKE A HEADLESS CHICKEN.
Tinky: Dammit.
