DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the plot. The characters, places, and
anything else you recognize all belong to the wonderful J.K. Rowling. The
song belongs to the people who wrote the songs for the musical "Aida;"
namely, Elton John and Tim Rice...and Disney probably fits in there
somewhere. That is all.
A STEP TOO FAR
Written: April 2004
Chapters: 1
Rating: G
Genre: Romance/Songfic
Hermione walked into the Great Hall, spotted Ron and Harry at the Gryffindor table, and walked over to meet them. She sat next to Harry, leaned over, and put her arms around his waist.
"Morning, love."
Harry glanced over, leaned down, and pecked Hermione on the cheek quickly. "Good morning. Sleep well?"
She nodded, but looked down slightly. She was, as often was the case, disappointed and confused at Harry's show of affection (or lack thereof) and had to wonder if there was something really wrong or if it was just a mood he was in lately.
*It's so strange he doesn't show me
More affection than he needs*
"What are you doing today?" asked Harry.
"Mmm...it's Saturday. I think I'll—"
"Go read a nice book?" interjected Ron, wearing a teasing grin.
"Well, actually, I was hoping we could just be together for a while," she said to Harry. "Nothing special, I'd just like to walk around for a bit...if that's all right with you, of course."
"Of course it's all right. Here, let's just finish breakfast and we can wander off outside."
After about twenty minutes, both Hermione and Harry were done eating. They waved a quick goodbye to Ron, who was still busy with his bacon, and headed for the door to the Entrance Hall. Harry stepped ahead of Hermione for a moment and held the door open for her.
She smiled. "Thank you, Harry. You're so sweet."
Harry simply shrugged. "I suppose it's habit, but...you're welcome."
For the second time in a period of about twenty-five minutes, Harry's behaviour and words had Hermione confused and looking quite downcast.
*Almost formal; too respectful
Never takes romantic leads*
They strolled outside, hand in hand, into the chilly, damp, early spring weather. Harry led Hermione to the lake, where they watched the giant squid floating under the water's surface for a while. Then they walked to the Quidditch pitch, around the edge of the forbidden forest, and to random other locations on the Hogwarts grounds.
As Hermione's eyes flicked occasionally upward to Harry's face from where her head lay on his shoulder, she noticed that the look on his face became progressively distant. Finally, she lifted her head off his shoulder, stopped walking, and faced him full on. Harry turned to her, coming out of his trance, and tilted his head slightly. "Is anything wrong?"
"I don't know, is there?"
"What do you mean?"
"You just looked...very detached for a moment. What's on your mind?" She was hoping to hear something along the lines of "you" or "us" or "how much I love you." Instead, it was...
"Nothing. Sorry, I guess I'm just not quite awake yet."
Hermione could tell, however, that something else was going on.
*There are times when I imagine
I'm not always on his mind*
She let it go, and they continued to walk. Finally, the sun had come out and dried a few patches of the dew-soaked grass. After about an hour or so, Harry and Hermione sat down beneath a tall maple, and Harry pulled Hermione into his lap. She was pleased with the gesture, but sensed it was more out of obligation than anything else.
Hermione sighed contentedly and rested her head on his chest, trying to convince herself it was all okay, it was only a phase, and soon it would be how it had been when they had started going steady. "Harry?"
"Hmm?"
"I hope we're together for a long time."
"Mm...yeah."
Hermione sighed again, out of despair this time, and simply tried to let herself believe he was holding her this way because he really wanted to...
*He's not thinking what I'm thinking Always half a step behind
Always half a step behind*
Late that night, Harry sat behind the curtains of his bed, knees pulled up to his chest. He glanced at his watch. Only fifteen minutes more, and he would creep out of the dorm room for his usual late night rendezvous with his love.
Oh, him. It was his entire fault Harry was so confused...and it was all his doing when he had those moments of pure bliss. But poor Hermione...what was Harry doing to her? One of his best friends, and he was hurting her. He had never felt this confused before.
*I'm in every kind of trouble
Can't you tell? Just look at me*
"Nothing," Harry had said. "Nothing" was on his mind when Hermione had asked...but it had been his entire life. Everything that had him crazed and grounded and elated and depressed and confused all at once. On the one hand, Harry was being unfair to his best friend, and he hated it. He couldn't stand being unable to give her the warmth and devotion she deserved, but he couldn't bring himself to live that much of a lie. On the other hand, the false relationship with Hermione gave him a proper mask behind which he could conceal his real relationship. The relationship that, were it discovered, could turn the lives of everyone connected with him into pure chaos.
*Half ecstatic; half dejected All in all, I'm all at sea*
During the summer, when Hermione had confessed her feelings for Harry, it had seemed only natural that they should be together. After all, was it not true that some of the best romantic relationships had foundations in friendship? It was a simple choice...he had said that he felt the same. And in the very beginning of the year, it had been easy to act as a couple should. But as time went on, his affection waned, and both were left in a miserable bond which neither was willing to break.
*Easy terms I thought I wanted
Fill me now with chilling dread*
Harry was fully aware that being a teenager meant facing problems, especially in the area of romance and dating. No one else he knew was facing a problem like his, though. Who else would understand his feigning love for a girl, while actually in love with another, a boy? Even were it known fact that Harry was interested only in men, no one would ever assume that the object of his affections was the person it was.
*You could never know the chaos Of a life turned on its head
Of a life turned on its head*
At last, the clock's hands moved to 1:00. Harry crept out of his room, down the stairs, and into the common room. He glimpsed Hermione on one of the couches, asleep over a large textbook. She was studying late because she had been out all day with him...He conjured a blanket, draped it over her, and gave her a whispered apology before turning to the portrait hole and walking off to meet his lover...
~*~*~*~*~
A tall, slender, blonde figure leaned against the door of the deserted classroom, waiting for Harry to arrive. Draco wrapped his cloak tightly about himself and shivered slightly. It was cold in the places they always had to meet, but it was worth it, just to spend a few hours in Harry's arms.
Was it right, though? They were from two completely different worlds...one had been raised among Muggles and destined to kill or be killed in a final battle against the most evil being known to the wizarding world; the other had grown up in a home that discouraged any contact, however remote, with Muggles, unless it was to harm them, and was expected to become a follower of the man (was he even a man?) who was the other boy's mortal enemy. And all this was without mentioning that both members of the relationship were male. Surely even just that factor would cause their involvement with each other to be frowned upon.
*I am certain that I love him But a love can be misplaced*
All his life, his father had let it be known that Draco was to grow up learning the dark arts, and to take the Dark Mark when he came of age. Harry Potter and those who held his ideals were the enemy; unless, by some twisted miracle, Harry turned evil himself, Draco was not to do anything as minimally friendly as lending him a quill. These late night sessions went against everything he had ever been taught, but Draco found that when Harry held him and pressed his mouth to Draco's, none of it seemed to matter.
*Have I compromised my people
In my passion and my haste? *
In another time, another place, the two could be together unconditionally. With the circumstances what they were, however...it was all but impossible to let the world know that they, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, were in love. Both would be considered traitors to the causes they were supposed to support; both would be shunned forever. Their love was strong, but it would be hard to withstand the pressures of the society they lived in.
*I could be his life's companion Anywhere but where we are Am I leader? Am I traitor? Did I take a step too far?
Did I take a step too far? *
"Draco?"
Draco turned from where he now stood at the window and saw Harry shutting the door behind him. He walked over, placed his hands at the back of Harry's head, and whispered, "You're late."
"Well then," replied Harry, "I suppose I'll just have to stay a bit later than usual. Unless you'd rather get rid of me."
He found himself pulled roughly forward, and soon Draco's tongue had made its way to his. They remained kissing for a moment before Harry pulled away to murmur, "Does this mean I'll be staying?" Draco's only response was to slowly sink to the floor, dragging Harry down with him, and turn the dark-haired boy over on his back as he brought their mouths together again.
It was nearly dawn before Harry and Draco left to go back to their dormitories. Both boys were shirtless by this time and their hair was mussed; even in the cold of the stone classroom, they had managed to keep each other quite warm. As Harry fastened his cloak, he looked up at Draco.
"Tonight at 1:15, again?"
"Make it 12:45," answered Draco, stealing one last kiss. "I don't think I can wait that long."
Harry left the classroom, and five minutes later Draco headed in the opposite direction for the Slytherin common room. Harry stopped outside the portrait, smoothed his hair and clothing, and gave the Fat Lady the password. He entered the common room and saw Hermione by the fire, reading her book again. As Harry closed the portrait, she looked up.
"Where were you?" she asked, looking at him somewhat suspiciously.
"Hi, Hermione...I had an insomniac night; couldn't sleep for my life. I just kind of roamed the castle."
"Didn't run into Filch or Mrs. Norris?"
"No...I guess I was lucky. Plus I had the map. Listen, I'm going up to see if I can get at least an hour of sleep, all right? I'll meet you at breakfast."
"All right, then...I'll...see you later."
As Harry retreated up the stairs to his bedroom, Hermione looked back at him, then gazed into the flames of the fireplace, questioning herself as to what she could have done wrong.
Once upstairs, Harry sat on his bed, face buried in his pillow, willing sleep to come to him as he asked himself what kind of mess he had gotten into.
In the Slytherin dormitories, Draco sat on the windowsill, staring out at the streaks of light cutting across the early morning sky, and wondered what could possibly become of himself and Harry if they were ever discovered, and how they could go on living the way they had been.
*Did I take a step too far? *
[ .end. ]
song belongs to the people who wrote the songs for the musical "Aida;"
namely, Elton John and Tim Rice...and Disney probably fits in there
somewhere. That is all.
A STEP TOO FAR
Written: April 2004
Chapters: 1
Rating: G
Genre: Romance/Songfic
Hermione walked into the Great Hall, spotted Ron and Harry at the Gryffindor table, and walked over to meet them. She sat next to Harry, leaned over, and put her arms around his waist.
"Morning, love."
Harry glanced over, leaned down, and pecked Hermione on the cheek quickly. "Good morning. Sleep well?"
She nodded, but looked down slightly. She was, as often was the case, disappointed and confused at Harry's show of affection (or lack thereof) and had to wonder if there was something really wrong or if it was just a mood he was in lately.
*It's so strange he doesn't show me
More affection than he needs*
"What are you doing today?" asked Harry.
"Mmm...it's Saturday. I think I'll—"
"Go read a nice book?" interjected Ron, wearing a teasing grin.
"Well, actually, I was hoping we could just be together for a while," she said to Harry. "Nothing special, I'd just like to walk around for a bit...if that's all right with you, of course."
"Of course it's all right. Here, let's just finish breakfast and we can wander off outside."
After about twenty minutes, both Hermione and Harry were done eating. They waved a quick goodbye to Ron, who was still busy with his bacon, and headed for the door to the Entrance Hall. Harry stepped ahead of Hermione for a moment and held the door open for her.
She smiled. "Thank you, Harry. You're so sweet."
Harry simply shrugged. "I suppose it's habit, but...you're welcome."
For the second time in a period of about twenty-five minutes, Harry's behaviour and words had Hermione confused and looking quite downcast.
*Almost formal; too respectful
Never takes romantic leads*
They strolled outside, hand in hand, into the chilly, damp, early spring weather. Harry led Hermione to the lake, where they watched the giant squid floating under the water's surface for a while. Then they walked to the Quidditch pitch, around the edge of the forbidden forest, and to random other locations on the Hogwarts grounds.
As Hermione's eyes flicked occasionally upward to Harry's face from where her head lay on his shoulder, she noticed that the look on his face became progressively distant. Finally, she lifted her head off his shoulder, stopped walking, and faced him full on. Harry turned to her, coming out of his trance, and tilted his head slightly. "Is anything wrong?"
"I don't know, is there?"
"What do you mean?"
"You just looked...very detached for a moment. What's on your mind?" She was hoping to hear something along the lines of "you" or "us" or "how much I love you." Instead, it was...
"Nothing. Sorry, I guess I'm just not quite awake yet."
Hermione could tell, however, that something else was going on.
*There are times when I imagine
I'm not always on his mind*
She let it go, and they continued to walk. Finally, the sun had come out and dried a few patches of the dew-soaked grass. After about an hour or so, Harry and Hermione sat down beneath a tall maple, and Harry pulled Hermione into his lap. She was pleased with the gesture, but sensed it was more out of obligation than anything else.
Hermione sighed contentedly and rested her head on his chest, trying to convince herself it was all okay, it was only a phase, and soon it would be how it had been when they had started going steady. "Harry?"
"Hmm?"
"I hope we're together for a long time."
"Mm...yeah."
Hermione sighed again, out of despair this time, and simply tried to let herself believe he was holding her this way because he really wanted to...
*He's not thinking what I'm thinking Always half a step behind
Always half a step behind*
Late that night, Harry sat behind the curtains of his bed, knees pulled up to his chest. He glanced at his watch. Only fifteen minutes more, and he would creep out of the dorm room for his usual late night rendezvous with his love.
Oh, him. It was his entire fault Harry was so confused...and it was all his doing when he had those moments of pure bliss. But poor Hermione...what was Harry doing to her? One of his best friends, and he was hurting her. He had never felt this confused before.
*I'm in every kind of trouble
Can't you tell? Just look at me*
"Nothing," Harry had said. "Nothing" was on his mind when Hermione had asked...but it had been his entire life. Everything that had him crazed and grounded and elated and depressed and confused all at once. On the one hand, Harry was being unfair to his best friend, and he hated it. He couldn't stand being unable to give her the warmth and devotion she deserved, but he couldn't bring himself to live that much of a lie. On the other hand, the false relationship with Hermione gave him a proper mask behind which he could conceal his real relationship. The relationship that, were it discovered, could turn the lives of everyone connected with him into pure chaos.
*Half ecstatic; half dejected All in all, I'm all at sea*
During the summer, when Hermione had confessed her feelings for Harry, it had seemed only natural that they should be together. After all, was it not true that some of the best romantic relationships had foundations in friendship? It was a simple choice...he had said that he felt the same. And in the very beginning of the year, it had been easy to act as a couple should. But as time went on, his affection waned, and both were left in a miserable bond which neither was willing to break.
*Easy terms I thought I wanted
Fill me now with chilling dread*
Harry was fully aware that being a teenager meant facing problems, especially in the area of romance and dating. No one else he knew was facing a problem like his, though. Who else would understand his feigning love for a girl, while actually in love with another, a boy? Even were it known fact that Harry was interested only in men, no one would ever assume that the object of his affections was the person it was.
*You could never know the chaos Of a life turned on its head
Of a life turned on its head*
At last, the clock's hands moved to 1:00. Harry crept out of his room, down the stairs, and into the common room. He glimpsed Hermione on one of the couches, asleep over a large textbook. She was studying late because she had been out all day with him...He conjured a blanket, draped it over her, and gave her a whispered apology before turning to the portrait hole and walking off to meet his lover...
~*~*~*~*~
A tall, slender, blonde figure leaned against the door of the deserted classroom, waiting for Harry to arrive. Draco wrapped his cloak tightly about himself and shivered slightly. It was cold in the places they always had to meet, but it was worth it, just to spend a few hours in Harry's arms.
Was it right, though? They were from two completely different worlds...one had been raised among Muggles and destined to kill or be killed in a final battle against the most evil being known to the wizarding world; the other had grown up in a home that discouraged any contact, however remote, with Muggles, unless it was to harm them, and was expected to become a follower of the man (was he even a man?) who was the other boy's mortal enemy. And all this was without mentioning that both members of the relationship were male. Surely even just that factor would cause their involvement with each other to be frowned upon.
*I am certain that I love him But a love can be misplaced*
All his life, his father had let it be known that Draco was to grow up learning the dark arts, and to take the Dark Mark when he came of age. Harry Potter and those who held his ideals were the enemy; unless, by some twisted miracle, Harry turned evil himself, Draco was not to do anything as minimally friendly as lending him a quill. These late night sessions went against everything he had ever been taught, but Draco found that when Harry held him and pressed his mouth to Draco's, none of it seemed to matter.
*Have I compromised my people
In my passion and my haste? *
In another time, another place, the two could be together unconditionally. With the circumstances what they were, however...it was all but impossible to let the world know that they, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, were in love. Both would be considered traitors to the causes they were supposed to support; both would be shunned forever. Their love was strong, but it would be hard to withstand the pressures of the society they lived in.
*I could be his life's companion Anywhere but where we are Am I leader? Am I traitor? Did I take a step too far?
Did I take a step too far? *
"Draco?"
Draco turned from where he now stood at the window and saw Harry shutting the door behind him. He walked over, placed his hands at the back of Harry's head, and whispered, "You're late."
"Well then," replied Harry, "I suppose I'll just have to stay a bit later than usual. Unless you'd rather get rid of me."
He found himself pulled roughly forward, and soon Draco's tongue had made its way to his. They remained kissing for a moment before Harry pulled away to murmur, "Does this mean I'll be staying?" Draco's only response was to slowly sink to the floor, dragging Harry down with him, and turn the dark-haired boy over on his back as he brought their mouths together again.
It was nearly dawn before Harry and Draco left to go back to their dormitories. Both boys were shirtless by this time and their hair was mussed; even in the cold of the stone classroom, they had managed to keep each other quite warm. As Harry fastened his cloak, he looked up at Draco.
"Tonight at 1:15, again?"
"Make it 12:45," answered Draco, stealing one last kiss. "I don't think I can wait that long."
Harry left the classroom, and five minutes later Draco headed in the opposite direction for the Slytherin common room. Harry stopped outside the portrait, smoothed his hair and clothing, and gave the Fat Lady the password. He entered the common room and saw Hermione by the fire, reading her book again. As Harry closed the portrait, she looked up.
"Where were you?" she asked, looking at him somewhat suspiciously.
"Hi, Hermione...I had an insomniac night; couldn't sleep for my life. I just kind of roamed the castle."
"Didn't run into Filch or Mrs. Norris?"
"No...I guess I was lucky. Plus I had the map. Listen, I'm going up to see if I can get at least an hour of sleep, all right? I'll meet you at breakfast."
"All right, then...I'll...see you later."
As Harry retreated up the stairs to his bedroom, Hermione looked back at him, then gazed into the flames of the fireplace, questioning herself as to what she could have done wrong.
Once upstairs, Harry sat on his bed, face buried in his pillow, willing sleep to come to him as he asked himself what kind of mess he had gotten into.
In the Slytherin dormitories, Draco sat on the windowsill, staring out at the streaks of light cutting across the early morning sky, and wondered what could possibly become of himself and Harry if they were ever discovered, and how they could go on living the way they had been.
*Did I take a step too far? *
[ .end. ]
