AN- Right, no idea how this will turn out.  Just decided to write up the next chapter and have no plan.  It could be interesting!

Disclaimer- Me no Jk kaput.  Oui.

~*~

~In a room in Hogwarts that no one knew was there before and just miraculously appeared fully equipped for this chapter, a class is assembling~

Snape- Hello pupils.  I am the teacher of this new class as it means the plot can be thickened by my occasional romps with an unusual character.

McGonagall- Yes, and I'm here too.  *waves*

Reader- Yawn, get on with it.

Snape- Ok ok.  So, this class is new to the Hogwarts curriculum.  It is called…..*dramatic silence* ……. Slash and Ships 101!

Reader- *raises eyebrow in comical fashion*

McGonagall- Yes, so in case you haven't already twigged, this class has been purposely pre-planned so that ….. *another dramatic pause* THE AUTHOR …….. can pair you all up in whatever way she wants.

Hermione- *Has minor hernia waving hand in air trying to get attention.  This isn't pretty as involves quite a bit of straining*
Snape- What is it Miss Granger…!?

Hermione- *speaks like a stereotypical English public school girl.  This annoys all females who actually go to English public schools and do not speak like they have a dried pea wedged up one nostril*  I for one do not see how this monstrosity of an excuse for a class fits in with our R.A.N.D.O.M. B.I.R.D. timetable.  I want to stage a protest.  *looks all-knowing*

Snape- *using the 'ignore' function of his oh-so-evil brain*  So, now for the pair up.  I want each of you to find a partner….or more if you like it like that….and go 'amuse yourselves' *further eyebrow wiggling action* as you find necessary.  Homosexuality and lesbianism is welcomed.  Go forth….

~At this point the author goes crazy with manic shipping and slashing.  It is all completely unrealistic and somewhat disgusting.  The readers love it~

Snape- *having to yell above the love calls of not only Wizards but the entire crop of Hagrid's vegetable patch and Snape boggart (whom real Snape is being molested by) to name just a few*  Ah, one thing I so nicely forgot to tell you…. In the wizarding kingdom, it isn't just the female humans that can give birth…….*haunting look*……EVERYONE can!!!!  Bwahahahahaaaaa.

Class- *looks at one another*.  …Shit…..

~9 months to the day later~

Madam Pomfrey- Ah…

~Babies overrun Hogwarts.  The halls are lined with sick and other unidentified-faeces-like-objects.~

Dumbledore- I think we should start a Hogwarts pre-school! 
~The logistics of this seem not to bother the author.  It's all for the best.~

*cue pleasant music*

Voiceover- So welcome to Hogwarts pre-school and it's another day in the playground!  Over by the sand pit, little Longbottom-Granger is playing with the bucket and spade whilst Snape-Zabini jnr. throws sand at him.  Over by the swing, young Granger-Chang-Mary-Sue is the object of everyone's affections, especially the 'King of the playground': Potter-Weasley.  Malfoy-Crabbe-Goyle-Snape-And-Any-Other-Evil-People-In-The-Vicinity is bullying Hagrid-Skrewt, Peeves-Nearly-Headless-Nick-Moaning-Myrtle and Pumpkin-Beetroot-Malfoy-Junior-Malfoy-Senior-Skunk.  It's a magical place, non?

Reader-I'm confused

Author- Me too, me too.  *runs off for a glass of water to sooth aching head*

~*~

AN- RIGHT- have notaclue where THAT came from.  *is worried*

Here be thanks:

Citcat299

MoonGoddess25

Glauificus- oooh please do forward the chapter!  If there's one thing I love (apart from Crunchy Nut Cornflakes of course) its perverted/mangled/Rambaldifyed parodies!  Why else would I write them?

SecretDestiny13

La Pamplemousse

Run and hide

LesMisLoony

Laterose- *waves*

Claire Rickman Snape

Merci buckets.  XD