Sorry this took so long. In case you didn't know, this is my first fic so I'm struggling just a bit. Just working through the plot in my mind though, it'll be a few more chapters until this is done, with probably a sequel type thing eventually. So please comment and leave suggestions if you wish.

I forgot the disclaimer before, so here it is:

I do not own Underworld or any of its characters. This is a fanfic, thus being intended to be based on other peoples' stuff and to be taken lightly.

***

Selene layed there in Michael's lap for a few moments, musing over all that was happening.

She didn't want to fight the war anymore, but she didn't know what she did want to do. She had seen centuries pass before her eyes and it brought her nothing but lonliness.

She never liked the Vampire Coven, but having them as an enemy meant certain death. She could never live amongst the lycans, she had killed too many of them. Couldn't be with Michael for reasons she couldn't begin to understand.

But most of all she couldn't live with herself.

She hated everything she had become over the last 200 years but she could never stop being that, she didn't know how.

For the first time in years, actual feelings were begining to sink into her. Only to say that wasn't quite correct. For a lot of her vampire life she had felt anger and determination. Those were the feelings most familiar to her. Yesterday she had felt betrayal and panic, and most of all confusion. Confusion was what had made her sick to her stomach.

But now was the first time she had felt something and realised it. All those other times she had not thought or was just too confused.

But now, now Selene knew- she felt regret, sorrow, lonliness, helplessness, and most of all suffocation.

She immediately shot up from the ground and darted up the stairs to a higher floor. Michael was shocked and unsure of where she had gone. She left so suddenly and quickly that he was left baffled.

He slowly got up, searching around for where she had gone to. It was then that he heard a piercing cry of utter pain from above.

He ran up the stairs following the sickening noise. Two floors above he found Selene slumped against a wall, huddled and shaking.

The moonlight did dances on her trembling face as she shrieked and wimpered.

He ran towards her, gathering her in his arms. It was then that he saw them- the punctures and cuts on her arms. He could tell she had done them herself from the blood dripping from her fangs.

Sickness befell him. It made him sick with guilt that he had caused her to do this to herself. She had always been strong, he knew that even though they had only met a few nights before. Now she was crumbling before his eyes. Just as Sonja had burned and crumbled before Lucian's eyes; only that with Sonja was physical while it was happening to Selene on the inside.

Michael pulled Selene to him, resting her head on his shoulder. He wanted to wipe the tears away and make everything better for Selene, only he knew that he couldn't. He couldn't prevent or relieve the hurt she was feeling.

As he pulled her forearm towards him, she immediately withdrew it and returnd to her huddle position. More cries came over her, like no cry Michael had ever heard. It was possible that humans were incapable of such a tormented sound.

Slowly, he crept towards he, careful not to startle or frighten her. He pulled her into his lap like he had before, running his fingers through her raven hair, gently rocking her while telling her lies that it was going to be okay.