Out of sight, out of mind

Out of time to decide

Do we run?

Should I hide?

For the rest of my life

--t.A.T.u, '30 Minutes'

Later that night, Severus Snape lay in his bed and dreamed. He dreamed of a time long ago, when he was young, before his mother's death and his father's disappearance. He was back at his family's old house, before Gringotts had foreclosed on it since his father had been unable to pay off the latest in long series of mortgages. He was sitting in his customary dark corner reading a book on poisons, trying hard to ignore the distant sounds of shouting and crying. His parents were fighting again. Lately it seemed that they always shouted at each other – sometimes about his mother's drinking, but usually about him. Severus was painfully aware that his father thought of him as nothing but a burden, another mouth to feed when he could barely feed himself and his wife. Severus's insides burned with anger. Was it his fault he was headed for Hogwarts next month? Was it his fault he needed all those expensive books and things? He was sure of one thing, though – he would do well, if for no other reason, then simply to prove his father wrong. He was going to prove that he wasn't simply a nuisance and a burden, that he could be so much more than his arrogant, bullying, snobbish pig of a father. Suddenly, his father's face loomed before him. "You think you can be better than me, boy?! Take this!" The fist heading for his face was the last Severus saw of his dream before he woke with a start, his body drenched in sweat.

He lay back, waiting for his breathing to return to normal. Lately it seemed that he had been dreaming of his family more often than was usual, and he didn't like it. Having spent most of his adult life trying hard to distance himself from his family, the last thing he needed was to have them invading his dreams. He decided that some chemical assistance was needed for this situation – going over to the cabinet on the other side of the room, he got out a bottle of Firewhiskey and poured himself two fingers in a glass. He got back into bed, nursing the glass as if it were filled with holy water. It was times like this that he relished the thought of his upcoming birthday. The very idea of not having to put up with anything anymore filled him with a warmth that had nothing to do with alcohol and everything to do with eternal, everlasting peace and quiet. Just think, he thought drowsily, no more obnoxious first years, nobody demanding that I make them some potion or other right this minute because they're too damn lazy and/or  incompetent to do it themselves, no more nightmares, no more remembering…Feeling sleep heading his way again, Snape yawned, put his glass down on the bedside table, and lay back, pulling the covers over his shoulders and snuggling into his bed. His eyes drifted shut, and he dreamed again…

This time, he was back at Hogwarts during his school years, poring over a large, ancient book in the library. Suddenly, there was a thump as someone dumped their heavy bag on his table.

"God, I thought that detention would never end! I really don't think I deserved three hours with McGonagall – all I did was drop a bag of tarantulas, for crying out loud!"

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Narcissa had never really grasped the concept that performing her own brand of hell-raising during Transfiguration, in front of the strictest teacher in the school, was not a particularly good idea.

"So, what did she make you do?" he asked her, more out of a sense of duty than any real interest.

"Catch all the tarantulas, and write out I must behave myself during lessons 200 times."

"I don't know why they make you keep writing that, it never sinks in. And anyway, you like catching spiders. How is that a punishment?"

"Meh. At least I know where to go next time I want spiders to drop down Potter's back." she said, grinning happily.

With that, Severus decided to change the subject. "Where's Lucius?"

"Buggered if I know. Whatcha reading, anyway?"

"I'm reading about Nicolas Flamel for History of Magic."

"What's a Nicolas Flamel?"

"Oh, honestly, Narcissa, don't you read?" he rolled his eyes at her, earning himself a punch in the arm.

"Of course I read, stupid, just not about History of Magic. It's so boring." Narcissa wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"Well anyway, Nicolas Flamel was an alchemist. He was supposed to have created the Philosopher's Stone."

"Ohh, you mean that thing with the stuff."

"…Yes. It turns metal into gold."

"You shot who with a what now?" Lucius had turned up, a red handmark evident across his cheek.

"Ooh, nice bruise, Lulu. Who gave you that, Lily Evans again?" asked Narcissa, grinning cheekily. Lucius stuck his tongue out at her and sat down next to Severus, resting his head on the other boy's shoulder.

"About time you turned up. Where've you been?"

"Don't make me explain, Severus, it may open me up to criminal prosecution. What are we talking about?"

Severus decided to take the hint and not ask. "We're talking about Nicolas Flamel and the Philosopher's Stone."

"You mean that thing that makes you immortal?"

Narcissa suddenly looked up. "What?! You didn't say anything about immortality!"

"I see that interests you, Miss Black?" Severus remarked, raising an eyebrow.

"Aren't you interested?! All the gold you could want, and immortality to boot! Joy!" she exclaimed, bouncing in her seat.

"Mmm…gold…" Lucius said from where he was dozing on Severus shoulder. Severus gave him a discreet push, and he slumped onto the table, his long hair falling across his shoulders.

"Well, to be honest, Narcissa, eternal life sounds like eternal hell to me. Think about it – forever trapped by yourself, alone with your memories and broken dreams…"

"Severus, I know I say this every time I see you, but I'm gonna say it again – lighten up, for Christ's sake!"

"I've got an idea." Lucius was back among the living.

"God save us all." remarked Severus, rolling his eyes.

Lucius ignored him. "You know, if we all drank the Elixer, you wouldn't be alone, Severus."

Severus stared at him. "You'd do that for me?"

"Definitely. We love ya, even if you are a depressing git."

"You just want the money, don't you, Narcissa?" he asked, smiling at her.

"Oh, I'm sure I can get money out of you two easily enough." she smirked

Lucius put his arms around his friend's shoulders. "Face it, Severus, you're not getting rid of us that easily."

Severus hugged his friend back, enjoying the feeling that rose into his chest – loving your friends, and them loving you back.

The singing of the birds woke Severus the next  morning. Bloody birds, I like that dream! he whined to himself, putting his pillow over his head. But sleep was once again eluding him, this time for good until bedtime. Bugger.

He sat up and smiled to himself, remembering the second dream of the previous night. Yeah, 'Cissa and Lulu were great friends. Narcissa could be annoying, and Lucius a typical blond, but they were the first people to be unconditionally kind to him. He would miss them…