Reviews! Reviews! You guys...seriously, it brought tears to my eyes, and some of your guys' reviews were so moving. (I can be soooo emotional sometimes) ^_^. Thanks so much! And Inuyasha Moon, don't worry, I love long reviews. I was asked by one of you about pairings and I'm really, really sorry, but I cannot reveal the pairings as some of them would make you go, "Wait...um...Jade? I think you wrote them down wrong." Kenkaya, yahhhhh! Dude, you make good predictions. Seriously. No, Naraku is going to be Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic. I think the characters will have enough problems without his help. As to where Sango is...you'll see.

Strange Note: I just got Word again and I was adding words to the dictionary and one of the suggestion replacements for Hojou was 'hobo' much to my snickering amusement. One of Inuyasha's was 'Natasha.' Ehehehehehe.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Or like anything else mentioned here. I do own my storyline though.

Warnings: Same as before. Some characters are bad. Don't follow their examples.

Fade Away


Part Two

            Kikyo was reading as she sat on the couch, not sitting straight up, just lounging around. All her homework was done; she had cleaned her already clean room twice. It was only eleven a.m.

            She prided herself on being able to amuse herself. Of course, she hadn't really had to do so for quite some time. There was usually somebody else around to drag her away from studying or books. Somebody to insist they go shopping or go to a movie or do something. This person usually took the form of Kagura.

            But Kagura wasn't there.

            She woke up to see a hastily scribbled note on the table in the living room.

            Dear Kikyo,

            Went to hang out with Kouga for awhile. Be back soon.

                        Kagura

            She hadn't even woken Kikyo up to say it. Just written a note. Kikyo had crumpled it angrily into a ball and thrown it away. Yes, gone to hang out with Kouga for awhile, which probably meant all day and then most of the night since it was Saturday. And after Kikyo had to prepare for this day for quite some time.

            Kikyo caught her reflection in one of the mirrors. A pale girl with haunted brown eyes and long black hair. Today she was wearing a white shirt and a pair of blue jeans. Her white shirt had short sleeves.

            And while most people wouldn't have understood it, Kagura would have. Kagura would smile and tell her that she looked great. Kagura would ignore the scars on Kikyo's arms.

            She had tried to cover them up most of her life because she knew that they were ugly, and they represented something she never wanted to remember. But she did. She had nightmares about it still. The nightmares were far rarer then they were in the beginning. Kikyo's slim fingers carefully moved over the lines.

            It had been a Saturday, just like this one. Kikyo had been seven years old at the time and her mother and father were in the kitchen, laughing and talking. Some strange smell drifted towards her nostrils but she was small, she didn't know what that smell was. It smelled like the fireplace. So maybe it was just that. Kikyo wandered back up to her room.

            She liked to spend time in her room and when her parents would call her down for dinner, she would hide. It was their little game. Kikyo would hide and her parents would come and try to find her. This time she'd be really clever.

            Kikyo hid under her bed today. Watch the parents try to find her this time.

            And then that smell grew stronger, and stronger, it made her dizzy. And then she heard her parents calling.

            They're just calling trying to make me show them were I'm hiding. Ha, I won't fall for that.

            So she stayed there as she heard her parents calling, screaming, yelling and she just sat there priding herself in her own seven year old brilliance. Then she heard a huge crashing noise which frightened her. A feeling of cold dread crept up her spine as she scrambled out and went out into the hall.

            Fire.

            It was everywhere, eating away at the house, at her life. She ran downstairs and was now yelling for her parents. She didn't know what to do. Her parents would know and she ran into the living room. Before that moment, she had always stared at the huge bookshelf in awe. It held so many books; surely no one could read them all.

            This time, she drew back in horror. It had fallen over as it burned. And trapped under it were her struggling her parents. They couldn't move and they yelled out as they saw her.

            Tears sprang up in her eyes, partly from the smoke but also because she wasn't sure what to do so she tried to move the bookshelf. But it was too big. It was so much bigger then her.

            Struggling and trying to ignore the white hot pain as flames licked her arms Kikyo couldn't budge it and watched as her parents screamed in pain, trying to figure out how to help them.

            Firemen came eventually, pulled Kikyo away. They packed Kikyo away in an ambulance and the last thing she saw was her house through the ambulance doors. The roof collapsed into it.

            She would never see it again.

            She would never see her parents again either.

            Kikyo touched her reflection for a moment.

            You idiot, you just sat there...they wouldn't have died if you had just come when they called.

            No, you sat there twiddling your thumbs while they died.

            "Don't say it like that." Kagura told her once. "That's stupid, you were just a little kid, and how could you know?"

            Kagura wasn't there now. Kikyo stared at the ugly scars on her arms and pushed away from the mirror before going into her room so she could change. It was stupid to show the world what she had done. In fact the whole thing was stupid. Kikyo looked at a picture that was staring at her. They all had one, the whole orphanage group. Kikyo and Kagura and the others in the only picture the orphanage managed to get them all in.

            Kagura was smiling with his arms around Kikyo. And Kouga, Kouga was the one shunted.

            How had it changed on her?

            She could see Kouga and Kagura laughing together, talking, and even...she didn't want to think about that.

            "Omigod, is he actually waiting?"

            "I'm going back."

            "He was crying!"

            "Kagura doesn't have a heart!"

            You decided that that day, didn't you Kouga? And now you're going to pay her back for all of it. No matter what I say, she doesn't hear me. It's like some horrible spell that you've put on her.

            One prank. One stupid prank when we were kids.

            It was cruel. I understand that you can't forgive her.

            But you're doing what she did to you. So really in the end...you've turned into the person you hate the most.

            *                                              *                                              *

            Kagura did stay out all day. And all night. At midnight, sitting on the hood of Kouga's truck, watching the stars with him as they sipped at cokes and were wearing jackets to protect themselves from the warm, Kagura leaned back on the windshield and checked her watch.

            "Oh boy." Kagura giggled. "I'm sure Kikyo will be thrilled when I get back."

            "I'm sure she found something to do." Kouga scooted just a little closer to Kagura on the hood. Kagura pretended not to notice. Today weird moments like that kept happening. At lunch, they had gotten food at a Panda Express and were fighting so exuberantly with a pair of chopsticks that Kouga had to catch her from falling out of her seat.

            They had both frozen and then tried to pretend there was nothing weird about the moment. Kagura couldn't say what it was when his arms were wrapped around her body that had made her stop and her thought processes to stop completely. Maybe...well, she had remembered feeling like that before with someone else.

            But it had to be coincidence. She didn't have a lot of close friends, so it was only right that Kikyo felt the same way around Kouga as she did around Kikyo, she spent so much time with him. That was it; she was just treating him like how she'd treat all her closest friends.

            Yeah, riiight.

            "Yeah, probably." Kagura shrugged. Kikyo didn't need her for entertainment. But then there was that little nagging thought.

            Kikyo has never been very social and you keep running off without her.

            It's not my fault. Besides, she and Kouga don't get along.

            "What are you thinking about?" Kouga asked as he noticed the pensive look on her face. Kagura sighed a little.

            "Just thinking about Kikyo. I wish you two got along better..." Kagura looked almost sad, her eyes looking down at her hands under her long lashes.

            "Kikyo seems to be the one with the problem." Kouga defended himself. "She slapped me in the hall."

            "And she keeps claiming that you're lying to me...but I don't think so." Kagura looked up into his blue eyes. "You're nice and we have fun together, I don't think that you would just pretend all this for...for I don't know."

            Kouga nodded his head as though he understood. Their faces were inches apart. His arm twitched.

            She believes you.

            Not Kikyo.

            Kiss her.

            If you kiss her, she'll be even more confused. She's so stupid to think that you'd actually like her.

            "How could I ever be in love with a loser like you?"

            The words came up unbidden and Kouga's stomach clenched. Just remembering those words, those few words, he remembered exactly why he was here; making Kagura believe him, love him. See how she liked it. See how she liked it when it was turned around on her.

            Oddly enough, he wouldn't be surprised if she had forgotten all about it. It was just another prank that ended well for her. She could hang the victory up with the others and then forget to come back and dust them off. She would.

            He leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers. Kagura was surprised, he could tell from the way she seemed to freeze up next to him. His lips touching hers and in that moment, he could feel all her emotions. She didn't know what to do, and so she let him. After a moment, he pulled away.

            "Sorry, about that." Kouga tried to seem casual. "Just felt kind of nostalgic. You didn't mind, right?"

            "N-no." Kagura also tried to be casual. "No, yeah, sometimes I feel like just kissing people."

            "Yeah, I used to kiss some of my female friends at my old school and some people would make a big deal about it." Kouga went on.

            "Oh." Kagura's voice sounded rather neutral but her eyes seemed to have flames flickering behind her.

            Excellent. She's jealous.

            Kagura tried to shake her head a little. Just to shake off the weird feelings welling up inside of her. It was nothing. It was just a kiss. Something made her feel guilty about it and an image of Kikyo rose unbidden to mind.

            Maybe you shouldn't say anything to Kikyo.

            She doesn't like Kouga and she won't understand that it was just a kiss.

            Just a stupid kiss.

            Okay, a good stupid kiss but still.

            Yeah, it would probably better if you just didn't say anything about it.

            She had nothing to feel guilty about, she hadn't done anything yet.

            It's funny; most people don't realize their crimes until somebody points them out to them and no one there was going to point out anything to Kagura.

            *                                              *                                              *

            There was no toothpaste left.

            None.

            Kagome found herself clamping both hands over her mouth before the yelling even began. She and Inuyasha had been tiptoeing around each other as much as possible. To fight less, the two parties had both come to the same solution:

            Avoid the other as much as possible.

            If they knew the other was in the room, they wouldn't go in there. Inuyasha had taken this into account and spend as much time not at home as possible and when he was home, he could usually be found in his room. Or in the kitchen, trying to stealthily grab some food and get back to his room. Kagome would kidnap the phone and spend hours talking to Kouga and occasionally Hojou whom she'd known since grade school.

            But with things like the toothpaste being completely empty, catching Inuyasha drinking straight from the carton, and his incredibly loud music (Inuyasha was a male and all males have 'Listen To How Badass My Speakers Are' Syndrome.) Kagome thought she was the most self controlled person in the world.

            They were both looking for good healthy ways to vent their frustration so their parents wouldn't know. Kagome had taken to writing huge letters of complaints, mostly written in capital letters and many a swear word, and then tearing them into pieces. Inuyasha seemed to be getting into more fights at school, so more detentions for him, and another excuse not to be at the house.

            There must be toothpaste left in the downstairs bathroom, Kagome told herself before stepping outside the upstairs bathroom.

            Only to come face to face with Inuyasha.

            Not only was it him but he was wearing two towels. Now, normally, Kagome wouldn't say anything about this, naturally he had one wrapped around his waist. The other was wrapped around his head and Kagome knew that Inuyasha hated to have other people see him with the towel wrapped around his head 'because it was fucking girly' but it wasn't his towel.

            It was Kagome's towel. In fact, she had just washed it and put it in the downstairs bathroom, expecting to take a lovely warm shower in the morning without running into Inuyasha in the upstairs bathroom. Apparently he had thought of something very similar.

            It was something about seeing Inuyasha wearing her towel, his teeth gleaming from what was probably supposed to be her toothpaste, and wearing a slight smirk that she knew meant he was just waiting for her to challenge him. He probably used the downstairs bathroom, left it a mess, probably left the freaking seat up!

            "Goddammit Inuyasha, that's my towel!" Kagome stomped her foot not being able to bottle her rage at all. She reached over and tried to snatch the towel off his head. He stepped back in a rush and tripped fallen, flat on his rear end.

            "Crazy ass bitch." Inuyasha rubbed his bottom as he tried to get up and make sure his towel stay just where it was supposed to. "Doesn't have your fucking name on it."

            "Yeah, well you wouldn't be able to read it anyways." Kagome made another snatch for the towel but Inuyasha moved out of the way.

            "It's a fucking towel." Inuyasha pointed out as though Kagome hadn't noticed this fact beforehand.

            "No, really?" Kagome rolled her eyes.

            "Are you two fighting up there?" Yasumu called up the stairs and Kagome and Inuyasha both froze, remembering their resolution.

            "No!" They chorused before listening to him walk away and then turning back towards each other, ready to resume the petty arguing.

            But for once, Kagome didn't feel like fighting it out with Inuyasha about it. Inuyasha didn't look quite so up to it either. They stood there, looking rather uncomfortable. If they weren't fighting what were they supposed to be doing?

            "Uh, yeah." Inuyasha decided that this ended it all.

            "Exactly." Kagome agreed.

            "Don't freak out about towels." Inuyasha tried to hold onto the dying vestiges of the argument.

            "Don't use mine." Kagome folded her arms. They sort of looked at each other for a few more moments and then proceeded to walk away, eyeing the other suspiciously as though they would spring into an attack at any moment.

            Inuyasha turned to watch Kagome walk into her room.

            "That was fucking weird."

            *                                              *                                              *

            Kikyo decided that Kouga made lame jokes.

            In fact, he was the least funny of the group, so why exactly he felt the need to crack a joke every five seconds and make Kagura giggle was beyond her. And why Kagura was giggling at every joke he made no sense to her either. Inuyasha was just rolling his eyes and occasionally telling Kouga he was lame.

            Then Miroku joined the group.

            "Hello ladies." Miroku put an arm around Kikyo who stomped on one of his feet, venting all the annoyance in her being towards him. He quickly backed away.

            "Hey Miroku, how was..." Kouga trailed off, looking up. They turned to see Kagome walking up to them waving.

            "Hey Kouga!" Kagome greeted him.

            "Oh, hey, Kagome." Kouga had a really odd look on his face. "Isn't it almost time for class?" He walked off with Kagome, waving at them. Kikyo looked at Kagura's face to see Kagura frowning at him. Well, that was a nice change from Kagura's Kouga-Can-Do-No-Wrong demeanor.

            "What the fuck was that about?" Inuyasha asked the three others that were still there.

            "Quite possibly, he thinks your rather stunning adopted sister is hot." Miroku determined as though creating a hypothesis for a particularly complex experiment.

            "Yeah right." Kagura seemed disbelieving.

            "Yeah, he's not you." Inuyasha agreed with Kagura. "Fucking binge screwing master of the universe."

            "Excuse me, binge screwing?" Kikyo arched one dark eyebrow.

            "Miroku has sex with a whole lot of people." Kagura explained.

            "Binge screwing?" Kikyo seemed unconvinced that this was an actual term.

            "Yeah, see, Kouga explained it to me." Kagura giggled at Kikyo's apprehension. Kikyo scowled as soon as Kouga's name was mentioned. "There's three ways to drown your sorrows, binge eating, binge drinking, and binge screwing."

            "Drown your sorrows? What the fuck?" Inuyasha turned towards Miroku. "I thought you were just trying to get the most fucking STD's of anyone in the whole fucking school."

            "Come on Kagura, we have class." Kikyo pulled slightly on the red-eyed girl's sleeve.

            They left the two boys talking, Kagura wanted to stay for the argument and Kikyo vaguely curious about what Miroku might have to drown his sorrows for. That was really none of her business, nor did she want to make it her business.

            Meanwhile, Miroku started to tell the story to Inuyasha.

            "You see, physical relationships don't really involve love." Miroku's face was surprisingly calm, almost bitterly so. "I fell in love once."

            "Um...'kay." Inuyasha looked rather perplexed. Since when was he Mr. Tell-Me-All-Your-Fucking-Problems? If Miroku wanted a hug, Inuyasha vowed he'd beat the crap out of him. Or run away.

            "She broke my heart." Miroku declared. He laughed a little, a strange laugh that didn't sound like it went with Miroku's good-nature. "That's a funny saying, isn't it? But it's true. It'll never work again."

            "Dude, that's not a fucking literal phrase." Inuyasha did not want to listen to some angsty-ass sob story; he didn't care if it was the explanation to the creation of the universe. Fuck that. "Stop being such a baby." With that, he turned the corner and walked off. Miroku stood there, staring off at him.

            You know...in his own way...

            I think he just said something quite intelligent.

            "Miroku...I'm sorry..."

            Funny, you apologized for what you destroyed.

            But have I forgiven you? I don't think so.

            Not when it still hurts as bad as it does.

---------------

            "Oh shit!"

            Sesshomaru spun around. Rin was dancing around the kitchen with her finger in her mouth. She had obviously just burned her finger on her hot pocket. He immediately stirred her towards the sink. The fact that she burned herself concerned him, but something else concerned him more.

            Rin swore.

            Now, granted, Sesshomaru had cussed a few times in his life, especially to people he greatly disliked, but usually he was very eloquent. Rin, who had always been polite, was never much of a cusser. But now that she hung out with Inuyasha so much, it had begun to slip out.

            He's a bad influence.

            He could just imagine what Rin would have been like growing up with just Inuyasha, she would have sworn constantly and act like him.

            "I'm fine." Rin told him and pulled her hand away from his and the cool water. "It was just a hot pocket burn." Sesshomaru decided hot pockets were dangerous. "So guess what Inuyasha did?"

            "What did Inuyasha do?" Sesshomaru didn't bother to hide the extreme exasperation in his voice. Everything was about Inuyasha now a day.

            "He said he'd talk to the stage manager!" Rin clapped her hands together. "The stage manager practically begged me to work on crew. They already had a full one and I really wanted to work on the play." Sesshomaru saw visions of a rather terrified stage manager begging Rin in fear of Inuyasha killing him. It was all too probable.

            And that was his job. He was the one who was going to have a little talk with this stage manager who wouldn't let Rin on the crew because she was a freshman. But Inuyasha had beaten him to it.

            Rin was his sister.

            "That's nice." Sesshomaru wasn't sure what to say. He was trying to tread very carefully around the subject about what he thought about Inuyasha. He didn't want Rin to get upset with him. Lately, he had done everything he could to show Rin that he was the perfect brother to her. This included the buying of gifts because when he gave Rin something new, she would usually squeal with delight and then hug him.

            Sesshomaru knew that Rin's affections could not be bought, she was much too intelligent for that thing but he felt like he had to. Plus, he loved to spoil her rotten.

            "Um, Kishi-chan?" Sesshomaru blinked and almost stepped back in surprise as Rin was examining his face closely.

            "Yes?" He raised his eyebrows at her.

            "Is something wrong?" Rin inquired. Sesshomaru hesitated a little.

            "Rin, if you need help with something, I'd prefer it if you'd come to me." Sesshomaru finally answered in a cool tone. "I am your brother."

            "So is Inuyasha." Rin's mouth tightened slightly. Then she took a deep breath. "Sesshomaru…I don't want-"

            "I know." He tried to hide his face, which he knew probably looked sad. He turned away from her. "I know."

            "Sesshomaru, I didn't mean…" Rin put a hand on his shoulder. "Just because Inuyasha's my brother, doesn't mean you can't be too! You'll always be my onii-chan as well."

            "Rin." Sesshomaru grabbed her hand and suddenly pulled her against him. Then he folded his arms around her very gently, as though afraid she might break. "Rin…" And his mouth almost formed the words. Words that would tell Rin what he meant when he said that he loved her.

            She was staring up at him with those bright eyes, her mouth slightly parted, almost as if she knew what was coming.

            But he couldn't say it to her.

            He didn't deserve to be able to say it to her. Lately he had been making her unhappy…if Rin wasn't happy, Sesshomaru never could be. He would just have to try harder to make her happy. He took his arms away from her.

            "Kishi-chan…" Rin looked worriedly at him. And then suddenly hugged him around the middle. "I hate it when you look so sad…it makes my heart want to break into a hundred tiny pieces…please…And if you need to hug me, that's okay, I want you to go ahead and hug me. No matter what."

            Sesshomaru wrapped his arms tightly around her, never wanting to let her go. Who was this girl who had wandered into his life and shown him the good things that were still left in the world? It was Rin.

            His Rin.

------------------

            "Do you want to go to the art museum?" Kikyo asked as they left school that day. Kagura was swinging her handbag and humming to herself a little.

            "Now?" Kagura giggled. "I'm tired and it's Fridaaaaaaaay." She sang as if Kikyo had not realized this important, important fact.

            "I know that's its Friday." Kikyo rolled her eyes. "I'm talking about tomorrow. I didn't get very much homework this weekend, and neither did you, so it seemed natural that we go out and do something fun."

            "Okay!" Kagura agreed, hitting her fist on her palm. "Um…actually…"

            "What?" Kikyo turned towards her.

            "I told Kouga I'd go help him buy some new clothes tomorrow." Kagura put up her hands in a shrugging manner, as if she couldn't have helped but forgotten it. "He said that I have really good taste and he'd like to dress as well as I do."

            "Silly me." Kikyo's voice sent shivers down Kagura's spine. "How could I have forgotten your plans with Kouga?"

            "Hey, Kikyo, what's wrong?" Kagura asked as if she really didn't know.

            "What's wrong?" Kikyo lifted her emotionless eyes towards Kagura. "Nothing. Go have fun tomorrow. And when you come back, I'll be there waiting for you, just like you want me to."

            "Kikyo!" Kagura tried to stop her but Kikyo quickly got into her little black and white mini-cooper and drove off, leaving Kagura standing there.

            I have been forgetting Kikyo a lot…

            We haven't done anything together in awhile…

            Maybe…maybe she'd like to go along with me tomorrow? And then afterwards, we can all go to the museum. That could be fun.

            Wouldn't that be nice?

            All three of us, having fun.

            But Kikyo and Kouga don't get along.

            If only Kikyo would give him a chance, I know she'd like him.

            Kagura trudged her way to her car and then slowly turned the key in the ignition before pulling out.

            But it would be perfect.

            "I can't be depressed like this." Kagura said out loud determinedly. She pressed the button for the radio. All the way home she sang along with it at the top of her voice. Quickly she went inside.

            Now, how to get Kikyo in a good mood…

            Make her tea!

            Kagura went about her way fixing the tea tray all up and putting some oatmeal cookies on it that had been made a couple of days ago. She carefully balanced her way up the stairs and then into the main room between her room and Kikyo's room. Kikyo was not in here.

            She's in her bedroom.

            Great.

            She opened the door and saw Kikyo there, wearing a long-sleeved sweater and sitting on her window seat with one leg stretched out and the other leg was bent. Her arms were crossed and she was staring out the window. Kagura smiled, she loved moments like these, where Kikyo seemed unaware of the world. But why did she always have to be so distant?

            But when Kikyo let you in, you were under her protection, she watched out for you, even if she seemed to do it all silently. She would do small things just for you, to show how much she cared.

            Lately…I've been taking Kikyo for granted…can I really blame her?

            "Kikyo?" Kagura stepped forward, closing the door behind her with her foot. Kikyo looked up at her with a solemn expression. "I…I made you tea." Kagura held out the tray like a peace offering.

            "Thank you." Kikyo glanced back towards the window. Kagura sat on the window seat, leaning against the wall, so they were facing each other. She put the tray down in between the two of them.

            "Kikyo…I'm sorry." Kagura caught Kikyo's hand as the pale girl reached for the teapot. "I've been horrible, haven't I?"

            "There's nothing you can do that I can't forgive." Kikyo looked directly into her eyes.

            "I know, you say that, but sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it." Kagura semi-smiled at her. "Besides, you shouldn't have to put up with half my crap."

            "It's okay, I'm used to it." Kikyo gave her a small teasing smile.

            "So…maybe…I know you two don't get along…but maybe, we can go clothing shopping with Kouga and then we can all go to the art museum." Kagura's red eyes pleaded with Kikyo.

            "I don't know." Kikyo once more glanced out the window. "Last spring, I sat by this window and watched a nest of birds. Two birds fell out of the nest. One died. The other one kept pecking and nudging at it for a couple of hours until the mother bird rescued it."

            "That sounds really depressing." Kagura commented.

            "It was." Kikyo looked so far away. "I think that eventually we have to face the fact that others move on."

            "What are you talking about?" Kagura questioned.

            "You and Kouga have fun, right? I'd be the boring tag along." Kikyo took a sip of her tea.

            "Don't you dare say that!" Kagura looked angry. "You tell me not to make myself sound worthless and all that but you can be such a hypocrite!"

            "Isn't it true?" Kikyo raised an eyebrow a little.

            "No." Kagura said so firmly that it surprised Kikyo. "No, you wouldn't be. I love you Kikyo, you could never be the boring tag along."

            "Aren't you worried that Kouga and I will fight?" Kikyo asked, looking a whole lot happier then she did a few moments ago.

            "Then we can ditch him." Kagura raised her teacup towards Kikyo. "Do you want to?"

            "I think I could give it a try." Kikyo clinked her teacup up against Kagura's, careful not to spill any of the hot liquid.

-----------------

            "So, see you tomorrow?" Kagome kissed Kouga on the cheek before starting to get out of his car.

            "Yeah, definitely." Kouga winked at her. Kagome went whistling happily to herself as she walked into the house. Kouga had seemed a little weird today, though she couldn't really put her finger on it. Maybe she was just imagining things.

            She put a hand on the doorknob, hesitating for a moment. She could hear loud music which meant Inuyasha was home. The parents weren't home. What if they fought? Although she tried not to think about it, Kagome never forgot that horrible angry look in his eyes.

            We haven't fought since the Towel incident.

            I mean, we'll just avoid each other, like usual.

            Kagome confidently turned the doorknob and opened it, only to come face to face with Rin, the younger girl who had a wonderfully cheerful nature. It was hard to think that someone like that was Inuyasha's sister.

            "Hiiiiii!" Rin sang the greeting.

            "Oh, hey Rin." Kagome smiled at her. "What are you doing here?"

            "Visiting Inuyasha." Rin explained as there was a loud burst of music, announcing that Inuyasha had opened his bedroom door. "He's burning me some of his favorite cds."

            "That's cool. Do you want anything to drink?" Kagome offered on reflex.

            "Nah, I'm fine." Rin waved a hand airily. "Do you ever braid your hair Kagome? I think it would look super pretty!"

            "Oh great, fucking slumber party is going on down here." Inuyasha was leaning over the banister on the stairs and looking sourly at Kagome.

            "Sometimes." Kagome tried to ignore Inuyasha. She had to maintain composure, even though Rin had seen the two of them in an open brawl over a telephone. She really wanted to show Rin that she wasn't always like that. Inuyasha simply brought out the worst in her.

            "Is it okay if I hang out with Kagome for a little while?" Rin asked Inuyasha brightly.

            "I guess." Inuyasha shrugged. "I'll finish burning these cds, okay?"

            "Okay!" Rin tugged on Kagome's arm. "Can I see your room?"

            "Not much to see." Kagome said modestly and led her upstairs into her room. Rin seemed to love it, or maybe it was just her regular enthusiasm for everything.

            "Cool, you like the same anime that I do!" Rin looked excited. "My favorite is Cardcaptor Sakura."

            "Yeah?" Kagome glanced at her Cardcaptor Sakura poster which featured Syaoran and Sakura. "I really like it too but my favorite is Escaflowne."

            "I didn't like the ending." Rin scrunched up her nose. "Heh, I guess I was hoping for a happy ending. Kishi-chan says I always want everyone to be happy. He watches Cardcaptor Sakura with me."

            "He…does?" Kagome had the sudden mental image of Sesshomaru singing along to 'Catch You, Catch Me'. It made her shiver slightly.

            "Yeah, he does everything with me." Rin told her as if that cleared up the whole matter. Kagome was still rather stuck on the thought of the white-haired man watching one of the more girly anime in existence. "Kagome?"

            "Yes?" Kagome sat down on her bed.

            "So, can I braid your hair?" Rin clapped her hands together pleadingly.

            "If you want." Kagome grabbed her hair brush and a ponytail holder. Rin seemed excited about this. After a few moments, Rin cleared her throat.

            "So…do you and Inuyasha get along okay?" Rin asked, obviously knowing the answer.

            "Um, not really." Kagome wasn't sure she wanted to discuss this.

            "That's really sad." Rin stopped brushing for a moment before going on. "He's really nice. He really is. I mean, he can seem mean, but really deep down, he's always looking out for the people he cares about."

            This girl may be the only one who can talk about Inuyasha like that.

            Rin's known him longer then I have, I suppose. She remembers him from way back before the orphanage.

            Was he different?

            "Inuyasha and I have never really gotten along." Kagome looked down at her hands. "It's not something new."

            "It's too bad." Rin sounded wistful. "I can tell that you're both good people and good people should get along."

            "I'm not sure that's always the case." Kagome wished she could turn to see Rin. "Do you and Sesshomaru always get along?"

            "Well, not always." Rin admitted. "We did have some fights about Inuyasha. But we've made up. Sesshomaru has always been there for me when I really needed him."

            "It's amazing to think that a guy like that can be so caring for one person." Kagome speculated. "Not that he seems bad but…you know, he seems a little anti-social."

            "But maybe if you and Inuyasha were a little nicer to each other…" Rin trailed off and Kagome could almost see her biting her lip. "Maybe you could see things from each other's perspectives."

            "It's a little complicated." Kagome wished she could explain it. Rin finished braiding her hair. Kagome turned to thank her but Rin was reaching for the picture frame on Kagome's bedside table. Kagome didn't stop her, even though she knew what was coming.

            Rin stared at it for a few moments. "Who is this boy?"

            "My brother. He died years ago. His name was Souta." Kagome looked at the picture sadly.

            "Oh." Rin seemed to understand. "Did your parents…adopt Inuyasha after he died?"

            "Yes." Kagome took the picture from her gently and placed it on the bedside table.

            "That would be hard." Rin seemed to be sympathizing. "I remember, when I met my new parents, I wanted to hate them. I thought they were trying to replace my parents who died and I wanted to hate Sesshomaru too. But then I realized that they couldn't replace them, but they could help heal that hurt for me. Sesshomaru isn't a replacement for Inuyasha; he's just my other big brother."

            "It's just different." Kagome wasn't sure if she was arguing with Rin or not. "I mean, Inuyasha and I have been fighting for a long time."

            "It's never too late." Rin gave her a bright look.

            "Can I braid your hair?" Kagome asked. "You know, return the favor?"

            "Okay!" Rin happily settled down and Kagome braided her hair into two pigtails. They talked about other things, the small time talk that girls got themselves into easily. Kagome felt herself thinking about what Rin had said.

            Inuyasha's not a replacement…

            But how can he help with my pain?

            When they finished, Inuyasha came into the room.

            "Are you two done?" Inuyasha asked, looking at their hair as if they might attack him and put his hair in pigtails.

            "Yep!" Rin practically glomped Inuyasha. "Do you like my pigtails? Kagome's really good with hair!"

            "I guess." Inuyasha shrugged. "They aren't hideous."

            "Real nice." Kagome rolled her eyes.

            "Fuck, I wasn't insulting them or anything." Inuyasha got all defensive. Rin got a worried and pensive look on her face.

            "I didn't say you were." Kagome looked away. That's when the doorbell rang. Luckily, Inuyasha's music was off so they could hear it.

            "I'll go get it." Inuyasha volunteered and went downstairs. They heard some sounds of two people talking but they couldn't make out a word they were saying. Rin got up and Kagome followed her. They arrived in time to see Inuyasha and Sesshomaru in a glaring contest.

            "Kishi-chan!" Rin ran down the stairs and hugged him while Inuyasha snickered as quietly as possible. "Do you like my pigtails? Kagome did them!"

            "They're wonderful." Sesshomaru told her, affectionately tugging on one. Then he cleared his throat and tried to look much more dignified.

            "Here's the cds." Inuyasha gave the cds to Rin, who immediately hugged him in thanks. "Smash is like the best one, but Splinter is also really good."

            "Cool!" Rin began thumbing through them. "Can we listen to them on our way home? Please, please?"

            "Fine." Sesshomaru sighed. "Are we leaving?"

            "Good-bye Inuyasha! Good-bye Kagome." Rin smiled brightly before turning and following Sesshomaru out the door.

            There were a few moments of silence as it dawned on Inuyasha and Kagome that they were the only two people around. Kagome said the first thing that came to mind.

            "Your sister is really nice." Kagome told him.

            "Yeah, I don't think she knows how to be mean." Inuyasha replied. It was a bit hard to think that they were having an almost normal conversation, besides the fact that they were looking at each other warily. "Uh, thanks."

            "Thanks?" Kagome was utterly confused by this.

            "For, ya' know…hanging out with her. And stuff. Doing all that girly crap." Inuyasha wasn't even looking at Kagome, but seemed to be fascinated with something in the opposite direction. "I know she likes that kind of stuff…and, yeah, I don't really…"

            "You aren't really into styling hair?" Kagome supplied.

            "Yeah." Inuyasha agreed. "I mean, I bet fucking Kishi-chan let's her put up his hair all pretty and shit but you won't catch me dead doing that."

            "Well, you do have really long hair." Kagome pointed out. "Do you ever pull it back? You know, ponytails are pretty unisex, and so are single braids, like this." She indicated her own braid.

            "I'd be bad at it." Inuyasha shook his head.

            "If you want…I could…show you." Kagome offered him. Inuyasha looked at her like a deer caught in the headlights.

            "Um…" Inuyasha seemed to be trying to process this. "I guess."

            "Here, I'll get my stuff." Kagome ran up the stairs went to go get some ponytail holders and her hair brush. Then she went and found Inuyasha in his room.

            "You're not going to like put ribbons in it or anything, right?" Inuyasha asked suspiciously.

            "No, I brought black ponytail holders; you won't even be able to see them." Kagome assured him. "Okay, so first you should brush out all your hair so it looks nice and smooth." Inuyasha just made a weird grumbling noise as she went about brushing it out. Inuyasha had a ton of hair and so this took quite some time.

            "Then you pull it all back with one hand and sort of smooth it like this with the other one." Kagome smoothed his hair into a very loose ponytail but then Inuyasha insisted she leave the two sections that hung down in front of his ears. ("They're fucking cool.")

            When she was finished, Inuyasha went into the bathroom to look at his reflection.

            "Well, s'not terrible." Inuyasha gave it one of his higher statements of praise. "I don't look stupid, right?" Inuyasha came out of the bathroom.

            "No, you look fine." Kagome shook her head. Was it possible that they could be around each other and not fight at all?

            "Hey kids, I'm home!" Noduko called out as she came in. "I've got groceries I could use some help with."

            "Coming!" Kagome and Inuyasha called back together. They looked at each other and for a split second looked surprised before actually smiling at each other.

------------------

            "Hello?" Kouga called into the huge house. One of the maids had let him in and told him the girls were upstairs. Looking into the huge house, he decided that really didn't narrow it down. He went up the stairs slowly.

            "We're in here!" Kagura's head popped out of a door. "Come on in, I just have to do a couple more things and then we can go."

            "Okay." Kouga walked into the room where Kagura was bouncing around getting her purse and stuff while Kikyo seemed to be playing on a Gameboy. There was something oddly familiar about that Gameboy. "Is that…my old Gameboy?"

            "Hmm?" Kikyo raised an eyebrow but didn't look up from Tetris.

            "No, silly." Kagura rolled her eyes. Kikyo set down the Gameboy and Kouga spied his own name written in sharpie on it. How weird. "Anyways, Kikyo's coming with us and we're going to an art museum."

            Shit.

            Not part of the plan.

            If only I could think of some good way of ditching Kikyo.

            "Alright." Kouga gave Kikyo a winning smile which the stoic girl did not return. All three of them went down to Kouga's car with Kagura in the passenger seat and Kikyo in the back.

            The day went fairly smoothly. Kikyo wasn't much into clothing shopping and sat in on of the chairs next to Kagura who was directing the whole thing and picking out all the clothes. Kouga kept protesting that he didn't have enough money but Kagura told him to shut up and that she'd pay for it.

            Of course, it turned out that art museums weren't Kouga's favorite thing in the whole world. Even though Kagura had told her she wasn't a tag along, Kikyo felt that way. Kagura kept suddenly turning and hugging Kikyo. Kikyo just glared at Kouga most of the time as he pretended he had no idea why there would be any ill will between them.

            How can she be so blind to it?

            It's obvious…it's all an act.

            She watched the two of them as they giggled about some joke Kouga had made.

            Though I wonder, does Kouga realize that not everything he is doing is an act?

--------------------

            "What the fuck is eating you?" Inuyasha asked as he sat down next to Kikyo at lunch, nudging her. "Hey, where's Kagura?" It was so weird to see only one of them that the theme to the Twilight Zone started to play in his head.

            "She went off campus with Kouga." Kikyo said bitterly. Saturday had been okay and a little fun but she hated the way she had been forgotten again.

            "Wanna team up and take him out?" Inuyasha offered and Kikyo smiled a little.

            "I think I'll pass for now. Besides, I'm starting to think of a plan." Kikyo opened her specially prepared bento box. There was a note attached to it.

            Hey Kikyo-

                        I made your lunch today, so you better turn and thank me. Just kidding.

                                    Love,

                                      Kagura

            At the bottom of the note was a super-deformed sketch of Kagura giving a peace sign, a small touch that only Kagura would put on something.

            "Thanks." Kikyo murmured.

            "What?" Inuyasha said around a mouthful of food.

            "Nothing, so why don't you like Kouga?" Kikyo inquired.

            "I just don't trust the guy." Inuyasha folded his arms. "He was always a bit damn peaky when we lived in the orphanage and now he's Mr. Suave-Sophisticated-Mother-Fucking-Player-Boy, always taking Kagome out on dates and not it looks like he's also dating Kagura."

            "Wait, what?" Kikyo grabbed his arm.

            "He's always taking out Kagome-" Inuyasha cut himself off as Kikyo's eyes lit up in excitement and she gripped his arms.

            "It's perfect." Kikyo looked like a kid in a candy shop, something that scared and disturbed Inuyasha very badly. "Inuyasha, I'm going to need your help."

            "You need help." Inuyasha looked perturbed. "What do I have to do?"

            "Very little if all goes to plan." Kikyo felt a grin tugging at her lips.

----------------

            "I thought we'd eat here instead of out." Kouga opened the door for Kagura and then proceeded to walk into the house after her.

            "Nice place." Kagura smiled but still felt uneasy. Maybe she should have stayed at the school and eaten with Kikyo and Inuyasha.

            Kikyo's fine by herself. Don't worry about it.

            "Thanks." Kouga gave her an odd look. "Is something wrong Kagura?"

            "Don't you see it Kagura? Look passed appearances, think of what you know."

            Why do I feel so confused?

            Is Kikyo right?

            But how could she be?

            "No, sorry, I was just thinking." Kagura shook her head. Kouga bit his lip apprehensively. "What's up Kouga?"

            "Well…the truth is…" Kouga hesitated. "I have been lying to you Kagura."

            "You…you have?" Kagura felt her eyes go round. What was this all of a sudden? Had he been lying to her?

            "I told you that I wanted to be friends and that's not true." Kouga looked down; hanging his head and reminded Kagura of the boy she used to pick on.

            Wait, he doesn't want to be friends?

            But then…he never really liked me…he hated me once, didn't he?

            "One day I'll get you back!"

            Kikyo…where are you?

            "I don't want to be friends, there's only one thing I want." Kouga moved toward her, sliding an arm around her waist and tilting her chin up.

            He pressed his lips hungrily against hers. He pushed her up against a wall, still kissing her, and it was all Kagura could do to push away from him. She wasn't sure if she wanted to stop him or not.

            "I-I…I don't understand." Kagura stammered, not being able to think intelligently as she stared into the cobalt blue eyes.

            "I love you Kagura." Kouga told her. "And now I can't let you go." He bent to kiss her again but she stopped him.

            "Wait…" Kagura murmured. "How can you love me?"

            "I just can." Kouga stopped trying to kiss her and wrapped his arms around her tightly, holding her against his body. "Kagura, do we have to go back to school? I just want to stay here like this." Kouga whispered into her ear.

            "But Kikyo-" Kagura began but was cut off.

            "Kikyo…Kikyo doesn't have to know." Kouga breathed her smell, a mixture of rose oil and a pleasant shampoo.

            "We're sisters first, everything else is second."

            "Kagura, I love you."

            "Don't leave me."

            And yet…

            "I love you Kagura."

            "Kikyo doesn't have to know."

            I want to stay here with him.

            She turned to look at him, confusion clouding her garnet eyes. And he kissed her, her confusion dissolved into more kisses that made her forget her thoughts, her reservations. She realized only briefly that they were in Kouga's bedroom and that after a bit, they were both naked.

            She let him in while in her cloud of unknowing. It was blissful forgetting the world existed and letting him move in her. Sticky sweat began to coat them and when it was over, she lay there, entangled in his arms. He slept and she lay there weeping as she realized what she had done.

            Kagura had betrayed Kikyo, who loved her and believed in her and her alone.

-------------------

            "Where is she?" Kikyo frowned, she hadn't seen Kagura all day, and she hadn't seen her in any of their classes together. It was rather weird. Kikyo shrugged and decided to go home, noting that Kagura's mini-cooper was gone.

            When she got there, she put the kettle on the oven to heat up some water for some tea. It was raining outside and rather cold. That's when someone knocked on the door. That was a little weird, Kikyo didn't know that anybody was coming and went to the door.

            Kikyo opened the front door to see Kagura standing there, looking down as though she was some lowly being, not fit to look Kikyo in the eyes.

            "Kagura-" Kikyo began.

            "I-I'm sorry!" Kagura threw her arms around the startled young woman. "I'm sorry I did this."

            "Did what?" Kikyo put her arms around Kagura in an attempt to comfort the hysterical girl.

            Kagura just held onto the dark-haired girl and didn't say a word. Kikyo wracked her brains, what could Kagura possibly have done?

            "Kikyo, you'll never forgive me…" Kagura cried.

            "There is nothing you could do that I couldn't forgive." Kikyo told her straight-out, wondering how many times she would have to tell the red-eyed girl that.

            "I-I…" Kagura choked a little. "Kouga…He said….and I…"

            "Kouga." Kikyo's eyes narrowed immediately. "What did he do?"

            "I'm just as guilty." Kagura said into Kikyo's shoulder.

            "Guilty? You…" Kikyo was starting to put two and two together. "Kagura, why don't you just say it?"

            "I slept with him." Kagura looked up for a minute at Kikyo's stunned expression before turning and running into the rain.

            "Kagura!" Kikyo felt as though someone had stabbed her. Away, Kagura was running away. Away from her and all that much closer to Kouga.

            It's what he wants.

            He manipulated her into bed…

            Kagura twirled in her new white nightgown, the two of them too excited to sleep during their first night.

            Their first kiss at sixteen…

            Kikyo braiding Kagura's hair

            Pure, sweet memories, tainted by Kouga. Kikyo's fists clenched and then she ran after Kagura, who stumbled and fell into a broken, crying heap.

            "Kagura." Kikyo spoke the name in a stern manner. "Get up. What did I just say? There's nothing you could do that I wouldn't forgive." Kikyo repeated. Kagura cried even harder and Kikyo put her arms around her. "Come on, it's cold out here."

            Kagura had to be half-carried into the house where Kikyo started a fire in the fireplace and took the screaming tea kettle off the burner and poured tea for her and Kagura, carrying it to Kagura on a tray. Kagura was sitting in front of the fireplace, in the room that connected their huge bedrooms, a blanket wrapped around her.

            Kikyo set the tray down and was taking the cups and saucers off when Kagura spoke.

            "I don't deserve you." Kagura's words made Kikyo slam down a cup and saucer, splashing some burning liquid on her hand. She ignored the slight pain.

            "Now you're going to wallow in self-pity?" Kikyo asked angrily. "It's over and done with."

            "But I liked it!" Kagura shook her head miserably. "I wanted him to…I…I still do."

            "Kagura, we're sisters first." Kikyo sat down next to her, looking away because she couldn't bear showing Kagura her tears. "Everything else doesn't matter. If you don't love me like that, it doesn't matter to me. Just be my sister."

            "No, I do still love you; I want to be with you Kikyo." Kagura grabbed Kikyo's hands. "But…"

            "A part of you wants to be with him." Kikyo finished and Kagura nodded before laying her head in Kikyo's hands.

            "I think I love him Kikyo."

            Kikyo ignored her heart breaking in two.

------------------------

            "You look a little weird." Kagome commented over the table at Kouga.

            "Er, sorry, I think the teachers overloaded me with work today." Kouga tried to laugh it away.

            "Meiko said you weren't in your last period." Kagome remembered what her friend had said. "I thought you might have been sick."

            "Kagura? Where are you going?" Kagura hurriedly got dressed as Kouga watched.

            "I…I have to go see Kikyo." Kagura tried to get her shoes on quickly.

            "Why? Stay here with me." Kouga pulled her towards him and she wrenched away.

            "You don't understand!" Kagura looked at him with tears in her eyes. "She's…I love her." And Kagura ran away.

            She'll turn you away when she finds out.

            And then you'll only have one place to run to.

            Tears in her eyes…

            I hate her and the way she treated me.

            But now she's fallen for me and I'll break her…

            Tears in her eyes…

            Somehow, it's not as satisfying as I thought it would be.

            What's this feeling?

            "Kouga?" Kagome looked concerned.

            "Oh, ah, I've been spacing off all day. I'm sorry Kagome." Kouga put on a reassuring smile. "You were saying?"

            "Meiko said you weren't in class." Kagome repeated.

            "Yeah, I went home 'cause I had this really bad headache." Kouga quickly lied.

            "Should we skip the movie and just call it a night if you aren't feeling well?" Kagome bit her lip. If she went home…after a date with Kouga, would it tip the delicate balance her and Inuyasha had discovered? Would there be any fighting?

            "No, I'm fine." Kouga waved the suggestions before checking his watch. "Oh, speaking of the movie, we better finish up if we're going to make it."

            "Ahh!" Kagome looked at her half-finished plate in dismay. "Do you mind if I get a doggy bag?"

            "Not a problem." After they got a doggy bag and Kouga paid, they headed to the movie theater. During the romantic-comedy movie Kagome insisted on seeing, Kouga put his arm around Kagome's shoulders, only to move it when he found himself thinking about Kagura instead of paying attention to the movie.

            What's wrong with me?

            As he kissed Kagome goodnight at her door, he saw for a moment, not beautiful blue eyes but tear-filled dark red eyes.

            "You don't understand!"

            "I love her!"

            "Kouga-" Kagome began to say.

            "No, sorry, I-I'm not feeling well. I'll call you tomorrow." Kouga gave her a brief smile before leaving a confused Kagome standing on her doorstep. She braced herself as she opened the door, but Inuyasha wasn't waiting for her. She shrugged before going upstairs.

            As she walked by his room, she saw him lying on his bed, staring at a photograph he held in his hand.

            "Inuyasha?" Kagome started hesitantly and Inuyasha jumped and shoved the photograph under his pillow.

            "What?" Inuyasha snapped. Then he saw her. "Oh, it's you."

            "Well sorry." Kagome rolled her eyes. "What's that you've got stashed under your pillow?"

            It's just a photo from when I was in the orphanage." Inuyasha shrugged.

            "Really? Let me see!" Kagome came into the room and sat down on the bed.

            "Fine, whatever." Inuyasha got the photo, making it sound stupid and waste of time.

            "Hey, you were a cute little kid!" Kagome exclaimed as she looked at it. Inuyasha looked irritated in the picture, but the one in real life was blushing and scowling.

            "Who are these other people?" Kagome's eyes moved over to a pair of girls, one emotionless with a small hint of a smile and the other with her arm around her smiling brilliantly. Kagome noticed the second girl's blood red eyes. "Is that…Kagura and Kikyo?"

            "Yeah." Inuyasha confirmed.

            "I didn't know you guys were all at the same orphanage together." Kagome went to the last person in the photo, a scrawny, slightly unkempt boy with big thick glasses and he was looking at the small Kagura with a studious and enigmatic gaze. "Who's this?"

            "Kouga." Inuyasha told her.

            "Kouga?!" Kagome checked the picture and noticed that he had the same wildly blue eyes. "He sure has changed."

            "Maybe in looks but he's still just as annoying." Inuyasha muttered. "It's no wonder Kagura was always giving him shit. She was a little vicious sometimes but mostly, it's what the guy needed."

            "Kagura was a bully?" Kagome was really interested now.

            "A little." Inuyasha shrugged. "Kikyo and her would double-team him."

            "That's weird, I thought him and Kagura were friends." Kagome commented.

            "Especially with him and her skipping school today together." Inuyasha grumbled. "I think it's pissing Kikyo off."

            "They skipped school together? But Kouga said he went home with a headache." Kagome's brow furrowed. Then she immediately stopped talking. Inuyasha would surely try to start an argument over it.

            Instead she felt a hesitant hand on her back and Inuyasha sat right next to her.

            "Hey, um, are you okay?" Inuyasha asked her in a slightly rough but quiet voice.

            "I'm fine, I was just thinking." Kagome smiled at him shyly. "So, uh, how's Rin?"

            "She's fine. She's really smart, a lot smarter than I am." Inuyasha spoke proudly. "I miss her, even though I see her a lot. We were really close, you know?"

            "It must be hard." Kagome patted his other hand comfortingly.

            "Sometimes." Inuyasha looked distant. "Like when we fight…it makes it harder…"

            "Because you remember having a sibling around." Kagome finished as they both looked up at each other. In that moment, they understood each other.

            "I remember the night before we were separated, Rin and I slept in the same bed because we were fighting it but I think we both knew." Inuyasha closed his eyes. "But you wouldn't care if we were separated because you hate me."

            "I was angry sometimes about how my brother died. I never really gave you a chance." Kagome remarked sadly. Then she felt his arm move to around her shoulders and her head lay against him.

            "I think I did the same thing." Inuyasha closed his eyes. Kagome felt her eyes close she became so warm and sleepy that she didn't want to get up.

            And Inuyasha didn't her to either.

--------------------

            Okay, careful." Noduko whispered conspiratorially to her husband as he lifted up the digital camera. Neither wanted to wake the sleeping teenagers.

            "Get ready to run…" Their father lifted the camera. "1…2…3…RUN!" The camera flashed and the two took off as Inuyasha and Kagome both woke up. They had fallen asleep and were entangled with each other.

            "Wha…?" Kagome's face grew red as the whole situation dawned on her. Inuyasha and she were standing several feet from each other only a few moments later.

            "I saw a flash." Kagome tried to think of what it was.

            "The camera!" Inuyasha whirled and the two ran through the house.

            "Ha, your father left with it." Noduko teased them.

            "No, how could you take a picture of me and her-" Inuyasha was cut off.

            "It was so darling, you two being so close." Noduko sighed in happiness. "Breakfast you two."

            The two sighed as they retired to their seats, not being able to look at the other at all.

-----------------

            It was Saturday evening and Rin had finally gotten out of play practice. It seemed like either was never going to come that evening. There was so much chaos going on offstage and onstage that she wondered if the play would really be ready on time. Maybe if the main actors in the play weren't caught up in some love polygon.

            Rin skipped with her bottle of Raspberry Nestea through the grounds to the corner where Sesshomaru would be waiting. He had a night class that ended at the same time but he would leave early or speed.

            I don't see why. At least he doesn't wait in his car after he's dropped me off. I want him to do what he needs to.

            Rin turned the corner, deciding to take a shortcut through the bus lane to get to the parking lot. She realized it was pretty dark and she was a little nervous and hesitant.

            No big deal, just the dark.

            She kept walking down the sidewalk of the deserted bus lane. She heard footsteps behind her. Was somebody from practice walking this way too? She turned to see them.

            Suddenly she was knocked over as something heavy jumped on her. It was a man that tried to get a hold of her but Rin twisted away and began to run. The man came right after her.

            "Somebody help!" Rin called out as she tried to outrun the man.

            He caught her wrist and pulled her back sharply, causing her to fall and hit her head. The man slapped her across the face before hitting her repeatedly. Rin screamed and cried but no one came. Then he ripped open her shirt and began to put his hands all over her body.

            "Sesshomaru!" Rin yelled in the vain hope that he would hear her.

            Where are you?

            The pain was unbearable and Rin squeezed her eyes shut and cried while the man raped her.

-----------------

            Sesshomaru pressed the gas pedal even harder. His instructor kept him afterwards just to tell him he was doing great in the class. Now he was late picking up Rin.

            He pulled into the high school parking lot but there was no sign of Rin. That was odd. Maybe play practice was staying late? He waited and waited, his mind trying to come up with a reasonable explanation for Rin not being there. That's when he made out a shape that was moving slowly towards the car. It finally came out into the streetlight.

            Sesshomaru's eyes widened.

            No…

            He hurried out of his car and ran towards the person. Just as they fainted in exhaustion, Sesshomaru caught them.

            Rin lay in his arms, naked, bruised, and bleeding.

            He wrapped her up in his black trench coat and carried her to car where he gently put her in the front seat and buckled her in. The drive to the hospital was one of the longest and tedious in his life. Sesshomaru didn't care how many traffic law he broke. He finally arrived and took Rin into the emergency room.

            "Omigod." The nurse behind the counter remarked as she saw Rin.

            "Something happened to her, I need a doctor." Sesshomaru told her in a commanding tone and the nurse nodded as she took her into a room and laid her down.

            "Um, sir," The nurse began nervously. "You really shouldn't be back here-"

            "I'm her brother." Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed.

            "Ah." The nurse nodded. "Sorry, thought you were her boyfriend. Could you fill out some papers?"

            "Yes, fine, where's the doctor?" Sesshomaru couldn't believe the incompetence the hospital was showing.

            "On his way sir." The nurse handed him a clipboard.

            "Ungh…" Rin groaned as her eyes opened. She sat up quickly and seemed frightened.

            "Rin." Sesshomaru dropped the clipboard and rushed to her. Rin looked down at herself. And then she began to scream. Sesshomaru reached out towards her but she batted his hand away in her hysterics.

            Nurses and doctors rushed in and began calming her down, trying to get to say what had happened but all she did was cry.

            They tried to ask Sesshomaru but he stood there staring at Rin and knowing he could do nothing. Rin was trying to twist away from the nurses and began calling for Sesshomaru.

            It was like this wasn't it?

            Some monster attacked you and you called for me and called for me and I didn't come…

            He rushed forward as she called his name and when her eyes focused on him, she stopped moving and yelling. She just stared at him as tears flowed down her cheeks.

            "Sess…ho…maru…" And her eyes closed again and he caught her again, laying her gently down. The doctor took over again and Sesshomaru called his parents. Then after hanging up, he stared at his phone for a few minutes. He dialed another number.

------------------

            "Who could be calling right now?" Kagome picked up the phone. "Higurashi residence, Kagome speaking."

            "Is Inuyasha there?" A deep male voice asked.

            "I think so, Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled into the house. "Your boyfriend's on the phone!"

            "Tell Miroku to fuck off!" The yell came down the stairs.

            "I don't think its Miroku." Kagome called back up. Inuyasha came grumbling down the stairs about how he didn't have a boyfriend and it better not be Miroku. Kagome sat down at the table where she was doing homework.

            "Yeah?" Inuyasha picked up the phone. "What the fuck do you want? What?!" Kagome looked up as Inuyasha's face became a mixture of anger and upset. "What hospital? I'll be there in five minutes." And he hung up.

            "What was that-" Kagome began to ask.

            "I can't talk, Rin's in the hospital." Inuyasha was already leaving the room.

            "What?" Kagome stood up in concern and surprise. "I'm coming with you."

            "Let's go then." Inuyasha snapped impatiently and together they headed towards the hospital.

------------------

            "I'm looking for Tsuzuki Rin's room." Inuyasha yelled at the nurse behind the desk.

            "Room 201 but sir-" The nurse's words were cut off as Inuyasha grabbed Kagome's hand and they rushed towards the elevator. Inuyasha was extremely impatient and began cursing about how slow elevators were. They burst out of the elevator and ran into Rin's hospital room.

            It had taken them half an hour to get to the hospital because they hadn't known exactly where it was. In that time Rin had been doing a few tests and was then moved to a different room where she was sitting p and making a sound. From the streaks across her face, they could tell she had been crying besides the huge bruise on her cheek, a lip that had been bleeding, besides her arms and hands which had some bandages on them.

            "Rin!" Inuyasha nearly shoved Sesshomaru was sitting in a chair aside. "Rin, who the fuck did this to you?"

            "Don't upset her." Sesshomaru stood up and his face was expressionless but his yellow eyes never left Rin.

            "Inuyasha?" Rin turned towards him and then threw her arms around him. "Inuyasha…"

            "Maybe I should-" Kagome started to move towards the door.

            "Stay." Inuyasha ordered. "You're my sister too, that practically makes you her sister."

            "Inuyasha, I was so scared." Rin tightened her hold on her brother.

            "It's okay now." Inuyasha brow furrowed as he held onto her. "I'm right here." They hugged for a few moments before Sesshomaru cleared his throat.

            "If I might speak to Inuyasha outside for a moment…" Sesshomaru trailed off.

            "I'll stay in here with Rin." Kagome volunteered immediately.

            "Okay." Inuyasha got up. "Just hang out with Kagome, okay?"

            "Alright." Rin turned towards Kagome. "Hello Kagome."

            "Hey, Rin, what's up?" Kagome smiled weakly at the girl. It was amazing how she could still seem somewhat cheerful, even though something terrible had happened.

            Outside the room, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha were talking.

            "Rin was attacked by some man when she got out of play practice." Sesshomaru began but Inuyasha broke in.

            "I'll fucking kill him!" Inuyasha did look ready to kill somebody. "Beating the shit out of Rin, what the hell is wrong with him?"

            "She wasn't just beaten…she was raped." Sesshomaru said the word as though it was causing him physical pain.

            "WHAT?! I'll fucking rip off his fucking-"

            "Shhh, if she hears you, it'll only upset her more." Sesshomaru tried to quiet the angry young man. "I called you because I knew you could comfort her."

            "Oh…" Inuyasha looked surprised. "Thanks for calling me. I'm going to fucking hunt down the bastard that did this and kill him as slowly as possible. I'll get fucking Kikyo to help me." He remembered the various times Kikyo had scared him with threats.

            "The police are already looking for him." Sesshomaru informed him. "However, if you were to meet the man, who did this, I'll expect you to return the favor and call me."

            "Fuck yeah!" Inuyasha agreed. "This is fucking…shit…why Rin? Why fucking Rin?"

            "I don't know." Sesshomaru sighed. "We should probably go back in there."

            I couldn't be there for her…

            Do I really deserve to be near her?

-------------------

            "Come on, fucking pick up." Kouga cursed into the phone as he listened to Kagura's voice mail message for the three-hundredth time that day.

            "Hey, this is everyone's favorite Kagura here, and I'm not here because I'm too busy being fawned over, so please, leave a worshipping prayer to me, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible." Then there was a beep. He was going to leave the eleventh message today.

            "Kagura? Are you there? You always have your cell phone with you! Look, I really want to talk to you." Kouga knew she couldn't hear the voice mail but it was worth a try. He hung up again.

            What the hell is going on?

            The phone rang and he sprang on it.

            "Hello?" He asked breathlessly.

            "Hey." Kagura's voice sounded small.

            "Kagura, why haven't you called me or anything? I kept calling." Kouga asked her immediately.

            "I don't know." Kagura sighed over the phone. "Kikyo knows. I told her."

            "And?" Kouga tried to sound concerned rather then smug because he knew Kikyo had probably reacted just the way he had predicted.

            "She…she forgave me…" Kagura's voice cracked.

            She did not! There's no way!

            That's not part of the plan. Kikyo was supposed to turn her away.

            Was I wrong? Has Kikyo done the opposite?

            Shit, oh well, it's only a matter of time.

            "So…what does that mean?" Kouga asked and was surprised how vulnerable he sounded. "What does that mean for us?"

            "I don't know…" Kagura sounded as though she were miserably confused.

            Good.

            Cause that's what I wanted.

            I wanted her to be miserable.

            "Kagura…" Kouga trailed off.

            "I want to see you again…but I feel so horrible. Kikyo forgave me and I love her…but…but I don't know. I love you too." Kagura admitted.

            How does it feel, Kagura?

            "You…you do?" Kouga was a little shocked at the same time. Was Kagura really capable of such a thing?

            "I…I don't know." Kagura sighed again. "I don't know what to do, I'm so confused."

            "Is Kikyo there?" Kouga asked.

            "Yes, she's in the other room." Kagura told him. "Listen, I'll see you on Monday, alright?"

            "I want to talk to you, face to face." Kouga protested.

            "Not right now." Kagura whispered. "Please, I'll see you on Monday."

            "Okay." Kouga sighed before he heard the clicking noise of Kagura's phone. Great. Now that that wasn't going at all how he wanted it to. He really felt as though it were integral to the plan to see Kagura again.

            And plus…I mean, the sex was nice.

            He formed a plan to see Kagura before Monday, it was sure to work out.

----------------------

            "Are you coming Kikyo?" Kagura yelled from her bedroom where her door was open.

            "Yes, I'm changing." Kikyo called back. They were getting ready for bed. Kagura turned her back from the door and waited. Suddenly two arms wrapped around her.

            "Heh, Kikyo, you sure are huggy today." Kagura giggled before turning to see the person who was holding her was not Kikyo. It was Kouga. "K-Kouga!"

            "What?" Kikyo called back.

            "Uh nothing!" Kagura ran and closed her door, leaning up against it and looking at Kouga. "What are you doing here? How did you even get in?"

            "Snuck in." Kouga tried to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. "Listen, I wanted to-"

            "Kagura?" Kikyo knocked on the door softly. "Can I come in?"

            "Um, I'm not feeling very well all of a sudden. I threw up." Kagura made up quickly. "You better not sleep with me tonight, you might get sick too."

            "Do you want me to get you anything?" Kikyo asked.

            "No, no, I'll probably just throw it up." Kagura lied quickly.

            "Alright." They listened to Kikyo walk away from the door.

            "Omigod, what are you doing here?" Kagura asked him. "It's not that I didn't want to see you but Kikyo…"

            "I don't care about Kikyo." Kouga shook his head. "I just wanted to come see you."

            "But if Kikyo finds out that you're here…" Kagura looked at the door nervously. Kouga gave her a slightly pitiful look. "Just, okay, I know we should talk." Kagura sat down on the bed and gestured for Kouga to sit down as well.

            "So…you love me? But you love Kikyo?" Kouga tried to puzzle it out.

            "Yes." Kagura nodded her head. "I know that sounds weird but I just don't know…I don't know if…"

            "Come here." Kouga held out his arms and Kagura leaned into them, letting Kouga hold her. "I'm just happy seeing you. I wonder if Kikyo loves you as much as you love her?"

            "Of course she does!" Kagura protested immediately.

            "And if she had done what you done, could you forgive her?" Kouga asked, his voice soft and caring, as though he were only watching out for her interests. But that wasn't true.

            "Yes, yes I could." Kagura decided. "Wouldn't it be hypocritical to not forgive her?"

            "Would it hurt you?" Kouga pressed on.

            "Yes, but then, I think it hurt her." Kagura thought back to the sad expression on Kikyo's face.

            "Kagura, I brought you some-" Kikyo came into the room. Kouga had tightened his hold on Kagura who was staring at Kikyo with large wide eyes. Kikyo was staring right back, holding a cup of some steaming liquid. "Oh, I didn't realize I was interrupting." With that, she turned and left.

            "Kikyo!" Kagura leapt out of Kouga's arms and ran after Kikyo. But by the time she made it to the living room, Kikyo's door was closing behind her.

            "Can't you see I'm busy?"

            "Can't you do something with her?"

            Always…always there were doors separating us…

            There will always be doors…can anyone really love me?

            Kouga was standing in the doorway of Kagura's room. Kagura turned from him to Kikyo's closed door and then fell to her knees in confusion. Tears were streaming down her face.

            I'm selfish.

            Inside her room, Kikyo set the tray down. She tried to calm herself but somehow, the sight of Kouga had made her emotions jump. She wanted to hurt him.

            He's doing this; he's trying to tear us apart…

            Gods, Kagura, please see! Please open your eyes!

            She wanted nothing more then to protect Kagura from Kouga but what could she do when Kagura didn't realize she needed it? What could she do? Then she remembered the plan. It would hurt Kagura. It would hurt her to have her eyes opened now. But Kouga and his primrose path had to disappear. Kagura's heart would be torn with them.

            Am I being selfish?

            Am I thinking of my own feelings? Or am I thinking of what is best for Kagura?

            What happens when you can't tell the difference?

-----------------------------

            "Heh, okay, do you remember the time that we got into the ice-cream but we left it out?" Inuyasha asked Rin who was giggling at him. "Then we left it out? Mom and Dad were fucking pissed when they saw that melted ice-cream everywhere."

            "One time Souta and I ate all the strawberries in the fridge." Kagome joined in. The three of them were sitting there, Rin in her bed at the hospital waiting to get out quite patiently the next day and the other two trying to cheer her up. There was one other person in the room.

            Sesshomaru was apart from the group. And not just verbally or mentally, he was actually sitting several feet behind Inuyasha in a slightly dark corner. He was watching them with a somber expression, mostly just at Rin. Rin kept looking over at him and then a sad look would flash across her features and she would pretend to smile for Kagome and Inuyasha.

            Inuyasha couldn't believe what a difference had come between him and Kagome. It was still hard to imagine him and her cheering up Rin. As Kagome related the strawberry-fiasco to them, he watched her blue eyes light up and twinkle. She was telling stories about Souta. She never talked about Souta like this. It was almost like…they were siblings. Not just adopted siblings who barely tolerated each other. The sun was streaming through the window behind her, making her black hair seem almost blue in some spots. And he memorized these things.

            "Okay, do you want me to get you some snack food?" Inuyasha asked Rin, getting up. "The hospital food kind of sucks. We'll get you some chips or something."

            "Doritos!" Rin volunteered. Then she turned towards Sesshomaru. "Do you want anything?"

            "I'm fine." Sesshomaru's eyes had immediately gone to the floor.

            "I'll go with you!" Kagome volunteered and sprang up to go get food with Inuyasha. As soon as the two left, the room was silent. All the laughter melted from Rin's eyes as though it had been a spell.

            Her brown eyes went to her hands. They were bandaged. But she remembered them scraping against the sidewalk as the man had shoved himself inside her.

            No! Don't think about that right now.

            Sesshomaru…please look at me. Please look at me.

            Do you hate me?

            "Sesshomaru…" Rin started to say. His eyes were downcast still and stopped. Tears started to form. Sesshomaru had always been with her, ever since he had entered her life. And now it seemed like that was all over.

            I'm so dirty…can I really blame him?

            I'm disgusting. I'm some revolting horrible person…

            "Rin…" Sesshomaru began to say something and Rin looked up at him hopefully when Inuyasha and Kagome came laughing back into the room.

            "Yes because Gobstoppers are so badass." Kagome joked.

            "Rin…hey, have you been crying?" Inuyasha saw a several tears fall down Rin's cheeks. She quickly began to wipe at them. Inuyasha shot a suspicious look at the person who had been alone in the room with her. Deciding that Sesshomaru wouldn't make Rin cry, or else Sesshomaru had re-instated his death wish, Inuyasha sat down next to her bed again.

            "I'm fine." Rin tried to assure him. "I'm still alive, right? That's something to be thankful for."

            "Don't even fucking talk about shit like that." Inuyasha sounded like he was almost joking but one look at his face could tell that in fact, he wasn't. "Fuck, Rin-"

            "Please…don't." Inuyasha looked taken aback as Rin shook her head. "Just…"

            "Hey-" Inuyasha was cut off again.

            "DON'T!" Rin yelled and then began to cry. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Inuyasha…"

            "Don't apologize Rin." Kagome reached out to put a comforting hand on Rin's shoulder. Rin let it stay there as she looked over at Sesshomaru. She wanted his comfort. His reassurance. But he wouldn't even look at her.

            I'm nothing…and I hate that.

            Sesshomaru…

            You've always been so beautiful…

            So how could I expect you to stand someone so ugly?

---------------------

            It was Monday. They were all eating lunch together. Kouga, Inuyasha, Miroku, Kikyo, Kagura, and Kagome.

            But something was off. Miroku seemed to notice it but seemed to busy heaping compliments on Kagome until Inuyasha threatened to kill him and then would desist for exactly ten seconds. Inuyasha was eating his lunch and watching the others, but mostly Kagome. He couldn't figure out why. Kouga seemed decidedly nervous during this lunch and he had no idea why. Kikyo was coolly eating her food but for her to be doing anything else would have been weird. Kagura looked like she needed Prozac and Kagome seemed to be the only generally normal one.

            "Okay, what the fuck happened?" Inuyasha asked them. He could just tell. His life was not going to become some weirdass soap opera.

            "Huh?" Kagura looked up at him. "Nothing happened." But she said it a little too quickly.

            "Why aren't you being all fucking cheery and shit?" Inuyasha asked suspiciously. "And why isn't Kouga being all fucking stupid?"

            "Inuyasha!" Kagome looked irked at him. She wanted to pat Kouga's hand but she was sitting next to Inuyasha, all the way across from Kouga at the table. The tables in the cafeteria could easily fit anywhere from six to however many damn chairs you could squeeze around them.

            "I don't see a difference in Kouga's intelligence."

            Everyone's eyes widened as they looked at Kikyo. She wasn't looking at anyone, just eating her lunch, almost as if she hadn't said anything.

            "Kikyo…" Kagura trailed off uneasily, glancing over at Kouga.

            "What was that Kikyo?" Kouga asked in a scathing voice.

            "I said your intelligence has not gotten any higher." Kikyo looked directly at him as if challenging him. Kouga blatantly ignored her and turned towards Kagura.

            "Do you want to study again today like we did on Friday?" Kouga inquired. Kagura's eyes bugged and Kikyo's eyes narrowed into a glare that Inuyasha was sure would set Kouga aflame any moment now.

            "On Friday, Inuyasha showed me a picture of you guys!" Kagome decided to try and be the peace keeper. "I didn't know you were all at the orphanage together!"

            "Yes, why don't you tell them all of your stunning friendship with Kagura, Kouga?" Kikyo's voice was as cold as steel. Kouga's eyes widened.

            "I'll get you back one day!"

            "We weren't friends then." Kagura laughed in a strained sort of way. "But I guess everybody grows up sometime don't they?"

            "Omigod, I can't believe he fell for it…"

            Kouga stared at Kagura for a few moments. She thought he had just grown up and forgotten all of it? All the pain she had caused him? And suddenly his resolution was only stronger in his mind. She could forget others so easily?

            I knew how she could torture others…but I didn't know she could completely forget.

            Why does Kikyo love this heartless being so much?

            And why do I find myself hating Kikyo?

            "Perhaps there is some sort of secret love triangle going on here." Miroku said slyly. Kagura, Kikyo, and Kouga all looked at him with mild surprise.

            "I'm going to the library." Kikyo stood up and gathered up her stuff, trying to walk off hurriedly.

            "Wait for me!" Kagura ran after her. Kouga slammed a fist on the table, surprising the others.

            "I've got to go." Kouga walked off. Kagome quickly excused herself and went after him. Thus, it was only Miroku and Inuyasha left at the table.

            "Good job Sir Fucks-A-Lot." Inuyasha flipped him off. "Stick to your binge-screwing."

            "I don't see why you criticize my personal life." Miroku gave him a humorless look. Then a devilish grin spread across his face. "But then, I suppose it must be a horrible frustrating ordeal to live in the same house as a beautiful woman and not be able to touch her ever."

            "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Inuyasha asked him angrily.

            "I'm talking about your dear adopted sister." Miroku explained outright to the dark-haired young man.

            "Kagome?!" Inuyasha's face reddened slightly as he realized exactly what Miroku was saying. "Feh! Like I would want to do anything with her!"

            "Oh really?" Miroku raised an eyebrow. "Well then it must be okay if I ask out Kagome."

            "She's fucking dating Kouga." Inuyasha stood up. "And stay the fuck away from her."

            "Not that you care, I suppose?" Miroku seemed to be amused by Inuyasha's reaction.

            "I don't give a fuck." Inuyasha grumbled as he walked off. Miroku just watched him with a small smile.

            I'm sure you don't…

            *                                                          *                                              *

            Rin did her home quietly in her room. Sesshomaru was home but he wasn't there in her room. He was in his own. Rin looked at her door sadly. She was waiting to hear that soft but firm knocking that meant he was waiting to come in. Then she would invite him in and he would look at her with that bittersweet look as though she brightened his day, like she was the sun.

            He'll never look at me like that again…

            A tear rolled down her cheek and then fell onto her homework. She couldn't concentrate just then and so she shoved it aside and then curled up on her bed. Part of her wanted to go and see Inuyasha but a bigger part of her just wanted Sesshomaru to look at her.

            He hadn't looked at her since the incident.

            She wasn't fit for him. She couldn't be his Rin, his little sister, any longer. Rin began to cry on her pillows. That's when she heard the door open behind her. Her eyes widened.

            "Rin? Are you asleep?" Sesshomaru's voice was soft and she closed her eyes and tried to look like she was sleeping. He came and sat on her bed, next to her. Rin tried her best to not show she was awake.

            Then she felt it.

            A soft hand very gently trailing over her face.

            "I'm sorry Rin." Sesshomaru told her. Rin wanted to cry even harder and open her eyes and throw her arms around him. She wanted him to hold her and tell her that she wasn't ugly or dirty or anything.

            Because if Sesshomaru says it…

            If he says that I'm beautiful, then it will all go away.

            I'll believe him.

            Then he got up and left the room. Rin opened her eyes as soon as she heard the door click. She turned towards the door but she knew she had missed her chance to talk to Sesshomaru. She had to talk to him.

            Rin got up and threw the door open but at the end of the hall, Sesshomaru's door was closing. Rin sank to her knees, still holding onto the door handle.

            Just look at me…look into my eyes…

            Hold me like you used to…

            So I know that you still care for me.

--------------------

            They were driving home together from the store, Kagura and Kikyo, both in Kikyo's car. Kikyo was concentrating on the road and Kagura was being quiet in her seat. She wasn't fiddling with the radio, she wasn't talking, and she wasn't trying to distract Kikyo from the road.

            She was just staring at Kikyo and then she would look back at her hands as though she were ashamed. Then back up at Kikyo.

            "What is it?" Kikyo asked, almost as if she were far away, her detached attention to Kagura's strange behavior made Kagura almost flinch.

            "What is it?"

            "I don't have time for you right now Kagura."

            "Can't you take her somewhere?"

            "I…just…are you mad at me?" Kagura asked sheepishly.

            "No." Kikyo's brow furrowed, she still hadn't look at Kagura at all. "No, I just…I want you to make up your mind."

            "Huh?" Kagura's head titled to one side.

            "I love you but you love Kouga." Kikyo told her.

            "I love you too!" Kagura insisted because she knew she did. There was no one else like Kikyo in the whole world.

            "If you love me, then you'll have to choose." Kikyo closed her eyes as she waited for a few moments at the traffic light. "I don't want you to stay because you feel obligated to."

            "I don't feel obligated…I just…" Kagura tried to find a way to put her thoughts into words. "I can't choose between you. I can't imagine life without you and I can't really imagine it without Kouga either."

            "It just hurts." Kikyo actually admitted it to Kagura. "It hurts to know that you love him as much as you love me." Kagura's red eyes stared at Kikyo's profile.

            I didn't think about that.

            It hurts Kikyo.

            Does it hurt Kouga as well?

            Am I hurting the two people I love most?

            But how do I choose between them? And why do I have to?

            "Your present."

            It was always so detached, almost like I was a trinket, something they could set aside. Could they ever really love me?

            Could anyone?

            Kagura fell silent at the thought. What happened the day that both of them left her? And was that day really that far away?

----------------------

            He sat in his car and waited for her. She came running out the front door on Wednesday and got into his car. Kouga smiled at her eagerness. She really did think he was in love with her.

            "Hey." Kouga smiled at Kagura.

            "Hey." Kagura smiled back at him. "Kikyo went to the library." Kouga felt his hands tighten on the wheel.

            "So, you'll only see me when she's not around?" Kouga asked her sharply.

            "No!" Kagura put a hand on his arm. "That's not it at all."

            "That's what it feels like." Kouga was surprised by the amount of bitterness in his voice. He should really be more understanding that way Kagura would think of just him. "I'm sorry Kagura, I just…I love you and I want to spend all my time with you. But it seems like you don't have time for me."

            "I do have time for you." Kagura smiled. "I'm making time for you. I wanted to spend more time with you…but I do love Kikyo."

            This kept Kouga quiet until they got to his house. They went in, bypassing Kouga's parents quite quickly. He led her into his room and shut the door, locking it behind him.

            Why does this bother me so much?

            Why do I care?

            To hear those words…it's like I can't make Kagura love me most.

            I want her to love me most.

            It'll hurt her more if she does.

            "It's weird being back here…" Kagura sat down on his bed. Kouga sat down next to her and put an arm around her waist, using a hand to make her look up into his blue eyes.

            "Yeah it is." Kouga let his hand trail upwards a little; the feel of Kagura's body was so perfect. Her willing body, that vulnerable look in her eyes. Kouga felt himself wanting to repeat the activities that had commenced the last time she was in this room.

            "I…I don't know…" Kagura seemed to be trying to answer the unspoken question. "I don't know if we should…"

            "What?" Kouga was surprised by her. Why wouldn't she want to? He hadn't even considered that possibility.

            "It's just…Kikyo…" Kagura tried to make sense of her confusion. Kouga pressed his lips against her, crushing her against him. Kagura wasn't fighting him. He pressed his weight against her and she fell backwards with him on top of her.

            "I don't care about Kikyo." Kouga looked directly in her eyes. "It's just you. This is just about you." Kagura's lips parted in her disbelief. "Tell me to stop and I will." He went for her throat and she pressed against him readily.

            "I don't want to." Kagura moaned in his ear as he began to unbutton her shirt. "Please don't." Kouga felt a feeling of victory. Soon. Very soon.

            I don't know if I could have stopped…

            This feeling…all I wanted is her right now.

-------------------------

            "What's with the make-up?" Inuyasha had come into Kagome's room on Friday, something that he seemed prone to doing now a day. It wasn't like before where he only did it to make some snide remark.

            "Kouga's taking me to Mezzo's at eight." Kagome answered him. "It's that pizza place."

            "Oh." Inuyasha had a very strange look on his face. Kagome couldn't tell what was going through his head right then. "I know that place."

            "Is something wrong?" Kagome looked at him, trying to figure out the odd look on his face.

            "No." Inuyasha turned around and started to walk out. "Have fun."

            "I will." Kagome felt a twinge as he walked out, his hair back in a loose ponytail, just like she had shown him. She didn't know why, but she had almost wanted him to act differently about it. She didn't want to fight…but something.

            Inuyasha went downstairs and immediately dialed Kikyo's number. The phone rang twice.

            "Yes?" Kikyo answered.

            "Mezzo's, eight o'clock." Inuyasha felt like he was in some badass spy movie.

            "Meet us there." Kikyo said in an almost commanding tone.

            "See ya." Inuyasha hung up the phone. Just as he did, it rang. He picked it up again, wondering vaguely who it was. "Yeah?"

            "Inuyasha?" It was Rin's voice, small and sad.

            "Rin?" Inuyasha asked even though he knew he couldn't mistake that voice. "What's going on?"

            "I…" Rin trailed off. "I just wanted to talk to you."

            "How are you doing?" Inuyasha's tone was softer then his usual harsh one.

            "I'm fine." Rin didn't sound fine. She sounded like she might start crying. Inuyasha felt like he might crush the phone in his grip.

            "What's wrong?" He almost barked into the phone.

            "It's nothing. I'm sorry…" Rin tried to cover up quickly. "I…I should go."

            "Wait-" The phone clicked as Rin hung up on her end. Inuyasha stared at the phone in confusion for a few moments. What had just happened? He put the phone down. He had other things to think about as well. He made a mental note to stop by Rin's and check on her tomorrow. He heard Kagome calling out good-bye as she left out the front door. It was time for Kikyo's plan.

            Opening someone's eyes like that.

            Shit, in a way, it's almost as bad as what Kagura did to Kouga.

--------------------

            "Hey Inuyasha!" Kagura was sitting at a table with Kikyo. Inuyasha was glad he couldn't see Kagome. He'd rather not watch Kouga and her being all fucking cutesy. He sat with the two girls.

            "Hey, what's up?" Inuyasha greeted them.

            "We already ordered drinks." Kagura gestured towards her coke. "They're coming with our breadsticks soon."

            "The breadsticks here kickass." Inuyasha declared. Kikyo had told him to act as normally as possible and that she would take care of everything. Sitting in the restaurant, knowing that something was supposed to happen…it was just kind of weird.

            He noticed that they were almost right next to the bathroom, but part of him thought that Kikyo had almost planned it that way. How weird. But then, did anyone really want to question what Kikyo was doing? Some how he thought such a course of action would involve stabbing.

            That's when Kagome came by. She spotted them and waved as she went into the bathroom. They all waved back, Inuyasha with his sort of cool wave, Kagura waved exuberantly, and Kikyo waved calmly with a small little smile.

            Kagome came back out a few moments later and came over to the table.

            "Hey you guys!" Kagome greeted them cheerfully. "What are you guys doing here?"

            "I was hungry and then Kikyo called and wanted to know if I wanted to go eat. I'm not following you." Inuyasha's nose twitched a little.

            "I didn't say that." Kagome sat next to him in the round booth. "Kouga and I are here too."

            "What?" Kagura looked at her almost in pure disbelief. "Kouga?"

            "Yeah, you know, Kouga." Kagome shrugged. "We almost always go out on Friday."

            "Are you and Kouga dating?" Kikyo looked mildly surprised but Inuyasha knew she was faking.

            "Yeah, well, I guess I'm his girlfriend. We've been going out since he moved here." Kagome blushed lightly. "He hasn't told you guys?"

            Kagura's eyes and expression showed she had just been shattered. And then Kouga appeared.

            "There you are Kagome, what…?" Kouga trailed off as his throat stuck. He had spotted Kagura who was looking at him with such a heartbroken expression that it made Inuyasha feel like shit and he could only guess how Kikyo felt as her face betrayed no emotion. Kagura stood up.

            "I…I didn't know you and Kagome were dating." Kagura put on this horrible cheerful look that Inuyasha knew was completely fake. "How nice." And then she ran from the table.

            "Kagura!" Kouga called after her.

            "What's going on?" Kagome asked Kouga sharply.

            "I…I can't talk right now." Kouga ran after Kagura who had already left the restaurant. Kagome turned towards the other two.

            Why is he running after Kagura?

            I thought…

            "Especially with him and her skipping school today together."

            He's been acting so weird…

            Are Kagura and Kouga…?

            Am I an idiot?

            Has Kouga being using me?

            She turned bright blue eyes that sparkled with tears that were pricking at her eyes towards the two. Did they know? Had Inuyasha not said anything? Had Kikyo not said anything? Was everything just a lie?

            "Did…you…" Kagome's voice cracked. "Did you know about the two of them?"

            "Yeah…well, I don't really know that much about it…Kikyo knows more about it then I do." Inuyasha admitted.

            "So you just let me…you never told me…I trusted you!" Kagome stood up and stalked out of the restaurant. Inuyasha got up and chased after her. He didn't even think about how this was going to affect Kagome. He never thought of any of that. He was just thinking about getting back at Kouga.

            I'm a fucking idiot.

            Inuyasha caught her as they both got outside. He grabbed her arm.

            "Let go of me Inuyasha!" Kagome wrenched her arm away from him.

            "Listen, fuck, Kagome, he's using Kagura and Kikyo wanted her to realize that but no matter what she fucking told her, Kagura wasn't listening." Inuyasha grabbed her arm again and whirled her around to face him. "Would you have listened to me?"

            "I might have!" Kagome tried to pull away from him but he kept a firm grip on her arms. "Let me go!"

            "I'm not letting you go!" Inuyasha yelled at her. "It was fucking Kikyo's idea! Okay?! I wasn't fucking thinking about you! I wasn't fucking thinking at all!"

            "Let me go!" Kagome repeated, trying to twist her arms away.

            "Fuck you!" Inuyasha roared at her. "I'm not letting you go! I'm not letting you go Kagome!" Kagome stopped for a moment, shocked by his words. She stood there staring up at his violet eyes as he held tightly onto her wrists.

            He sounds so possessive…

            Like…like he really can't just let me go.

            Does Inuyasha…actually care about me?

            "Inuyasha…" Kagome just stared up at him.

            "Dammit, Kagome." Inuyasha's grip loosened and her arms dropped to her sides. "You wouldn't have believed me." He started to turn away.

            "I might have." Kagome's words made him stop and turn towards her. "If you would have tried to tell me about Kouga, maybe I would have…"

            "I did try. You just weren't paying attention." Inuyasha looked down. "Come on, you can't walk back home, I've got the car." Kagome just stared at him for a few more moments before nodding her head.

            "Let's go home." Kagome agreed. "Inuyasha…"

            Yeah?" Inuyasha quirked an eyebrow.

            "Nothing." Kagome shook her head. She hadn't even known what she was about to say. What was there to tell?

-------------------------

            Kagura drove home, barely seeing where she was going. She wasn't thinking about Kikyo, but then, Kikyo had driven her own car to the pizza place as well. She was realizing how stupid she was.

            You were trying to tell me.

            Why didn't I listen to you?

            Do you hate me?

            Do you hate me?

            I was so stupid!

            I thought I…I thought we could be in love…I fell in love with you Kouga…

            But that's what you wanted, wasn't it?

            Why didn't I think about the past?

            Why didn't I put it all together?

            "I've got the best idea for a practical joke!" Kagura had bragged to the other two. "Wait till you hear!"

            Valentine's Day. That's what it was. I wanted a joke for the holiday and you were the one we played the jokes on. You were the one that made it funny. But that time…things were just different. We were all twelve.

            "What is it?" Kikyo asked, getting a thoughtful look, ready to make plans over this latest brainstorm.

            "Okay, I'm going to send Kouga a valentine and tell him I'm in love with him." Kagura giggled. "Then I'll tell him to meet me somewhere and just not show up!"

            "I don't know…" Inuyasha looked a little hesitant. "That's kind of fucked up."

            "Shut up, it'll be totally funny!" Kagura shook her head at the other two. "You guys'll see."

            And then I wrote it. It was a pretty valentine and I had written that I was secretly in love with Kouga and would he meet me behind the storage shed at eight? I left it under his pillow the day before. When he found it, I wasn't in the room but Kikyo was. She told me he seemed to believe it and had stuffed it under his pillow, grinning like an idiot.

            It would all work out and it would funny. Right?

---------------------------

            Kouga was desperately trying to catch up to Kagura. He had to catch her, he didn't understand this need. He had to do it. To show his victory. To laugh at her and her feelings. But for some reason, he wasn't thinking about that.

            This victory is hollow.

            I wonder if Kagura felt like that. That day when she left me in the rain?

            Dear Kouga,

                    I want you to know that I love you, I've been hiding it all along you see. I've had to. I want you to be my valentine. Will you please meet me behind the storage shed at eight o' clock on Valentine's Day?

                                 Love,

                                     Kagura

            He had stuffed the valentine under his pillow, grinning happily. Of course! Kagura had to be in love with him! It made sense! He had once heard that girls tease the boys they like. In that case, Kagura must really be in love with him!

            I thought I would have someone who loved me.

            Someone to hold onto.

            I guess I didn't really under the fact that it could be a trick or a joke.

            I had been so happy that someone could actually care about me that I didn't care if it wasn't real. I didn't question it.

            He left a note under Kagura's pillow telling her that he would wait for her behind the storage shed. He watched Kagura that day, during classes and while she was doing homework. She would look up and blush a little.

            I thought it was real.

            Kouga went out and made sure he was behind the storage shed at eight. And he waited.

            It began to rain and he hadn't thought about how the gray skies had been threatening it. The rain poured down on him and it was so cold during February. It was freezing and he just stood there, waiting, knowing that Kagura would be there soon.

            He checked his watch.

            It was nine o'clock. Where was she?

            Then he heard footsteps coming towards him from the other side of the shed. It was nine-thirty but that didn't matter to him because Kagura was in love with him. He didn't have to worry about anyone not caring about him. He didn't have to worry about being alone.

            Kagura and Kikyo were there, holding umbrellas, wrapped in warm coats. He looked from Kagura to Kikyo, confused.

            "You're actually still waiting?" Kagura gave her a disbelieving look and giggled maliciously. Kouga looked back and forth. What was going on?

            "I'm going back." Kikyo told Kagura. "I'm cold."

            "What? You're leaving?" Kagura turned towards Kikyo but Kikyo had already walked off.

            "Kagura, you came! I got your letter and…" Kouga trailed off as Kagura began to laugh. She just stood there and laughed horribly. And then he felt as though someone had stabbed him.

            "I can't believe you fell for it!" Kagura was practically doubled over with her umbrella, perfectly dry and warm. "What a loser!"

            "But…I thought…aren't…" Kouga realized that the whole thing had been a joke. A prank. She didn't love him. He was still alone. "I thought you were in love with me."

            "How could I ever love a loser like you?" Kagura asked him, not aware how painful the words were. How they were beginning to echo in his head.

            Loser like you…

            Love…

            How could I…

            How could I ever…

            A loser like you…

            "How could I ever love a loser like you?"

            It had been so painful. Kouga tried to cover his ears or do something that would block it all out. He broke into tears. Kagura found this reaction amusing as she continued to laugh at him. She just stood there laughing at him as they stood in the rain.

            "I can't believe you actually thought that…gods, Kouga, you are so stupid." Kagura was shaking her head as she laughed.

            Anger began to boil up inside of him. He hated her. He hated her for bringing his hopes up and then smashing them to the ground. He hated her and he wanted to make her hurt as badly as she was hurting him.

            "I'll get you back one day!"

            Kagura had stopped laughing, just for a moment and Kouga knew those words had hit home. She would remember those words. And one day, he vowed to himself, he would make sure they came true. No matter what he had to do. No matter what, he would make sure that she feel in love with him and then laugh in her face.

            She walked away laughing once more.

            Kouga stood out in the rain and cried for a little while more.

            He pulled up at her house and saw her rushing through the front door. He got out and ran up to the house, pulled open the door and ran up the stairs. He knew she was headed for her room. To take refuge in her room from the cruel deeds that were coming back to haunt her.

            Kouga went inside her room to find Kagura crying on her bed. She looked up, her eyes puffy and red.

            "You got me back."

            She had remembered those words. Even if she had just recalled them just now, he knew she was aware of his victory.

            "I fell in love with you." Kagura closed her eyes, tears rolling down. "But how could you ever fall in love with a loser like me?"

            "Shut up." Kouga told her. "Don't try to act like you couldn't see this coming. Did you really think I was so forgiving? What Kagura? Are you upset? How does it feel when someone hurts you like this?"

            I've gotten what I deserve for being selfish…

            Didn't I?

            "I…I'm sorry." Kagura hung her head. "You…gods, Kouga, I was a little kid…I didn't understand those things back then…"

            "You've never understood them Kagura! You can't understand what it's like to be alone! You've never had that before Kagura." Kouga accused her. "You've always had Kikyo!"

            "I know what it's like…" Kagura looked up at him, tears streaking down her face. "I know what it's like to have no one love you!"

            "Bullshit." Kouga told her. "No one that knows could have done that."

            "But…" Kagura tried to protest but she saw that intense, angry look in Kouga's bright blue eyes and knew she couldn't.

            But that didn't mean she didn't know what it was like to be alone.

            My parents…my real parents…they were always too busy for me. They were always leaving and I always tried everything to get their attention, for them to notice me, for them to love me…

            "Mother!" Kagura came bounding up to the woman who was too busy staring up into the eyes of Kagura's father. "Mother, come look at the painting I did!"

            "Kagura, can't you see I'm busy?" Her mother scolded her.

            "Your mother is busy, go play." Her father dismissed her.

            "But…but…" Kagura's lip stuck out. Today was her birthday. Had they forgotten? Had they forgotten all about it? "It's my birthday."

            "We're leaving on a trip today Kagura, we're trying to get ready." Her mother indicated the suitcases. They were leaving? On her birthday? Kagura looked down at her feet sadly. "Don't sulk. We got you a present."

            "You did?" Kagura looked up at them hopefully.

            "Your present." Her father practically shoved the stuffed teddy bear at Kagura. "Now go find something to do Kagura."

            Kagura hugged the teddy bear to herself happily. They had remembered to get her a present! She ran away, hoping that when they got back, they would see the picture she had painted of all three of them holding hands.

            But they never came back.

            They died in an accident.

            They never saw that painting of a little girl's wishful dream. Kagura had wept and refused to be separated from the last thing they had ever given her, her teddy bear.

            Later, the people took her to the Takahashi Home For Children where she had arrived, scared of the world. That's when they opened the door to her new room.

            "Kikyo?" The woman called into the room. A small, curious head peaked out from one of the top bunks. "Come meet your new roommate."

            Those gentle eyes…

            They were cool and distant but I knew…we would be the best of friends…that nothing would separate us.

            Maybe I took that for granted.

            "I said it was bullshit." Kouga grabbed her shoulders and jerked her upwards. "I don't want to hear you talk right now." And then he kissed her roughly. And Kagura let him kiss her.

            She let him almost savagely rip her clothes from her and then when they began to move together she just let it happen. He had her right there, right after he had torn out her heart. Kagura clung to him, wanting his forgiveness, wanting him.

            Why do I still want this when he made it clear that he doesn't love me?

            I know that it doesn't mean anything to him…

            But it means so much to me…

            And I'm letting him have it.

--------------------

            Kikyo had seen Kouga's stupid truck outside the mansion and she went upstairs, expecting to hear an argument, to see Kouga come storming passed. She heard noises and went to press her ear up against Kagura's door.

            "Please! Please!" Kagura begged loudly and passionately. Kikyo's eyes widened.

            No…it can't be…

            That's not possible…

            You…

            You still love him. You still want him even though he showed you how ugly his intentions actually were.

            Kikyo put her hands over her ears and ran away into her room, her door slamming shut behind her. She couldn't get further away from them. She ran into the huge walk in closet, desperate to get the hell away from it.

            "Why?" Kikyo looked up in the darkness.

            Nothing answered.

----------------

            He leaned into the steaming water as the soap was rinsed away from his body. He wanted to drown himself in that shower. He had been so horrible to Rin since the incident. He avoided her as much as possible.

            I have to…I can't do anything for her…I couldn't even save her…

            She'll see that I'm useless to her…that I couldn't do anything for her…

            He shut off the water. Sesshomaru stepped out of the shower. He stopped as he reached for a towel because he realized he wasn't alone. He wasn't the only one in that bathroom.

            Rin was in the room. Standing there with her eyes averted towards the floor and wearing her white bathrobe.

            "Rin…" Sesshomaru's voice caught in his throat. He realized he was completely naked in front of her but Rin wasn't saying anything at first. A few moments of silence went by.

            "I…I feel dirty…I wanted to take a shower." Rin explained in a small voice. "And you're so clean…untainted…I wanted to shower with you."

            "Rin, you aren't-" Sesshomaru began but Rin cut him off.

            "Yes I am." Rin shut her eyes and tried to force away the tears. "Yes I am."

            "Stop saying that! You aren't dirty and you aren't tainted." Sesshomaru told her seriously.

            "You won't come near me anymore because you're so disgusted with me, you won't talk to me unless you have to!" Rin began to shake with what could have could have been anger or grief.

            "Because I couldn't protect you." Sesshomaru countered. "Because you believed that I would save you and I couldn't."

            "I don't blame you though!" Rin rushed forward and hugged him. "I know you would have saved me if you possibly could have."

            "Rin." Sesshomaru's arms encircled her.

            "I need you to wash me." Rin whispered urgently. And she stepped back before untying her robe and letting it fall to the floor around her feet. He stared at her naked skin for a few moments.

            How could she possibly think she's anything but perfect?

            She's so beautiful and pure…

            His hand reached behind him and turned the water back on. When the water was the perfect temperature, he stepped into the shower, helping Rin to stand in there with him.

            With a gentle precision, he began to wash her. He washed her hair slowly, working the shampoo into her hair as her head was tilted back. Sesshomaru's hands helped rinse it out. Then he took the soap and began to move it around her whole body. At first he wasn't sure if he should but he touched her soft skin, his hands gliding over it.

            She thinks I'm clean.

            The thought bought him pain. He had never told her. He had never told her his deepest secret. He should have. Then she would know the truth and she wouldn't want him near her. She wouldn't want him washing her.

            His mother hadn't been home, she was out grocery shopping. My father, it was before he had died. My father had opened the door to his bedroom.

            "Come here Sesshomaru."

            I had been taught to obey and so I went into his bedroom. He had closed the door and then it had begun. The slow and painful process that he could remember so well. His father kept telling him how pretty he was, like a doll.

            How pretty…

            How pretty…

            And he had raped his own son. Sesshomaru had cried the whole time because he didn't understand it.

            "If you ever say one word to anyone about this, I'll kill you."

            And he hadn't spoken until that day; he had come to Rin's room door. She was crying. At that moment she looked like the purest and gentlest thing he had ever seen. He wanted nothing more then to hear her speak to him. To reach out and tell her it was okay.

            The water went cold so Sesshomaru shut it off and helped Rin dry off before tying her robe around her. Rin was staring at him with her large eyes and he knew he would have to tell her.

            His arms gently picked her up. She was light as a feather to him. He did not carry her to her own bedroom, but to his. He laid her down on his bed carefully and then lay down with her, the two curling up together. Just like they had done when they were younger.

            Sesshomaru told her. He spoke every word of it, something he had never dared speak of before. Something that had made him go silent for so long.

            And when it was over, Rin was still against him, she hadn't left him. She stayed there and comforted him, running his hand up and down his arms.

            "I love you." She told him. "I thought you hated me."

            "I thought you would hate me." Sesshomaru told her and then bending a little, he kissed her forehead. "I love you…" He whispered as the two fell asleep in each other's arms.

------------------------

            The two girls sat together at breakfast. Kikyo sipped her tea and Kagura was not eating at all. She just couldn't because she knew Kikyo knew what had happened last night. It was written all over the brown-eyed girl's face.

            Kagura opened her mouth and then closed it again. Perhaps it would be better if she didn't say anything.

            "I already know."

            That's what Kagura had suspected but Kikyo wasn't even looking at her which made her feel worse. She seemed so detached.

            "I…" Kagura tried to think of what to say.

            "Please, just choose." Kikyo looked up at her. "Just choose him Kagura."

            "I can't." Kagura grabbed a hold of Kikyo's hand. "I love you. Don't you understand that? I could never leave you. Ever. You never left me. You were always there."

            "I love you too." Kikyo told her. "But you can't keep this up. You have to choose."

            "I can't do that." Kagura shook her head. "Please…just, give me time. I can't choose."

            "You'll have to." Kikyo wished she could tell Kagura how much it hurt. But there weren't words for it. It was so painful to know that Kouga kept making love to Kagura. Maybe there was no way to tell Kagura but there was a way of showing her.

----------------------

            She hated this decision. No, maybe not hated but she was sad. She needed Kagura and maybe Kagura didn't realize that. Kagura just wouldn't listen and just kept sleeping with Kouga. And now Kikyo slept alone except for those occasions where Kagura would come creeping into her room to sleep in her bed. And then Kagura would remind Kikyo how much she loved her.

            But it hurt so much.

            She wouldn't learn if she didn't know.

            Kikyo adjusted the long sleeved shirt with its low neckline and made sure that her hair was smoothed into a ponytail before heading towards her goal.

            He was talking to some girl. He always had girls with him. Except at the lunch table and there he would make comments that bordered on obscene at Kagura, Kagome, and her. He noticed her walking towards him determinedly but went back to the girl he was talking to.

            "I need to talk to you." Kikyo told him importantly.

            "Eh, Keiko, look, I've got to talk to my friend now." Miroku gave the girl a charming smile. "I will call you."

            "Okay!" The girl bounced off and Miroku turned his attention to Kikyo.

            "Yes?" Miroku asked her. "Although I must take this opportunity to tell you how wonderful you look today. Kagura is most fortunate to have a lovely woman at her side."

            The mention of Kagura's name stung at Kikyo. It reminded her of her purpose.

            "Miroku, I would like…" Kikyo tried to think of a good way to explain this. "I would like you to take me out on Friday." Miroku's mouth fell open. This was Kikyo. The same girl who often told him she was going to do terrible things to his manhood if he so much as tried to lay a hand on me.

            Then he remembered what Inuyasha had told him. Kouga, Kagura, and Kikyo in some triangle. Kikyo was feeling rejected or who knew what. She wanted a distraction and she wanted to get back at Kagura, that's what he suspected.

            "Take you out?" Miroku raised his eyebrows at her. "You want me to take you on a date Kikyo?"

            "Yes." Kikyo nodded her head. "Will you?" Miroku saw that bitterness swirling in her brown eyes and knew that this was a revenge. Almost how every girl he slept with was a sort of revenge against her. Not that she would ever know.

            "If that's what you want." Miroku bowed his head towards her. Was he to deny her revenge? He knew how she felt.

            They both knew that the date was not exactly what she was asking for. Miroku knew that this might not solve Kikyo's problems but then, making women feel better, even temporarily was what he was about. Or was it really just him that wanted the distraction?

------------------------

            "You guys have the most fucked up relationship." Inuyasha shook his head as Kikyo told him all that she could. She felt she needed to confide in someone and Kagura was apparently not an option. "Ever."

            "Thank you for that expert opinion." Kikyo rolled her eyes. "I'm sure there are worse."

            "Dude, you're going to go off and revenge-screw because Kagura's sleeping with Kouga and still sleeping with you. Name one fucking situation that is that fucked up." Inuyasha dared her.

            "How about your sister and her relationship with her older adopted brother?" Kikyo countered. Inuyasha had told her all about Rin and Sesshomaru and what he suspected that older man was trying to corrupt his little sister with.

            "Fuck you." Inuyasha knew he didn't have a good comeback but it was the principle of the thing. "It isn't that fucked up. Rin isn't going to have sex with that guy."

            "Between you and what I've seen and heard of Sesshomaru, I don't think Rin will have sex with any guy." Kikyo stated.

            "Well, yeah, other then…" Inuyasha thought about how Rin was raped. That made him want to start breaking things. "Fuck, anyways, that's your plan?"

            "Yes it is." Kikyo sighed. "What about you? What's your plan for Kagome?"

            "What the fuck does that mean? Me and Kagome aren't fucking each other or other people." Inuyasha reminded her.

            "I can tell." Kikyo remarked dryly. "You might be amazed how obvious it is that you spend so much time with your hands."

            "Shit, don't spend so much fucking time with Kagura." Inuyasha grumbled. "You fucking start talking like her."

            "I'm pointing out the obvious." Kikyo wondered how Inuyasha had gone this long without any sense of eloquence.

            "That has nothing to do with Kagome." Inuyasha folded his arms. "I'm not Sesshomaru, I don't have some weirdass adopted sister complex."

            "Never mind." Kikyo shook her head. "There's really not a point trying to explain it to you."

            "I guess not." Inuyasha was totally confused now. He was glad school was over; he just wanted to go home. Kagome was waiting for him at the car so he said good-bye to Kikyo and got in with her.

            "Is something wrong?" Kagome glanced at him curiously.

            "No." Inuyasha tried to stare out the window sulkily.

            "You just looked a little…you know…pissed off." Kagome shrugged.

            "Fucking Kikyo." Inuyasha muttered.

            "What?" Kagome blinked. "You're what?"

            "No, fuck!" Inuyasha wished everybody would stop doing this to him. "She was just fucking, you know what? It's fucking stupid because she's being fucking stupid about everything."

            "Really? Kikyo?" Kagome was really starting to become confused.

            "Yeah, it's all that fucking triangle they've got going on." Inuyasha shook his head. "Then she starts saying shit about you and me."

            "You and me?" Kagome turned the wheel to the right.

            "She thinks, I don't know, she thinks we're fucking." He caught the look on Kagome's face. "I told her I wasn't Sesshomaru."

            "Hehehe, I don't think Sesshomaru and Rin are sleeping together." Kagome giggled. "Though I can see what you're saying. Why would Kikyo say that?"

            "I don't know." Inuyasha didn't even try to understand the pale-girl's logic in that one. "I have no fucking clue."

-------------------

            She hadn't told Kagura where she was going as she walked out the door. Kagura had called out the question and Kikyo didn't bother answering. Had Kagura ever answered her when she began trying to question her?

            Miroku was waiting outside for her. He gave her a flower, something she suspected he did for every female that went on a date with him. He treated her to dinner. It was nice as he made pleasant general conversation, making Kikyo feel slightly less on edge about the evening. He kept trying to make her laugh.

            He knows…good, I won't have to tell him.

            Kikyo got back into the car with him after dinner and he asked her what she wanted to do next. It was a loaded question and she knew it. So she came up with an answer that was also loaded.

            "I'd like to see your house." Kikyo told him.

            Miroku had grinned because Kikyo had answered so perfectly. Had Kikyo not been in love with someone else and Miroku not been slapped in the face with his own emotions by the only woman he had ever loved, he wondered if they would have been a couple. She would have been interesting at the least. And they were friends.

            Kikyo walked around his apartment, not his house where he lived with his father. His father was gone for the evening and they had the whole place to themselves. Kikyo had sat down on Miroku's bed after he had shown it to her. He asked her if she wanted some wine, probably as a favor to her.

            She accepted a glass of it. She drank only a little of it, Miroku's hand on her back. Kikyo set the glass on his bedside table; that was the signal that she was ready. He moved forward and kissed her then moved backwards, just to make sure he was getting her approval.

            She locked her arms around him and he kissed her again. It was wrong to her but she pushed that guilt out of her mind. That's what Kagura did, wasn't it? Forgot all about her. Miroku went slowly and carefully, at one point, as he had just pulled her shirt off, he leaned down and whispered in her ear.

            "I know this is about her. Don't worry."

            Kikyo was glad he fully understood without her having to explain. He knew as much as she did that this did not matter.

            When it was all finished, Miroku fell on top of her. He kissed her forehead and then rolled off her. He told her that she could sleep there if she wanted and that he would sleep on the couch if that made her more comfortable. Kikyo told him he could stay. He turned out the lights and the two fell asleep.

            They both were sleeping peacefully, completely naked, wrapped up in blankets and sheets. They didn't know what was going to happen that morning.

            The door was flung open and they both sat up hurriedly. Miroku rubbing his eyes and stretching a little while Kikyo made sure she was covered up. She looked up to see a girl standing there, the same age as Kikyo she would say.

            Her hair was black and pulled back into a ponytail. She also had beautiful dark pink eyes. She had a horrified and shocked expression on her face.

            "Who…?" She didn't look like she was comprehending the situation that well. Kikyo wondered impatiently if she was some date that Miroku had made without thinking about how the two might overlap.

            "No…" Miroku knew her. Kikyo could read it on his face. She looked from him to the girl. "It can't be…"

            "Miroku…I…" She tried to form words but they seemed to be getting stuck in her throat.

            Who is she?

            Unless…

            "There's three ways to drown your sorrows…"

            Is this…?

            "I think I'll leave." Kikyo went for her clothes quickly, not wanting to get in the way of whatever this was. Some sort of reunion but not what she would call a happy one.

            "Did you…?" The girl still looked hurt. "How could you Miroku?"

            "What are you doing here?" Miroku asked her in a hard voice, something Kikyo wasn't used to hearing from the jovial violet-eyed man. "What are you doing here Sango?"

--------------------------

            CLIFFHANGER!

            What? It's true. That's all there is for right now. Urgh. I'm sorry this took so long but my life has been kind of a wrecked train. (If you're sincerely that curious, it's all in my online journal on my profile.)

            Okay, so yeah, when I said things were going to get more complicated, I totally meant it. And just wait, more of it's on its way. Like I said, your guys' reviews were great. So yeah, here are some more random notes:

            The scene where Rin gets raped, right before that she reflects about the "weird love polygon" the main actors were caught up in when she thinks of the play—A reference to Teresa's 'Center Stage', a must read. Especially if all this angst is your thing.

            In that one scene with Rin and Kagome talking, yes, I know that CCS' ending wasn't exactly all that much better then Escaflowne's. At least, happiness wise.

            The albums that Inuyasha is talking about, 'Smash' and 'Splinter' are both Offspring cds. Splinter is their brand new one and kicks so much ass! For some reason every time I hear "Hit That" I think of Kouga and Kagura. And "Lightening Rod" totally is about Kagura. I don't care what anybody says.

            I'm glad we could get more of the pasts out there. I think we got everybody but Miroku but it's like five seconds away from explaining that one to everyone. I'm sure most of you can gather what's going on with those two, or at least make a pretty good guess. Yes, I'm sure you can see why we don't even need Naraku to cause problems, there's already three thousand! And what's up with the Kagura/Kouga/Kikyo triangle? I promise that it'll be quite interesting when it all works out. As for Inuyasha and Kagome, whom many of you inquired about…well, you'll see.

Bye! Please review!