Author's Note: OMG, I am so sorry it took me so long to get this part out. My Buffy guild had it's first
birthday this month, and I was totally swamped, and this fanfic took a real backseat. And on top of that, Angel was cancelled a few days back. -tear-
But now I am back, and ready to finish this story in record time. Only three more parts left after this one! I think you guys will really enjoy this chapter, I am very pleased with it. :-)
Dedication: To the fans of Angel, that have come together so much since the cancellation was announced. We can't give up!!
Part 8
For the next month, things went very smoothly. Buffy and Angel continued their relationship. Almost every night she would be in his hotel room. Between cheerleading, work, and classes, they still made time to go on dates. Neither of them could ever remember being this happy before.
However the choice she would have to make in only 2 more months continued to eat away at the back of her mind. She tried not to mention it while she was around Angel. He had already sacrificed enough for her. She also didn't want to take away from their time together with her problems.
She also avoided mentioning it to her New York friends. A few months ago, before Angel had come back into the picture, they had all discussed getting an apartment together after graduation. But since Angel came, they had stopped talking about it. Buffy felt bad because she knew that even if she decided to stay in New York, she would probably get a place with Angel.
If he would even stay.
She tried not to think about all of these things, but sometimes she couldn't help it. She continued to call Sunnydale every once in a while, just to chat. She enjoyed her conversations with her California friends, and began to miss them even more. She was really and truly torn.
March 25, 2003
New York City
"I'm going to miss you," Buffy said to Angel. They stood in the main lobby of JFK airport. His flight to Los Angeles was leaving in a few minutes.
After being in New York for over a month, Angel knew that he was due to check on things in LA, both with his business and with his son. He was only going for a few days, but to them it seemed like it would be forever.
"I'll miss you more," he teased, giving her a kiss.
"I'll talk to you soon," she said. They kissed one last time. Then with one final smile, he boarded the plane.
Buffy sat in one of the few empty chairs in the crowded lobby. A part of her was sad that she would have to spend a few days without him. But she understood, and was grateful that he had waited even this long to make the trip back to LA. However, she was planning on using the time while he was away to resolve her dilemma. She finally would have some time to herself to just really think it through. She hoped that by the time he returned, she would be at peace with whatever decision she had made.
And she knew just how to start. With a slight smile, she walked outside and into the waiting cab.
Back in her dorm room, Buffy flipped through the pages of her address book until she found the entry she was looking for. Then she picked up the phone and dialed the number that she hadn't dialed in months.
After the long distance call went through, she heard the familiar voice pick up the phone. "Hello?"
Buffy grinned. "Professor Strang! It's Lynn."
"Lynn! It's so great to hear from you! How are you?"
"I'm doing great. But, I really need your advice. I have nowhere else to go," she said.
"Oh, Lynn my dear, you know you can always call me. So tell me what's the matter."
Buffy proceeded to give the less supernatural version of the events that had led her to this moment. She explained how she had known Angel back in California, and how he was here now. She mentioned how happy she had been the last month. Then she cut right to the chase.
"Professor, I don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate. Part of me really just wants to stay here, and be with Angel, and continue with the life I've made for myself. But then I miss my friends in Sunnydale, and I know that Angel would be happier in California with his son. I really don't know what to do, and it's tearing me apart." She was on the verge of tears.
"Oh Lynn. You do have a predicament ahead of you. But I think it can be sorted out rather easily. You just need to work through it the way you know best."
Buffy was really not in the mood for cryptic. "What do you mean?"
"Lynn! You are a writer! You need to write out your problems, and then everything will seem much clearer, I guarantee it."
"You mean, like a pros and cons list?"
"Yes! Whatever works for you. And Lynn, I can tell that you love this Angel very much. But you must make the decision that's right for you. You have to follow your heart. And if you are still torn after you write it out, then I'm sure a sign will come that will show you the way."
A tear trickled down Lynn's cheek. "Professor Strang, thank you so much. I really needed that."
"Anytime my dear. And do let me know what you decide. I know you will make the right choice."
"Goodbye Professor Strang."
"Goodbye Lynn."
Feeling satisfied, she hung up the phone. She was right. Buffy wished that she had thought of this solution before. She sat down at her desk with a pen and paper. She divided the paper into two columns, and put "California" at the top of one and "NYC" at the top of the other. Then she paused a moment.
First, in the California column, she wrote Willow, Xander, and Giles. Then under NYC, she wrote Tracey, Dani, and Kristen.
Which column do I put Angel under? She thought. He said he would stay with me no matter what, but I know he'd rather be in Sunnydale...
She groaned, and crumbled up the paper. This wasn't helping at all. She had to really write it out in order for this to work.
She got out a clean piece of paper. She knew that the only way to make this work was to start at the beginning. She began to write the first thing that came into her mind.
In early 1997, my mother and I moved to Sunnydale, California....
The same day
Los Angeles, CA
Angel walked into the Hyperion Hotel and set his duffel bag down on the floor. "Anybody home?" he called.
"Angel?" Cordelia walked out from the office. "Angel! You're back!" She ran up to him and gave him a big hug.
"I'm glad to see you too," he said, truly meaning it.
"So what are you doing here? Are...oh, Angel, did you break up with Buffy? I am soooo sorry." She hugged him again.
"Actually no, things are great with me and Buffy. I'm just here to see Connor." He paused. "And the rest of you," he added quickly.
"Oh! Okay. Well, I don't know where he is. He's been pretty scarce around here this past month. I think the last time he stopped by was about three days ago."
"Well, I can find him. I just need to talk to him about-"
"Angel! You're back!"
Fred, Gunn, Wesley, and Lorne walked through the doors of the hotel, smiling.
"Hey guys! I've missed you." He hugged Fred and smiled at the others.
"So, how's Buffy?" Wesley asked.
Angel couldn't help but grin at the mention of her name. "She's great. It's great."
The former Watcher/rogue demon hunter smiled. "I'm glad. We are all very happy for you."
"Thank you." They all stood there for a minute.
"So how long are you going to stay?" Fred asked.
"I don't know. A few days, maybe. I just have some things that I need to talk over with Connor."
They nodded.
"Well, I'm going to go out and look for him. But it's great seeing you guys again." He headed towards the door.
"Good luck. You know, I think the kid really missed you," Gunn said.
"I hope so." And with that he left.
Angel walked around the streets of LA, hoping to pick up a sign of Connor. He had been out for over an hour now, and still nothing. Just as he was thinking about how he should get Connor ones of those little phones that everyone in New York had, he heard a voice behind him.
"Dad?"
Angel spun around to see his son standing behind him. "Connor! Hey." He took a step toward him, intending to hug him, but Connor quickly stepped back. Okay, guess I was pushing my luck.
"What are you doing here?" Connor asked suspiciously. He carried a stake in one hand. I would feel a lot better if he put that thing away.
"I'm here to see you," Angel said. He paused. "Can we go somewhere where we can talk? Back to the hotel, maybe?"
"Sure, I guess." To Angel's relief he put the stake in his pocket. They started to walk in the direction of the hotel.
"So how's Buffy?" he asked after a moment.
Slightly surprised at the question, Angel took a moment to respond. "She's great. It's...it's been great to be with her again."
"Then why are you here?"
Angel stopped. "Look, I already told you, I'm here to see you. I feel bad enough, going away for a month right when things were getting...better with...us. So I wanted to come and see you. I've missed you, Connor."
Connor looked down. "But tomorrow you're going back to New York."
Angel took a deep breath. "Maybe not tomorrow, but...soon. I made a promise to Buffy." He hesitated. "That's actually one of the things I wanted to talk to you about."
Connor looked up slightly. They were almost back to the hotel now.
"Buffy's graduating from college in May. She still doesn't know if she wants to stay in New York or come back to California. So, we might be coming back here-"
"Or you might stay in New York and leave me for good."
"Actually no. Well yes to the first part, but no to the leaving you for good. I wanted to tell you that if she does decide to stay in New York...I want you to come there and live with us."
Connor stopped and really looked at Angel for the first time since their conversation had started. "What?"
"We would get an apartment in New York, big enough for the three of us, and we would like you to come and live with us. You could even have your own room."
Connor knew that this offer was too nice to be true. "Have you even talked to Buffy about this?"
Oh boy. "Well no, not yet, but only because the topic of her staying or leaving is a pretty sore subject right now. But I know that she would love the idea."
Connor shook his head and kept walking. "Connor, I want you to please consider it. I don't need an answer right now, I don't even know if we are staying in New York. But please think about it."
They both stopped. Angel looked at his son. "We could be a family."
After a second, Connor started walking again. "Buffy might not even like me."
"Actually I think you're wrong about that. She can't wait to meet you." Hoping that he could still salvage the situation, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a photograph. He handed it to Connor. "That's Buffy."
Connor looked at the photo. He saw a petite, smiling blonde woman looking back at him. He handed the photo back to his father. "She's beautiful." He kept walking.
Angel forced a smile. "Looks reasonable enough, doesn't she?" His son just continued to walk to the point where Angel had to half-jog to keep up with him. He decided to change the subject. "So I hear that you've been helping out with the demons."
"Yeah, I helped Wesley and Gunn kill a Bolnark demon few weeks back."
"You know, you're always welcome at the hotel. They worry about you when you don't stop by."
He shrugged. "I have better things to do." That was a complete lie, but his father didn't need to know that. They had reached the hotel now.
Connor spoke again. "I'd better go, I was heading to a vampire nest when I ran into you."
"Oh." Angel tried not to let the disappointment show. "Okay. You need help?"
"No, I've got it."
"Well, just think about what we discussed. And here, take this." He handed him a slip of paper. "It's my phone number in New York. You can call me any time. I'd love to hear from you."
Reluctantly he took the paper. "Okay." He turned to walk away.
"Wait, Connor?"
He turned around.
"Take care."
He nodded. Then he started to walk away. "Bye Dad," he whispered to himself.
"Did you say something?"
"Nothing." And with that he was gone.
The same night
New York City
Buffy threw down her pen. She was finally done. Three pages of paper covered with writing sat in front of her. She had written down everything there was to write. And still...
She screamed. Then she threw the papers across the room. She wasn't any closer to a decision than she had been an hour ago.
She flopped onto the bed. This was so frustrating! She wished that someone else could make her decision for her.
She sat up straight. That was it!
"Maybe they can't make my decision for me, but they might be able to help..." she said to herself. She half ran and retrieved her papers, then ran back to the desk. She edited a few quick things. Then she looked at the clock. 9:42.
"Someone will still be there," she murmered. She grabbed her coat and stuffed the papers into her bag. Then she turned out the lights and ran out the door.
Twenty minutes later she ran into the Manhatten Tribune office. The place was very quiet, but a few people were still there. Not bothering to say hello, she walked straight to the office of Henry Brown, editor in chief. She walked through the open door.
"I need you to print this for me," she said, thrusting her papers at him.
The middle aged, kind faced man looked at her in surprise. "Lynn! What are you doing here at this hour? What is this? Please, sit down." She remained standing.
"Look Mr. Brown, I need this to be printed. It can go in the editorial section, or whatever. Just please print it."
He looked at her, then down at the papers. He began to read it. A second later, he looked at her, his eyebrows raised. "Is this true?"
"Every word."
He continued to read. She stood there silently while he read the whole thing. When he was done, he let out a low whistle.
"Wow Lynn, I don't envy you right now." He shook his head. "All of that is true? So...your name isn't really Lynn?"
"No. But Mr. Brown, I'm so confused. I need help. I know that if we print this, we'll get some responses. Maybe hearing other peoples' opinions will help me."
He looked at her for a second. "Okay. Just type this up, and have it to me in ten minutes. There is still time to get it in tomorrow's issue."
"Mr. Brown, thank you soooo much!" She grabbed her article and ran toward the door.
"Lynn?"
She turned around.
"Good luck."
She smiled. "Thank you." Then she ran to her cubicle and began typing her masterpiece.
The next morning
New York City
The next morning, Buffy awoke at 8 when her alarm went off. For a second, she just lied there, feeling lonely, as it was the first time in a month that she'd woken up without Angel. But then she remembered, and she bolted out of bed.
Still in her pajamas, she ran down the hallway. There were already kids there, milling around a little before work or class. Finally she spotted someone with what she was looking for.
"Can I see that for a minute?" They handed her the newspaper. Today's issue of the Manhatten Tribune. She flipped furiously to the editorial/opinion section. There it was, bottom left.
"Thank you," she said, handing it back. She walked back to her room, smiling the whole way. Soon, her problems would be solved.
She opened the door to her room to find Tracey there. "Hey hun, where were you? I'm so sorry, I never made it home last night. I was cramming for my bio test in the library, and I totally crashed."
"It's okay. I just had to go check on something, that's all." She began to gather her stuff for her shower.
"So, is Angel coming home today? Oh, God, last night was your first night in like, a month, without him wasn't it? And I wasn't here!" Tracey smacked her forehead. "I'm so sorry."
"No, it's okay, really. He'll be home today or tomorrow, I don't know. I talked to him last night. He said he talked to Connor, but he didn't know if he could get a flight today or not." She smiled at her best friend. "But being alone for one night really makes me wonder how I went for 4 whole years without him."
Tracey walked over and put her arm around her friend. "I know. But I'm sure he'll make up for it when he gets back."
Later, Tracey walked through the main lobby of the dormitory on her way to class. She spotted a group of kids from her hall huddled around something. Curious, she wandered over.
"Wow, who would have known. Lynn seemed so...nice and normal," one girl said.
"Hey, can I see that?" Tracey asked, gesturing towards the newspaper that the girl held.
"Yeah, hey Trace. Oh my God, you're her roommate, aren't you? Did you know about this?"
Tracey scanned the page until she found what they had all been talking about. "Oh boy," she whispered.
Stepping aside for a minute, she skimmed through the article. Her heart was breaking for her roommate. She must feel so alone, to write about her personal feelings for all of New York to see.
She handed the paper back. "Yeah, I knew about the situation, but not about the article."
"Well...give her our best, okay? She's gonna need it," another girl said.
Tracey nodded. Then she headed out into the street. She groaned. "How am I going to fix this?" she muttered to herself. The one thing about the article that had really bothered her was how uncertain Lynn had sounded about Angel's loyalty to her. She had only known the guy for a month, and she already knew that he'd do anything for Buffy.
She had an idea. But she would have to wait a while. So she headed off to fail her biology test, trying to put the article out of her mind.
Later, in the afternoon, Tracey called Buffy's cell phone in between her English class and her drama club meeting. After two rings she picked up.
"Hey, Trace. Whatsup?"
"Not much. Just wanted to remind you that we have practice tonight."
"Ugh, do we ever. Angel is home too, and I won't be able to see him until eight tonight!!"
Tracey smiled slightly. "That sucks. Well, I've got to go now. Drama club meeting."
"Byebye!" They hung up.
Tracey rushed into the auditorium where drama club was held. She ran up to Stacey, the president. "Hey, Stace, do you need me for the first, like, half an hour of the meeting? I have something really important I have to do." Tracey was the treasurer of the drama club.
"No, I think we'll be okay. Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, it will be. I'll be back soon!" And then she ran out the door.
Ten minutes later her cab pulled up outside of the hotel where Angel was staying. Tracey climbed out of the cab. She entered the hotel. Before she went over to the check in desk she grabbed a copy of today's Manhatten Tribune from the rack by the door. Then she approached the desk.
"Hi, can you tell me what room Angel O'Leary is in?" she asked.
The hotel clerk looked at her suspiciously. "I'm sorry, but I can't give out that kind of information."
Tracey flashed her sweetest smile. "Can you at least call his room, and tell him that Tracey is here? He'll want to see me."
Reluctantly, the clerk picked up the phone. There was a brief pause. "Hello, Mr. O'Leary, this is the front desk. There is a young woman named Tracey that wants to see you. Should I send her up?" There was another brief pause. "Okay then." She hung up.
"Room 518," she said.
"Thank you!"
She hopped on the elevator and rode up to the 5th floor. She noticed that the hotel was pretty swanky. "Well I guess after you live for 200 plus years you get quite the chunk of change built up," she muttered to herself. She quickly found the room, and knocked.
A second later he opened the door. "Tracey! Hi. Is...is Buffy okay?" he asked, visibly concerned.
She smiled. "Yes, she's...well actually I don't know. Can I come in for a second?" Lynn is so wrong. He cares about her so much. He would probably die for her.
"Um, sure," he said, still confused. "It's not that I'm not glad to see you, but...what is this about exactly?"
"It's about this." She handed him the paper, which she had opened to the editorial section. He looked at her, confused.
"Bottom left."
He saw the article. He began to read it. Tracey saw his face fall as he read about the problems of the woman he loved. When he was done he sat down on the bed and rubbed his forehead. "I am so stupid. How could I not know that this was tearing her up so much?"
"It's not your fault. It's Lynn's. She obviously still doesn't totally believe you. And that's why I came."
He looked at her. "To tip me off that the woman I love doesn't believe a word I say?"
"No, no, no, not at all. She just doesn't believe that you will stay with her if she decides to stay in New York for good. And I think that you need to show her that she can believe you- and fast."
Angel nodded slowly. "Thank you for showing me this."
"Anything for Lynn." She turned and began to walk towards the door. Then she stopped. "She does love you. She just needs some...security. She needs to know that you will always be there for her no matter what."
Angel smiled. "She's very lucky to have you for a friend."
Tracey smiled. Then she left.
Angel picked up the newspaper and read the article through once more. How can I show her that I will never leave her ever again?
Then inspiration struck. Just like one of those cartoons with the little lightbulbs. "That's it," he whispered. Grinning from ear to ear, he grabbed his coat and hurried out of the room.
Later that night, Buffy walked down the hallway at Angel's hotel. When she had talked to him before, he'd sounded...strange. She was a little worried. Maybe he saw my article. But he couldn't have. He wasn't even here this morning. I'm sure it's nothing.
Or maybe seeing Connor made him realize that he has to go back to LA. Now.
She shook her head. She had to stop thinking such negative things about the man that she loved. Things would be so much simpler if he didn't have a son.
She knocked at the door. "Coming!" she heard him call from within.
Soon the door swung open. "Hey, gorgeous," he said, leaning in to kiss her. They kissed passionately.
"I missed you," she whispered.
"I missed you too," he whispered back. He reached down to grab her hand. "Come in. I have a surprise for you," he said.
She followed him into the room. "What kind of a surprise?"
He led her over to the bed, where she sat. He stood in front of her. "Tracey came to see me today. She showed me this." He held up the copy of the newspaper. Buffy's face fell.
"Angel, it's not-"
He put his hand over his lips. "You don't have to say anything. Let me do the talking, okay?" She nodded.
He sat down next to her on the bed. "That article you wrote really made me realize. It made me realize that you really didn't believe me when I said that I would stay with you no matter what decision you made. And it also made me realize that you had no reason to believe me."
She looked up.
"I already left you once before. It's only reasonable to think that I might do it again. And it made me realize that I have to make you see that...this time is different. This is the real thing, Buffy. This is our chance. We can have something really wonderful. But only if we both want it." He took a deep breath. "So now I have to show you how much I want it." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small jewelry box. Buffy gasped.
"Buffy Summers, I love you. And I am ready to spend the rest of my life with you, wherever you want." She smiled, and started to cry. "I am never going to leave you again." He opened the box to reveal a beautiful, sparkling diamond ring. "Buffy Summers, will you marry me?"
She held her hand over her mouth. Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks.
"Oh, my God...yes. Yes, I'll marry you." She fell into his arms.
A moment later she pulled back. "I am so sorry that I didn't believe you. I realize now that I was stupid to not believe you. I love you Angel." They kissed.
After they kissed, he took hold of her left hand. He put the ring on her finger.
"It's so beautiful," she said, looking at the ring through her tears. "You really didn't have to-"
"I was going to anyway. I was going to wait until after you graduated, but today I realized that I needed to do it now." He smiled. "So do you believe me yet?"
She smiled. "Yes, I do." They kissed again. "I promise that I will never not believe you again." They kissed again, and they fell back onto the bed. They knew that the next few months would contain a lot of hard choices, but they were finally ready to face them together.
