The Matrix: Recliched

by Nain and Calli

-----------------------------**

Calli: I'm sure you all loved our last outtake. But this one is even better. It's entitled 'A SENSELESS ORGY!'

Nain: I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE!

Calli: I wanted to join it, but I wasn't allowed to.

CALLI BURSTS INTO TEARS

STAGE DARKENS AND SCREEN APPEARS. NEO IS STANDING IN THE SHOWER ON THE NEB. HE APPEARS TO BE ALONE. GRADUALLY THE CAMERA PANS OUT TO SHOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE.

Neo: WASHIN' MY BUTT, WASHIN' MY BUTT, DOO DEE DOOO...

Morpheus: WASHIN' NEO'S BUTT, WASHIN' NEO'S BUTT, DOO DEE DOOO...

Trinity: WASHIN' MORPHYPOO'S BUTT, WASHIN' MORPHYPOO'S BUTT, DOO DEE DOOO...

Link: WASHIN' TRINITY'S BUTT, WASHIN' TRINITY'S BUTT, DOO DEE DOOO...

Neo: DO NOT TOUCH MY BITCH!

NAKED SCUFFLE, AKA ORGY, ENSUES

Agent Smith: Hello, Big Boys. And, uh, Neuter Female.

AGENT SMITH DIVES IN GLEEFULLY

Trinity: HOW IN FRESH HELL DID YOU GET HERE?!?

Agent Smith: I stuck my hand in some guy's chest, then I turned into him. But... -pauses- I realised that I was so much prettier in my natural form, so I put a lot of makeup on to disguise my ugliness. Now, RAVISH ME!

Neo: With pleasure.

CAPTAIN LOCK AND HIS GROUPIES ENTER

Lock: Yo, Morpheybaby!

LOCK STRIPS, MORPHEUS DROOLS

Morpheus: Rawrrrrr..

Ham-Man: Who wants to see me sing 'I'm A Slave 4 U?'

EVERYONE RUNS AWAY

SCENE CUTS TO THE RAVEY PLACE

Neo: Dude, can I see your nipples?

Agent Smith: Of course, my little anomaly.

Trinity: Neo, don't you want to play the sock puppet game?

Neo: I want nipples.

Trinity: But I have nipples!

Neo: -rolls eyes- Puh-lese. Agent Smith's boobs are bigger than yours.

TRINITY STARTS TO CRY

Morpheus: Awwww, baby.

MORPHEUS, STILL NAKED, GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE

Morpheus: My darling, I... can't get enough of your love, baaaaby.

Lock: That is so sweet. -giggles girlishly-

HAM-MAN STANDS ON THE ROCK OF JOY AND GYRATES VIOLENTLY

Ham-Man: I'M AHHHH, SLAAAAYYYYVVEEEEE FOR YOUUUUU

EVERYONE IS SUBSEQUENTLY VIOLENTLY SICK

Ham-Man: That means you love me! I'll start singing some Avril! 'HE WAZ A SKAYTA BOI! SHE SED C U LAYTA BOI!'

Neo: Ow! My freakin' ears!

EVERYONE HAS A JOYOUS VODKA-INDUCED ORGY