Janeway lay motionless listening to the sound of heavy breathing around her, and the grizzly bear snoring from Chakotay. She'd thought she was in the middle of another nightmare and the collectors of the damned were seconds away from swallowing her. At the last possible instant she realized she was really awake and the monster this time was only her first officer.
Her first thought was to smother him with a pillow, luckily she decided on her second thought of just taking a walk around her ship to shake off some of the nightmare-mood. She had gotten a few hours of real sleep before the monster woke her up, but knowing there was no way she'd be able to fall back to sleep she slipped from the ready room with her cane, blanket and troubling thoughts.
She walked quietly around several sleeping bodies on the floor of the ready room as well as the bridge. Looking around the bridge she couldn't help the big smile when she saw Harry Kim sleeping in her chair. He really does sleep here a lot. This time, however, he wasn't alone, although he was the one who was suppose to be awake. She just continued to smile and let him sleep. It wasn't like there was anything to stay awake for lately.
Since the bridge was one of the few places with environmental and life support it had become a hotel as well. Everyone who had a bridge shift close to their sleeping shift just ended up where they were. It was much too difficult now to get from the bridge to the cargo bay or sickbay when tired.
Janeway tiptoed to the turbolift. She and Lieutenant Vorick had rigged enough power to keep the lift running, sometimes. There were very few of them left that could crawl through the jefferies-tubes now. It was still a risk of getting stuck in the lift but a risk worth taking at this point. The lift only cooperated half the time and Janeway was hoping it would be that half. She slipped inside unnoticed, and the lift came to life.
There were several decks of the ship that she wouldn't even be able to take a late night stroll around. She'd just have to settle for a shorter walk, which physically was a blessing. She'd decided to start on the lowest usable deck and work her way up. The lift doors opened on command, which was another reprieve of good luck. She didn't want to have to wake someone up to rescue her from her ship once again.
One third of the crew had already been put into stasis. She bypassed both cargo bays hoping to avoid anyone and their questions. The other two thirds of the crew were either sleeping, working on finding a new cure or keeping the ship and them alive.
Pulling her blanket tighter to keep some of the chill from her bones she crept slowly down the corridors of her ship. She'd always felt she had a personal relationship with Voyager. To most people that would sound crazy, but Kathryn Janeway felt as close to the titanium-beast as she did to any person. Voyager had seen them through so many disasters that even the skeptical would think she had real blood running through her bio-neural circuitry. Janeway considered Voyager as much a part of the family as she did anyone. They were all hurting physically and mentally, Voyager was no exception.
The red-glow of the emergency lighting made it seem eerie, that and the dead quiet. She had become so accustomed to the humming sound of the engines that the silence felt more like a graveyard than a starship. She tried desperately to keep those kinds of thoughts out, but the atmosphere and the reality of their situation was overpowering.
The nightmares she'd tried so hard to keep imprisoned in the back of her mind escaped in the picture-perfect ambiance. The icy tomb-like air and deadly silence turned Voyager into a ghost ship, something that was closer to becoming reality than Janeway wanted to believe.
Moving along at snails pace intensified her feeling of unrest. She knew she was fully awake this time but the impression of being watched was heavy in the stale air. Get a grip of yourself, it's only your imagination, she worked at convincing herself while looking behind her every few seconds.
There was never anyone there, only the distorted ghostly faces in her own mind. At one point she thought she heard moaning, maybe that of a child. Knowing that was impossible but not trusting her own mind anymore she started looking through some of the empty quarters. She of course found nothing but empty rooms. Maybe it's Voyager herself crying. Right now that thought didn't seem half as strange as some she'd been having. She lovingly brushed her hand along the wall just as she had touched so many of her crew over the years. A show of compassion and concern that her crew had become very accustomed too and respected a great deal. It seemed to have the same effect on her ship as it did her crew. The moaning stopped, even if it was only in her mind. I'll figure this out Voyager, I promise.
Without realizing where she even was she walked into the messhall. The smell of brewing coffee, or something posing as such brought her out of her reverie. A single dim light was on back in the kitchen area. She followed her nose and her awakened appetite.
"Captain!" Neelix said with more than surprise. "What are you doing up so early?"
Seeing the shock of fright in his eyes made her smile. "Sorry, Neelix, I didn't mean to scare you."
"I think it's more just the atmosphere on the ship these days. Some are saying Voyager is even haunted." Neelix relaxed and got a clean mug from the rack. He poured her some brew without even asking.
"Thanks," she took the offered mug. "That ghostly feeling is going around, but I assure you my ship is not haunted. She's just feeling the pains of aging that we all are, well most of us are." She amended with a smile.
"Captain, I'm…"
"Neelix, I'm not blaming you, not at all. I'm grateful at least you and Icheb are ok. In fact, there is something I've wanted to talk to you about."
Neelix pulled up a chair ready to listen. "Shoot, I'll do anything I can to help."
"I'm counting on that." She set her cup down. "I want you, Icheb and the Doctor to take a shuttle and leave Voyager if and when there is no chance of us coming out of this alive." His shocked expression was expected but she continued. "If we can't find the right cure soon we are all going to die, and that includes Voyager. The only chance the three of you will have is to get away from the ship. Find some nice planet to stay on. I want… no, I need to know that you will be able to live out your lives in some resemblance of peace and happiness."
Neelix could hardly talk, "but, Captain, we can't just leave you."
"You can and will, Mr. Neelix, that is not a request, it's an order from your captain. I don't take pleasure in any of this, but if I know that even a small fraction of my crew has a chance to stay alive and find somewhere to call home then I'll at least know I didn't fail everyone." She saw he was about to protest again. "Neelix, you the Doctor, and Icheb may be the only legacy left of Voyager. I need to know that in some small way Voyager and her crew will go on living."
"Captain, no matter what happens you did not fail anyone. If Voyager's fate is to only live inside of our hearts it will be because of its great captain and crew, not despite them." Neelix looked as close to tears as Janeway had ever seen him. She put her hand over his not trusting her own emotions. "If, we get to that point we will do it, but I'm counting on being a part of this crew for a long time, we all are."
Janeway smiled. "So am I, Neelix, so am I. This isn't over yet, not by a long shot. I just want the three of you to be prepared for anything."
"I understand." He got up to refill her mug. "Since you are here how about some breakfast?"
"Why not, for some reason this aging thing sure makes me hungry." They were both laughing now.
"Hungry enough for some nice leola root?" He couldn't help it.
"Not even if I was a ghost." Janeway's smile continued, and for these few precious minutes her thoughts were free from this living nightmare.
=^=
With each passing day they lost more of the crew to their stasis existence. They were running on a skeleton crew as well as a skeleton ship. The loss of gravitation on several decks, including sickbay had been the latest disaster to happen. The power fluctuation became impossible to control or predict. Casper continued to flourish while the crew continued to parish both health and emotional wise.
"Tom, watch it, I don't want to wear the stuff." Chakotay grumbled. Tom, Chakotay and Harry were trying the latest modified antidote on Casper.
"I am watching it. It's not my fault I'm getting so damn old I can't even see." The usually chipper and humorous Lieutenant Paris was anything but now. His hand was shaking along with his frazzled nerves.
"Just hand me the damn vial before you drop it." Chakotay was in no better shape. They had been doing double time working on another chance at a cure. So far they'd come up with nothing but empty hands and short fuses.
For a moment Tom considered throwing the tube of Casper at the commander, but his last bit of common sense kicked in and he left the isolation area. Quickly tossing his environmental suit aside he glanced at his wife laying in the plastic-coffin then left the cargo bay.
"Maybe I better go see if he's alright." Harry said with concern.
"No, let him alone. I think he has reached the end of his rope and the rest of us are not far behind." Chakotay could hardly believe their fate and yet it was clear they had about run out of time and options. He would give anything to find a cure, the right answers, anything to stop this aging phenomenon. Knowing that Janeway would be feeling the sting of failure and blame only made him feel worse. There was nothing he could do to stop this or carry part of the burden for her. A captain must go down with the ship and nothing he did or said would change that.
He was so deep in thought he didn't hear Janeway enter the room. She looked so small and frail inside the bulky suit. "Harry, why don't you take a break, I'll take over for a bit." Harry just nodded glad to be able to escape and go check on his friend. "How long have you been held up in here?" She sounded more tired than he felt.
"I'm not sure. I lost track a few hours ago." Chakotay tried to cover his exhaustion with a smile.
"That sounds about par for the course, any luck?" She asked with little or no hope of a positive answer. "Chakotay, we have to keep trying, but I'm afraid we're fighting a losing battle." The fatigue and despair had seeped in deeper than Casper.
He put the vial he'd been working on down and stared directly at her. "I'm not giving up, Kathryn, and neither are you!!"
"I'm not saying we should give up, but we have to be reasonable here. How much longer can we do this? Two thirds of the crew are already in stasis and the rest of us should be. I'm not giving up, I just don't know what else to do."
Chakotay touched her face shield with his gloved hand. "We do what we always have, we survive. I don't know the answer but I know that as long as there's a breath in us we have a fighting chance."
"I agree, but if that last breath is smothered out by Casper I refuse to let it win. If we're left with absolutely no choice I will destroy Voyager and Casper along with us."
Suddenly going down with the ship had a whole new meaning. "Kathryn, we can't…"
"No, we can't, but I can. I'm not asking for your help or even your approval Chakotay, but I refuse to let this monster loose so it can destroy anyone else."
"How do we know it will destroy anyone else? After all it is a Delta Quadrant species. Neelix and Icheb haven't been affected by it. Is it really worth our lives to destroy it?" Of course he knew it was and he also knew if he'd been the captain he would do the same thing. It was just hard to accept that their lives together would be snuffed out before they had a real chance to begin.
"If we could be sure then this decision wouldn't be so hard to make, but we can't and we can't chance more lives being destroyed by this monster." She looked directly at the Casper filled containers. "I don't know how, but I know the cure lies inside of the beast. If we don't find it, it dies with us." As if Casper knew what she was saying it started to swirl wildly inside the containers. You can't elude me much longer. One way or another, Casper, I will win.
Chakotay could only reach out and take her thickly gloved hand in his. He would follow this woman to the depths of hell if he had too, and he just might.
=^=
"Doctor, how is she?" Naomi asked before she was even through the door. She made her way over to the other side of the cargo bay in record time.
"Your mother is stable for now." The Doctor had just finished doing what he could to repair Samantha's fractured hip. His limited use of equipment and sickbay being of no use anymore made the task difficult at best. "She may require some surgery later to fully stabilize it, but for now it's the best I can do."
Naomi was close to tears as she looked at her mother's sleeping form, which to Naomi didn't even resemble her mother anymore. "How did this happen?"
She received her answer from Neelix who had walked over to them. "All we know is she was working with Lieutenant Vorick when she fell. He got her here as quickly as he could." Neelix put his arm around her. Naomi was the closest thing he would ever have to a daughter and he treated her as such.
"Naomi," the Doctor continued. "Her fall wasn't really that bad, but when the body ages so do the bones and they can break much easier than when you're young. It's something that's easily fixed, under normal circumstances."
"Well, a lot of good that does us since this is about as abnormal as it gets." Naomi was trying to keep the tears back with the anger she felt at this whole aging mess. She had gone from a carefree happy young girl to a senior citizen in a matter of weeks, and her emotional state couldn't keep up.
"I won't argue that, but for now all we can do is keep her stable. The best thing for Sam now is to put her in stasis. She was close to that point anyway." The Doctor had already gotten her stasis unit ready.
"I just hate this, I hate the whole thing." The tears would not be stopped any longer. Naomi turned to the only father figure she had known for comfort.
Neelix held her while she cried, his own emotions raw and ready to burst as well.
The Doctor, with the help of Tom Paris gently moved the sleeping Samantha into the stasis chamber. Tom fearing he was about to be next made a quick escape without saying a word. The Doctor just shook his head smiling inside. They all knew Tom Paris wouldn't go in quietly. He slid the covering tightly closed and started the stasis procedure. "She'll be alright, Naomi, this is the best thing for her right now." The Doctor didn't know what else to say.
Naomi had wiped her tears and turned from Neelix brushing her hand lovingly over the stasis unit. "She better be," was her only vocal response. I love you, mom.
"Come on, Naomi, I'll fix you some hot tea and I think I can even find you one of those cinnamon rolls you both love." Food wasn't the cure all, but it sure couldn't hurt a wounded soul.
Naomi left quietly with Neelix, briefly making eye contact with Icheb as they passed. No matter how old she was now the little girl's crush on Icheb was still there. He would do anything to help Naomi, but he was just as tongue-tied as her. He watched in silence as they left the cargo bay.
"Come on, Icheb." Harry Kim called out pointing towards Casper. "We've got a cure to find." Icheb headed over to the forcefield knowing this was the best way he could help any of them.
=^=
"Harry, you shouldn't be in here alone." Captain Janeway startled him as she disabled the forcefield long enough to walk through. He almost jumped out of his skin, or rather the environmental suit. Janeway chuckled at his reaction. "I seem to have that effect on everyone lately."
"It's nothing personal, Captain." Harry smiled now as well. "Things are just too creepy around here." He looked at the two containers brimming with the source of creepiness. "Icheb was here, he just went to collect more vials from sickbay."
"I guess I don't have to ask how it's going." Janeway maneuvered the bulky suit over to a stool. It had become too difficult to stand for an extended period anymore. They were all showing their age physically and emotionally now. The once vibrant captain and crew were now reduced to a step above the walking dead, if they were walking at all.
"The only thing that's going, or should I say growing is Casper. I don't know how much longer we can keep this stuff contained." Harry's total exhaustion was evident.
"As long as it takes, Harry, as long as it takes." Janeway's tone mirrored Harry's, but her determination hadn't faltered. With each passing hour it became clear the battle was about over, but it was the victory Janeway would never relinquish to Casper. "We'll either find the right cure or die trying. Either way, Harry, this monster will not escape."
"My vote is on a cure then." He said with little conviction. "Captain, I just want you to know that no matter how this ends up I'll never regret one day I've spent on Voyager under the command of the best Captain Starfleet ever had. I wouldn't trade any of this, not even to be back in the Alpha Quadrant."
Harry's genuine sincerity fuelled the fire of determination in Janeway. How can I possibly let him down? I can't let any of them down and I refuse to give up. She looked lovingly into his still boyish dark eyes. "Thank you, Harry, that means a lot to me." She put her gloved hand over his. "I'd like to promise you that we'll find a way out of this, but I can't. All I can do is promise not to give up trying."
"That's the only promise we need, Captain." Harry wished he could hide the moisture in his eyes, but Captain Janeway's were brimming over as well so it didn't really matter. "We're in this together, all of us." Not that we have a choice. He looked at Casper with more than moist disdain in his eyes.
Either Casper knew what he was thinking or Voyager had very bad timing. The end result was the same though. Both Janeway and Harry were thrown roughly to the deck with the rolling motion of the ship. Lights began to flicker and the forcefield fizzled on and off. "Harry, the forcefield!" Janeway yelled, as the ship slowed to a tolerable motion of waves.
"I've got it!" Harry stumbled to the control panel as several vials of Casper fell to the deck. The forcefield stabilized quickly along with the battered ship. "It's holding, we're ok." He turned in time to catch the last few wisps of white vapor dissolve around Janeway's head. "Captain!" Harry stood motionless, too sick to his stomach and too shocked at what he'd just seen.
"It's ok, Harry, I'm alright." She looked up at him from her position on the floor. He didn't move. "Harry, how about helping an old lady up?"
"Are you two ok?" They heard the Doctor yell from across the room. That was enough to bring common sense back. Harry moved quickly to help his captain up. "Are you hurt?" He heard the Doctor's voice echoing with his own.
"I don't think so, this padded suit comes in handy at times." She was checking the suit for any tares or cracks.
"Are you sure?" The Doctor was standing on the other side of the forcefield now. "You'd better let me check you out."
"Would you quit fussing, I'm fine." She looked across to the rows of sleeping crewmen. She didn't even need to ask.
"None the worse for wear as far as I can tell. It's a good thing we bolted all of them down." The Doctor answered her unspoken question.
"Captain, Casper…" Harry pointed to the broken vials. There was no trace left of the escaped cloud.
"I know, I felt its unpleasant chill, but I doubt it really matters at this point." She glanced at the two containers. "Besides, protective gear comes in handy."
"Not handy enough." The Doctor was not pleased. "Captain, I want you out of there so I can check you over to make sure."
"Good grief, I don't have time for a physical, Doctor." She grabbed one of the remaining full vials. "Go check on the rest of the crew! I'm fine."
The Doctor just stomped off grumbling to himself. "Stubborn old woman."
"I heard that." Janeway hid her building smile. "That's twice, strike three and you're out Doctor."
He turned back around. "Well, at least you're counting, that's a good sign." He moved off to take care of someone who would appreciate his services.
Harry didn't hide his smile. "He is a brave little hologram."
"Brave, insufferable, and invaluable." Her smile unhidden now.
"I heard that, Captain, and I won't let you forget it." The Doctor yelled back from across the room.
Harry was laughing. "There will be no living with him now."
"Maybe dying isn't so bad." Janeway complained.
"I heard that too!"
Icheb saved her from her next comment as he walked in still wearing his environmental suit. "Sorry it took so long. Some of the vials didn't survive the ride. I had to go back and grab more."
"Your timing is perfect, Icheb." Harry let the forcefield down long enough to grant him access. "We lost a couple vials of our own, and not empty ones."
Icheb immediately looked concerned and directly at the captain. "Don't panic, Icheb, we're fine. Casper doesn't play well with others and evaporated." She took one of the trays of vials from him. "Let's just get back to work, shall we?"
No further comment was made as they continued undaunted to find the cure.
=^=
"I hate to say this, Commander, but… you look like hell." Janeway silently agreed with Tom while smiling at her first officer.
Chakotay dragged himself over to their table. "You wouldn't win any beauty contest yourself, Paris."
"I'm afraid none of us are blue-ribbon material anymore. I'd go so far as to say we wouldn't even qualify for the booby prize." Janeway added to the conversation.
"I guess you're right, Captain, and I was so looking forward to that last place ribbon too." Tom pretended to pout.
"I believe the Doctor has your ribbon ready, he's been calling for you." Chakotay said with a smirk knowing exactly what the Doctor wanted. "I think the color of the ribbon is yellow, for chicken." He couldn't help adding insult to injury.
"Be nice, Commander." Janeway chastised playfully.
"Yea, be nice. I was just having an important meeting with the captain." The knots in his stomach tightened.
"I'd call it more of a… stalling for time kind of meeting." Janeway joined in the teasing a bit.
Tom scowled at her. "I thought you were on my side."
"I'm always on your side, except when you're wrong." She smiled deviously. "Come to think of it, I guess I'm never on your side." She was hoping the playful banter would help him relax a bit.
"I'd laugh, but I'm sure the thrill would do me in." Poor Tom didn't see the humor in this at all. His turn in the coffin wasn't a joking matter, not in his eyes anyway.
"Come on, Paris, you'll be alright. Lighten up a bit." Chakotay tried a more direct approach. "Just think of this as a little nap."
"Yea, a dirt nap maybe, without the dirt. I can think of a million reasons why not." He was serious.
"Maybe you should think of the one reason why you should, to save your life perhaps?" Janeway was about to order him to take the nap. "If you won't do it for yourself think of you wife and daughter, do it for them."
Tom took a deep breath hoping to calm the colossal fear rising. "They are all I've been thinking about for weeks. I just never thought it would come to this. Somehow we always manage to beat the odds, and I manage to not get trapped inside one of those tombs. This wasn't suppose to turn out this way."
"Your problem, Paris, is that you're thinking of the stasis chambers as tombs and not as a life saving tool. Nothing is going to happen and when you wake up you'll be the same annoying self you always are."
"Well, that gives me something to look forward to then. I'll just dream about all the ways I can find to bug you, Commander."
"See, now that's the spirit. Make sure you take mental notes so you don't forget." Janeway teased.
"Aye, Captain." Tom stood up ready to try to face his destiny. "I guess I'll see you later."
Janeway stood as well and gave him a needed hug. "You'll see all of us later, and a much younger version too. Just try to relax, you're going to make it."
Tom didn't answer not trusting his voice at the moment as he walked slowly out the door.
"Sleep tight, Lieutenant. Don't let the bed bugs bite." Chakotay couldn't help calling out. He received a nice jab from the end of a cane.
"That wasn't nice either, Commander." Janeway smiled innocently sitting back down.
Chakotay was rubbing his arm. "I'm beginning to regret making a weapon for you." His smile had no innocent quality to it.
"I've never enjoyed a gift more. This cane has a no return policy, and so do I." She dropped the innocent act cold. "You're stuck with both of us."
"I can live with that." He squeezed her hand affectionately.
"Let's just hope Casper will give us a chance." They sat in silence letting old forbidden thoughts spring to life, a life it could be too late to dream of.
=^=
"What if I can't breathe?" Tom Paris was trying to put off the inevitable. "What if I wake up and get out, sleep walk even?" He refused to climb in.
"No need to worry about that, Pal." Harry revealed the contents hidden behind his back. It was an old combination lock and chain. "There's no way you can escape this time."
"Somehow that doesn't make me feel better, and where did you get that?" Tom wanted to find the nearest airlock and jump ship.
"I'll tell you after you wake from your beauty sleep." Harry was doing his best to help his friend.
"Come on, Paris, you're holding up the line here. I've got a list of elderly behind you." The Doctor was losing what little patients he had.
"I'm not far down on that list, Tom. I'll be right here beside you soon. Don't worry, it will be ok." Harry put a friendly hand on Tom's shoulder. "If I can do this, so can you. After the nightmares I've had lately I should be the one refusing to climb in."
Tom only nodded to Harry then walked around his empty unit to B'Elanna's. His first thought was to open it up and grab his wife and run. She looked so vulnerable, so alone, and so old. "What if something happens to her? I won't be here to help her if…"
"Nothing has happened to her so far, and I'll make sure it doesn't. All of the units have their own independent life support system, and you know that. Even if we lose all power to Voyager the units will continue to function," I hope. The Doctor silently added. "Now climb in, you're all going to be fine."
Tom touched the lid of B'Elanna's stasis unit hoping to gain enough courage to do this. He knew if she'd be the first one to tease him if she could, but he also knew she'd be the one to encourage and support. He quickly slid into his unit before he lost what little strength and dignity he had left. His eye remained focused on B'Elanna.
The Doctor moved the cover over him. "Good night, Mr. Paris." The last thought Tom had before oblivion took over belonged solely to his wife.
=^=
Over the next few days their numbers dwindled significantly as the stasis units filled up. The working crew now consisted of Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay, The Doctor, Neelix and Icheb. The Doctor had just finished getting Naomi Wildman settled in her unit. She could have lasted on the outside longer, but the Doctor was worried about her mental state at having to see the entire crew being put into stasis. She had had a hard time dealing with it since her mother had gone in. They all agreed this would be the best thing to do.
His next victims, however, would prove to be the hardest yet. "There you are, Captain, and just in time too." The Doctor wished it could be so easy.
"Not yet, Doctor. I've got a few things to take care of first." Captain Janeway didn't relish the thought of giving up her ship and crew, and possibly their lives.
"Quite honestly I would have worried if you'd agreed too quickly." At least he knew for sure her mental faculties were in tact. "I'm surprised you've held out this long, physically that is."
"My body tends to agree with you, but I'm not about to give up yet." She found the nearest chair and sat down though. "I need to talk to you first."
The Doctor joined her. He was sure he knew what was coming, or part of it anyway. "You want me to take command of the ship. As your ECH, I accept the position." Despite the situation he was feeling slightly proud.
Janeway smiled. "In part yes. This won't be the first time we've had to do this. I just hope it won't be the last." Her sad and defeated eyes told the whole picture that her mind and heart refused to accept.
"It won't be, Captain. I will never give up on finding the cure." The Doctor felt guilty that his first attempt at a cure had failed. "I don't take being in command lightly nor my responsibility as medical officer. If there is a way out of this I will find it."
"I know you will, Doctor. I have complete trust in all three of you, and there is no one I'd rather give the command of my ship over to, but…" Janeway knew he wasn't going to like this next part. "I need you to promise me two things."
"I'm listening." He had a bad feeling.
"First of all, I want your promise that under no circumstances, even if the ship is dead, if we're all dead, you are not to let Casper out of the containment units."
"I know, we've talked about this before, but I can't promise it won't escape in time. The forcefield won't hold much longer and from the looks of it the containers won't hold much longer either." The Doctor could promise all he wanted but Casper had the upper hand.
"Which brings me to the second promise. If the worst happens and there is nothing else the three of you can do to save us and the ship, I want you to destroy Voyager." She gave that a moment to sink in.
It did. "Captain, I…"
"This is not just a casual request, Doctor. It's a direct order from your commanding officer, who is still very much in her right mind."
"It sounds more like you are out of your mind and…"
"Hear me out, Doctor," she cut in. "When we all signed up to serve Starfleet we knew part of the job could be to sacrifice our lives if need be. There is nothing I want more than for this not to happen, but we have to prepare for the worst as well."
"Captain, even if the ship itself is dead the stasis units will remain alive, hopefully. Their independent life support can last for years. How can I just kill everyone on the ship knowing that?" The Doctor was frustrated and bewildered at her choice of action.
"I understand all that, Doctor, and destroying Voyager and her crew is not your choice it's mine. Your duty is only to follow my orders and initiate the self-destruct if it comes to that. I'm not doing this because I want to."
"Then why, it doesn't make sense."
"It's the only thing in this mess that does make sense. If we can't find the cure using Casper, I'm not about to unleash that thing on some unsuspecting ship or planet that may cross its path. Casper has caused enough damage to us. How can I, or anyone let that stuff loose knowing the havoc it can cause? The only choice we really have is to destroy it, and that means destroying Voyager and us along with it."
The Doctor couldn't sit still a second longer. He started to pace like he was the captain. "We don't know for sure that Casper will have the same effect on another species. After all this is its home. The Delta Quadrant and its millions of life forms could all be immune to the aging. Besides, if you're so hell bent on destroying Casper, why not just do it now and save the ship and crew? Why kill everyone?" He was so flustered he knew he wasn't thinking or speaking logically.
"No we don't know for sure, and that makes this the only possible choice. If we had a guarantee that Casper is safe for others we'd have released it long ago, but we don't, and I won't take the chance, even if it's a one in a million. Do you think I haven't thought this through a thousand times?"
"It sure doesn't sound like you have." The Doctor really thought she'd lost her mind.
"Come on, Doctor, if we could, which we can't, I'd just get rid of Casper now, but it would destroy us anyway. Without Casper there's no chance for a cure, and we don't have the power or the ability to destroy only it anymore." Janeway was feeling frustrated at his reaction, however, expected it might be.
"How do you know blowing up the ship will destroy it? If we can't prove it's alive, how can we be sure we can kill it?"
"I don't know! Maybe it will, maybe it won't. The only way to find out is to do it, and you will do it if it comes down to that. We are not going to just let it out to destroy the rest of this quadrant."
"So I suppose the entire crew accepted this crazy idea before they went into stasis?" He was almost shouting now.
"They knew the minute they signed up for Starfleet duty." Janeway shouted right back. "The possibility of giving up your life is always there, and they all know it. Of course I didn't discus this with each of them, but as their captain it's my responsibility to make the hard choices and theirs to follow orders, just as it is yours." Janeway was holding her cane so tightly her knuckles were turning white. If it would do any good she'd have thrown it at him long ago. She opted for a more dignified approach and got up to stand right in front of him. "Doctor, this is the hardest order any captain has to give, and I don't do it with pleasure. I hope to God it doesn't come down to this, but I have to know I can count on you to follow my orders and see this through to whatever end the fates have in store."
Her pleading eyes confirmed the heartbreak this was causing her. The Doctor's defenses softened slightly. "There's more to this than just using the ship to kill Casper isn't there?"
Janeway sighed deeply and closed her eyes. "If my crew is going to die I'd rather it be quick and painless and they unaware of what's going to happen. This may sound barbaric to you, but if given a choice between this and old age, what would you choose?"
"I don't know. I'd end up in oblivion either way, but the crew doesn't have too. You just said you didn't give them the choice so how can you know what they want?" He tried to sound calmer, but even to his own ears he didn't.
"Because I know them, because I know basic humanoid instincts, and I know that the preservation of life is only equaled by the dignity of death. "I'm doing this as much for them as you seem to think I'm to them." He could see she was about ready to lose some of that dignity in the form of tears.
"Does Commander Chakotay know about this?" This time he did sound more compassionate.
"Of course he does, and he agrees." She blinked her eyes a few time holding back the tears. "It will take three commanding officers to initiate the destruct sequence. We'll do our part before we go into stasis. If the time comes you will give your command code setting the time to self-destruct." She put her hand over his arm. "I know this is hard, but you can see we really don't have a choice, can't you? Either we find the cure or this ship and crew are dead anyway regardless of what happens to Casper. If there's nothing left for the three of you to do you have to set the self-destruct and get off the ship. Neelix and Icheb should have the shuttle all ready. Give yourselves enough time to get far enough away. It's the only way, Doctor, you know it as well as I do."
He put his head down feeling the defeat as keenly as anyone. "I understand, Captain, but can I ask you one thing?"
"Of course." She tried to force a smile holding tightly to his arm.
"If we'd have found a cure, what were you planning to do with Casper?"
"The same thing we're planning now, only not my ship and crew. It would have been different if we had had some kind of proof, other than its deadly side effects, that it is a life form or even just of its existence, but we have nothing. Not a clue as to what it is, nothing to document, nothing we can use to help us or any other species that could come in contact with it. As I see it the fate of Casper would end up the same either way. I would have no choice but to destroy it."
The Doctor thought that a rather cold and harsh fate for all of them, but he did understand now. Being the captain wasn't all he'd thought it would be and he was beginning to wish he didn't have to be one soon. "I'll make sure your orders are carried out, but mind this, only if there is no other choice and nothing left to consider."
"I would hope so." Janeway gave him a genuine smile. "I still expect you to figure all this all out and get us the hell out of this mess, but if not, there's no reason to tell Neelix or Icheb. There is nothing they could do and telling them won't change the facts nor our fate."
"I agree on that one." He looked horrified still.
"I'm counting on all of us being around for years to come anyway. I'm much to young to die, well a few weeks ago I was."
Her smile was slightly comforting. "You're still young at heart, Captain, that's all that matters." The Doctor, without thinking hugged her tightly.
She was becoming quite used to all the hugging that had been going around the ship lately. In fact, she thought about making hugging an order from now on. "You're in command now, Doctor, well shortly. I've got a few things to finish up then I'll be back with Chakotay."
"Understood." He watched her leave the cargo bay for what could be the last time. I won't let you down, Captain. I'm not going to let any of you die this way or otherwise.
=^=
"You wanted to see me, Captain?" Icheb asked.
"Yes, have a seat." Janeway and Neelix were sitting at a small table in the messhall. The room was dark; all but the small emergency lighting over the table was off. They were about to cut all life support to the messhall as well as the bridge. Voyager was close to the end now. Soon the only inhabitable area on the ship would be the cargo bay.
"Can I get you something to drink, Icheb?" Neelix stood up to grab another cup for the captain.
"No thanks." Icheb's demeanor was as somber as anyone's. The feeling on Voyager now was as cold and lifeless as any Borg cube had ever been. The eerie resemblance was hard for Icheb.
"I just wanted to discus a few things with the two of you before I have to join the rest of the crew in dream land." She tried a smile but it had no effect.
Neelix brought her another cup of comfort knowing it would be her last for a while. "Captain, I just hate this whole thing. There has to be something we can do to stop this."
"I think we are doing everything we can, Neelix. So far it hasn't been enough, but I'm confidant that the three of you will find the solution." Janeway was doing her best to boost their spirits and hopes.
"I know one thing, we won't stop trying no matter what. Voyager is my home now, I'm not going to give that up without a fight." Icheb had truly become one of them.
"Protecting home and family is the most important thing to any of us. It's that fighting spirit that has kept us alive on more than one occasion. However, the challenge isn't always in the fight alone. It's also knowing when to concede and move on."
"What are you saying, Captain?" Icheb didn't like the sound of this.
"I'm only saying there may be no choice in the end, but to leave Voyager and save your own lives. The ship is almost as dead as this region of space seems to be. We may be able to survive in stasis for a time, but you and Neelix wouldn't on this ship. Your only chance may be to leave and find some nice planet to live out your lives on." Janeway could see the protest in his eyes.
"Then why can't we go into stasis as well? I don't want to just abandon you."
"Icheb…" Neelix cut in. "None of us want things to end this way, but Captain Janeway is right. If we can't find the cure soon, we really have no choice." He looked over at Janeway. "Do you mind if I tell him what you told me before?"
"No, I was about to anyway." Janeway smiled at her Talaxian friend.
"We are both very much a part of this crew, Icheb, and if worst comes to worst we may be the only two left. Captain Janeway put it this way. If I know that even a small fraction of my crew has a chance to stay alive and find somewhere to call home then I'll at least know I didn't fail everyone. I need to know that in some small way Voyager and her crew will go on living." Neelix smiled at his precise memory.
"Icheb, I know this is hard and I would want to do the same thing you just thought of, but it's not the right thing to do. As the captain of this ship just knowing that you, Neelix and the Doctor will be safe will make our possible fate bearable." She still saw such doubt and question in his eyes. "Just do this for all of us, your family."
Icheb only nodded his head in agreement.
"We've got the shuttle all loaded and ready if need be." Neelix was speaking, but Janeway's eyes were still focused on Icheb. "The holoemitters are in place as well as Icheb's regeneration chamber, well a smaller compact version."
Janeway looked concerned and still towards Icheb. "Don't worry, Captain, it will work fine. I don't need to regenerate all that often anymore."
She smiled slightly. "That's good to know." She directed the next question to both of them. "Have you got enough food and water supplies?"
"As much as we could store. Starfleet didn't design the roomiest of shuttles, but at least they didn't put bio-neural circuitry in them."
"We can be grateful for that one. It may not be as comfortable as Voyager, but she's got power and life support." Janeway had entertained the thought at one point that all of them could escape in Voyager's shuttles, and escape pods, but there would be nothing gained by splitting up the crew, they would die of old age anyway. In her eyes it would be better to be together at the end.
"Captain, is there anything else you need me for? I'd like to get back to work on Casper." Icheb knew the only way he could help now was to find help in the form of a cure.
"No. I've got to get up to the bridge anyway to finish up some last minute details." They all stood up to leave. "Before you go though I just want the two of you to know you've made being stranded in the Delta Quadrant well worth all of the trouble. You are every bit as much a part of this mismatched crew as anyone. We couldn't have come this far without you." She pulled Icheb into a hug.
He wasn't sure how to react, but it felt right to him, like a hug from the mother he'd always wished he'd had. Someone who truly cared about and loved him for who he was not who they wanted him to be. "Thank you, Captain, I won't let you down." Icheb left the messhall ahead of them.
"Are you sure you don't want another cup of coffee before you head to the bridge?" Neelix wanted to prolong their little visit just a bit longer.
"I better not. I don't want to spend however long in stasis with a full bladder." She was teasing, in part.
It did get Neelix to smile. "I can see your point." They both laughed a bit easing some of the tension. "Would you like me to walk with you to the bridge?"
"I think I can handle one more trip, but I would appreciate a bit of extra power up there for a few minutes. Do you think you and Icheb can scrape some up for me?"
"No problem. We'll hold our breath to get it to you if we have too. Just let me know when you're ready." They walked arm in arm from the messhall.
"Will do, but… how long can you hold your breath?" Janeway was doing her best to remain positive and upbeat, as much for her sake as theirs.
"As long as you need me to, Captain." Neelix kept smiling.
"In that case, I'll try not to hurry too fast." Janeway gave his arm a friendly squeeze then crept off in the opposite direction.
"Don't forget I only have one lung now." He called after her. His only reply was the echo of laughter through the empty corridors of the ship.
=^=
"There you are." Chakotay stood up from the command chair at the sound of the turbolift doors. "I was beginning to think the Doctor had hogtied you and thrown you into stasis already."
"I think he wanted too after our little talk." With Chakotay's help she made it to her captain's chair. "I can't believe how hard it is just to walk a few steps anymore."
"I know what you're saying." He took a seat in his own chair. "At least you didn't have to crawl through the jefferies tube."
"Neelix is holding his breath." The smile was back.
Chakotay's dumbfounded look was also back. "I know I'm going deaf, but what does Neelix's breathing have to do with it?"
Janeway was laughing now. "You call it… the breath of life, or in this case, holding your breath to conserve power."
Chakotay was catching on. "Then we'd better hurry because he only has one lung of air to hold."
"He did remind me of that." Janeway sat back comfortably in her chair hoping to capture the last moments on the bridge into her heart. This had been the main hub of her life for seven years and it wasn't going to be easy to say goodbye or even to give it up for a time.
Chakotay knew exactly what she was feeling and thinking. He reached over and took her hand in his. They sat that way for a few minutes just trying to take it all in. "We've had some pretty amazing times on this ship over the last seven years." He spoke softly.
"That we have. Some I'd rather forget, but most… I wouldn't trade for anything." She squeezed tighter to his hand. "I'm planning on having many more good times though. I'm just not ready to say goodbye to this crew, this ship," she paused as the tears tried to break free, " and mostly to you." She could see he was having the same trouble with his own emotions.
"We're not going to say goodbye, not now, not ever. I'm not about to have my life snuffed out by a cloud and certainly not before we…" his determination glowed with the blushing-pink on his face.
Janeway's smile could fill the entire bridge. "Before we what, Commander?" She knew full well, but just couldn't help herself.
Chakotay stood up and pulled her to her feet. Sliding his hands around her face he brought his lips to hers kissing her more passionately than he thought he had in him. There wasn't even a slight hesitation on her part. The kiss ended as his arms wrapped tightly around her. "How unfair is life anyway? Now I'm too old to finish this physical conversation." He could feel as well as hear the laughter against his chest.
"It's damned unfair." Her heart felt and wanted that conversation too, but her body had a different agenda. "Well, I sure have something positive to dream about now, if…"
"There's no if, only when."
"I'll hold you to it." She wrapped her arms even tighter around him.
Chakotay loved the way they fit together, but… "I take it, Kathryn, that you mean… hold literally?"
She looked up at him smiling shyly. "Yes."
"Ok, I can live with that, but do you think the Doctor can rig us up a queen size stasis unit?"
She surprised him by kissing him back before she answered. "Maybe you better ask him, he's not too happy with my decisions."
The magic moment was full of thrones all of the sudden. "We didn't think he would, but he is going to help us isn't he?"
"Yes. If the time comes I'm sure he will follow orders. He won't like it, hell none of us will, but it's part of the job of being captain." She broke free from their embrace and sat back down to get this over with.
Chakotay did the same. "Are you ready?" He grabbed hold of her hand again.
"No, but let's do it anyway." She tapped a button on the console. "Computer, initiate self-destruct sequence – Janeway, pie, omega, red, nine, engage."
Janeway authorization confirmed, awaiting second authorization.
"Self-destruct sequence, Commander Chakotay, alpha, beta, zero, blue-star, begin."
Commander Chakotay authorization confirmed, awaiting third and final authorization.
"Hold authorization sequence." Janeway inhaled deeply keeping her eyes locked with Chakotay's.
Holding authorization.
"Well, let's hope the computer has to hold for a long time. I intend to come back and disengage the thing." Chakotay hoped positive thinking would prevail.
"Me and you both, but if not… there better be enough power left in the computer to initiate it." That was almost as big of a concern to Janeway as them not making it out alive.
"We've done all we can, Kathryn. The rest is up to God, fate, or Casper."
"I'm not religious by any means, but in this case, I'd rather trust in God than Casper." Her smile was showing slightly again.
Chakotay's smile was at full throttle. "You never cease to surprise me, Kathryn."
"I do my best." She stood up and started to clomp around the bridge with her cane.
Chakotay stayed put giving her a few moments on her own to say goodbye to her ship. He let his own thought drift to happier times.
"Neelix to Janeway. I don't think we can hold this power much longer."
Their individual reveries were halted. "Give us five more minutes and we'll be done."
"You've got it, Neelix out."
"I guess it's time." Janeway said unenthusiastically. She was standing on the upper tear of the bridge. Chakotay joined her taking her hand once again. "You know, I could become very used to these kinds of conversations, Commander."
"I hope so, Captain." He backed up a few steps towards the turbolift pulling her with him.
Janeway hesitated and pulled her hand free. "Computer, launch prerecorded emergency beacon." They both watched as the red flash streaked from the ship.
Extreme caution, the Federation Starship Voyager is a quarantined vessel. An unknown substance has contaminated the ship and her crew. Take any and all precautions.
"That's rather creepy." Chakotay spoke above the repeating warning.
Janeway turned to face him and once again reached out her hand to him. "Then it's fitting of this rather creepy situation." Chakotay only nodded as the lift doors opened and they stepped inside. With one last glance at her bridge, Captain Janeway silently vowed to return soon. Don't give up on me Voyager I'm coming back.
=^=
Hand in hand the command team entered the cargo bay. Stopping at the threshold, they were caught by the ghostlike feel and hushed atmosphere of the room. "It feels like a graveyard in here." Chakotay's quiet whisper sliced through the silence.
Janeway moved a bit closer to him. "That was not the most appropriate comment, Commander." She whispered although she had been thinking the same thing.
"Sorry, I guess it wasn't." Chakotay had a sudden urge to flee the ship altogether. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea after all."
Janeway's focus had switched from him to Neelix and Icheb who were behind the forcefield. They were both looking back through their environmental suits. Their forlorn and sad faces reflected just how Janeway was feeling. "No it isn't a good idea." She responded to Chakotay, never moving her gaze from the pair clad in spacesuits. "It's a bad idea, but at the moment, it's the only idea we have." She let go of Chakotay's hand and walked over towards Casper.
"Captain, I…" Neelix's tongue was in a knot.
"I know, Neelix, I know." She brushed her fingers over her lips, indicating there was nothing he needed to say. They all knew what was in their heats, and words couldn't change a thing at this point.
Chakotay had joined her, and they stood a few moments longer watching the milky-white meanness. There was nothing enchanting about it anymore. The slight compassion that Janeway might have had for it died long ago along with her ship and possibly her crew. The only feelings left were that of anger, despair, and total fear. Unfortunately, Janeway's sixth sense told her Casper didn't care. Its goal was about to be played out, with her ship and crew paying the ultimate price with their lives. "It's time, Kathryn." Chakotay gently lead her by the arm towards their awaiting stasis units.
The Doctor had the remaining two empty units ready to go. He didn't say a word as he stepped back wanting to give them the time they needed.
The rows of stasis units were impressive, yet horrifyingly surreal. Janeway broke free from Chakotay again and slowly walked between the rows of units touching each and every one of them. Chakotay stayed back with the Doctor knowing this was something she had to do for herself as it would give her the piece of mind she needed to get through this.
She lingered a bit longer at the units of those she was closest too. Not as a last goodbye from their friend and captain, but a silent thank you and thoughts of encouragement. At this point Kathryn Janeway had nothing else to offer them. No promises that she would get them out of this. It was out of her hands now, and all she had left to offer them was in her heart.
Walking back towards Chakotay and the Doctor, Captain Janeway's eyes glistened with tears. Not from tears of sadness and despair, but from the gratitude and love that she had for all of them. She walked right into Chakotay's outstretched arms needing to feel the warmth of life that she silently prayed they would all enjoy again soon.
She blinked back any remaining tears and smiled slightly at the Doctor. "I'm ready, let's get this over with."
"All you need to do is climb in." He gestured toward the side-by-side units. "Who's first?"
Janeway turned her smile on her first officer. "You're fist, Commander."
"Kathryn, I'd feel better knowing you were tucked in safe and sound, you go first." Chakotay joined the Doctor in his gesture toward the units.
"Sorry, Commander, you don't have a choice. I'm the captain, and the captain always goes down with the ship." Now Janeway pointed to the empty chambers.
The Doctor had had enough. "Would the two of you decide already? Maybe I should have Neelix bring over a couple of straws. Short one goes first." It sounded as though he was still slightly miffed that they'd done that before, and that Seven had gotten the short end of the deal.
Janeway and Chakotay were laughing, however. "I think we'd better agree, and fast before we find ourselves floating out an airlock." Chakotay enjoyed the moment.
"Fine, we'll split the difference and both go in at the same time."
Janeway's smile was the perfect last minute image to Chakotay, an image he would keep in his heart and hold on to like a drowning man. "I accept, Captain." His smile was every bit as perfect.
"Finally." The Doctor sighed and took Chakotay's cane so he could climb in. Janeway didn't relinquish hers as Chakotay helped her in first then slid into his own. "You're not keeping that with you, are you, Captain?"
"I most certainly am." She slid the cane between her and the unit, lying down with a smile. All Chakotay could do was laugh as he lay back in his own unit. The Doctor just rolled his eyes. "Doctor, are you sure all these units are working properly?" She turned her head so she could see him.
"I'm sure. The only fluctuation in life signs is coming from the person inside not from the units themselves."
Janeway sat up abruptly. "What do you mean, 'fluctuation in life signs'? What's wrong with them?"
"Calm down, Captain." The Doctor put his hand on her shoulder, just in case she wanted to bolt from the unit. "They're all fine. Some have shown a drop or an acceleration in heart rate and breathing, but it doesn't last long, and they are doing fine right now." He could have kicked himself for even mentioning it.
"Any idea what's causing it?" Chakotay was sitting up as well now.
"All I know is it's not from the units themselves. My guess is they're having some pretty intense dreams at times. Don't worry though, I'll monitor everyone closely, and if something seems even slightly off I'll get them out immediately. Now, would you both lie back down?"
That did little to ease their minds, but again there was nothing they could do about it now. Janeway looked over at Chakotay and again reached her hand out for his. He held tightly to hers as they both lay back down.
Janeway turned her head to face the Doctor again. "Remember what I said, Doctor. You're in command now, but also under direct orders to follow procedure." She said forcing a slight smile.
"Understood. I know what I have to do." The Doctor didn't relish the thought of having to do it, but he would follow orders if need be.
"Thank you, Captain." Janeway addressed him as such for a show of faith, and good luck.
The Doctor genuinely smiled. "Now, are you two ready?"
The command team, still holding hands locked eyes with each other. "We're ready." They said together.
"I hate to point this out, but stasis will only work if every part of you is tucked inside." The Doctor said with humor.
They were still holding hands, reluctant to let go of the physical contact. "That's why you're the captain now, Doctor, to point these things out." Janeway let go of Chakotay's hand sliding her arm down to her side.
Their eye contact never wavered as the Doctor slid the coverings tightly closed and started the stasis procedure. Fighting it, but falling short, Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay closed their eyes and drifted off into a stasis state of existence, or as the Doctor referred to it… oblivion.
The ECH checked and rechecked to make sure all the stasis units were working. All three of them would be working triple time to keep watch on the units and their life signs. There wasn't a moment to spare now. He picked up the tray of their latest blood samples and headed for the forcefield.
=^=
"Captain, it's been three days since the… captain and commander were put into stasis, there's no sign of a cure and our time is running out." Icheb complained in frustration. "What are we going to do?"
The Doctor was every bit as discouraged, if not more so. "If I knew that, Icheb, I'd have done it already."
"Maybe we should make a list of our priorities now. See if there's something we can do to buy as more time." Both the Doctor and Icheb looked at Neelix like he was crazy. "Well it's a place to start isn't it?" Neelix and Icheb had gotten very little sleep over the past few days, and that did little to improve their moods.
"Fine, here's your list, Mr. Neelix." The Doctor rattled off. "The ship is virtually dead. That Casper thing is about to burst free. The forcefield is offline more than it's on. The life support in the cargo bay is all but gone. We have nothing in the way of a cure to save the crew. You're both tired, hungry, frustrated and of no use to anyone in that state. We are at the end of the road. Does that about cover it for you?" The Doctor was close to a holo-meltdown.
"It covers it just fine, all but the most important thing." Neelix wasn't afraid of his holo-friend, acting captain or not. "What about… how are we going to save the crew?"
The Doctor looked as defeated as he felt. "I don't know, I honestly don't know." The silence that followed was almost as bad as the heated discussion. "In order to save the crew we need two things. A cure for Casper, and to keep Casper away from them."
"Now we're getting somewhere." Neelix had calmed down considerably. "The best way to keep Casper from the crew is to keep that forcefield operational."
"That's going to be a bit hard without power to do so." Icheb cut in.
"Ok, we're losing life support in the cargo bay already. I think it's time to cut what little power that it's taking to help keep the forcefield holding." The Doctor was acting like the captain he should now.
"That would be fine except I really can't hold my breath forever." Neelix would give up his last breath though if he thought it would help.
"Maybe we don't have too." Icheb spoke up again. "We have the environmental suits with plenty of air and they'll keep us warm."
"That's a good idea, Icheb. Maybe it will even buy us another day or two to find that elusive cure." The ECH was in high gear again.
"Will that be safe for the crew to cut all life support in here?" Neelix sounded worried.
"Yes, unless they wake up and go to take a deep breath of air." The Doctor looked over at the rows of stasis chambers. "We'd better double check Paris' unit to make sure that lock is on nice and tight."
Neelix and Icheb were chuckling slightly. "Poor Tom." Neelix couldn't help but feel for the guy.
"Captain, we could also power up the shuttle in the other cargo bay so we could get some sleep and maybe something warm to drink."
"Another good idea, and it's just what I want both of you to do, get some sleep. I can keep an eye on things here. We might even get lucky and find the right blood and serum combination."
"Six hands are better than two. Besides, I'm not even tired." Icheb protested.
"That's not a request, Icheb. I am the acting captain and it's an order. Neither of you are going to be of any help when you drop dead on the spot from exhaustion."
"He's right, Icheb. We could both use a little shuteye." Neelix yawned to prove his point.
"Now, both of you get out of here before I cut life support and you do have to hold your breath." The Doctor moved towards the computer control panel.
"Ok, we're going already." Neelix and Icheb left the cargo bay just as life support was terminated.
=^=
Celes didn't know why, but she knew she'd woken up in the brig. Try as she might she couldn't recall why. "Hey, is anyone out there?" She walked to the forcefield holding her captive. "Hello, anyone out there?
She received nothing but silence and suddenly dread filled her thoughts. "What was the last thing I remember, what did I do?" She questioned herself repeatedly trying to sift through her memories. Celes sat down on the small bunk inside her cell. "I know I'm not the brightest and I screw up a lot, but that's no reason to put me in here, something's not right."
"You know what you did, you know very well what you did." Celes heard Captain Janeway's voice in her mind. She looked around the room startled and even more confused, there was no one there.
"Captain, what, where are you? What did I do, I don't know what it is. What's going on?" She was in a quandary and starting to feel paranoid.
"Don't try to play the innocent little girl, you know very well what you did." This time it was Commander Chakotay's voice. "You never do anything right, you're nothing but a screw up, a bad seed. We should have gotten rid of you long ago."
The hatred in his voice made Celes' stomach churn. She couldn't see anyone and she knew the voices were not coming from the com system. "You're weak and pathetic, you shouldn't have even been on the ship. You're a loser and you'll pay for what you did." Neelix sounded even more hateful.
"No, I don't know what I did, please tell me, help me." She pleaded to nothing but thin air. "Where are you, why can't I see you, what's going on?" Total panic was setting in.
"You know, Celes, don't lie to us." Commander Tuvok's forceful voice vibrated her soul. "You couldn't follow one simple command, you had to do it your way, and look what it cost you. Look what it cost all of us."
"No, I don't understand, I don't know what I did." She was shouting through her choking tears. "Where are you, why can't I see anyone. Please, I'm sorry, whatever it is I'm sorry!" She was crying hard now. "Help me, Captain, what's going on?"
"What's going on? You dare ask that after what you have done to us? You're a murderer, you let this happen because you wouldn't follow orders, you destroyed us all." Captain Janeway's harsh voice was as chilling as the frosty air. "You will pay!"
The first thing Celes noticed through her blanket of tears was a shadow, then another and another. The black shadows moved in on her, their wing like cloaks filling the tiny cell. They encircled her blocking off any escape. "No! Get away from me, get away!" She flung her arms wildly. The black ghostlike figures moved closer with their hellish laughter. "GET AWAY!!"
"You will never get away Celes, you're about to die the same horrible death you put us through." The last slightly coherent thought she had was to scream, and scream she did. The black shadows moved in for the kill.
=^=
"Let me out! I can't breathe, let me out now!" He felt himself scream, he could hear his voice echo. He felt blood trickle down his hands from the pounding on the hard encasement, but it wasn't possible. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, and he was suffocating. "Oh please! Let me out, I'm dying, please!"
Above the screaming somewhere in the back of his mind, Tom Paris heard the faint cry of a baby. "NO! The baby, B'Elanna, they need me, help! Let me out!" The crying only grew louder taking over every molecule of thought he had.
"Daddy, Daddy, please help me. Daddy, help!"
Tom Paris could only scream.
=^=
"What's wrong with her, Doctor? Tell me!" B'Elanna heard the animal screeching from her baby. "Let me up, I can't see her, what's wrong? Tom, help, where are you?"
She couldn't move, she couldn't see her husband. Al she could do was listen to the incessant howling. "What's wrong with my baby? Give her to me, I want to see my baby."
As if dropping from thin air she felt the splash of warm blood raining down on her face. "NO! Where's my baby? Give her to me!" The grotesquely blood covered mutant landed with a heavy thud on her stomach. Its razor-sharp claws digging into her flesh. "No! Dear Kahless, NO! My baby, NO!"
The mutated monster snarled and growled as B'Elanna screamed, it's saliva dripping fangs inches above her face. "Mommy."
=^=
The sound of snapping twigs behind him alerted the hunter that he was no longer the hunter, but rather the hunted. The fog, as thick and heavy as pea soup, settled around his stone-cold nude body. His breathing virtually stopped, as he stood motionless straining to hear his pursuer.
A low and deadly growl accompanied with a feel of hot-acid breath on the back of his leg caused him to dart off through the fog-coated forest. "Go, go, go!" He panted as he ran for his life with the beast never more than one step and one shredding bite behind.
"Who are you? Get away from me!" His breathless questions answered only by more fearsome growling. He continued to run, crashing through the thicket of tangled dead trees, the razor-sharp branches slicing into his cold flesh. "Don't stop, keep going, keep going!"
The knife in Chakotay's hand was his only weapon now. The phaser he'd thought he had proved to be only a knife. As he continued to run, the foggy thicket of mangled trees changed a long and winding corridor took its place. "What the hell is going on? Where am I?" He continued to run barefooted and bleeding, not daring to slow down enough to see if the monster was still in pursuit. He couldn't hear its devilish growling anymore, but somehow he could feel its presence.
"I have to stop, I need somewhere to hide." With his heart pounding fiercely he knew he'd have to slow down soon. The winding corridor opened up into a lightless room. This was his chance, his only chance. He dashed inside desperate for a place to hide.
Crouched down behind what he thought to be a fallen dead tree he listened breathlessly for any sound. What he heard, however, made no sense. Not the monstrous growling, but the laughter of people off in the distance. "What is going on?" Chakotay's confusion was matched only by his fear.
Before he could react the thick foggy atmosphere settled around him again, bringing the bitter damp cold of the forest. The tree he'd thought was his camouflage turned out to be a desk. "Oh this is just too weird, where the hell am I?" As if the creature could read his thoughts his answer rang loudly in the form of a hideous scream. The hot breath of death was upon him. Chakotay jumped to his feet just as the beast flew at him, its foul, bloodstained teeth aimed at his throat. Instinctively he reacted by plunging the large knife blade into the chest of the beast.
The sound he heard next wasn't that of a growling, snarling monster, but the sound of a woman screaming. He flung the beast off of him, the two of them landing in a thick pile of dead branches. Once again the foggy, murky air cleared. He was not in a forest but on the bridge of Voyager. With his heart pounding hard enough to leap from his chest he looked down at the fallen monster, the bloody knife still in his hand and through the heart of Kathryn Janeway, her lifeless eyes mocking him. "NO!!" Chakotay's blood-curdling scream echoed on.
=^=
"Oh, yuck, what is that?" The slime oozed from under her bare feet. "That's disgusting!" Naomi Wildman wrinkled her nose both from the feel and the rotten smell. "My first away mission and I have to step in… come to think of it, why am I barefoot?" She looked around, shinning her wrist beacon illuminating her surroundings just enough for her to get a feeling of where she was. The dingy damp cave sent shivers through her. "What is this place, where am I? This is definitely not Voyager.
Dressed only in her pajamas and wandering around in some musty old cave was not her idea of an away mission, or fun for that matter. "If this is some kind of prank that Tom Paris has set up on the holodeck I will never forgive him." Naomi's anger fueled her on. She started to search for the control panel to deactivate the program. "Computer, door." No response and no door. "Computer, disengage holodeck program." Again, nothing happened. Naomi was starting to really panic now. "What is going on?"
She was answered by a scratching sound coming from the blackness ahead. Her heart skipped a few beats as she shined her light in the direction of the noise. "Mom, is that you? Is anybody here?" The scratching sound grew louder. It sounded more like little nails tapping along the stone. "Captain Janeway, anybody, help!" Naomi couldn't control her panic a moment longer and started to run in the opposite direction of the bone chilling noise.
"Help!" Naomi ran almost blindly in the dark, stepping on sharp jagged pieces of rock and cutting her feet. She could feel the warm blood oozing as she ran. The nail clicking sound was now accompanied by a shrill squeaking. "Mom, help me! Where are you, please!"
In her desperate attempt to escape she tripped over a large stone and fell on her hands and knees. Her world was instantly bathed in blackness as her only source of light shattered. "Mommy, help me!" Naomi cried out in vain as she lay helpless in the darkness.
The scurrying of tinny claws came closer and closer. Through her teary eyes she saw something flash in the dark. "No, please, help me!" Another flash and then another and in an instant she was surrounded by hundreds of pairs of red beady eyes, and they were moving closer. "Mom, Neelix, HELP ME!" Naomi screamed as the first enormous rat sunk its teeth into her leg. The screaming continued on.
=^=
The mocking laughter rang through the desolate landscape. Heat from the burning rays of the Vulcan sun trickled as sweat down his face. Commander Tuvok stood alone on his home planet, his barren, dead planet. The ghosts of his past singing their nightmares in harmony with the howling wind.
Tuvok trudged along in the smoldering heat; the sand drifts a constant obstacle. "What has happened here? How did I get here, where is my family, where is everyone?" His barrage of questions answered in the taunting whispers of the wind.
"This is most illogical, it can not be real." He constantly reminded himself, yet every step he took said otherwise. "This must be a dream, my life is not on Vulcan, it's on Voyager." As if to reaffirm he had no life at all, the mocking wind danced with the sand forming images of his lost life. His wife and children swirled in sandy-likenesses before him. "This can not be real." His only hope played continuously in his mind.
"It is real my husband." The sand ghost howled in the wind. "You failed in your duty as husband and father. You failed all of us, just as you have always done."
"No, I won't listen to this mockery. I can not have failed, I was not here." Tuvok refused to believe even as the hot wind changed direction bringing more visions of his past.
"You will listen old friend." Captain Janeway said through the sting of hot sand. "You not only let your family down, but you let your ship and captain down. You let emotions take control, you let this all happen."
Tuvok put his long cloak up to shield his eyes from the unbelievable. "I can not accept that, this is not of my doing. Eyes can not see what the mind refuses to believe."
"A logical assumption in a realm of the illogical. It will do you no good here my husband. You chose this path of hell and now it's your time to accept what the mind will not see."
Tuvok fell to his knees as the army of broken images sliced through his mind like stinging sand. Images of death, destruction, and the living nightmare yet to come were his alone to suffer. Under the weight of hell he cried into the wind.
=^=
"I'm not doing this again, I refuse, this is NOT real!" Kathryn Janeway found herself standing alone on her ghost-ship. The echo of haunted voices and the icy bitterness of death her only companions. "I don't want too, please God not again." Her beseeching caught in a tangled web of the undead in a living nightmare.
Fueled only by fear, her path chosen by evil's clutches, Kathryn Janeway walked the corridors of her dead ship, the haunting memories embedded within its essence. The stench of decay heavy in the frigged air, her destiny certain, she moved slowly toward the misty opening. "I don't want to go in, please, not again." She cried as her warm tears began staining her frozen cheeks.
The faces of her lost crew playing out in her mind like an old movie and cutting deep within her soul. Faces of those she once loved became the faces of this torturous nightmare. Her tears continued as undaunted as the fire of fear that fueled her every breath, the door to hell stood before her.
"We're waiting, Kathryn." The hand of her once beloved first officer reached out through the hazy fog with its eaten away flesh hanging in shreds. "Take my hand, Kathryn, it's the only way, it's your destiny." She screamed, repulsed by his frozen touch.
"NO! Get away from me, no!" Again her cries were in vain as she found herself standing in the cold dark crypt. The dilapidated coffins home to her undead crew.
"Captain, we've all been waiting, come, join us." The monstrous image had no resemblance to the voice of B'Elanna Torres. "We've saved the best for last." The horrific laughter turned Janeway's already cold blood to ice.
"Get away from me, all of you! This is not real, it can't be real." She tried to break free from the iron grasp of the nightmare. "I'm not listening to you, stop! Leave me alone!"
"We can't leave you, Kathryn, we're family, and families stay together." The skeletal remains of Chakotay pushed her forward.
The 'best for last' was a rotting bloody wooden coffin. She was encircled by several more of the undead creatures, their hellish remains couldn't possibly be that of her senior officers, but they were. They were all there with their true death glares and haunting cackles. "Get in, Captain." Her former security chief beckoned as a large spider dangled out from his sunken eye-socket.
She felt repulsion rise up in her throat. Closing her eyes only intensified the smell of death. Janeway could only cry and beg for this to be over. The Chakotay creature grabbed her dragging her to her resting place. "Get in, NOW, Kathryn, we've waited long enough."
"No! Chakotay, please don't!" Her screams were only a distant echo through all the hateful laughter of her lost crew.
"You failed us, Captain, you failed all of us. You promised to get us home, but this is our home now, as it is yours." Harry Kim's voice spoke but it wasn't him, it just couldn't be.
The hideous monsters grabbed at her, pulling and clawing as if she were a piece of meat. "Get in or we will put you in one piece at a time." Even Chakotay's voice didn't sound like him anymore. The ungodly tone was too much. Kathryn Janeway gave up the futile fight as she was dumped into the gapping blood-crusted tomb. Several of the eight-legged creatures dropped in to join her, their skin-crawling tickle as deadly as the faces above.
"NO! PLEASE NO!!" Darkness enveloped her as the last nail of fate was pounded from above. Kathryn Janeway screamed for the last time.
Cobwebs of fearful images creep through the minds of the crew, as they lie in stasis unable to break free of its tangled icy-fingers. Their silent screams unheard as their life signs begin to fail.
=^=
"Doctor, what's happening?" Neelix rushed over to the stasis units.
"I'm not sure." He was running from one unit to the other using his medical tricorder. "Their life signs are failing rapidly. It's like they're being scared to death or something. Some of their heart rates are off the chart."
"Do you think they're having nightmares?" Neelix was following the Doctor down the rows of his friends.
"That would be my guess." He worked franticly to try and stabilize the most critical. "The only thing I know for sure is some of them are going to die if we don't do something fast."
"Maybe we should just wake them up then." Neelix felt as panicked as he'd ever been in his life, and he really didn't have a clue how to help.
"Neelix, I'm trying to save their lives not kill them. No life support, no air!" The Doctor managed to stabilize some of them or rather they stabilized on their own.
"Can't we put them right into environmental suits?" Neelix pleaded in desperation.
"There's no time for that!" The Doctor was getting frantic.
"Captain, we've lost all power to the forcefield. There's nothing I can do." Icheb called out from across the room.
Just great. I'm beginning to really hate this captain routine. The Doctor silently grumbled. "Icheb, get your butt over here and help us then."
Over the next fifteen minutes the three misfits did everything they could for their friends. Just as they got one stabilized the next would falter. The problem was that there really wasn't much they could do since the stasis units were not the cause. Several times a few of them almost came out of stasis, Tom Paris twice. That lock and chain did its job.
Just as things started to calm down a bit and they were all more stabilized again the ship went into some wild convulsions knocking the three of them to the deck. The loss of gravity and spinning motion made Neelix's stomach wish he'd not eaten that last food ration. "Icheb, look out!" Neelix slid along the wall and slammed right into him. The two of them ended up crashing into a pile on the floor as the ship gave one last cough and sputter before righting itself.
"Now that's what I'd call a wild ride." Icheb muttered from the underside of the pile. "Neelix, do you mind getting off me?" He didn't receive any answer or any relief from the double layer of spacesuit. "Neelix!" Icheb groaned and gently rolled his friend off. "Neelix, can you hear me, are you alright?"
The Talaxian started to move slowly. Icheb was checking his suit for any tears or cracks. "I can hear you fine, what happened?"
They slid apart and tried to get up in the bulky suits. "I'm not sure, but I think we'd better activate our magnetic boots in case it's not over."
Neelix was a bit dazed, but started looking around the room while Icheb continued to check both their suits for damage. He saw that all of the stasis units were still in place, but he had no idea if the people inside them were still in one piece. Then it suddenly hit him… "Where is the Doctor?"
"Oh no!" Icheb immediately started scanning the room.
"He must have hit his holoemitter on something and deactivated himself. Help me find him." Neelix was more shaken than he'd thought.
They searched through all of the broken and fallen equipment and around the stasis units, both avoiding looking towards the two containers on the other side of the room. The thought that Casper might be leaking out was just too much at the moment. "Where is he? He has to be here somewhere!" Icheb was as close to hysteria as he'd ever been.
"Here, I've got him!" Neelix was digging through a pile of rubble. He grabbed the emitter and stood up.
The Doctor materialized immediately, but unfortunately not in the best of positions. He dropped quickly right onto his butt. "What the hell?" His confusion was evident.
Despite the dire situation Neelix couldn't help but laugh. "That's not the standard greeting for an EMH."
"For your information I'm the ECH now." He'd already jumped to his feet. "Are the two of you hurt?" He asked but was focused on the stasis units.
"I'm fine, but I'm not sure about Neelix." Icheb said with concern.
The Doctor grabbed his tricorder and ran it over Neelix. "I think you'll live." Then he was of to check the others.
"Never doubted it. I've got a pretty thick head."
"I'll say." Icheb was rubbing his arm where Neelix had landed on it.
The Doctor's attention was focused only on the crew. Amazingly enough they had all survived, some better than others, but nothing that was immediately life threatening.
"Is there something we can do to help, Doctor?" Neelix asked with hesitation. He didn't really want to know if something had happened to them or if it was about to happen.
"Yes." The Doctor looked up. "You and Icheb better check to see if those containers are in one piece."
That was just what Neelix didn't want to do, but without a word they both trudged over all the debris toward Casper. With the forcefield gone they walked right up to the two containers inspecting them for leaks and possible cracks. Neelix heaved a sigh of relief. "I think we got lucky. I'm not detecting any leaks, are you?"
"No. This container looks intact." Icheb was so spooked, however, he didn't trust his own eyes or the persistently malfunctioning tricorder. He was running his gloved hand over the outside casing of the container just to make sure.
Neelix was a bit more trusting of the information and had turned his attention to the mess around his feet. "Looks like we're not that lucky after all." His foot crunched down on the remains of one of the blood samples from the crew. All of the last samples had been jostled around hard enough to break, some even smashed on the deck.
Icheb stopped his hands on inspection and looked at the bad luck. "Now what!" He was horrified. "We'll never find a cure without those samples." Icheb felt the disappointment as keenly as a good slug to the stomach.
In answer Voyager's emergency lighting flickered on and off several times. They were running out of time and fast.
Neelix and Icheb just stood motionless. Both from shock and from the final realization that all of their efforts had failed. The crew of the Starship Voyager was about to meet their demise and there was nothing they could do now to stop it.
"Hey, how about a report over there?" The Doctor yelled from across the room.
Icheb didn't move or say a word as Neelix made his way over the bloodstained debris. He didn't answer until he was standing by the Doctor. "Do you want the good news or bad new first?"
"Quit playing around and just tell me." The Doctor had a sudden urge to strangle the little Talaxian.
"The two containment units appear to be holding. We didn't find any leaking or possible cracks. I don't think any of Casper escaped." He paused a moment letting the Doctor comment if he wanted, he didn't. "The bad news is that all of the blood and serum samples have been destroyed. Not even one of them made it intact."
"Damnit!" Even though it wasn't possible for the Doctor to feel the icy stale air around him he shivered. The strain of their fate resting on his shoulders was almost too much. The next few minutes of the Doctor's existence would be the hardest of all. For him to have to make the decision to follow the captain's orders was going to change his life, altering his perception of it forever. "Neelix, can you give me a minute here?" The Doctor turned away from him.
"Of course." Neelix silently walked back to the other side of the room.
It's really over, Captain, we've lost. There is nothing more I can do. He was standing over her stasis unit. I've failed all of you, I'm so sorry.
The emergency lighting faded off again, momentarily bathing the cargo bay in inky-blackness. The kind of darkness that was more like a physical presence weighing heavy on the soul. If the Doctor could breathe he would have thought he was suffocating under the pressure of deep sorrow.
"Doctor, are you alright?" He could see the reflection from the lighting on Neelix's suit in the stasis unit.
Before he could answer the low glow of the emergency lights came back on. "I'm fine." Although he wasn't even close to fine.
Neelix and Icheb stayed put not sure what to do or what to expect next.
I'm out of time, Captain. I don't even know if there will be enough power left to carry out your orders. He definitely knew he didn't want too, but that was a moot point, he had no choice. He looked at the rows of stasis units. Maybe this is the best way while you're all sleeping. The word sleeping kept playing over and over in his mind, but the ability to grasp its meaning eluded him. With a conviction he didn't feel and the duty as captain he didn't relish he turned from the stasis units and walked up to join Neelix and Icheb.
The somberness of the Doctor's approach made Icheb wish he were still Borg. A Borg wouldn't feel, and a Borg wouldn't suffer the heartbreak that Icheb knew he was about too. He tried to say something, but no words would help and nothing he could say would change facts. All three of them knew it was over.
"What now, Captain?" That was the first time Neelix had addressed the Doctor as such since he took over command.
"We follow Captain Janeway's orders and leave Voyager." The Doctor saw that Icheb was about to protest. "Save your breath, Icheb, it won't change a thing, we're leaving." The sternness in his voice even surprised him, but it was the only way to get through this. "I want you and Neelix to go to cargo bay two and get the shuttle ready for departure. There's nothing more we can do for them now… it's over. We have to get out of here before it's too late for us as well. We'll be lucky if we can get the cargo bay doors opened to escape." Neither one of them moved, but Voyager did as another rumble shook the ship. "We're out of time, go, it's over!" The Doctor yelled the order.
"I'll be back in a few minutes to get you." Neelix said as he left with Icheb.
The Doctor walked to the computer control panel avoiding any eye contact with the stasis units. The hardest moment of any captain's career was upon him. "Computer, set third and final code for self-destruct. Command hologram, foxtrot, beta, green, nineteen, enable. Silent countdown, fifteen minutes." He wasn't sure if he should hope for a computer response or not.
Final authorization confirmed. Self-destruct in 14 minutes 59 seconds. There will be no further audio warning.
He got one, although it was hard to understand over the garbled static. I guess that's it then. He finally turned towards the stasis units and his crew, as they were his crew now. The atmosphere in the room took on a strangely peaceful aura. The Doctor once again thought of them as only sleeping.
"We're ready." He heard Neelix say behind him.
Sleeping, what is it about… The Doctor turned to Neelix. "Do you remember exactly what you were doing the first time we came in contact with Casper?"
Neelix thought that a rather odd question, but answered anyway. "I was sleeping in my quarters as far as I can remember, why?"
The Doctor looked back over at the crew. "I'm not sure. It's just a hunch, let's get out of here." They both turned to leave.
Voyager decided to help them out with another round of swaying, jerking motions. Neelix started to run towards the door. "Are you coming, Doctor?"
"One second, I'm right behind you." The Doctor took a slight detour over to the Casper filled containers. Forgive me, Captain. He quickly turned the valve opening an escape route for the white-death.
"Come on, Doc!" Neelix called from the door as the lights went out again.
The Doctor ran towards the beam of light coming from Neelix's helmet. "I'm right here, let's go!" He dropped into Neelix's outstretched hand and the Talaxian then set out in a fast run towards their escape.
The vaporous fingers of Casper drifted from the containers illuminating the blackness like florescent spider-webs waiting to capture their prey.
=^=
Neelix stumbled in the dark holding the Doctor tightly in his hand. He was grateful for the magnetic boots because they didn't have the time or the power to pressurize the cargo bay. "Icheb, get ready we're here." He made it to the shuttle tossing the Doctor inside then crawled in himself. "Let's go!" Neelix sealed the hatch.
"I sure hope the door is going to open." Icheb's voice sounded clearer without his helmet on.
"It better or we're in for a bumpy ride." The Doctor had rematerialized behind Icheb's seat. "Step on it, Icheb."
"Neelix removed his own helmet and secured himself into his own seat, silently saying his goodbyes to his treasured family.
The shuttle moved slowly to the closed door as Voyager did a ninety-degree roll causing the shuttle to bounce and skid off the deck. "Brace yourselves, it's not going to open!" Icheb yelled above the screeching-rolling noise from Voyager. He gave the shuttle full impulse power and instinctively closed his eyes to avoid watching them slam into the door.
"It's opening a bit!" Neelix's eyes were fixed in front of them. "Icheb, maneuver under it, hurry!"
He'd already started to do so before his eyes could even spring open. "Come on… go!" The shuttle scraped along through the small opening into the star filled freedom, the cargo bay door closing again from the turning motion of Voyager.
Neelix breathed a sigh of relief. "That was a bit too close for comfort."
"Take us to a safe distance from the ship and hold position." The Doctor knew they didn't have much time before they had to go to warp to avoid the aftershock from the explosion.
Icheb guided the shuttle a safe distance away and turned it so Voyager was on their view screen.
"Now that's something you don't see everyday." Neelix said with somberness.
The three of them gazed in shock at the decrepit condition of Voyager. They couldn't have known the kind of damage Casper had caused to the outside of the ship as well. It looked as though the titanium plating had been eaten away in spots from some kind of cancer in spots. The ship was tilted on its side and drifted lifelessly through the dark and foreboding shadows of space.
Extreme caution, the Federation Starship Voyager is a quarantined vessel. An unknown substance has contaminated the ship and her crew. Take any and all precautions. The prerecorded warning blared through the com-system.
"That's just too creepy." Neelix whispered.
"Turn that thing off, Icheb." The ECH ordered above the incessant noise of the beacon. Captain, why didn't you warn me about that? If was like adding the last nail to the coffin and he didn't like it. They only had a few minutes left before they had to leave, but he had to give his ridiculous last minute hunch a shot. "Icheb, don't ask why, just tell me what you were doing when we first came in contact with Casper?"
"I think I was sleeping, but… what the…!" He'd noticed a tinny blinking readout on the control panel. 04:37 – 36 – 35 "You set the self-destruct??" Icheb was in total shock.
"Doctor, have you lost your mind?" Neelix shouted, every bit as much in shock as Icheb.
"Shut up, both of you. It was Captain Janeway's order, do you think I wanted to do this?" If it had been a screaming match the Doctor would have won.
"This is just unbelievable!" 03:22 – 21 – 20 Neelix kept his eyes glued on the readout. "You're going to kill the entire crew just to show you can follow orders? Unbelievable!"
"Neelix, I'm warning you…" The poor Doctor was livid, distort, and totally mortified that it had really come to this. He now knew his ludicrous hunch had been just that… ludicrous.
03:02 – 01 "They're going to be dead in three minutes, stop the damn destruct sequence!" Neelix wasn't about to let up.
"They're dead already." The Doctor only spoke above a whisper as he put his head down in defeat. "It's over. Icheb, get us…"
"Now what? Captain, look!" Icheb's eyes were fixed on the view screen.
"Dear Gods, it's Casper." Neelix choked out his response.
The Doctor didn't say a word as they watched the white cloudy monster seep from within, it's twine-like fingers of fog wrapping around Voyager.
"It was you, wasn't it? You let it out! That's why they are already dead!" Neelix turned to face the Doctor with a look of murder in his eyes.
The Doctor said nothing as the countdown continued. 02:24 – 23 – 22
"I can't believe this! You not only planned on killing them by blowing up the ship, you let that monster loose as well. That is just messed up, DOCTOR!" Neelix himself was about to explode along with Voyager.
"What… Hey… something's happening! I don't think they're dead!" Icheb said excitedly. He was franticly working the control panel. "I'm reading increasing life signs from inside the ship. We've even got life support."
"Look!" Neelix's gaze was riveted on the view screen.
Casper had engulfed itself completely around Voyager, its misty-thin cloak revealing the outside lights of the ship coming to life. The eaten away patches of titanium slowly reforming as Casper swirled faster as if waving goodbye, then seemingly evaporated into space. Voyager was now hovering in a stationary upright position.
My God, I was right. "I was right!" The Doctor was ecstatic. "I was right, it worked!" He was pounding Neelix on the back. "It worked, they're alive, Voyager is alive!"
Neelix spun around in his seat and flung his arms around the Doctor kissing him soundly. "Yes! They're alive, they're really alive!" He couldn't contain his excitement. "Unbelievable!" You're a genius!"
The Doctor rubbed his sleeve over his tainted mouth. "Mr. Neelix, if you EVER do that again, you're a dead man."
"I'm sorry, I mean, I'm really sorry about what I said." Neelix felt horrible and elated at the same time.
"Umm, Captain, Neelix… speaking of dead, the crew is about to be." Icheb pointed to the readout. 01:10 – 09 – 08
"Quick, Icheb, patch me through to the ship's main computer!" The Doctor was back in full panic mode.
"I'm working on it." Icheb was franticly pounding the control panel while fixating on the countdown. "Ok, I think I've got it, hurry!"
"Computer, disengage auto destruct, authorization command hologram, foxtrot, beta, red, nineteen, disable." He stared at the countdown. 00:08 – 07 – 06… "Come on, come on!"
Authorization confirmed. Self-destruct terminated. 00:01
If the Doctor had had a heart it would have stopped beating at that moment. Neither of them said a word, they were hardly even breathing as they stared at the time display.
"Unbelievable!" That seemed to be Neelix's trademark response. He turned again to face his new best friend. "How? How did you know to let Casper out?"
"I didn't know, I just took a chance, a last ditch thought." The Doctor sat back in his seat finally relaxing slightly from their closer than near disaster.
"Well, that was the best thought you'll ever think, but…" Neelix was beaming with excitement, how and why did it work?" He gazed out at Voyager again just to make she was still there.
"It was simple really, almost too simple and so we all missed it. When we first came in contact with Casper some of you were sleeping, some not so there wasn't any way we would have thought to connect sleeping with the cure. In the cargo bay watching the crew in stasis it reminded me of them sleeping and it made me wonder if that was the key."
"How was sleeping the key? I mean if some were sleeping and some not, what is the connection?" Icheb joined the conversation.
"You, Neelix and the nightmares. Let me explain. You and Neelix were born with the genetic marker. Another Delta Quadrant surprise to us, however, it was only activated when Casper arrived."
"Would it have mattered if we'd have been awake when Casper arrived?" Neelix didn't quite see it yet.
"I doubt it, but you being asleep and the nightmares were the clues I needed. Remember the time we found what we thought was the cure? Well it fact it was, just not all of it. We gave the right antidote to the crew and did all the blood tests with Casper. We thought the antidote wasn't working on the crew only on the blood samples, but it was, it was just dormant, it needed to be activated. We thought the reason was that we were adding Casper directly into the blood and antidote samples and not to the crew themselves. That was the right line of thinking so we used Seven as a lab rat and let Casper loose on her." From his tone he was still not happy about that one.
"I wouldn't call her a lab rat, but either way it didn't work, why?" Neelix was intently trying to grasp the whole thing.
"Because she wasn't sleeping." Both Neelix and Icheb looked slightly dumbfounded. "Well, the first clue was that Casper only thrived in a stasis like state, a sleeping world if you will. So in order for it to thrive, or do it's job to fix the mess it started, its victims had to be in that same sleeping/stasis state."
It was all starting to make sense to Icheb. "So by keeping Casper away from the crew it was like signing their death warrant."
"In essence, yes, but we wouldn't have known they needed to be asleep to receive it, so it would have killed them all anyway. That's why it didn't work with Seven it only made her worse. The next clue I missed was the crew being tortured by nightmares, vivid horrible images of death some said. Even in stasis. I'm sure now that it was the nightmares causing their life signs to fail. They literally were being scared to death."
"So they weren't safe whether awake or asleep? What a nightmare it must have been for all of them." Neelix said with compassion.
"I'm sure it was. Casper fed and thrived on their nightmares because they didn't have the genetic marker, and when they did we kept Casper away from them, hence, they continued to age mentally, emotionally, and physically. We were killing them by trying to keep them safe; we were killing the ship as well. They were all dying as much from the nightmares as the physical nightmare of aging."
"It sounds like Casper was more like a… dreamcatcher then." Neelix knew the term and what it meant from Chakotay, but he never liked them, they gave him the creeps.
The Doctor smiled. "Casper is the Dreamcatcher, we just didn't see it as such."
"So whatever this Dreamcatcher is it wouldn't have affected the crew at all if they'd all have been born in the Delta Quadrant?" Icheb asked.
"Exactly, well, more like an assumption. The Dreamcatcher is only a Delta Quadrant nightmare. It thrived; you could even say it fed on the minds of the crew causing the physical as well as mental aging. While the crew weakened it became stronger, it grew on their suffering and latterly took the life out of them by ageing them.
Neelix sighed with understanding and gratitude this nightmare of universal proportions was over. "The whole thing is just…"
"Unbelievable!" They all three said at the same time then started to laugh. "That it is, Mr. Neelix. I believe we should go home and wake up the crew to give them the good news."
"I'll second that." Icheb engaged thrusters and they headed for home.
"Icheb, do something about the warning beacon on our way past, would ya?" The Doctor was enjoying being the captain while he still could.
"You got it." The red beam of the phaser fire obliterated the annoying obstacle. Icheb guided the shuttle into the open and welcoming door to the cargo bay.
=^=
"Neelix, can you believe this is the same ship we left only a few minutes ago?" Icheb was still in awe over the whole thing. They had dumped their suits the minute they'd landed the shuttle. Life support was back online on most decks.
"It's just unbelievable." Neelix looked around the ship as they made their way to the main cargo bay. He'd put the Doctor in his pocket because they didn't know if any of the holoemitters would be online. "Come on, let's get the Doc there quickly so we can wake up the crew.
The emergency lighting was still their only source of light, but it was a far cry from the darkness that had taken over everything from the physical to the emotional upheaval they'd all faced.
"Do you think there is anything left of… the Dreamcatcher in the containers?" Icheb didn't like its new name and wasn't at all sure he could trust it.
"We're about to find out." Neelix walked in first. Both their eyes went right to the empty containers. He set the Doctor down as he activated his holoemitter. "It looks like our luck is really changing." Casper's two former homes were empty.
"So is mine, at least I didn't land on my butt again." The Doctor spoke as he looked around the room. Neelix and Icheb just smiled at him. "I sure didn't expect to see this place again." He made a quick inspection of the empty containers then walked over to the stasis units.
"If you don't mind I'd like to get started checking some of the ship's major systems. I'll start with environmental as it is one of the most critical areas." Icheb was just anxious to get back to a normal routine.
"That's a good idea, I'm sure we can handle waking up the crew." The Doctor was already checking some of their vital signs for himself. It would be awhile before he would dare truest his own medical equipment or the computer.
"They sure look a lot more peaceful than they did." Neelix was inspecting a few of the units as well. He stopped at Tom's. "I guess we'd better get this lock off before we wake him."
The Doctor walked over to Tom's unit smiling. "Do we have too? I kind of like the idea of leaving him in there."
"Be nice, Doc, he's going to be a daddy soon." Neelix smiled as he found something to cut the lock with.
"That's his only reprieve." The Doctor moved back to the captain and commander's units. "Guess we'd better start with these two sleeping beauties." He hesitated at Janeway's unit just looking at her. She already looked 20 years younger and Neelix was right, she did look at peace. I just hope she will stay that way.
Neelix joined him. "Is something wrong?" A slight flutter of fear ran through him.
"Not yet, but I'm sure the captain isn't going to take too kindly to me disobeying her orders." He really was concerned. She had been so adamant about not letting the Dreamcatcher out he just wasn't sure what to expect.
"She will when she realizes that she's alive, and if not, I'll back you up, Doc." Neelix was serious. In his eyes the Doctor was the hero of the hour and more.
"I'm not sure your backing will help." He pushed a series of tinny control buttons on Janeway's unit bringing her slowly out of stasis. The lid opened automatically.
Neelix did the same with Chakotay's unit and then stepped back to wait. The pair sat up abruptly, total confusion written on their faces. They glanced quickly at each other then around the room. A sight neither of them had expected to ever see again.
Janeway was the first to speak, and it sure wasn't what the Doctor had expected to be her first waking words. He'd thought she would ask how, who, and if, not… "Coffee."
Neelix laughed but was quick to fulfill her order. "Coming right up, Captain."
"You might have a bit of a headache for awhile, so take you time." The Doctor ran his medical tricorder over them. "How do you feel?"
"I don't know, how do I look, Doc?" Chakotay ran his hand over his head, just to check.
"Like an idiot, and I wasn't asking you." The Doctor was back in true form.
"Be careful, Doctor, he still looks a lot like you." Janeway stuck up for her first officer.
"Where's my hair?" Chakotay complained as he climbed out of his unit. He then helped Janeway out as well.
"Here's your coffee, Captain." Neelix brought the steaming cup over.
"Mr. Neelix, you're a life saver." Janeway took the cup gratefully.
"No, that would be our good doctor." Neelix wanted any praise to go to his friend. "If it wasn't for him…"
Janeway didn't acknowledge Neelix as she took her cup and cane and walked towards the empty containers. No one saw her mortified look until she turned back. "You have some explaining to do, Doctor." Her tone left no doubt that he was headed for the doghouse. "For now, let's get the rest of the crew out of stasis. We can't put this ship back together again without them."
"Aye, Captain." The Doctor moved off to help wake the rest of the senior staff first.
"Kathryn, whatever happened just remember he did save our lives, somehow, and I'd love to find out just how." Chakotay spoke softly so no one else could hear.
Janeway's smile was as brilliant as ever. She moved closer to him. "Just between you and me, Commander, he's about to get what he deserves." Chakotay smiled back in understanding. Kathryn Janeway had become a master at the teasing game. "I would love to know just how he did it too, but our first priority is to take care of our ship and crew."
"I agree, let's get cracking, or waking." Chakotay went for Tom Paris' unit first. "Hey, who cut the lock?" He sounded disappointed.
"Sorry, Commander." Neelix spoke up. "I didn't want to see him suffer."
"What's the fun of being alive if I don't have Tom Paris to tease?" Chakotay was so happy to be alive though he could have kissed Tom Paris, but he restrained himself.
"Hey, big guy, watch the teasing, it always comes back to bite you in the butt later." Tom had awakened in a snap and leaped out of his unit before it was even completely open.
Chakotay was laughing. "I'm counting on it, Paris.
Janeway had gotten Harry Kim and Tuvok awakened. Thankfully Tuvok seemed to be his old self, well younger old self. He acknowledged them all with a 'thank you' then headed off to start checking things on the bridge.
The Doctor had gone to Seven's unit next. He was still quite concerned about her. She seemed to have been affected the worst. He still blamed himself for not finding the right cure to begin with. The result being that she had been directly exposed to the Dreamcatcher. "Hello, Doctor." Seven woke up in a pretty good mood. "I assume we are out of danger now." Her dry tone still needed improvement, but you can't ask for too much all at once.
"Yes we are. The ship and crew are safe from the Dreamcatcher's snare." The Doctor continued his medical scan on her.
"Who?" The last thing Seven knew the menses was a Casper, not a Dreamcatcher.
"I'll explain later. For now you're doing much better. In a few days you should be back to normal." The Doctor was relieved.
"Hey, Doc, would you come and check B'Elanna to make sure her and the baby are alright?" Tom was standing by his wife's unit. She was still sitting in it and a bit dazed from her long nap.
The Doctor ran the tricorder over her. "From what I can see, they're both doing fine. I'm going to need to do a complete work up on both mother and baby, but right now it looks good." B'Elanna could only smile.
Janeway had joined them. "I want a complete medical exam on the entire crew, Doctor. I'm not taking any chances this time."
"I'll get on it as soon as we get them all awake." The Doctor agreed quickly having no intention of causing himself more trouble than he was already in.
Janeway just turned her head smiling towards Chakotay who was at Samantha Wildman's unit. He'd already gotten Naomi out of hers. She was once again the young girl he'd grown to love very much. Naomi, however, looked slightly annoyed that she'd have to go through puberty again. Once should be enough for anyone.
They all helped to wake more of the crew, finding them to be none the worse for wear. A few of them had some bumps and bruises from the tussle with Voyager, but they wouldn't complain about that. Everyone was just ecstatic to be alive and younger again.
Janeway and Chakotay were about to head for the bridge. They were more than ready to put the ship back together and that was the place for them to start. B'Elanna along with several others had already gone to engineering to see what they could do there. Everyone had a job to do and they were all ready to do it. It would be a long while before any of them would want to sleep again, however. One nap like that was enough for a lifetime.
"Captain, are you ready to go?" Chakotay was working his way towards the door.
"I'm ready." She answered Chakotay then called out to the Doctor. "I expect a full report on my desk by morning, Doctor." Her slightly harsh tone an act, although she couldn't wait to read that report.
"Aye, Captain." The Doctor dare not say another word.
The command team left the cargo bay. "You're really enjoying this aren't you?" Chakotay wasn't sure she was even joking now.
Her smile confirmed she was, however. "Well maybe a little. I really do want that report sooner than morning, but I'm also trying to see if he has what it takes to be a captain."
Chakotay smiled as well. "Just what does it take, Captain?" They walked into the turbolift.
"Ah, captain's rule number one is… if you're going to dish it out, you better learn to take it. A bit of humility won't kill him." She took his hand in hers. "Rule number two is to always respect your first officer."
"Shouldn't that be the number one rule?" He teased playfully.
"Now what in the world would make you think that?" Their laughter carried them to the bridge.
=^=
Voyager was well on her way at warp eight and her course was steady towards the Alpha Quadrant. The events of the last two months they hoped to leave behind like a distant nightmare. Everything and everyone had gotten back to a sense of normal, the contact with Starfleet the highlight. It had taken a few days to accomplish any normalcy, both for the ship as well as the crew. No one was spared double duty and a visit to sickbay. Captain's orders kept them all too busy to dwell on what had happened, an order even the Doctor couldn't debate.
He knew his time was short before he'd have to face the captain and his possible decommission or subsequent deactivation for disobeying direct orders, regardless of the outcome. That outcome would be walking in the door soon. She was last on his list of medical exams. He knew he'd been avoiding her the last week, but he wasn't sure why she'd chosen to do the same, other than her loathing for physicals.
The entire crew had been declared physically as fit as a fiddle, all but Commander Chakotay, who was still complaining about his hair, or rather lack there of. "Doctor, isn't there something you can do? Even Paris got all his hair back, why not me?"
"Of course there is, Commander." The Doctor walked to the replicator. "Brown hairpiece number six." The fuzzy chunk of hair appeared and he brought it over plopping it on top of Chakotay's head. "Here, instant hair."
Chakotay was not amused as he grabbed the carpet from his head sending it air born behind him. "Your humor is astounding, Doctor."
The Doctor's eyes widened and he started to laugh. "I think you've got one up on me there, Commander." He indicated for Chakotay to look behind him.
Captain Janeway was standing in the doorway with her cane in one hand and Chakotay's flying carpet on her head. Now Chakotay saw the humor in it and joined the Doctor laughing.
"I believe you've dropped something, Commander." She walked up behind him plunking the thing right back on his head. "Might I suggest a bit of glue next time?"
"Be careful, Captain, I might just wear this thing on duty." He said with pride folding his arms.
"Doctor, are you sure the Commander is well? I think you may have missed something in your examination." She teased.
"As well as he ever was. Can I help it if he can't keep his… hair on straight." The Doctor could play the game as well as anyone, sometimes better.
Janeway smiled at her first officer. "I guess not, some things even a doctor can't fix."
"You're all heart, Captain." Chakotay just frowned.
"Speaking of fixing, is your hip still bothering you, Captain?" The Doctor was concerned but also stalling for time. He was a bit nervous even being in the same room as Janeway.
"No, why?" She looked confused.
"The cane. Why are you still using it then?" He was not convinced she was ok.
Chakotay had wondered the same thing because he hadn't used his since the first day out of stasis. He just hadn't thought to ask until now, as they had all been so busy. "Are you really alright, Captain?"
"Of course I am. This cane and I are very close now. Besides, you gave it to me as a symbol of your promise that we'd grow old together. I intend to hold you to it," she looked down at her promise, "or at least hold on to it."
Her smile was genuine and priceless to Chakotay. "A promise I intend to keep, but… let's not grow old again anytime soon. I don't think my hair can take it." He rearranged it to prove his point.
"It's a deal." The command team continued to grin at each other like a couple of school kids.
"Good grief, this tender moment is melting my holomatrix." The Doctor complained. "Would you two like to be alone?"
Janeway just scowled at him. "Later, we do have an important engagement, but for now the Commander was just leaving." She smiled at Chakotay. "Doctor, you and I have a few things to discuss." The Doctor swallowed the imaginary lump in his throat.
"Looks like that's my cue to leave." Chakotay and his new hair left sickbay with a smile and some plans to finish up.
"Let's get this physical over with while we talk, Doctor." Janeway hopped up on one of the examining beds.
"Captain, before I get started I just want to say…"
"Save your breath, Doctor. 'I'm sorry' isn't going to be good enough." She stated rather harshly, while inside she was smiling.
The Doctor kept his eyes focused on his readouts, "but I…"
"No buts, Doctor. Your orders were clear. Under NO circumstances were you to let Casper, or the Dreamcatcher out." She still wasn't used to its new name. "You were also ordered to destroy this ship and crew when the time came. You disobeyed on both accounts." She was having trouble trying to remain the stern-faced captain.
The Doctor continued to run his scans on her. He silently hoped he'd find something wrong to explain her harsh behavior. "Could you sit up please?" Maybe you've got some alien growing out of your back that would explain why you're being so… His thoughts rambled on. She sat up, damn, no alien.
"There are certain procedures to follow, Doctor. Thus, as the captain I can't just overlook them, not this time." She swung her legs over to the side of the bio-bed and hopped down almost on top of him. "The punishment must fit the crime. I can't just let you off the hook."
The Doctor looked down, too angry and surprised at her behavior to make eye contact. "I understand. I'll deactivate myself as soon as I'm finished with your physical."
It was time, Janeway smiled. "Doctor, look at me." She said softly. He looked up ready to take his punishment like a man. "As I said, the punishment must fit the crime." She reached up and undid one of the pips on her collar. "Your punishment for disobeying me is…" she pined the pip to his uniform, "I'm promoting you to our full time ECH along with your duties as chief medical officer." Captain Janeway moved closer and kissed the Doctor on the cheek. "Thank you."
He was beaming, a grin from ear to ear. "I… I don't know what to say."
Janeway was laughing now. "Well that's a first. I think a simple I accept will do." She continued to enjoy his tongue-tied expression.
"I accept." His fingers rubbed over the new addition to his uniform.
"Great. Now, unless you found something life threatening in those scans, can we finish this later? I've still got a million and one reports to go over, including your fascinating tale of our close demise."
"So far so good. You don't look a day older than you should." He noticed her frown. "I mean you don't look nearly as old as you are." The frown turned to a scowl. "What I mean is…"
"Stop, before I rethink my decision." She was having a good time at his expense.
"Sorry, and I don't see a problem at all finishing this later." The Doctor fingered his new pip again and couldn't help the smile. "Captain, that demise was a bit too close."
"No kidding, it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it." She smiled right back, patting him on the shoulder. "I'll see you later, Captain." She added for good measure and headed for the door.
"Captain, I have one request." This time it was the Doctor's turn.
Janeway stopped at the threshold. "What is it?"
"The next time you want me to blow up your ship please warn me of any beacons I might meet."
Janeway could only laugh as she took her command cane and walked from sickbay.
=^=
All she knew of this evenings outing was to dress casual and comfortable. Chakotay wouldn't tell her anymore than that, but whatever he had planed she expected to enjoy every second of it.
Tossing her uniform jacket on the bed she rummaged through her meager wardrobe hoping to come up with something comfortable yet with a slightly sexy undertone. She popped her three remaining pips off setting them on her night table. I better remember to replicate another pip. She smiled again thinking of the Doctor's priceless surprise. They all owed him their very lives, and she would make sure he knew how grateful they were, even if he did disobey her orders.
Well, since my choices are rather limited, this will have to do. She chose a pair of white light cotton pants, nothing fancy. The trouble was picking between two different tops, blue or yellow. She held them both up for inspection. Blue it is. The light-blue silk blouse was simple yet had just the right touch of… provocativeness with its low cut neckline and tailored fit. A white pair of sandals finished off the outfit.
Changing quickly in the bathroom she ran a brush through her soft honey-brown hair. She paused for a moment before looking in the mirror, slightly apprehensive that she would see the decaying skeleton of her nightmares. The reflection this time was much more appealing, even if that stubborn gray streak of hair remained. She smiled brightly, even proudly. I've earned every little gray hair I have. Getting rid of them wasn't an option now.
Ok, this is as good as it gets. She touched up her makeup, brushed her teeth and dabbed a miniscule amount of perfume behind her ears and down her neckline. The sent was light and fresh, nothing overpowering.
She walked back to her bedroom checking one last time to make sure everything was in place. She grabbed her one piece of jewelry, her combadge and her cane then walked to the door. It's now or never old girl. With a smile Kathryn Janeway was ready, now.
=^=
The holodeck program was running and everything was in place, or he hoped it was. I didn't forget anything did I? Chakotay asked himself, and maybe the crickets singing in the background. He'd heard somewhere that the sound of crickets was peaceful, if not romantic.
The crystal blue-green waves lapped against the shoreline in the picturesque evening. Pink and lavender clouds drifting aimlessly in the azure sky were reflecting on the sparkling white sand. The variety of trees with their colorful coats of autumn leaves was home to the evening's musical background.
Chakotay hoped he hadn't forgotten something important as he gazed over his surroundings. The picnic dinner he had put together himself, with a little help from his replicator, which he was very grateful was back online again. The meal consisted of lime and herb chicken, new potatoes in a light cream sauce and asparagus with a hint of butter and herbs. Hot wheat rolls completed the main course. The dessert was a raspberry cheesecake drizzled with chocolate, and of course a bottle of the best red wine Tom had in hiding. That one alone had cost Chakotay a few extra duty shifts.
I guess the only thing missing is Kathryn. He wasn't worried though. She'd seemed as excited about this evening as he did, if that was possible. He checked himself over one last time making sure he hadn't put on one blue sock and one green, or worse. He was dressed in casual kaki pants, a button up silk cream-colored shirt with flecks of gold through it. To top it off were his ever-prominent dimples.
Chakotay spread the blanket out on the white sandy beach and sat down to wait. The first thing he did, however, was to kick off his shoes and socks. Guess it didn't really matter what color my socks were after all. He smiled as he dug his toes into the warm sand, mesmerized by the beauty and crashing sound of the waves. He didn't hear the holodeck door open.
Kathryn walked in taking in the beauty of her surroundings, including her first officer. She smiled when she saw him wiggling his toes in the sand. You've really outdone yourself, Commander, and I mean 'yourself'. She knew he was a sinfully handsome man, but sitting so carefree and in this atmosphere made him even more so. It was as if he'd been painted right into the picture. Her heart fluttered as she kicked off her sandals and walked quietly over to him.
"Is there room on that blanket for two?" She knew she would startle him.
He jumped to his feet so quickly he almost toppled back into the crashing waves, not once but twice when he saw how beautiful she looked. "Kathryn!" He found his balance. "Are you trying to give an old man a heart attack?"
Janeway was laughing. "Well, not yet anyway, and you are not old anymore." She continued to admire the view, as did he.
"I'm not?" He ran his hand over his head. "Has my hair grown back then?"
Janeway moved in for a closer inspection. "I'm afraid not. It looks like you're left with a few missing strands of hair and I'm left with a touch of silver."
"Silver is your color." He ran his hand through her feather soft hair. "You really look beautiful, Kathryn."
"Since you've certainly seen me at my worst, anything is an improvement." Her smile was as dazzling as the white sand. "I have to say you don't look to bad yourself, Commander." She had gotten so used to all the hugging lately that without even thinking about it she slid her arms around him. It felt so right now, as if they had been made to mold together.
Chakotay breathed in her slightly intoxicating perfume as he enjoyed the petal softness of her skin against his cheek. He could have lived in that moment forever, but his stomach had different ideas. The rumble of it vibrated against Janeway.
She started laughing. I guess this is a good time to ask what's in the basket?" She let go of him. "It sounds like you need to feed the beast."
"I guess I'd better or we'll have an all out war between man and beast." They were both laughing as he brought the large basket over to the blanket. Janeway was still standing. "I hope this is alright, I mean the blanket? We could whip up a table if you'd rather."
"No, a picnic wouldn't be right with a table. I was just admiring the view." They both sat on the blanket, Chakotay unloading the basket. The smell of the food made Janeway's stomach join the beast in song. Their laughter echoed with the crashing waves.
"I guess I don't have to ask if you're hungry." He filled their plates with the heavenly aroma, both their stomachs sang out again.
"Apparently not." She grabbed a warm roll taking a generous bite. Chakotay pulled the bottle of wine out. "This is the perfect setting and from the smell of it the perfect meal, but you did happen to leave the ants out of this paradise setting didn't you?" She continued to munch on the roll while he opened the wine.
"I did indeed, you don't have to share you dinner, but did you notice something else?" The wine cork popped from the bottle.
"I did, that was the first thing, well maybe the second I noticed when I walked in. I love the sound of crickets. It reminds me of being home on a warm summer night. It's just a comforting, peaceful feeling somehow." You could see the distant memories surface in her eyes.
"So I've heard, and I do have to agree. Those little cricket bugs are the perfect symphony." He poured the wine.
"Indeed, and you don't have to share your food with them." Janeway swallowed the last bite of roll as she took the offered wine glass.
"A toast," Chakotay held his glass up to hers, "to growing old together, the slow way."
Janeway smiled as their glasses touched. "I think I can live with that."
They enjoyed their meal almost as much as each other's company. The setting was perfect with a slightly warm breeze tousling Janeway's hair. The sight of her alone could feed Chakotay forever, if his stomach would agree. Their dinner conversation remained on the upbeat positive side. They both knew they would end up talking about this latest disaster, but for now it was only about happier times. Chakotay had gobbled up his cheesecake and was eyeing Janeway's last bite. "Are you going to eat that?"
She had her fork ready to grab it. "Yes." Chakotay pulled out all the stops with his puppy-dog sad face. "Fine, I'll share it with you." She cut the piece in half with her fork. "One for you," she slid the fork of sweet into his mouth, "and one for me." Janeway licked the fork clean. "Heavenly." She closed her eyes enjoying the last silky bite just as Chakotay brushed his lips delectably over hers.
"I'll say. Heaven couldn't be sweeter." Chakotay was totally fixated on her as she ran her tongue over her lips. Even the crickets had stopped their serenade as if they could sense the intense moment.
"I think I could get used to that kind of dessert." Her smile was all he needed to believe her every word.
He tenderly kissed her again, just for practice, and then smiled himself. "This is one item on the menu I'm happy to provide."
Her whisper-light touch on his cheek was her only reply on the subject. The crickets had started their song again and the evening breeze had brought them both back to life. "How about a walk along the beach?"
"I thought you'd never ask." They both got to their feet laughing at the silliness they were feeling. Janeway reached for her cane. "You're really attached to that thing aren't you?" He couldn't help it. He never thought she would be so attached to it.
"I am and it comes in handy." She playfully tapped him on the arm with it.
"That's what I'm afraid of." They walked down by the water's edge. "Hang on." Chakotay bent down and put a couple of cuffs on her pant legs. "Better safe than wet." He smiled then did the same to his own pants.
"You're such a gentleman." Hand in hand they started a slow walk along the sandy shore.
"Thank you, Ma'am, and may I say you have such cute little feet. It's a shame you have to hide them in Starfleet boots everyday."
"My feet tend to agree with you." She walked in the soggy sand letting the water splash over her feet. The combination of water and sand was like a magic foot massage. She felt more content than she had in a long time.
"So tell me, how did the Doctor like his promotion?" Chakotay asked casually.
So much for contentment, she sighed, knowing their conversation would lead to the Dreamcatcher nightmare soon. "He was… tongue-tied to say the least, it was perfect."
"The Doctor tongue-tied is a rare moment, whish I could have seen it." Chakotay was laughing softly at the thought.
"I did have him going there that's for sure." Janeway was smiling herself at the memory.
"I still can't believe you made him suffer for so long. I was beginning to feel sorry for him." A large wave smacked into them getting both their pants wet to the knees. "So much for keeping our pants dry."
"Oh well, holo-water dries fast, and I didn't make him suffer, well not too much. I've just mastered the art of teasing, I had a good teacher."
"Tom?" He said playfully.
"Among others." The tone in her voice suddenly changed to the more serious. "I just read the Doctor's account of what happened again. It really gives me the creeps. It's like reading a horror story with us as the main characters."
"I know, I've read it three times and I still can't believe just how close we came to… not being." It gave Chakotay the same creepy feeling to even think about it.
"What bothers me almost as much is that I, we, didn't pick up on the sleeping thing. I mean we all had the nightmares, all but the three who saved our lives, it should have made sense to at least one of us."
"I'm not even sure it makes sense to me now. The whole thing is just too outlandish. We come across something that we can't even define as something. We start to age as fast as lightning and then the nightmares, and the fact it didn't like us Alpha Quadrant types. There were just too many pieces of the puzzle missing and even when we thought we had them all, the last piece was still missing."
"We really do owe our lives to the Doctor. If he hadn't thought to ask Neelix…"
"It was a pretty tight call, but we're here, if only by one second." Chakotay was still amazed at how close they had come to dying, and how close he'd come to never having this moment.
"That's all it takes, well that and our ECH, who will never let us forget it I'm sure."
"You can count on that. He's going to be a royal pain to live with now." Chakotay could just imagine.
"At least we get to LIVE with him." She looked out over the ocean. "Chakotay, I truly never expected to see you or my ship again. I don't think I've ever been so scared as I was that moment before we went into stasis, and then the nightmares."
"I know what you mean. Blowing up with Voyager would have been a blessing at one point, and I'm sure most would agree." Chakotay's own nightmares had felt all too real, as real as she felt right now. He held tighter to her hand. "Kathryn, have you talked with any of the others about their dreams?"
"A few, Naomi, Sam, B'Elanna. They were all just as horrific as mine. Poor Naomi was trapped in hell with rats biting at her. That Dreamcatcher as everyone is calling it now sure played on our biggest fears. Of all the threats we've faced in this quadrant I think this has been the worst, on all of us, physically and emotionally."
"I won't argue that. It's at times like this that we could really use a ship's counselor."
"Well, he/she would sure have their work cut out for them with this crew." She smiled up at him. "You wouldn't happen to be volunteering for the job would you?"
"I've been known to have a good listening ear, well now that my hearing is back that is." He let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Would you like to talk about it?"
"I don't really want to talk about the nightmare. It was pretty much the same as the ones I told you about, only more intense." She shivered slightly from the memory. Chakotay just held her closer. "I will say one thing though, you sure look better in the waking world then the walking dead world."
Chakotay couldn't help but laugh. "Now that's quite a compliment, and not one you hear everyday."
She popped him on the arm with her cane. "Would you be serious."
"I am, and would you quit poking me with that damn thing." He pretended to be suffering.
"What a big baby. I hardly touched you." She chastised with a smile.
"I'll show you big baby." Before she knew it she was swept up in his arms and on her way out into the ocean.
"Don't you dare!" She wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Oh I dare, it's just too tempting for the real tease master. Besides, it's only holo-water, it dries fast."
"Chakotay… you…" SPLASH! "Are a dead man!" She finished as she came up for air.
Chakotay was quite wet himself and laughing so hard he didn't see it coming. Janeway grabbed her floating cane using the hooked end and wrapped in around the back of his leg pulling him off balance and butt first into the water. She now joined him in laughter as he came up for air. "I told you, it comes in handy."
The game of splash and dunk continued for a few more minutes until they'd both had their fill of revenge. Drenched to the bone they walked hand in hand back to the blanket. Chakotay had a hard time keeping his wandering eyes from… wandering.
Janeway hadn't missed the eyes. "You'd better be looking at a snail in the sand there, Commander." She smiled despite the warning. Maybe I shouldn't have worn white, then again…
"I didn't see a thing and you can't prove that I know you are not wearing Starfleet issue underwear." To Chakotay their heavenly evening had just surpassed heaven.
Janeway's smile was angelic, not that Chakotay was looking at her smile. "Then thank God I put underwear on at all."
"That would depend on your point of view, Captain."
"You're impossible!" She said while laughing.
"You've said that before, but what I want to know is… does this mean you don't wear underwear under your uniform?" This time he jumped out of the way fast enough to dodge the oncoming cane.
"I think I'll just let you contemplate that for awhile." She slid her arm around him again. "Come on, it's getting cold now. I'll let you build me a fire to get warm."
They made it back to the blanket just as the sun was starting it's decent into the ocean. "My fire building technique has improved greatly you know."
Janeway sat in the warm sand. "Is that so? I'm waiting."
"Ok, watch this." He sat across from her. "Computer, make fire." An instant later a nice warm fire burned between them.
"My hero." Janeway teased as the reflection of the firelight danced in her ocean blue eyes.
The silence stretched on, as they sat starring mesmerized at the firelight as well as each other. "Computer, delete fire." There was no barrier between them now and Chakotay moved over to her. "Kathryn, I…"
Janeway brushed her fingers over his lips. "I know." The heat between them could match any fire the computer could dish up.
Chakotay gently guided her to a lying position on the blanket; his hand softly caressed her cheek, the electric touch moving down her neck. His lips moved closer to hers, their hearts beating in tandem with the musical crickets.
"Captain Janeway to the bridge." The voice of Harry Kim interrupted.
Damn! She swallowed the lump in her throat while rolling her eyes. Chakotay just smiled and moved back. "What is it, Harry?"
"I'm sorry to interrupt your evening, but we're receiving some kind of distress call."
Janeway bolted to a sitting position and smiled brightly. "Finally someone else is in this dead region of the Delta Quadrant. Harry, can you tell who or what it's from?"
"No, Captain. We're trying to clear it up now. So far we can't get a visual on it either."
"Ok, keep at it we'll be there in a minute, Janeway out." She stood up to leave, "It's show time." Chakotay hadn't moved, however. He was just laughing at her. She turned around to see what he was up to now. "What's so funny, Commander?"
"You. I just realized you really can't help it can you? You do love this captain stuff." He stood up and brushed the drying sand off himself and her. "You're like a kid in a candy store, only your store is a quadrant full of goodies."
She was laughing now as she held tightly to his arm. "I suppose I do, it's in my blood. The thrill is never far from the fear."
"Well you do attract both." He bent and picked up her cane. "Don't forget this."
She took it from him with a smile. "I'll never forget, besides, I might need it for protection later."
"Not with me, Kathryn. I'm only the thrill, not the fear." His smile showed nothing but thrill. "Computer, door."
"We shall see." With matching thrill seeking smiles they left their paradise behind. Janeway looked down at her now dry pants. "I do love that holo-water."
"Speak for yourself. Computer, end program." The door closed leaving behind an empty hologrid and two pairs of shoes.
=^=
"Captain, I think we're getting something." Harry spoke as they walked off the turbolift.
The…is a…vessel. The ship…Take any…
"We need a bit more than that, Harry, keep trying to clear it up." The command team walked to the lower deck. Harry and Tuvok choosing wisely not to comment on their attire. "Do we have any visual yet?" Captain Janeway suddenly had a bad feeling.
"I'm trying." Harry worked the control panel like a pro. A faint hazy image appeared on the view screen.
"Captain," Tuvok said from the tactical station. "It appears to have a Starfleet signature."
Janeway's bad feeling leaped to Chakotay as well. "Harry, magnify the view screen." All thrill was lost to fear once again.
The cloudy image appeared closer now and slightly more visible taking on the shape of a ship.
"Dear God!" Janeway whispered as they all stared in total disbelief.
Extreme caution, the Federation Starship Voyager is a quarantined vessel. An unknown substance has contaminated the ship and her crew. Take any and all precautions. The warning cut through the silence like a knife.
Extreme caution, the Federation Starship Voyager is a quarantined vessel… Janeway raised her hand indicating for Harry to cut audio. He did so without a thought, his breathing still on hold.
Voyager's decrepit condition was obvious as the image cleared and the white cloud thinned out dancing around the dead ship. "Have we been stuck in a deadly dream this whole time?" Janeway only spoke above a whisper.
Chakotay grabbed hold of her hand, he was still dazed. "No, we're in a living nightmare." He held her hand almost tight enough to break the bones in her fingers.
She didn't notice. "Tom, all stop." Janeway put her free hand on his shoulder, shaking him to get his attention.
Tom Paris had never in his life been this close to utter shock as he was at that moment. He brought Voyager to a dead halt. "Aye, Captain, all stop."
For countless minutes they just stood in total silence watching the magnified image of their ship being engulfed by the cloudy monster known as the Dreamcatcher.
"Hey, why did you take my…" B'Elanna walked through the turbolift doors. "Kahless!" She almost tripped going down the steps when she saw the view screen. "What the hell is going on?" She walked over to stand behind her husband.
"Tom, reverse engines and get us the hell out of here!" Chakotay gave the order, only a fraction of a second too late.
The image of Voyager on the screen started to vanish as the white hell changed direction and headed straight for them. Its waltzing cobweb-fingers were reaching out to snare its next victim.
"Here we go again!" Tom said as he closed his eyes as if the impact was about to destroy the ship, with him first.
The Dreamcatcher wisped around Voyager within a few seconds then dissipated from view, well for those with their eyes open anyway.
Silence and horrified dread prevailed a moment or two longer. Janeway was the first to speak. "Chakotay, please tell me you didn't feel that." Referring to the horrible chill she'd felt in the air the first time.
"I didn't feel anything." The command team eyed everyone on the bridge for conformation. All heads nodded in agreement, no one had felt the icy chill.
"Harry, put the outside of the ship on the view screen." Janeway held her breath again.
A second later they were looking at the cloud-incrusted free hull plating of Voyager. She looked as if nothing at all had just happened. All outside lights were on, no damage that they could see, everything looked as it should. No sign of the white coating like before.
"Could it be we're ok this time?" Tom hardly dared ask.
"Commander, you're breaking my fingers." Janeway said as she pulled her hand free of his crushing grip and turned her attention to Tuvok. "Report."
"There are no damage reports and all systems seem to be fine." He was as perplexed as the rest of them.
"Janeway to engineering, any problems down there?"
"Ayala here, Captain. No problems we know of. We're just waiting for confirmation to resume course. Has something happened?"
"I don't think so, just stand by, we'll be under way in a minute, Janeway out."
"I better get to engineering, just in case." B'Elanna was still stunned herself, but gave her husband's shoulder a squeeze. "You ok, Fly Boy?"
He hadn't even acknowledged that she was there. "I… think so."
B'Elanna was laughing now. "That makes me feel so much better." She returned Janeway's smile as she left the bridge.
"Tom, I think this time we really are alright. None of us felt the cold and we do have the antibodies in us now, unless this has all been a bad dream, in which case none of this is real and I better wake up damn soon, we should all be ok." Janeway had some doubts as to just what had been going on the last two months, but the cane in her right hand felt real enough. The look she saw in Chakotay's eyes felt real enough as well.
They looked at each other intensely while coming to the same conclusion that it didn't matter anyway. They were real and their lives together would be real. Chakotay put his hand over hers and both held tightly to the treasured command cane. "Ready?" He smiled brightly.
"I' was born ready. Lieutenant, Paris, warp nine. Engage." Voyager streaked through the Delta Quadrant leaving the nightmare behind.
