Yoshi, that review was truly gross. Please tell me you wiped the dust off
them first?
156 reviews! Don't mind me, I just like to keep a record so I know what I get for each chapter.
Thank you all! Finally a talent for getting laughed at comes in handy.
'Part 13'
Being awake hurt.
In fact, it hurt a lot.
"Well, it's your own fault. No one made you pour all that liquor down your throat."
Haldir found himself yanked into a sitting position as Tulienne sat down on the bed beside him. She held a glass up to his lips.
"Pinch your nose and drink this," she said.
Too hungover to object, Haldir did. Then he nearly spat the foul-tasting liquid out again. Valar, it was like drinking orc blood mixed with mud from the dead marshes.
"The wedding starts in less than four hours," Tulienne said, thoroughly unsympathetically. "In that time, I have to render you alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic and . . ." she smirked ". . . dressed."
After a few moments, Haldir's fuzzy brain correctly interpreted that statement. Another brief delay followed while the appropriate command was transmitted to his spinal cord. Then he snatched the sheets, which were pooling around his hips, up to his neck.
After a few more seconds, he felt utterly ridiculous for doing so. He was a grown elf, faced with the elleth he intended to marry, and he was frantically covering himself like he was an elfling whose body had just begun to mature.
Tulienne grinned at him, biting her lip. "There really is no need to cover yourself, melamin," she said. "Especially since - and it pains me to have to tell you this - you treated us to quite a display last night. I hope your parents realised what a service they did elleths everywhere by providing us with three such fine male specimens."
It was then that Haldir remembered what had happened the night before. Suddenly. And in agonising detail.
A flood of emotions crashed through his mind. Embarrassment. Pain. A strong desire to castrate a certain heir of Elrond.
And a worrying urge to enquire what her opinion of him had been.
"In answer to one of your many questions," Tulienne said, moving to lie down beside him and running her hand down his cheek, "I wish it was us getting married today, so I could see you again tonight."
He would have found it hard to resist temptation if he hadn't felt so truly awful.
"Have some more," Tulienne said, bringing the cup back to his lips. Haldir clamped his lips shut as his eyes threw daggers at her.
"This is the best hangover remedy Middle Earth has to offer," Tulienne said sternly. "It may taste terrible - although I'm amazed your taste buds are still functioning - but it works, and fast. You're not the only one. All four of you are getting this treatment this morning, providing Ceilwyn doesn't lose her nerve. If I was you, I'd just be grateful you're not Elladan. Arwen is taking care of him and I don't think she'll be wasting her best bedside manner on him. Now drink up and get up. We have work to do."
Half an hour later, Haldir was washed, dressed and feeling much better. Except for the horrible taste in his mouth. Tulienne ushered him out of his talan and the two of them went slowly down the stairs to where Rumil's was.
The sight that met them when they entered was the happy couple entwined in each other's arms, kissing far more closely than - as far as anyone knew - they ever had to date. They were at least dressed, although had they come in ten minutes later . . .
"Sorry to interrupt," Haldir said, raising his voice a little.
Rumil and Ceilwyn jumped apart, flushed guiltily and looked at the floor.
Tulienne grinned at her cousin. "Wyn, when I said just be sure to get him up, that wasn't quite what I meant."
"We were just . . . um . . . " Rumil said awkwardly.
"Practising?" Tulienne suggested.
"Getting warmed up?" Haldir offered, grinning at his brother.
"Imagine," Tulienne said dryly, "six months of chaperone duty and they only start to need it a few hours before their wedding."
"All right, all right," Rumil said, leading Ceilwyn to the door. "Enough joking. We should go see if Orophin is up . . . awake."
"I'm starting to wonder if we should interrupt them," Tulienne said. "We might see sights not suitable for good little elves like me and Haldir."
Haldir infinitely preferred the option of just not being good anymore.
"Come on," Tulienne said. "And you two as well. If we leave you alone, you may not be able to get married in white after all and we don't have time to dye the gown."
***
Apparently Rumil's (fairly) pleasant awakening had helped keep the nerves at bay. He was absolutely fine through breakfast with his brothers, getting into his formal robes and getting to the gardens, where the wedding was being held.
Haldir, Orophin and Rumil were standing together at one side of the altar, as the guests began to gather. Rumil was laughing and joking and looking nothing like the usual picture of the nervous groom, for which Haldir was extremely grateful.
Then it hit. With absolutely no warning.
Rumil froze. His breath suddenly started to catch in his throat. He turned an interesting shade of green.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I can't do this."
Haldir and Orophin exchanged long-suffering glances over his head.
"I . . . think I should . . . go."
Before he had a chance, he was swiftly restrained. Haldir took one arm and Orophin took the other. And held tight.
"I'm sorry, little brother," Haldir murmured into his ear, smiling around him as he did so, "we can't allow you to do that. Do not think we weren't prepared for this eventuality. If you try to run, you will be caught. And in my pocket are some restraints that you may find it very hard to explain to your future father-in-law. So it's in your best interests to calm down and look happy, because you're getting married whether you like it or not."
Rumil smiled weakly as some of the colour returned to his cheeks. "Thanks," he said sheepishly. "I'm okay now, really. Just a little nervous. How much longer do we have to wait?"
"Not long," Haldir said, as he spotted the procession coming towards them across the grass. "Not long at all. Brother, your bride approaches."
"Yours too," Rumil replied, smiling at his brothers.
Haldir sighed. "Not for six very long months."
"Very, very long months," Orophin agreed.
"Very, very, very long months."
Rumil grinned as the wedding procession drew nearer. "Full of long, lonely nights," he said. "I, of course, get to spend all those nights with my lovely wife. Just the two of us. Alone. Doing whatever we feel like doing . . . "
"Shut up, Rumil," Orophin muttered.
156 reviews! Don't mind me, I just like to keep a record so I know what I get for each chapter.
Thank you all! Finally a talent for getting laughed at comes in handy.
'Part 13'
Being awake hurt.
In fact, it hurt a lot.
"Well, it's your own fault. No one made you pour all that liquor down your throat."
Haldir found himself yanked into a sitting position as Tulienne sat down on the bed beside him. She held a glass up to his lips.
"Pinch your nose and drink this," she said.
Too hungover to object, Haldir did. Then he nearly spat the foul-tasting liquid out again. Valar, it was like drinking orc blood mixed with mud from the dead marshes.
"The wedding starts in less than four hours," Tulienne said, thoroughly unsympathetically. "In that time, I have to render you alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic and . . ." she smirked ". . . dressed."
After a few moments, Haldir's fuzzy brain correctly interpreted that statement. Another brief delay followed while the appropriate command was transmitted to his spinal cord. Then he snatched the sheets, which were pooling around his hips, up to his neck.
After a few more seconds, he felt utterly ridiculous for doing so. He was a grown elf, faced with the elleth he intended to marry, and he was frantically covering himself like he was an elfling whose body had just begun to mature.
Tulienne grinned at him, biting her lip. "There really is no need to cover yourself, melamin," she said. "Especially since - and it pains me to have to tell you this - you treated us to quite a display last night. I hope your parents realised what a service they did elleths everywhere by providing us with three such fine male specimens."
It was then that Haldir remembered what had happened the night before. Suddenly. And in agonising detail.
A flood of emotions crashed through his mind. Embarrassment. Pain. A strong desire to castrate a certain heir of Elrond.
And a worrying urge to enquire what her opinion of him had been.
"In answer to one of your many questions," Tulienne said, moving to lie down beside him and running her hand down his cheek, "I wish it was us getting married today, so I could see you again tonight."
He would have found it hard to resist temptation if he hadn't felt so truly awful.
"Have some more," Tulienne said, bringing the cup back to his lips. Haldir clamped his lips shut as his eyes threw daggers at her.
"This is the best hangover remedy Middle Earth has to offer," Tulienne said sternly. "It may taste terrible - although I'm amazed your taste buds are still functioning - but it works, and fast. You're not the only one. All four of you are getting this treatment this morning, providing Ceilwyn doesn't lose her nerve. If I was you, I'd just be grateful you're not Elladan. Arwen is taking care of him and I don't think she'll be wasting her best bedside manner on him. Now drink up and get up. We have work to do."
Half an hour later, Haldir was washed, dressed and feeling much better. Except for the horrible taste in his mouth. Tulienne ushered him out of his talan and the two of them went slowly down the stairs to where Rumil's was.
The sight that met them when they entered was the happy couple entwined in each other's arms, kissing far more closely than - as far as anyone knew - they ever had to date. They were at least dressed, although had they come in ten minutes later . . .
"Sorry to interrupt," Haldir said, raising his voice a little.
Rumil and Ceilwyn jumped apart, flushed guiltily and looked at the floor.
Tulienne grinned at her cousin. "Wyn, when I said just be sure to get him up, that wasn't quite what I meant."
"We were just . . . um . . . " Rumil said awkwardly.
"Practising?" Tulienne suggested.
"Getting warmed up?" Haldir offered, grinning at his brother.
"Imagine," Tulienne said dryly, "six months of chaperone duty and they only start to need it a few hours before their wedding."
"All right, all right," Rumil said, leading Ceilwyn to the door. "Enough joking. We should go see if Orophin is up . . . awake."
"I'm starting to wonder if we should interrupt them," Tulienne said. "We might see sights not suitable for good little elves like me and Haldir."
Haldir infinitely preferred the option of just not being good anymore.
"Come on," Tulienne said. "And you two as well. If we leave you alone, you may not be able to get married in white after all and we don't have time to dye the gown."
***
Apparently Rumil's (fairly) pleasant awakening had helped keep the nerves at bay. He was absolutely fine through breakfast with his brothers, getting into his formal robes and getting to the gardens, where the wedding was being held.
Haldir, Orophin and Rumil were standing together at one side of the altar, as the guests began to gather. Rumil was laughing and joking and looking nothing like the usual picture of the nervous groom, for which Haldir was extremely grateful.
Then it hit. With absolutely no warning.
Rumil froze. His breath suddenly started to catch in his throat. He turned an interesting shade of green.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I can't do this."
Haldir and Orophin exchanged long-suffering glances over his head.
"I . . . think I should . . . go."
Before he had a chance, he was swiftly restrained. Haldir took one arm and Orophin took the other. And held tight.
"I'm sorry, little brother," Haldir murmured into his ear, smiling around him as he did so, "we can't allow you to do that. Do not think we weren't prepared for this eventuality. If you try to run, you will be caught. And in my pocket are some restraints that you may find it very hard to explain to your future father-in-law. So it's in your best interests to calm down and look happy, because you're getting married whether you like it or not."
Rumil smiled weakly as some of the colour returned to his cheeks. "Thanks," he said sheepishly. "I'm okay now, really. Just a little nervous. How much longer do we have to wait?"
"Not long," Haldir said, as he spotted the procession coming towards them across the grass. "Not long at all. Brother, your bride approaches."
"Yours too," Rumil replied, smiling at his brothers.
Haldir sighed. "Not for six very long months."
"Very, very long months," Orophin agreed.
"Very, very, very long months."
Rumil grinned as the wedding procession drew nearer. "Full of long, lonely nights," he said. "I, of course, get to spend all those nights with my lovely wife. Just the two of us. Alone. Doing whatever we feel like doing . . . "
"Shut up, Rumil," Orophin muttered.
