Dedication: To all the members of my wonderful Buffy Neopets guild, Simply Buffy.
Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to get this part up. Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews. And Happy Thanksgiving! The song in this part is "How Do I Live" by LeAnn Rimes. Thanks to Tara for suggesting the perfect song. :-) Enjoy!!
Part 4
Buffy looked at her friend incredulously. "How did you know?"
Tracey smiled. "I obviously know you a lot better than you think.
Buffy heaved a sigh and sat down on the bed. She knew what she had to do. She looked at Tracey, who had sat down opposite from her. "Okay. I'll tell you the whole story. But you have to promise me something. This is all going to seem really weird. So just please hear me out, and afterwards if you want to have me committed, that's ok."
Tracey looked at her and nodded. "Okay. You can tell me anything."
Buffy thought about how she should begin. Then she blurted out "Vampires are real."
Tracey blinked and stared at her. She began to laugh. "That's a good one."
Buffy was dead serious. Tracey paled. "You're not joking are you?" Buffy shook her head.
"I didn't know it either, until I was sixteen. Then I was called." She took a breath. "In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer."
Tracey spoke very slowly, "so you are this...slayer?"
Buffy nodded. "It is my destiny. I was chosen by some wacky system to be the vampire slayer."
"When I was first called my life was already messed up, and as you might have guessed, my newfound destiny didn't help." She went on to explain how she got kicked out of Hemery, how she moved to Sunnydale, and how Giles was her watcher. She mentioned how Xander and Willow found out early on, and how they became the "Scooby Gang."
"I'm guessing that Angel figures into all of this somehow," Tracey said.
"Oh yes....Angel's a vampire. Well, he was."
Buffy was glad to see that Tracey seemed to be taking this well. "So that is why it couldn't work between you guys? But he is like human now or something?"
"Yes. You see, Angel was the vampire Angelus for about 200 years. He wreaked havoc all over Europe. He is a legend in the vampire world." Here comes the worst part.
"Then he was cursed. He killed the beloved daughter of some gypsy tribe, so they cursed him with a soul. He would live forever to regret all the terrible things he's done. But there was a catch." She sighed, all the pain coming back. "One moment of true happiness would take his soul away. He would become Angelus again."
"When I first came to Sunnydale, I met him and was immediately drawn to him."
Tracey smiled. "Love at first sight."
Buffy smiled. "Yes. It was. Although I don't think I realized it at the time."
She went on to explain how at first Angel was very mysterious. She told about their first kiss, and what happened after. She told Tracey how slowly they came to be a real couple.
"Things were going really well. I was happy." She swallowed hard. "Then it happened."
Tracey looked at her expectantly.
"It was the night of my seventeenth birthday. We had been fighting this demon, and it was raining. We ran back to his place." Her eyes welled with tears as she remembered this night. "There we finally admitted our love for each other." She looked at Tracey. "We made love. And it was perfect." The tears began to fall down her cheeks. "But we didn't know about the moment of true happiness clause."
Tracey raised her hand to her mouth."Oh, Lynn."
Buffy tried to fight through the tears. "H-he became Angelus. For the next few months he did everything he could to ruin my life."
"Giles had a girlfriend. Her name was Jenny Calendar." Buffy looked at the floor. "Angel-Angelus k-killed her."
"Oh my God."
By this point the tears were flowing freely for Buffy. Eyes filled with sympathy, Tracey stood and sat next to her friend. She wrapped her arms around her. They stayed like this for several moments. Then Buffy sat up.
"Are you sure you can continue?"
Buffy nodded. "I have to." She took a deep breath. "I never forgave myself for Jenny's death. And I think deep down Giles never did either. He still hates Angel for it."
"Finally it was time. I was ready to do what I had been putting off for months."
She explained about Acathla and the ritual. She told about their fight.
"At the last minute, Willow's spell worked. He became human." She shook her head. "But it was too late. It was already beginning to work, and it was him...or the world. I had to kill him."
By this point Tracey was crying too. "Lynn, I'm so sorry."
Now that the hardest part was over, Buffy briefly told of how Angel came back and how she kept him from her friends. She told her how they sort of got back together. Then she told her about the sewer talk.
"He broke up with me. I knew deep down that he was right. But I was too upset to see that then."
"He came to the prom. We danced together." She smiled, remembering those wonderful few minutes. "It was like the whole world disappeared, and it was just us forever." She sighed. "But it didn't last. He left soon after. He didn't even say goodbye. He just walked away into the fog. And I never saw him again."
"Until today," Tracey said.
Buffy nodded. "What am I going to do Trace?"
Tracey shook her head and hugged her friend.
After several minutes they pulled away, both girls in tears. "How did you do it Lynn? If I had gone through all of that, I...I...wouldn't be able to continue living."
Buffy smiled wryly. "I wasn't that strong. After all, I am here aren't I?"
Tracey just shook her head. "So you still love him?"
"With everything that I am." She paused. "I didn't know I still did, until today. When I saw him, everything came rushing back."
"You must have known though, because you haven't gone on one date as long as I've known you."
Buffy shook her head. "I was just scared."
Tracey stood and began to walk around. "Alright, we need to go shopping."
"Why?"
Tracey grinned and raised her eyebrows. "You need something sexy to wear on your date!"
Buffy paled. "No! I can't just throw myself at him!"
Tracey put her hands on her hips. "Don't even try to tell me that some naughty thoughts were going through your head when he was here before."
Buffy blushed. "Tracey!" She got serious. "But really. I'll go shopping, but I don't want to be too sexy. I can't give in this easy after all I did to escape him."
"Wow. You're more stubborn than I thought!"
The girls both cracked up.
"You have no idea how much better I feel. I never told somebody all of that before. It's like this huge weight has been lifted." She took a deep breath. "And now I know what I have to do." She picked up the phone. "It's only about eight in Sunnydale."
Tracey stepped towards her. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
Buffy nodded. "I have to. But...please stay with me?"
"Of course."
Taking a deep breath, Buffy dialed Giles's number. It was funny how she still remembered it. She listened to the ringing, barely breathing. What am I doing!?!?
The phone picked up. "Rupert Giles," spoke the familiar voice.
Buffy froze. Tracey nudged her. "Hello?" Giles said.
"Giles?" she blurted out.
There was a silence on both ends. "Buffy?" he said incredulously. "I-I-Is that you?"
"It's me Giles."
"Oh my God. Buffy, if you had any idea what it means to hear your voice..."
Tears filled Buffy's eyes again.
"Where are you? How are you? Did Angel find you?"
Feeling slightly overwhelmed, Buffy began to answer his many questions. "I'm in New York City, I'm fine, and yes."
Buffy heard a voice in the backround. "Rupert? W-W-Who is on the phone?"
Her heart leapt as she heard her mom's voice. "Is my mom there?"
"I'll put her on."
There was a very brief pause. "Baby? Buffy is that you?"
The tears spilled over. "It's me mom."
A little while later, Buffy hung up the phone. "Wow. It felt so good to hear their voices. And Willow's going to call tomorrow!" She frowned. "But it is a little creepy that my mom is at Giles's. At night!"
Tracey laughed. "I'm so proud of you. That must have taken so much courage." She milled around the room. "So when are you working tomorrow? Cuz we have some serious shopping to do girl!"
Buffy laughed, and the two girls hugged.
"Now we better find something good, because Donna wasn't pleased when I told her about my 'appointment'."
The girls laughed as they strolled into Macy's the next morning. "Well this is a very special occasion. It's not every day that the love of your life comes back and asks you out."
They entered the Juniors Dresses. "Ooh, this is cute," Tracey said holding up a short, strapless red dress and waggling her eyebrows.
"Tracey..."
"Okay, okay!" They continued to look through the racks.
"How about this?" Buffy held up a black sleeveless dress.
"That's cute! For my mother! Come on, be a little daring." Tracey held up a dress. "How about this one? It's just the right amount of sexy." She held up a shorter, black dress with spaghetti straps.
Buffy looked at it sideways. "I like it! It's a keeper."
They continued to look for more options. Then Tracey gasped. "Oh my God, Lynn, this would look so amazing on you!" She held up a very short red slip dress. It was very silky and low cut.
"Tracey! I told you no!" She studied the dress. "Although that is awful cute."
"Please try it on, please please please?" Tracey pouted.
Buffy laughed. "Okay! I surrender!"
A little while later the girls emerged from the store with their bags. They had bought both dresses, the more conservative black one and the sexy red one. "You are going to have more than one date with him. And it looks amazing!" Tracey had said. And Buffy had to agree. They had also purchased shoes and purses to go with each.
"Part of me is so excited about tonight...and the other part of me wants to puke."
Tracey pretended to consider. "I would go with the first one. Puking all over him won't get you many points."
The girls cracked up and strolled away arm in arm.
"Oh my God! He'll be here in half an hour!" Buffy squealed later that night.
"Calm down! If you don't hold still I'll never finish your makeup."
Buffy managed to sit still while Tracey finished her lipstick. "There. All done," Tracey said, holding out a mirror. Buffy examined herself.
"It looks great....What the heck am I going to do with my hair!?!?!"
"Chill! Why don't you just wear it down? It looks so pretty," Tracey said. She checked her watch. "We'd better get you dressed."
Ten minutes later Buffy was fully dressed and almost ready. The plain black dress was perfect. It was not too long and not too short, it was cut straight across so she didn't show too much cleavage, and the spaghetti straps provided just the right amount of sexy. Her shoes were plain with low heels and little bows on the sides.
"Lynn, you look great." She paused. "Am I supposed to call you Buffy?"
Buffy shrugged. "I really don't know. But I think for now I'll be Lynn. I'm not ready to explain this to everyone." She brushed her hair and turned towards Tracey. "How do I look?" She twirled around.
Tracey smiled. "Perfect!" Just then there was a knock at the door. Buffy froze.
"Oh my God, he's early! Oh my God, I can't do this."
"Yes you can!" Tracey gave Buffy one final check-over, gave her a thumbs up, and walked to the door. She opened it to reveal Angel standing there, in a black tux carrying a single red rose.
"Hi. You must be Tracey," He said with a smile. "Is Buffy ready?"
Buffy slowly stepped into his view.
She was breathtaking. She was dressed very simply, but she looked so beautiful. How am I going to keep my hands off her? He thought to himself.
"Wow...you look amazing." He handed her the rose. "Here." Here? How lame is that? I seriously need to chill out.
She smiled. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that."
God he looks hot in that tux.
After laying the rose on her desk, she turned back towards him. "So, where are we going?"
He smiled. "It's a surprise." He stepped aside, and she stepped out the door.
"Bye guys," Tracey said with a wave. Then she shut the door, and Buffy and Angel were alone.
"So...are you ready?" Hesitantly he held out his arm. Shakily she took it. "Yes I am."
They walked down the hall for their first real date in...well ever.
"Oh my God, Angel," Buffy said as they climbed out of the cab.
They were at Da Vinci's, one of New York's famous Italian restaurants. From what Buffy had heard, it was very expensive and difficult to get a reservation at.
"How did you get us in here?"
He smiled. "When you've been in this world for over 200 years, you establish some connections."
Arm in arm, they walked through the doors. It was breathtaking. Candles were everywhere, and soft music played. She looked up at Angel. "This is so beautiful. Thank you so much."
He smiled. "You don't have to thank me."
They were seated and began to look at the menu. Buffy eyes almost popped out of her head when she saw the prices.
"Angel, you really didn't have to do this."
"Please don't worry about the money. Get whatever you want."
There was a brief pause as they looked through the menu. "So, how is LA?" she asked finally.
Buffy almost choked on her pasta. "An evil law firm?" she asked cracking up.
Angel laughed. "Wolfram and Hart, where the majority of their employees spend the better part of their 40 hours trying to ruin my life."
Buffy shook her head. Dinner had been going great. The food was amazing, and the conversation came rather easily. She had discussed her job and her classes, and he had told her about Angel Investigations. They were both much more at ease than they had expected.
"Tracey seems very nice," Angel said.
Buffy smiled. "She's the best." She paused. "Last night I told her everything. Even the...supernatural parts."
Angel was a little surprised. "Wow. That's great. That you have a friend like that."
Buffy nodded. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. I called Sunnydale last night. I spoke to Giles and mom. And I talked to Willow today."
Angel was impressed. "That's great Buffy. I'm sure they were thrilled to hear from you."
She smiled. "It was just great to hear their voices again."
Angel thought to himself. Tell her. You have to tell her about Darla and Connor. He shook his head. Not yet. Things are going so well.
By this point they were both done eating. Angel noticed a small dance floor off to the side where several couples were slow dancing. A new song was coming on. He swallowed.
"Would you like to dance?"
Slightly surprised, Buffy smiled. "I'd love that."
He took her hand and led her to the dance floor. He put one hand on her waist and held her other hand in his. She nestled in close, feeling safer than she had in years.
How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be
Oh I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything good in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breath without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live
Without you, there would be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There would be no world left for me
And I....Baby, I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything real in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby, cause you know that your everything good in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breath without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live
Without you....
When the song ended, Buffy was surprised to notice that she was totally pressed against Angel, her head resting on his shoulder. She looked up at him, blushing slightly. "How did I live without you?" she said softly.
Angel almost choked. "Excuse me?"
Buffy blushed. "Never mind."
Later the cab pulled up in front of Buffy's dorm and they both climbed out. They walked up the steps and stopped. Buffy spoke first.
"Angel, I had the best time tonight. It was perfect. Thank you for everything."
Angel smiled. "It was perfect. Thank you for allowing me to take you out." He paused. "Can I see you tomorrow?"
Buffy nodded. "I have classes in the morning, then cheerleading practice, then work, but I'm free tomorrow night," she said.
"I'll call you, okay?" She nodded.
Buffy's heart started to pound as Angel slowly leaned in towards her. Oh my God. He's going to kiss me.
She slowly stepped toward him, and he touched her waist. Slowly their lips met. For several long moments they stood there, kissing in each other's arms. They felt the ache for each other inside that they had felt all night explode as they kissed passionately.
When they felt the need to breath, they slowly broke the kiss. "Wow," Buffy whispered.
Angel brushed her hair away from her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow." And then he turned and walked back to the cab, although every part of him was begging him to stay.
As the cab drove away, Buffy stood there bringing her fingers up to touch her lips, where the last breath of his kiss lingered.
