9.
"What?" His body tried to sit up straight, but Deanna countered that by pushing herself down. "Have you been to Sickbay yet?"
"No, I…" Her voice, small as it was, trailed off into silence. Will tried to follow the thoughts whirling through her mind, but she hid them too quickly. Even so, he had a pretty good idea what she was thinking about. Anna had been begging them for a little brother or sister for several months and after discussing it, Deanna had decided to stop taking her bi-monthly inhibitors, knowing from experience that it might well be a long time before she actually got pregnant. And now, what should have been happy news, only added to the fear and sadness already running through their minds.
Why could nothing ever be easy for them? There was always something that had to counter anything good happening in their lives. Deanna's capture by the Sindareen; him sleeping with Wendy just as Deanna came to make up and the trend continued. Their meeting aboard the Enterprise D had been overshadowed by the pain from their parting and until now the worst had been their wedding, which had been followed way too quickly by the assault on Deanna and the death of Data.
And now this.
He felt like screaming at the Universe until it handed him some kind of explanation or in the very least an apology. Of course Deanna sensed this and snuggled closer, without words letting him know she felt the same. "How sure are you?" He asked, feeling he had to ask something.
"Pretty sure."
"Then we'll stop by Sickbay tomorrow." Almost imperceptibly her body tensed in his arms. .::.Dea?.::.
Slowly she pushed herself into a sitting position and turned away from him; effectively hiding her eyes and emotions from him. He hated it when she did that, passionately. This time, when he reached out, she didn't pull away and as he rubbed a hand up and down her back he took some comfort from the contact himself as well. .::.You can tell me Dea, you know that.::.
.::.No!...Yes…I--I'm scared Will.::.
.::.I know, but that's only normal…remember when you first--.::.
.::.No, that's not it…It took so long before we had Anna, and I couldn't take care of her. I lost her, just like I lost Ian, what if…what if I can't keep this baby safe either?.::.
Shocked Riker jumped of the bed to kneel down in front of his wife. "Hey, don't think like that." Tears showed behind her black eyes –not the kind that would soon roll down her face, but the worst kind; the empathic tears, the ones that were lying behind her eyes and were slowly eating at her. The ones that broke his heart. "It wasn't your fault Dea, you know that. It was out of your hands."
.::.Maybe.::. She admitted half-heartedly .::.But I'm supposed to keep my children safe and apparently I cannot do that…I don't want to loose another child Will, I can't.::.
===tbc...===
Two more chapters to go :) Keep reviewing please *g*