(I turned sixteen last month! Go me. Except I didn't really want to be sixteen.... humph. Anyway, that and review are all I have to say.)
Chapter Five: Following the Leader...
When the lady Aeris opened the door of her apartments both her bodyguard and her fiancée were standing with their hands clasped behind their backs. The air in the hallway was extremely strained.
"We have awaited you rising, my lady." Rufus smiled in his most greasy manner, he seemed to mistake the smarmy and unpleasant expression for charm.
"You flatter me, highness." Aeris tried to incline her head coyly, but she didn't find Rufus' attitude encouraging to flirtation.
Rufus bowed. Cloud was waging an internal battle, trying to resist the temptation to thwack the young prince upside the back of the head while it was bent so perfectly in range for him to do so. Aeris seemed to hide a giggle behind her hand as she watched the development of this clash of will in the depths of her bodyguard's eyes.
"If it would please my lady," the prince went on as he straightened up and out of harm's way... in general. "I have arranged for you to view the opera from the royal box. It is fitting for you to go on outings from the palace and the nobles deserve to meet their queen face to face- the parade upon your arrival was not sufficient."
Aeris nodded consent, smiling at how quickly a chance for her to leave this insufferable palace had come up.
Cloud was considering the new information that Rufus had passed on to him unwittingly. He had not known there was a princess coming when he was in the slums, and he certainly hadn't known that there was a parade in her honour. What exactly were the news stations that broadcasted in the lower sectors telling their viewers? Certainly not the news, it seemed... How much was the government really keeping from the people? How much was a sham? Was there anyone to trust?
The monarchy was doomed if the ruling class continued like this... people only take so much. Cloud had seen a rebellion once before and the short-lived violence was more than enough to leave aftermath to the day he now stood next to the crown prince. Rufus wasn't even alive at the time of the revolution... Cloud shuddered as waves of memories passed over him, he had been in the center of the unrest in more ways than one and he had seen things no child the age he had been should ever see.
'Fool them once shame on you, fool them twice shame on them... The people of Midgar won't stand for shame, Rufus and they won't stand for your crown games.'
Rufus was returned the lady Aeris' smile, or at least he was trying to- it was obvious he was in haste to leave the situation and his fiancée behind him. "Whenever you are prepared to leave the carriage will be waiting and ready." The prince bowed again and made his exit.
"So what are you doing today?" Aeris prodded Cloud with a laugh, leaning forward to look into his downcast eyes, wondering if he caught the joke.
"I go wherever you go, my lady."
Aeris sighed heavily, despairing at ever having anyone at the palace to really talk to. 'I wonder how that sense of humour is coming...'
"Unless," Cloud continued, his tone remaining totally level and his face serious, "of course, you go into the dear prince's bedchamber- in which case, you'll have to excuse me if I'd rather not."
'Fairly well!' Aeris answered her own silent question as she laughed in absolutely delighted surprise.
"Otherwise, my lady, I am at your service." Cloud grinned as he bowed, endlessly pleased that he had managed to make her laugh- not to mention the ease with which he had talked to her. He thought perhaps he was getting better.
"Well, I'm ready to go now- shall we see what on earth Rufus means by a carriage?" She took Cloud's arm, laying her fingers lightly over his knuckles and letting her forearm hover just above his- absolutely perfect form in the Midgarian court. She never even wondered how Cloud's form was just as perfect as she waited for him to lead the way.
"...My lady," Cloud began as Tifa stepped out of Aeris' entourage to guide them, "...Did the prince tell you... what I'm really here for?" The former street rat was uneasy now that he'd made his sudden decision to actually carry on a conversation with Aeris, not knowing how much she knew and how much of his mission was top secret. Her arm felt hot and heavy on his.
"You mean the fairly tale romance we're meant to put on for the people? Our great debut as thespians?" her tone was clear and unhesitant, but she looked away as she said it. The lady didn't approve of her fiancée's games with his people, that much was obvious.
"Yeah..." Cloud was watching her intently, trying to analyze her reactions.
"It was in the letter he sent me." Aeris said with a sigh, waving her hand dismissively, "I should tell you now, well we're thinking of it; I'm not going to kiss you. I don't care what his highness wants, I won't do it unless there is some sort of dire emergency... or if I mean it..." 'Why the heck did you say that? He was finally coming out of his shell!' Aeris chided herself mentally, biting her lip and wishing she could take the suggestive sentence back into her mouth.
Cloud swallowed and a lengthy, awkward silence pervaded the corridor, broken only by the soft sound of the party's footfalls.
"Oh." Cloud mumbled belatedly, wishing frantically he could escape from this. That was probably the sole upside to living in the slums: there was no ugly situation you couldn't run like hell in the opposite direction of.
"Anyway," Aeris chirped cheerfully, anxious to change the subject, "Do you like opera, Cloud?"
Cloud shrugged, "Haven't been to one in a really long time."
Ahead as she opened the lock on a palace door, Tifa bristled. 'How could he have been to an opera at all? He was living in the slums, on the street, you don't get any lower than that... H e has to be lying to her... but why? It's not like he'd want to impress her, the man's made of ice.' She half considered saying as much- but decided against it. An outburst would cause trouble she didn't need, and she could always corner him later.
"Then it will be almost new to both of us. I've never been, but I was told much... a long time ago, when I was very young." Aeris seemed cheerful to be making small talk, despite how her voice became suddenly distant near the end of her statement.
"Last time I went it was really high class..." Cloud said quietly, his gaze drifting.
"But why couldn't Tif come?" Cloud's small, soft, but insistent voice asked as he peaked over the gold railing of the opulent box, tiny hands gripping it on either side of the huge blue eyes. Blue eyes totally unearthly and almost disturbing to see due to the faint glow emanating from their depths, tinting Cloud's eyelids and the tops of his high, sharp cheekbones with electric blue. As the house lights dimmed, the twin orbs shone like tiny stars from the darkness of the balcony box.
"Why, Missus?" his full lower lip jutted in annoyance as he waited for his answer, using his pet name for her despite his frustration, mostly because he had practically forgotten her real name.
Cloud's nurse lifted her charge away from the railing and installed him in his heavily padded seat, " 'Cause it wouldn'a be appropriate, young mast'a."
"Why?" he persisted,
" 'Cause poor folk an' rich folk ain't mean ta be friends."
Cloud looked ahead at the beginning of the performance, his small brow furrowing as he considered what his nanny had said and wondering if this was why Tifa never wanted to talk to him. He'd worried for a while she just thought he was weird... just like everyone else.
Cloud fell silent and his eyes stayed on the floor for a long time. 'Tifa...' he wonder just how long it had really been since he'd seen her, he'd never thought about it before. And he hadn't really seen her anyway, with the guard mask hiding her features from view. 'Tifa, why did you hate me so much? It was because of my eyes wasn't it... because I wasn't like you or your friends...because I was different from everyone else in the whole world...'
Cloud shook his head trying to silence the voice of his child self's questions- these weren't the answers he wanted anymore; he wasn't the same person anymore. He'd lost his innocence and naivete, he didn't care about people. Especially not Tifa, why would he, she was never anything any better than decent to him and she was rarely that.
Aeris touched his upper arm with her free hand, "Cloud? Are you all right?"
He shook his head again, "I'm fine."
"You don't look fine- do you want to talk about it?"
Her kind eyes finally managed to draw his gaze and Cloud felt a twinge of something he couldn't identify, "I'm sorry my lady... I... I don't want to talk about anything."
Aeris didn't look hurt, as Cloud had worried she would (then he really would have been lost), instead she seemed to understand she'd found some raw nerve.
"All right, Cloud, very well."
"Aeris..." he cursed his inability to let it go without making sure she didn't feel snubbed. He'd grown so used to displaying total indifference to society in general he'd forgotten how to be delicate- he'd practically forgotten how to have a conversation that didn't involve death threats and fiendish mockery.
"It's all right." She smiled at him, "Hey, are you supposed to go to the opera as Rufus or as my bodyguard? He said the nobles should meet me up close, so..."
"He didn't tell me I had to play at being him, and I'm not getting trussed up in that get up of his unless I absolutely have to."
Aeris giggled, "I guess you have a point."
Before they knew it, they stepped into the open air- or what passed for it in Midgar. The plate was better than the slums, of course, but it seemed to be plagued by perpetual cloud-cover, likely caused by the endless industry of the enormous city. All the company heads were gluttonous and no amount of power or intrigue seemed to state their appetite.
Cloud jerked his head up, feeling his thin cheeks warm as the tiny rays of sunlight that managed to pierce the smog bathed his pale face. His skin was almost deathly white in this natural light, years of living beneath the plate having drained the colour from him and replaced it with a vaguely green hue. Here in the sunlight he looked sickly, the unhealthy shade of his skin contrasting with the strikingly beautiful, rare gold of his hair and the bottomless electric blue of his eyes. Every line of sternness in his expression and every curve of muscle in his body was sharply defined by light and shadow in extremes. Black and white, the shades of gray he was always shrouded in taking refuge from the light.
Aeris looked up at him, her own complexion was fair and freckled, but still natural and healthy. Something stirred inside her as she watched him, she knew it wasn't right for anyone to be so removed from the real world, so engrossed in the technology of Midgar... She was thankful they were outside or she would never even have known; the palace was as typically enshrouded in dim gray as the slums. Aeris wished she could help him somehow, make certain he got out of the prison of the city; Cloud was the first person she'd met in years who didn't... She couldn't think of that, it would only make it worse.
Cloud took a deep breath, heady on the somewhat-fresh air. He hadn't been out of the desecration of the slums in so long he had forgotten what it was like to really be outside. Not that he had a choice... he needed to hide, and there was no place better to disappear than the Midgar slums.
"It's great to be outdoors, isn't it?" Aeris said, her smile dazzling and radiant in the morning light as she tried to make the best of the short time she would be able to enjoy it.
"I was outside- for real- once." Cloud murmured, waiting for Tifa to show them the 'carriage' Rufus had been talking about.
"What do you mean? Isn't this real?" Aeris turned up her face to see him better, clearly puzzled.
"I mean outside of Midgar... where it's still green..." Cloud let one of his extremely rare smiles light his handsome face, "There are so many flowers and plants and trees, Aeris, it's like a dream. It was like a dream and I didn't want to wake up..."
Aeris stared up at him in astonished, happy wonderment.
He seemed to shake himself free from his trance and the light that had been growing behind his expression dimmed, "Not that the world will survive long under this tyrant king- or his s-son." The street rat stuttered for the first time since Aeris had met him and suddenly seemed to realize how much of himself he was allowing to show and promptly clamed up.
"Cloud... do you think the prince will ever let me leave the city?" Aeris asked quietly, she had never been outside Midgar's machine-operated world. The real world, with grass and flowers and trees... really was just a dream to her, a dream she had every night and wished desperately to come true.
Cloud just shrugged, choosing not to notice Aeris' eyes glisten wetly for a moment before she composed herself.
"My lady! Your transport arrives to take you to plate seven, the shopping district." Tifa announced, feeling like a master of ceremonies at a curious. She was a trained fighter, damn it! She needed a real assignment, but they always held her back from any action that ever came her way, she felt like a porcelain doll in a glass case.
"The shopping district? I thought we were going to the opera..." Aeris looked to Cloud and then back at Tifa.
"The prince wishes my lady to purchase a new wardrobe," Tifa wished she could mock herself, her own endless droning of formalities starting to get to her, "The opera does not begin until eighth sounding." She was trying not to be short with the lady. Why did her charge have to be a dim bulb? Then again... perhaps she was judging Aeris rather harshly. Probably. It was Cloud's fault anyway if she was.
"Oh, of course." Aeris blushed, feeling silly. She looked up at Cloud, expecting him to be laughing at her- but his electric blue eyes were as dull as they ever got. And besides which, he wasn't even looking at her, he seemed to be far away from the Midgarian peer....
'She reminds me of someone...' Cloud's inner voice mused, 'Someone important... It's one of those things I'm always shutting out. Why don't I want to remember? Why am I too afraid to let it in...?'
A faint buzzing noise was heard by Aeris and Tifa as they stood in stony silence by the rails on the plate. It grew steadily louder, but the oncoming vehicle was not the heavy train Aeris had been expecting. A blur of sleek, silvery white flashed by them, a rush of wind disturbing their hair and clothing. The carriage came to a halt with a high pitched screech, revealing itself to the two pairs of eyes that had never seen anything like it before. It was squat, the body curled under the rail, gripping it like a child's arms wound around their mother's leg. The cab itself had long arching windows over its nose, tinted to obscure the inside. The nose and tail were both pinched inwards; no means of propulsion visible on the sleek craft.
Cloud looked at the tiny car doubtfully, it was about two man-height long and one half high.
"The carriage, my lady." Tifa bowed and then walked over to the sunken track where the mole-like vehicle hunched. She lay her hand flat against the side, then tapped it with her free hand. There was a hiss as part of the smooth side became outlined and then lifted up to reveal the shadowy interior.
Cloud came forward, crouching to look inside before stepping in and turning back to help Aeris down. He gritted his teeth in frustration, however, as he tried to maneuver into one of the craft's steel-framed mesh seats. He bashed his shoulder for the fifth time in the small space, cursing quietly under his breath.
"This cabin wasn't built for anything bigger than a mog." He grumbled, surprising himself by actually speaking when nothing needed to be said. He had never been one for unnecessary words.
"I didn't seem have any problems," Aeris sat back in her mesh chair, amused at his antics.
Cloud grumbled some more, wordlessly.
"Of course," the pink-clad lady continued, "I don't have shoulders five spans across."
Cloud just wanted to kill something, feeling the tell-tale warmth rising in his cheeks. No, he took it back; he didn't want to kill just something, he wanted to kill whatever it was that created the horrific phenomena of blushing.
Aeris was very much amused.
* * *
'Bored, bored, bored... What is it with women and clothes, anyway? Women... and Rufus.' Cloud grinned to himself.
"You like it?" Aeris asked as she modeled her latest selection, misinterpreting Cloud's rare visible good mood for approval.
"Huh?" Cloud looked down at her plain black dress, not really interested, "I really don't think you should stake anything on my opinion, lady Aeris." Although the way it hugged the curve of her hip just there was... nope. He would not think about it.
"Well, I'd like to hear it anyway," the woman habitually in pink leaned on the doorframe of the fitting room, smiling enigmatically. "You've hardly said a word since we got here."
Cloud shrugged, his gesture of choice, "I rarely do."
"What? Say a word?" Aeris giggled.
Cloud just nodded.
"Why not?" The lady seemed to grow slightly more serious, standing up straight and letting her hands fall to her sides.
Cloud shoved his own hands into his pockets, turning away from her innocent, probing gaze. "I don't know... I don't... I don't really like people."
"What do you mean? How can you just not like... the world in general like that?"
"I don't trust the whole human race." He said, surprising himself with his honesty and Aeris with his bitterness, "I used to, but I learned the hard way what a foolish thing it was to try to see the good in people...." he shrugged yet again. "People are usually, as I find it, just selfish, cruel and ignorant."
"Cloud..." Aeris started to reach out to him instinctively. It was her impulse to try to make things right with her touch, it had been as long as she could remember.
"Look," the blond continued, not wanting her to try to make him feel any better about the world, "Nothing against you, my lady, you seem real nice.... It's just that no one has ever treated me with a shred of decency and not wanted something back for it."
"I don't know what to say...." She trailed off.
"You don't have to say anything," Cloud started to walk away, "I'll understand when you don't try to talk to me anymore. I'm used to it." He stood at the entrance to the shop Aeris had chosen, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes downcast.
She was at a loss, she couldn't let him think he was right... but once she went over what on earth was she supposed to say? She sighed as she walked, no matter how stupid it sounded, she'd have to say something; Aeris couldn't lose the only friend she was ever likely to have. She was open and caring, it would kill her to have no one at all to talk to.
One step away from him she stopped, looking up at the quarter of his face she could see. He was taller than she was, though not by much. She swallowed as she lay a hand against one of his powerful-looking shoulders.
Cloud flinched.
"What do I have do for you to trust me?" Aeris' soft voice was insistent and determined.
"I don't know." Cloud whispered, looking at the floor and fighting his instinct to shiver at the first touch not intended to harm him he'd received in years.
"Do you think there's anything?"
"Maybe," Cloud shrugged, clenching his teeth as her palm brushed against the bare skin of his shoulder. He'd almost completely forgotten what it felt like to have someone touch him in kindness, "Maybe not..."
Aeris nodded sharply, biting her lip as she lowered her arm; her fingers sweeping down his tense back as she did so.
Cloud couldn't help it this time; he shivered almost violently. Keeping his eyes down, he turned his head a little to bring Aeris into the side of his vision over his shoulder, "...Thank-you," he whispered.
Aeris smiled tightly, "What for?"
Cloud turned around, letting his arms drop to his sides helplessly, "For caring enough to try."
"Don't thank me for that," Aeris replied, her soft eyes bright, "I want to try."
"Don't get your hopes up." Cloud warned, his voice showing rare feeling by sounding melancholy.
"I can't help it."
* * *
Cloud was not Aeris' escort to the opera, instead she went scandalously alone; in the official sense. Her entourage and, of course, her personal bodyguard were indeed present- but they were not considered persons by the Midgarian nobles. Rufus' little oversight made his fiancée's debut rock with gossip about his whereabouts, her nature and everything between. The lady herself did her best to ignore the chatter, but the few words she caught made it difficult not to break down in tears.
"How can they say such things?" she whispered fiercely from her opulent seat.
Cloud's piercing gaze surveyed the scene from behind the thick, velvety curtains, with their aid he remained hidden in the shadows. "I told you, my lady Aeris, people are cruel. Especially when they're jealous... or when someone is different from them." His bitter tone was not lost on his companion.
"Cloud what have you been through? What happened to you to make you the way you are?"
"A lot of things I don't want to talk about." With that Aeris got her first real taste of Cloud's utter and total monotone.
"If you let me in, maybe I could help." She turned her head just enough to see the glint of his eyes in the darkness of the box.
"You don't want in."
"Cloud..."
"You don't." He was matter-of-fact.
"What if I tell you something about me? One thing about me in exchange for one thing about you; then both of us are letting something go and both of us get something out of it. We'd be trusting each other." Aeris waited in tense silence for his answer.
"All right." Came the resigned voice from behind her, closer this time.
She let out a breath of relief, she'd worried the offer might estrange him further. Aeris scanned her mind for something to tell him, recalling one thing that still caused stinging pains in her chest if she let it; "I grew up in the slums in sector five. My father was murdered by a group of thugs when I was two years old."
For a small moment she feared he wouldn't reply, when he did it was quick and curt- and it raised more questions that it gave answers.
"I watched my mother's execution, she died screaming my name."
The silence reigned
* * *
"So what did you find out?" Rufus asked again, his hands clutching the edge of the chair in his office, his knuckles going white with the strain.
Cloud glanced at him with contempt, keeping his arms crossed, "Among other things? That you're a fool. Why would you send her there without an escort- the entire court is gossiping about what's so wrong with her that you couldn't suffer her company for one night." His sudden, aggressive offence caught the young prince by surprise.
"I don't associate with her, that's your job. I hired you so I wouldn't have to become an actor as well as a ruler- so I wouldn't have to deal with her or with the petty social issues she brought with her!" Rufus plunked into his chair angrily, "Why weren't you doing what you're paid to do!"
"She was meeting them 'up-close-and-personal'," Cloud hissed, leaning forward, "I don't look that much like you, highness. If you wanted her to meet the nobles you should have been there."
"I- " Rufus paused,
"You what?"
"You'll find yourself discharged for your insolence if you say one more word out of line." The blond royal stood, resting his palms of his desk.
"I thought as much." Cloud muttered, "You're an idiot, your highness, and I suggest you turn planning these outings over to me if you don't want this whole scheme erupting in your face."
Rufus stared hard at his employee, weighing his options- and whether or not it was worth firing Cloud for his impertinence when he would be so difficult to replace. It wasn't everyday one of his cronies came across someone that not only bore enough resemblance to himself, but could also fight well and be entrusted with information. It also had to be someone clever. Besides which, Rufus didn't want to have to kill him, and he would if he took him off the assignment. Cloud knew too much now to live.
"Very well street rat," Rufus smiled greasily, thinking of other methods of teaching Cloud a lesson later on, "You may decide where you take the lady and when if it is so important to you, but all of your decisions must be approved by me. I wouldn't want you spoiling things for me with a stupid mistake, would I? Now," he became business-like, dusting off his jacket as he started to come around the desk, "you've had a lot of time to talk to my fiancée- tell me what you found out." It was not, by any definition, a request.
Cloud bowed his head slightly in assent, recognizing Rufus' breaking point near at hand and deciding it was not the time to test it, "Not very much," he admitted honestly, "She said her father was murdered when she was little. Your spies were also right, she grew up in the slums."
"There's something you're not telling me, that was too easy..." Rufus narrowed his eyes, "What is it?"
"She and I..." Cloud hesitated.
"Report!" the prince barked out impatiently.
Cloud's eyes flashed, but yet, he replied, "We made somewhat of a bargain. Every time I tell her something about myself she tells me something about her." Cloud turned away sharply, both embarrassed and guilty for betraying Aeris' vote of confidence in him.
Rufus was laughing like a hyena, "You? What could there possibly be to tell about you? Your mother's old clients list?"
Cloud displayed awesome self-control by not even flinching, "I will tell you, prince, what I told your Turk on the streets of sector seven: Don't judge by appearances, because things are often more than what they seem."
"You know," Rufus pointed out amiably, suddenly amused by the whole situation, "You talk a lot more when you're angry."
Cloud was silent.
"I'll have to get you angry more often..." Rufus mused for a moment before turning to his mercenary, "Now get out of my sight."
Cloud grinned grimly, devoid of all humor, "As you wish, your highness." 'Enjoy my obedience while you have it, it won't last forever, fool.'
As he closed the doors to the prince's office, Cloud sensed a presence behind him and whirled around, "Who goes?"
Tifa groaned, wondering what could have possibly given her away, "It's just me."
Cloud grunted, "XI001."
"Excuse me, I have a name, one you seemed pretty interested in yesterday." Tifa was sick to death of answering to a barcode and being walked all over. Well, here was one person she didn't have to take it from and damned if she would.
"I'm not interested in your name or any other part of you, Ms. Lockheart."
Tifa rolled her eyes, "You're a jerk, you know that?"
Cloud looked at her quickly, "Maybe I have a good reason."
"There's no such thing as a reason for being a jerk." Tifa snorted.
"You're very close-minded." Cloud commented as he started to walk the path he'd memorized to his quarters.
Tifa rushed to catch up, "Maybe- but I think it's more likely that you're just a weird jerk-off."
He stopped suddenly, his back rigid. "You know XI001, you've overstayed your welcome."
"You can't tell me what to d- "
"Get away from me." His words came out as a dull hiss through his clenched teeth. 'She hasn't changed...'
Tifa backed away from him, seeing the look in his eyes and rememberimg the way he had tossed her effortlessly into the wall the first day she'd met him. He'd only used one arm and he'd seemed to vault her like a lightweight javilon- it had been one of her best surprise attacks, too. She'd hit that Shinra wall as hard as if she'd been shot out of a canon.
"Why did you lie to the lady Aeris?" Tifa pushed breathlessly, ready to run for it.
"I didn't." Cloud said solidly, taking up a stance that showed he wasn't going anywhere- mentally or physically.
Tifa was coming to the conclusion that this would not be an argument she could win, "You can't have gone to any opera or nothing like that- you're just an orphan; one more homeless bastard in the slums."
"Watch what you're saying and who you're saying it to-" he snapped, "You didn't have a father either, Tifa." His eyes were burning with rage and the words were chosen too hastily.
Tifa's mouth fell open in shock, "How did you know that?"
Cloud shrugged. "What makes you think I spent my whole life in the slums?" he walked away again, and Tifa couldn't bring herself to follow.
