Author's note:  Ready for chapter 2?  Thanks to everyone who reviewed, see the thanks list at the bottom!  Once again, don't have a spaz if people are a little ooc, this story is meant to be strange and if you don't find it funny then WHY ARE YOU READING CHAPTER 2????

Disclaimer:  I'm not JK, sadly (she's richer then the Queen…until tax time MWAHAHAHA!!) and don't own anything but the plot.  Ditto to J.R.R. Tolkien and that Mat guy who thought up the Simpsons!  DON'T SUE ME, I'm only 14!

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Ginny: Ok so lets get this straight…..we're trapped in your disturbing hippie, erm…

Voldemort:  SAUCE PAD!

Ginny: Fine, sauce pad whatever, for eternity and you're never letting us out!

Neville: But hang on Ginny, I really like it here!  Ok, when I first saw the life sized cardboard cut-outs of Britney Spears, Madonna, Professor Trelawney and the entire cast of Annie..

(A/N: ahem!)

…I was a little freaked out but I must say Voldemort's cool so it's ok!

Hermione: Erm Neville, lets get this straight, are my ears deceiving me or did you just say that the man who converted your parents into living vegetables with the shared iq of a demented chicken on a sugar high is cool?

Malfoy: Hey stop being so…um….categorising mudbood!

Ginny: Wow, that's a long word for someone who hasn't had a single English lesson in five years!

Malfoy:  Excuse me but are you calling me thick?

Ginny: What's 3 times 3?

Malfoy: 6. 8? Oh god I know this…10!

Harry: Its nine you moron.

Voldemort:  And you haven't seen the best bit yet….

(A/N: ready for this?)

… When I clap my hands…

(clap)

….a giant…..

(A/N: wait for it..)

……multicoloured……

(A/N: Dum dee dum dum dum..)

………sticky………

(A/N: God I've used a lot of full stops in this fic!)

………surprise……..

(A/N: Tee hee, I'm so annoying!)

…..apple tree springs out the ground!

(A/N: Haha sorry for the letdown but I bet you weren't expecting that!)

Harry: And that's the best thing?!?  God, I don't know why I'm even scared of you!  Hey, why is the apple tree covered in bubblegum?

Dean: So what's so special about this tree?

Voldemort: Well it can do lots of things, you can hug it if you want, go ahead, I would…. but I don't want to get my tye-dye cloak ruined…(annoyingly lengthy pause)….you can sing to it……

(Legolas appears)

Hermione: Wow check HIM out!  Sorry Harry but I've found my husband!

(Legolas starts skipping round like a pansy, singing a load of made up words and waving his bow round… A LOT!)

Legolas: Felshame dooersed… hey girls look at my HUGE bow!

Ginny: Back away slowly, don't make eye contact and it's all going to be fine….

Voldemort: But the best thing is it transports you to a surprise place!

Hermione:  Well anywhere's got to be better then this, shall we go?

Dean:…um well….

Malfoy:….erm….

Neville:…. My breath smells like cat food…

(A/N: sorry Simpson's fans but dig the resemblance!)

Harry: Ooooh, yeah yeah yeah!!!! There'll probably be a troll or a dragon or an insane anteater to slay and I'll become hero of the school….again!  Please, please, please! (Does an almost prize winning impression of a four year old with a dried pea stuck up it's nose)

Hermione: I'll come with you Harry, come on, let's go!

Ginny: Do you really think I'm that stupid?  This isn't a smut fic you know!  I'll come too!

Harry:  (With a look of ecstatic delight) Fine then, how does this thing work???

Voldemort: Potter, go grab a leaf, hop on one leg while singing a spice girl song…

(He does so, and looks VERY stupid)

Harry: (after 5 minutes) Hey, nothings happening! 

Malfoy:  Duh, I can't believe you fell for that!

Harry: What do you mean?  What am I doing wrong?

Voldemort: (after almost peeing himself laughing (A/N: Does Voldemort pee???)) All you have to do is touch some of the gum and sneeze!

Entire female population of Hogwarts: EEEEEW

(Harry does so VERY reluctantly and disappears. Hermione copies.)

Ginny: Hey!  Ron, what ARE you doing with the inflatable banana seat???????  Yuck, I'm telling mum!

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Thanks for reading, chapter 3 will be up soon!  REVIEW!!!!!!

Thanks to:

*Before I re-uploaded the fic*

Mary- My first review!!!

Jess

*Since re-upload*

Laterose – sorry about being a moody cow – How I wish I was you in aussie with the surfers instead of in england where on August 1st it is chucking it down with rain and is about 15 degrees!

Anya Wood- I am taking the fact you've got Crikey boy (see below) and Laterose as your favourite authors list but not me very personally! 

Callas-and-ivy

Kerbi

Sparrklez

Lord Bocktree- Crikey!

Eclipsed- sugar is good!

MacbethHamlet

HopelessRomantic Jenn

DavidCamp

StarWars-Freak

Le Pamplemousse

Shadow Katt

Padfoot the mst king- do you really think I'm that stupid????

Olean-Radcliffe- (^_^)

I love you all!