The Harry Potter Trilogy
Harry: I LOVE YOU!
Hermione: I- thought we were just friends Harry. I mean you're a nice guy and all- but you definitely have some unsolved issues.
McGonagall: *intercom* Harry Potter, please report to my office immediately. That'll be all.
IN MCGONAGALL'S OFFICE
McGonagall: Potter- I've asked you here today because you seem to be having some "anger" problems.
Harry: *not knowing what she's talking about* Like what?
McGonagall: Well, chasing Mr. Weasley around the school, dancing on the front page of the school paper, and that whole pot thing and-
Harry: ok ok sheesh!
McGonagall: So- I've changed your schedule so that you'll be taking The Art of Zen Gardening and your teacher will be Negolas Brownleaf.
Harry: What?! Is that even a real class?!
McGonagall: Yes, but the staff likes to keep quiet about it for the poor anger management needed embarrassed students sake...
Harry: Hey! *points index finger at McGonagall* news flash- you were in the men's *swings finger around* bathroom too!
McGonagall: I don't believe so Mr. Potter.
Harry: *rolls eyes* *flashback to first story~ "Everyone but Hermione is crammed into the men's bathroom, even the ghosts and TEACHERS, smoking" (see she was smoking on the bathroom)
McGonagall: *blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...* Harry: *loser sneeze*
McGonagall: Excuse me?
Harry: Nothing
NEXT DAY- OUTSIDE-ZEN GARDENING CLASS
Negolas Brownleaf: (looks exactly like Legolas Greenleaf) Hello class. (which was just Harry and a kid with a huge boil) I'm Negolas Brownleaf. Your new The Art of the Zen Gardening teacher.
Harry: *long sigh* *rolls eyes*
Negolas: ...and the only reason I'm saying this is because I see we have a new face in the crowd. A... Mr. Harry Potter.
Harry: *Hermione on his mind* Yep- that just about puts the icing on the cake. *thinks to self -Hermione always liked to eat the frosting first on the cupcake*
Negolas: Oh, a Mr. smarty-pants have we?
Harry: No...
Negolas: Oh, here we go again!
Harry: What's your deal?
Negolas: You wanna take this inside do ya?!
Harry: You should be in this class- not teaching it.
Negolas: I challenge you to a duel! Ha Ha Ha! *eerie look*
Harry: A what?
Negolas: Bring it! This is a karate duel! Just F.Y.I.!
Harry: *whispers to boil kid* Weird-o.
Negolas: *crow pose*
Harry: *runs away into the castle*
IN A HALLWAY
Harry: *sees Hermione and stops running* Hermione! I've got to ask you something-
Hermione: What is it Harry?
Harry: Will you go out with me?
Hermione: I thought we already discussed this?
Harry: I know I know- but will you?
Hermione: No
Harry: Yes
Hermione: No
Harry: Yes
Hermione *slowly* Noooo
Harry: *slowly* Yessss
Hermione: No
Harry: No
Hermione: Yes
Harry: Ha! Yes! Score! *happy dance* uh huh uh huh uh huh
Hermione: Harry- I'd go out with Malfoy before we ever go out.
Malfoy: *turns corner* *acting like a thug* Hey babe.
Hermione: *links arms with Malfoy and heads for the Great Hall*
Harry: Noooo.... *on knees* *hallway goes dark and a beam of light comes down on him* Noooo!!! *half crying*
OUTSIDE THE GREAT HALL
Harry: *sobbing a little*
Ron: There, there Harry. *opens door* Holy Guacamole!!
(inside it's dark except for the flashing neon lights, confetti, and everyone dancing. Jordan Lee is working the turntables) (On the staff table is Malfoy break dancing)
Hermione: *shouting to Malfoy* And windmill, and windmill, and windmill...
Harry: What the heck is going on here?!
Dumbledore: *walks into Great Hall*
(The room fell silent)
Ron: We're sure in a sticky widget.
Dumbledore: -'cause whatever it is- I wanna join!
(Party starts up again) Yah!!!!
10 MINUTES LATER
Dumbledore: *walks to close to turn tables and his hair gets caught*My wig- I mean hair! *wig- I mean hair falls off* *grabs wig and quickly puts it on* *then starts partying again*
Jordan Lee: Well, that wasted 38 seconds of my life.
Harry: *sitting in corner feeling sorry for himself* Could my life get any worse?
(just then see McGonagall and Dumbledor making out)
Harry: Yeah. I guess it could...
Ron: OH MY GOD! Not again...
Harry: I LOVE YOU!
Hermione: I- thought we were just friends Harry. I mean you're a nice guy and all- but you definitely have some unsolved issues.
McGonagall: *intercom* Harry Potter, please report to my office immediately. That'll be all.
IN MCGONAGALL'S OFFICE
McGonagall: Potter- I've asked you here today because you seem to be having some "anger" problems.
Harry: *not knowing what she's talking about* Like what?
McGonagall: Well, chasing Mr. Weasley around the school, dancing on the front page of the school paper, and that whole pot thing and-
Harry: ok ok sheesh!
McGonagall: So- I've changed your schedule so that you'll be taking The Art of Zen Gardening and your teacher will be Negolas Brownleaf.
Harry: What?! Is that even a real class?!
McGonagall: Yes, but the staff likes to keep quiet about it for the poor anger management needed embarrassed students sake...
Harry: Hey! *points index finger at McGonagall* news flash- you were in the men's *swings finger around* bathroom too!
McGonagall: I don't believe so Mr. Potter.
Harry: *rolls eyes* *flashback to first story~ "Everyone but Hermione is crammed into the men's bathroom, even the ghosts and TEACHERS, smoking" (see she was smoking on the bathroom)
McGonagall: *blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...* Harry: *loser sneeze*
McGonagall: Excuse me?
Harry: Nothing
NEXT DAY- OUTSIDE-ZEN GARDENING CLASS
Negolas Brownleaf: (looks exactly like Legolas Greenleaf) Hello class. (which was just Harry and a kid with a huge boil) I'm Negolas Brownleaf. Your new The Art of the Zen Gardening teacher.
Harry: *long sigh* *rolls eyes*
Negolas: ...and the only reason I'm saying this is because I see we have a new face in the crowd. A... Mr. Harry Potter.
Harry: *Hermione on his mind* Yep- that just about puts the icing on the cake. *thinks to self -Hermione always liked to eat the frosting first on the cupcake*
Negolas: Oh, a Mr. smarty-pants have we?
Harry: No...
Negolas: Oh, here we go again!
Harry: What's your deal?
Negolas: You wanna take this inside do ya?!
Harry: You should be in this class- not teaching it.
Negolas: I challenge you to a duel! Ha Ha Ha! *eerie look*
Harry: A what?
Negolas: Bring it! This is a karate duel! Just F.Y.I.!
Harry: *whispers to boil kid* Weird-o.
Negolas: *crow pose*
Harry: *runs away into the castle*
IN A HALLWAY
Harry: *sees Hermione and stops running* Hermione! I've got to ask you something-
Hermione: What is it Harry?
Harry: Will you go out with me?
Hermione: I thought we already discussed this?
Harry: I know I know- but will you?
Hermione: No
Harry: Yes
Hermione: No
Harry: Yes
Hermione *slowly* Noooo
Harry: *slowly* Yessss
Hermione: No
Harry: No
Hermione: Yes
Harry: Ha! Yes! Score! *happy dance* uh huh uh huh uh huh
Hermione: Harry- I'd go out with Malfoy before we ever go out.
Malfoy: *turns corner* *acting like a thug* Hey babe.
Hermione: *links arms with Malfoy and heads for the Great Hall*
Harry: Noooo.... *on knees* *hallway goes dark and a beam of light comes down on him* Noooo!!! *half crying*
OUTSIDE THE GREAT HALL
Harry: *sobbing a little*
Ron: There, there Harry. *opens door* Holy Guacamole!!
(inside it's dark except for the flashing neon lights, confetti, and everyone dancing. Jordan Lee is working the turntables) (On the staff table is Malfoy break dancing)
Hermione: *shouting to Malfoy* And windmill, and windmill, and windmill...
Harry: What the heck is going on here?!
Dumbledore: *walks into Great Hall*
(The room fell silent)
Ron: We're sure in a sticky widget.
Dumbledore: -'cause whatever it is- I wanna join!
(Party starts up again) Yah!!!!
10 MINUTES LATER
Dumbledore: *walks to close to turn tables and his hair gets caught*My wig- I mean hair! *wig- I mean hair falls off* *grabs wig and quickly puts it on* *then starts partying again*
Jordan Lee: Well, that wasted 38 seconds of my life.
Harry: *sitting in corner feeling sorry for himself* Could my life get any worse?
(just then see McGonagall and Dumbledor making out)
Harry: Yeah. I guess it could...
Ron: OH MY GOD! Not again...
