I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
--Linkin Park, 'Somewhere I Belong'
Lucius Malfoy started as he heard a soft thump from the vicinity of the window. Looking up from the book he had been reading curled up in his favourite chair, he saw the familiar owl that he knew belonged to his friend.
"Hello, Mephistopholes. What have you got for me today?" he murmured softly as he took the letter from the bird's leg. He scanned its contents quickly, then sank back into his chair, his hand over his mouth.
"Narcissa!" he called, ignoring the impatient sounds coming from Mephistopholes.
"What?!" came the call from downstairs. "I'm this close to catching that damn mouse in the drawing room!"
"This is more important that that bloody mouse!"
"It's not a bloody mouse yet, but it will be when I catch the little bugger…" muttered Narcissa as she came in, absently swinging a piece of firewood in one hand. "What's so important, anyway?"
He handed her the letter that Mephistopholes had brought. She read it carefully, then looked at him wordlessly.
"What are we going to do?" she asked softly.
"What can we do? You know as well as I do that he's been planning this for years. If there was any chance that he was going to reconsider, he'd have done it by now."
"Yeah…But we can't just say 'Okay Severus, nice knowing you!'"
"Well…there's nothing else we can say."
Narcissa sighed softly, resting her head on her husband's shoulder. "But we can't just let him…you know. Not like that, all alone."
Lucius wrapped his arms around his wife's shoulders, pulling her close. "I know. But…he knows how we feel. In the end it's up to him…"
"Where is that bloody owl?! It doesn't take this long to get to bloody Wiltshire and back…" Severus muttered, pacing up and down his study. Then he heard a flutter of wings and a soft hoot from the windowsill. "About time you got back!" he snapped, going over to the owl. "And what's this…?" he added, noticing the letter bound to the bird's leg. He removed the parchment and gave Mephistopholes an Owl Treat from the jar on his desk. The owl hooted gratefully and flew away, presumably to go to sleep in the Owlery. Snape sat down behind his desk and opened the letter.
19th July 2012
Dear Severus,
We knew that the day would come eventually, but it's a shock to realize that it's so close. We know what you're planning, and we are painfully aware that there is no way to talk you out of it. However, you are our greatest friend and confidante, and it would mean so much to us if you would allow us to be with you when you take your final journey.
We cannot force you not to do this, but we want you to remember that we love you very much, and will always be there if you need us for anything.
With love,
Lucius and Narcissa.
Snape sat back in his chair, tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling. He felt a twinge of guilt in his belly that he would soon be leaving the two best friends he'd ever had. They had always been so good to him, picking him up off the ground after Potter and his stupid friends had hexed him and walked away laughing.
'I wouldn't even be in this situation if it weren't for those arrogant little bastards…' he thought, the familiar rage awakening again. It had been twenty years, but he still hated Potter and the rest of them, could still hear their taunts as if it were yesterday. But still…Lucius and Narcissa had stood up for him, made him feel like a person instead of just everybody's whipping-boy. He knew deep in his heart that he would never forget that…
