Azure Part II: In My Pain

"Sometimes, transformation takes in a long and silent way. It take all the will to love one we did not expect to nor would we be able to appreciate what we are in until we experience it fully."

It was a wonder to me why Amon did that thing…Maybe I was too surprised to see a man cry. Correct me, but men never cry or again I may have thought so. It was so heart breaking for me to see him let that line of tear fall down his cheek.

He was not experiencing my fate.

I wish I did not fall into unconsciousness so I could have wiped off that tear. I may look so transfixed to him but well, he was important to me more than I thought I should have.

"Amon," I called after reviving at the headquarters. Amon just looked at me, still silent. I do not know if he was aware that I saw him do that. But I know he is silent, thinking about the night he shot me with Orbo. He may be thinking about what would he do, now that he knows that I do not have total control over my own powers. I really envy Karasuma-san and her scrying ability. I wanted to know what people thought about me.

Sighing, I glanced at Amon again and so he began to speak, "Robin, you now know that this time on, it is dangerous. You must act with the strength to grasp that truth that Solomon may attack anytime with any possible means. Not only by hunting you…"

I swallowed and inhaled sharply, letting that realization from Amon sink in me. I did not know if I was afraid or was I just confused beyond what I expect. So I just settled for a simple and short reply, "I would face them."

It really took most of my courage to say that simple phrase…it was not easy to do anyway.

I was walking along the mezzanine of the headquarters an hour later, when I crossed paths with Amon. He gave me a gesture to follow him inside an empty room. The room was dark due to the blinds, somewhat cooperating as added effect to Amon's disdraught face. Really, if you've seen him, all you would be able to say is that he's a ghost minus the transparency.

"Amon?" I began; he in turn looked at me.

"Robin, you know what I mean—"

"By shooting me with Orbo?"

"Yes."

"Yes. You know that I would not do it if possible."

"I understand, Amon, because you have said to me before that you would watch after me if only to prevent me from using the full extent of my craft."

There was a languid silence between Amon and me. I looked at him again; I saw his eyes flicker for an instant and disappeared again. I did not perceive what it meant.  

I looked at him, what do you mean?

At that instant, Amon answered my question. He went near to me and reached out his palm to my face. I guess he saw my face with, maybe, an unexplainable look.

The gaze I saw was different—similar to the heartbreaking look he gave me when that single tear fell…

His dark eyes were filled with a fierce, and yet a sad emotion. It was a powerful look that he struck me aghast, making my tears fall so silently, freely crossing this warm palm on my cheek. He removed these tears from my eyes.

"Robin," he said, in an almost calm and gentle voice, "I do not know your destiny…I do not know how I have come this far with you…and I----"

He stopped short, his face suddenly filled with such pain. What came next was something I did not expect. He pulled me to a tight embrace. It was so much a contact for me. I felt timid and apprehensive, as we remained bound to each other. I do not know how to describe what I felt during those times…I just felt this lingering sadness and doubt all over me; I do not know which.

"I just feel you won't die…"

I dropped slowly to my knees and sobbed, sobbed and sobbed. To cry my heart out was like releasing a dam of emotions I have denied of myself… Oh I must be pitiful back then because even Michael who suddenly entered let loose a tear and hid it!

"Excuse me." Michael seemed so embarrassed to see Amon and me in such an intimate situation and wanted to apologize for it so badly. However, I insisted that he remain inside.

Amon gave me a dark gray-colored handkerchief for me to wipe my tears away. After a minute or so, I was finally able to talk.

"Ne, Michael-kun, what have you come for?"

"News. I thought I should leave it because of your state…"

"No, I insist that you tell us."

"See, STN headquarters are contacting us… they are sending some kind of cryptic message actually…" He looked at me again, unsure if he should continue, but I nodded him to go on, "They have sent a file…filled with symbols…very creepy if you ask me and they also sent a message, the regular one—your next hunter I suppose."

"And what about him?" Amon asked beside me, business as usual.

Michael gave another anxious glance at Amon and said, "It's a she…She looks similar to Robin…only with black hair and something is wrong about her…she deflects mere attacks of orbo, and even larger doses of it. She is immune to it."

It was an hour after I have taken a look at the cryptic message…Indeed it was cryptic for only a small segment of is reasonable to me. I am able to read talismans, runes but this was new…the only thing I was able to understand from the ancient and alien symbol was 'Testament'. What ever it was, I did not know.

Karasuma looked at me though as was expecting me to faint. I just gave a shrug and a long sigh. Everybody did not dare to talk and break the serious mood we had. Finally Sakaki gave a whimper and stood from his chair.

"Ne, everybody's silent! Would anybody mind if I leave and go to the loo?"

Nobody responded so I gave a small nod for him to go. He went out of the main quarter and quickly turned left. After he left, there was still a long pause before something happened.

The ear-splitting sound of alarms set off, creating a sudden commotion in all of us. Michael suddenly began to mutter profanity as he told everyone to get ready.

"Everyone! Get ready anytime, there are intruders! I can't believe it! They managed to disable our security systems!"

"What?" I heard Doujima yelping frantically, as she rummaged through her desk, apparently looking for something. That moment, Sakaki entered the quarters, panting as he spoke hoarsely as if he saw a ghost.

"T-the STN! T-they a-are entering the premises!"

"What do they look like?"

"They look like a swat team. Many of them!"

I turned anxiously and went to Michael's side, "Can you do something so we would know where they are?"

"Yes, I may, but it will take time. I have to reset all computer controls."

"Move it. Everyone, we spread. Pairs, so we may cover larger ground." Amon commanded and everybody moved. Well, except Doujima, who had to shuffle for her gun underneath a pile of magazines.

After everybody cleared, Amon and I moved next, deciding to take the lower-left extension of the building. Two minutes of running around, we accomplished to situate ourselves between numerous armed men, all ferociously pointing their guns at us.

I felt terrified to be surrounded and had no way out. I waited for any suggestions Amon would give me, 'push them all back all at the same time'.

He gave me a queue and I did so. Amon began shooting his gun and I hitting two or three men at the same time. I felt happy that Amon and I were working at the same time without those scolding me about hitting properly. We successfully finished them off and I was about to rejoice when Amon shouted.

"Robin! Behind you!" I turned to face what Amon was screaming about, and I saw a woman before me. Without warning, I heard Amon shooting at her, but every bullet seemed to stop midway and burst into flame.

The terrible cold began to seep again, like sharp talons breaking my bones. It felt so intense, I felt as if something was stirring in my chest and my head echoed laughter. The laughter was full of evil, silent, hollow, distant but very wretched and cold. The laughter was like an evil and dark hole, sucking, sucking you away. I felt horrible, my body kept shaking and my knees weakened; I fell to the ground. No, I miserably thought, I was failing again!

My vision was very blurry and the shaking I felt did not make it better. I grabbed for my glasses and tried to focus properly, but no avail. The laugher was slowly filling my head.

"ROBIN!"

Was it Amon calling? Is he there?

"ROBIN!"

Amon?

Are you there?

Will you help me?

"Amon…" I gasped as I pulled myself together after feeling a sharp blow on my shoulder. It felt sore after I regained awareness of what was happening around me.

It took me a few seconds to register in my mind that I am in the middle of a fight with a woman I had no idea what she could do.

"Hello," She spoke to me in a rather, soft tone. I did not trust her by the way she spoke.

"Who are you?" I demanded; this was not me though I had to hide that I was afraid…

"You will know…" she replied to me, and afterwards spoke in a soft incantation. Soon enough, she was attacking me with her own brand of flames. It was blue, it seemed odd because whenever I got lashed, I felt intense cold. Her flames were different from the usual ones that scorch you and burn your skin.

"STOP IT!" The booming voice of our chief came from behind. It was a strong command to stop, including me.

She stood in front of me aghast, surprised from the voice. She stood there gazing as though she have seen a large ghost.

"Enough, Aoshijou.."

"Chief?" I asked. So our chief knew her. Why did she attack me and the others? I stood silently and watched them as they conversed.

"Chief, I-I apologize. I thought…"

"Stop your assumptions lady. Robin Sena is Japanese though she sounds like a foreigner speaking fluently."

"Gomen, Chief. I was carried away…."

The chief looked at me like he was examining a shrewed piece of rubble in the headquarters hall. "You are not hurt?"

"No," I replied, "I am just cold and may some small gashes and bruises. Amon is." I pointed at my side. Amon was there at about five meters away, getting thrown back previously. The new woman stood in front of me. Still, I was wary, I did not know what kind of intruder she may be. I did not even let my defences down. I made sure that I had my self prepared in case she attacked me again.

She did not however and silently obeyed Chief's retreating footsteps to his office. He stopped a little and looked at one corner where a hidden camera was there and spoke clearly, "Lee, Take charge of those who are hurt. Contact the medics immediately. And you, Aoshijou, we will talk. Robin, return to the office and help the others."

"Kachou, who were those men with her?"

"They are STN-sent. They are not related to our new recruit."

I glumly walked near Amon and found him glaring madly at the passage of the woman named Aoshijou. He still clutched his left arm, apparently bleeding from a missed bullet. Nothing bad actually, he could still use his right arm I suppose. I just knew how much disdain he emanated for her. I felt quite a pity since I knew what it felt like not being liked, especially by Amon.

"Are you alright?" I inquired, I made him move out of his thinking. I softly told him, "I do not like her. She plays with my head."

"So did I. I saw…nevermind." Whatever that was, I never knew. Just the same way he was, never telling anything. I shrugged off the idea and helped him up and head for the main quarters.

Michael came near us immediately, quickly searching for a medical kit. A few seconds later, he put into my hands a large medical kit. I looked at Amon and he stripped his coat and then unbuttoned his black shirt…I…I just, well, looked down and avoided looking at him for some reason.

I sat beside him on another stool, took a bottle of strong antiseptic, a roll of sterile bandages and a lump of cotton. I began slopping all those antiseptic on the cotton willing myself not to look anywhere but Amon's bleeding wound. I was carefully removing a minute piece of debris on his skin when Michael called my attention, causing me to pinch some part of the wound.

Amon winced and gave me a glare more of a look willing to stab me like his profusely bleeding lesion. "Ne, Michael-kun what is it?"

"Those guys were STN. Probably a warning attack. They know we could finish them off; they'll return like a blink with another one."

"You saw us, Lee? Have an idea who that woman was?" Amon dropped a question with obvious digust.

"Yes and yes. Heck, bad news to holler. She was the STN sent-blah blah."

"The chief and she are like buddy-buddy," Doujima entered the room. She was in her 'information gathering mode' as she puts it; rather eavesdropping. She went beside me and put a face between Amon's arm and my hand.

"That is bad, we are hiring people we are against. Ne, use some more antiseptic. And wrap that immediately."

"Okay." I looked at her and I saw a big, big cracked genius smile. Okay, I know, I don't get how they associate smiles like that to nerds. I didn't even mean what it meant so, Robin, put yourself out of it.

I smiled as I finished wrapping the bandage. I wasn't sure if it was alright, so I asked Amon and he replied with a nod. When I did, I passed my eyes over his shoulder to his face.

"Is the bandage tight enough?" He gave me a gaze and took a little more time before responding a curt yes. I cut the remaining bandages and began packing the supplies. I realized that the bottle of antiseptic was missing. I found it in Amon's hand, he was intently reading the label. I tapped his shoulder slightly and he looked up, not realizing I was asking for the bottle.

It was a curious way that I found him off guard. I smiled my little smile, "Don't worry, that is a small injury. It will heal fine…"

"Thank you." He held my hand before putting the brown bottle in my hand.

Amon?

Is that you, thanking me with that sweet, silent and yet bitter voice?

I heard the strong beat of my heart and a sudden euphoria that Amon did treat me nicely. It was somehow overdone that I am now, flushed…Why did the father create such thing as a 'blush'? I hated it, it was a thing for delighted little kids with ice-creams and peppermint chocolates to hide. I did not like it because it was a sin for me.

The chief went inside with Aoshijou and followed a rather beautiful boy. Forgive me, but it was the only description I could give to him that moment. I glanced and saw that he was a shy one, probably seventeen with all that cinnamon locks of hair on his forehead. He was bright in contrast to Aoshijou's dull iron-straight hair. He formally introduced them to us, Aoshijou Kamema and Reiji. Two STN to anti-STN people….

They were new recruits and it happened that STN also included them in their hitlist. The reason why, was never revealed…In my own rude opinion, they were so ironic to be seen together. They did not have even the slightest semblance or maybe there was another unrevealed information on them. Michael cast a wary look on them, so did we and the others. However, chief just scoffed our rudeness.

"Hajimashite," they politely said but tension was still there. She turned to me and apologized, with a low bow, and returned to join her brother.

That night, Amon asked if we could pass by Harry's. I agreed because I have not prepared any dinner and it would be good to get some food. It was a wonder when Amon began, "…I do not trust them."

I just replied softly to him, "Neither do I. I know it is bad to judge them but we have to see…." I chocked at my last few words, Amon did judge me. It rang in my ears eerily and with painful contempt in my memories; how pained I was.

"The chief has his reasons. We will wait. I'd stay on guard if I were you, Robin."

"I do…"

He took me to my apartment and stopped dead infront of me, obstructing my entrance. And in a hushed voice, full of those bitter feelings he had said with a great effort a short and simple phrase, "I am sorry."

I said the past is past. I lifted his hand and intertwined my fingers with his, such my expression I would not dare do…

"Maybe…maybe we reap a subtle fruit filled with our fragile selves. Fill it, release it and learn from it…"

Those words….Padre, your words work for me and it will work for Amon.…I do use it now. I do not want to lose anyone in life anymore because I cared less.

[part II finish.]

Author's notes: First of all, I apologize for the very length of time it took me to upload this chapter. It was a tough decision on how to write it ^_^;;; any way, I did receive those beautiful comments from people who have read the first part. I hope this long read did not bore you to death. There was too much I wanted to put in and I just had to take on it easily….so there, we see Robin, finally transforming Amon in a slow way, and she would be finally be able to reach to him. How is now the question…..and I also stand to correct my declaration of a 2-part fic now, it would suddenly grow longer than I think it would be…. So please patiently read this fic of mine. Reviews would be greatly appreciated :D