2.
.::.I'm trying, I'm trying so hard.::. Her tortured voice made its way into his head, and despite the agony of the emotions that came with it Will treasured it beyond measures; holding on to it like holding on to a life-line. .::.It hurts…it hurts so much.::. She crumbled against him and he linked his arms under hers to keep her upright; her legs no longer able to carry the weight that rested upon them.
Slowly he lowered her to the floor and sank behind her. His back rested against the semi-wooden fence around the balcony and hers rested against his chest. Will pressed kisses on the top of her head, hoping that she could draw a measure of comfort of the affectionate gesture, that it would, if only for a moment, chase away the pain and loneliness that threatened to consume her.
Deanna tried to cry, but her emotions were so overwhelming that she could only sob on choking breaths. From what he could sense of her, and that was painfully little, she was unable to find an anchor amidst her inner turmoil and he pulled her closer, providing a physical anchor instead. .::.I love you Dea, please believe that. Whatever you need, whatever you want, I'll do everything in my power to give it to you.::. It was a shallow promise, certainly in times like this, but it was all he had to offer and it was the least she deserved.
.::.I just want them back! That's all…oh god, please, give them back.::. Her screaming plea was like salt in his own raw wounds and it slipped between the bondages she had so carefully wrapped around his torn heart, making him remember all over. The fire, the heath and the terrible pain.
"Shhh" he whispered aloud "we'll get through this, we have to. You're strong Dea, you can do it. For them." And God he hoped he spoke the truth.
.::.I feel so lonely. Like my heart and mind are empty, like they always will be.::. She clung tighter to him, her entire body trembling. Will wrapped one hand in her black curls, hanging limply down her back, and wrapped the other around her waist, noticing once again that she had lost weight. How come he hadn't seen sooner how much she was suffering? It had been two weeks; two weeks in which she had comforted him, consoled him and helped him deal with his anger, guilt and grief…two weeks during which he had admired her for her strength. And then she had collapsed.
Reviewing the logs he had discovered that she'd run this program every night since it happened and while he slept and dreamt she had crept out of their bed and had come to the holodeck, dealing with her grief all by herself. .::.I'm here Imzadi, I will always be here.::. He felt her fear. Fear that some time something would tear them apart and that he would be taken away from her as well. He shared that fear, but like her he would not voice it. Fearing that if he did, it would become true.
She moved, slowly pulling away from him and reluctantly he let her go. .::.I think I need to be alone.::. His mouth opened, his mind already screaming his objection, but she continued, .::.Please Imz—Will…I just, need time.::. He couldn't leave her, not now, not when she was in such pain, not ever. "Please" her whisper, almost unreal and so filled with anguish and tears, took the decision from him. He'd never been able to deny her anything, especially not when she looked as vulnerable as she did now.
Slowly he rose to his feet, his body aching when he lost contact with her. His hand reached out to her, but he withdrew it before he touched her. "I love you Deanna, please Imzadi, remember that." His blue eyes filled with tears as he looked at her one last time and then left the holodeck, leaving his heart behind.
Tbc...
I know, very evil me. I'm truly sorry; been a little caught up in school and some other stuff and kinda forgot about this *gulp*. But I'll do better from now on, promise :D Got some nice stories in store for you guys after I finish posting this one :)
D.
