AN: Am absolutely flattered with the response to the last chapter…. Eighteen reviews in a night?!?  Anyway, have decided to make the most of this and update as have nothing better to do and/or my sole friend isn't replying to my texts….sob…..(ahem, well my closest friend anyway, you know who you are!!!)

Dedicated to- Le Pamplemousse- GRAPEFRUIT!

Disclaimer: I have to go to school, JK is about 30, and I get the feeling she wasn't held back 16 years!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ron's Diary

Diary…

Oh my undying love for Quiddich/Hermione/Harry/Trewlany/Pumpkin pastrys grows stronger day by day!  Oh how I want to play/kiss/eat them….

Harry has just told me about the impending danger of Neville/Hagrid/Harry's Aunt/A pumpkin pastry being brainwashed/eaten by Lord Voldemort!  Hermione has gone to the library/toilet to do some research, but I fear she is meeting Harry/Malfoy/Victor/Umbridge/Scabbers/the Whomping Willow Tree! Help!

Diary….

Oh my…. Cho/Ginny/Malfoy/Hagrid/a pumpkin pastry just kissed/ate me….but what do I do about my undying love for Quiddich/Hermione/Harry/Trewlany???

Also, today when I went to potions/the toilet/the Whomping Willow tree I saw them/Snape in women's clothing/Lord Voldemort/Harry being subconsciously trodden on and I didn't know how to act!  Harry keeps muttering about Cho/Dumbledore/Hermione/Neville stalking him!  Don't know what that is about!?

Diary…..

Just saw Harry/McGonagall/Snape go into a cupboard with Hermione/Cho/Hagrid/Dumbledore/a grapefruit/a pumpkin pastry but I don't think they know that I saw them/followed them in/went to the toilet!  Who should I tell?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Malfoy's Diary

Diary….

Oh I must confess; I love Pansy/Hermione/Snape/Crabbe/Goyle/Lord Voldemort/My little toe…all I want to do is hug/kiss/put nail varnish on them…yet separating them from their friends seems impossible without cornering them/worshipping them/putting on a toe separator!

Also, have joined the young death eaters club/incest united/the hair gel lovers group/my butt to a chair and spent most of this morning in the owlery/toilet because I had to send a letter/ate some dodgy Shepard's pie last night/kissed Snape….

Diary….

Something very funny just happened… Crabbe/Harry/Hagrid/a pumpkin pastry was just kissed/subconsciously trodden on/eaten by Hermione/Pansy/Umbridge/Ron's pet rat!  I laughed so hard my head/spoon/nose/little toe nearly bent/exploded/sprayed snot on Goyle!  I love being in Slytherin/me/going to the toilet/incest. It's SO much fun!

Diary…

Urg, just had Care of Magical Creatures/a bogie explosion/a brainwave/a gone-off pumpkin pastry!  I suddenly realise my hatred for Harry/Hagrid/noses/muggles/pumpkin/transvestites, though I still adore Pansy/Hermione/Snape/Crabbe/Goyle/Lord Voldemort/My little toe and love the dark side/snakes/hair gel/playing with my 'wand'.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That's about all for today I'm afraid!  If the reviews are good I'll do Ginny's…any other requests/things you want to appear???

Thanks to:

Sweet775

La Pamplemousse- You have possibly the greatest penname in this entire fandom; am in awe.

Privateye13

Slytheringirl560

Melody

Daintress

Squirrelbladder-interesting name!!! :oP

HPROXMYSOX- what the hell does ROFLMAO mean??? Rolling on floor laughing my arse off is my guess!  :o)

Wallie- :o)

Iminapie- kumquats….quite

Teddi

SuperStar7286

Glauificus

Evil Karma and one hundred evil biting aids ridden monkeys to:

Linda- can you?

Ahem, anyway, THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!  You guys rule! 

Love The (very happy) Social Leper