Landslide

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Part 13
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Any conflict that had happened at the inn seemed to have been forgotten, once the four companions had started out again on their journey. Although, Flik supposed, it could have been simply because they didn't want to talk about it. Viktor seemed cheerful as ever - but he knew by now that meant absolutely nothing.

As for Tir and Gremio, they seemed at peace with each other, more so than they had been of late, and on Tir's part, perhaps at peace with many things. They talked quietly as they walked, and smiled despite the chill that left their cheeks red, and Tir at least looked at their surroundings with a serene sort of interest, as if the rolling clouds, promising snow, entranced him.

Gremio, on the other hand, looked edgy and nervous if one looked too close, and with good reason. Flik couldn't blame him at all.

There was only a little ways left to go before L'Renouille; a stretch of plains, a small band of forest, and another, much longer stretch of plains according to Flik's map. They made it to the forest just a little before dusk, and set up camp there for the night - the last shelter they would find before stepping out into the flat land, which would leave them visible and vulnerable for great distances. There was a tension in the air that was almost palpable, at least to someone who had seen as much of battle and war as Flik.

Once dinner had been started and Gremio was occupied, Tir settled in the dead, frozen grass at the edge of the camp, daydreaming, while Viktor grew tired of Flik's disinterest in sparring with him and opted to attack an old dead tree instead. The surrounding area was silent, aside from Viktor's vague battle grunts and the sound of splintering wood, as Flik slipped away from their camp. He had an awful lot on his mind as well.

Flik was sitting under a tree, gazing up at the trees and absentmindedly braiding three long blades of half-dead grass together, when Gremio appeared, looking strangely dejected. He paused, clearing his throat uncomfortably. "I, ah... do you want to be alone?"

"Ah, no... I was actually thinking of talking to you myself," Flik assured him. He wasn't exactly surprised to see Gremio, somehow. "Come and sit, if you would like to..."

Gremio, on the other hand, did look surprised, but sat down beside him as invited. "...You wanted to speak to me...?"

Flik nodded. "But you may go first."

Gremio's words were reluctant, hesitant. "What I have to say might... change things."

"Funny, I might say the same thing..." Flik muttered with a frown.

"Really..." Gremio considered. "Well, I've only a favor to ask... so please, go ahead."

"You want to leave?"

His eyes widening, Gremio looked at Flik in alarm. "W-well..." he stammered, "it's not that I want to leave. Wh... what gave you the idea...?"

"Logical deductive reasoning," Flik told him, folding his arms over his chest with a sigh. "What could you possibly be asking a favor from me for, other than to look after Tir?"

Gremio frowned. "...I suppose I could have been asking you to gather more firewood before dinner."

"A task such as that, you would not have sought me out."

Gremio thought about that for a moment, and nodded reluctantly. "You're right... I'd have done it myself. And Viktor is not making such a task difficult anyhow..."

Flik chuckled softly. "I fear for the life of the forest if we stay here much longer."

Almost grateful for the lightness, Gremio smiled faintly. "...I should explain myself."

"I think it would be best if you did..."

"Tir and I talked a bit, just recently..." Gremio began. "I confessed that I'd been thinking of leaving, just to avoid hurting him, by being so near but not as close as he might like... and we came to an understanding about that, that is no longer an issue. But... perhaps he was right, some time ago, when he asked me to leave..."

Flik bit his lip, thinking. "Why do you think that?"

Resting his chin in his hands, Gremio gazed out into the forest. "He said I deserved a better life than I would live if I was only to follow him. To be honest, I can't imagine a life without him - at least not a pleasant one. I depend upon him as much as he depends upon me..." He lowered his head slightly. "Perhaps I depend on him more..."

Flik exhaled slowly. "You sound so very much like me, Gremio, that it begins to frighten me. If you both depend on each other, though, what is truly the problem now? Especially after you seem to have worked out the issue of his mixed feelings towards you."

"I'm not... Never mind, there are more important issues than that one," he said quickly, glancing out through the trees. "...Something dangerous is coming. Not that it's a surprise, given the nature of this quest we've undertaken, but... the danger is very near."

"I feel something too..." Flik agreed. "So how could you think of leaving, if that was your request, at a time like this? Did you not bring friends to support you in this? Is it even the right path anymore?"

Gremio just shook his head. "I have little fear. I suspect I... I would have no trouble if left to my own devices. But Tir..."

"Tir is more than a capable fighter, Gremio."

"I know," Gremio said with a nod. "You remember, I watched him grow up, I watched him train... I know he's a talented fighter. But if he thinks me in danger, he might do something foolish..."

"And you wouldn't do the same? And Viktor and I wouldn't do that for each other?"

Gremio nodded again. "Precisely. And... just as he told me I should not be bound to him for the rest of my life, however long it might last... he does not deserve to have me taking up all his time and attention either."

Flik paused for a moment. "Why not?"

Gremio stood up again, pacing back and forth before answering. "Young Master has so much of life ahead of him... and he has a great capacity for believing in other people, for valuing each one as something special, as we saw during the wars. I am only a single man... I can't possibly give him the experiences he could have if he was on his own, if he did not instinctively come to me with everything he felt..."

Almost angry, Flik shook his head. "No matter what other people he finds, Gremio, don't you realize that none of them will be you? That each soul is individually unique, and that a relationship so powerful between two people is worth...so much... how could you just... throw that away?"

Ceasing in his pacing, Gremio looked down at Flik with an almost uncharacteristic hardness in his eyes. "There is a chance I am wrong, also," he began softly, "and the danger to me is as severe as anyone else. If that is the case, I shall not let him throw his life away, nor shall I allow him to be crushed if I should die. I want you and Viktor to take him far, far away - so he will not lose hope, even if we should never see each other in this world again."

Standing up, Flik glared at Gremio. "And you do not think he would die on the inside to have you taken away from him again? You do not think he would search for you forever if he even thought you were alive? In trying to be unselfish, you are in fact being very selfish."

"He forgave me for remaining behind in Soniere; he will forgive me again," Gremio reasoned. "Young Master has a kind heart."

"One that has already been broken once. I do not know if he could stand having it broken again."

Gremio faltered this time, the hard facade cracking as he sagged against a nearby tree. "He doesn't need me, Flik - he's already proven it, though he doesn't believe it himself. At the risk of sounding petty and childish... or even like a jealous lover... he doesn't speak to me as much as he used to. He has made other friends... he has a perfectly fine life outside me, and yet he clings to me..."

"He fears you do not need him," Flik said as he stepped closer to place a hand on Gremio's shoulder, "and that is why he pretends to draw away from you. I am certain he fears he has already done more damage to you than he should have... But is it wrong for two people to rely on each other?"

Gremio ducked his head, but continued to make the effort to remain steady. "When one is in a position such as I am now..." He shook his head again. "I want you to take him away. He'll find me someday, if I live, or I will find him... but if not, I can't bear the thought of him living without hope. Even if he never forgave me, at least he might not despair..."

"He will despair." Flik sighed deeply. "And I cannot grant you this request, even if I wanted to. Did you not begin this quest in order to be together? It seems ludicrous that it should have torn you apart instead. Perhaps Tir has never been the stubborn or foolish one, Gremio, and it was you all along."

Flik was taken aback as Gremio snapped his head up, glaring at him suddenly. "And what have I done that was not necessary? There are more reasons than I knew at first, and I can't abandon this course of action now..." He looked away, into the forest, appearing a bit anxious. "It's too late to turn back."

Flik glared back, almost shivering, though not from Gremio's gaze. "I would begin to think this thing already had you, your mind, in its clutches."

There was a moment's hesitation, then Gremio nodded faintly. "...I've begun to wonder myself," he admitted softly. "Sometimes I hear things... I get strange urges... my tastes seem to be changing, I've been putting more meat in the stew..."

More alarmed than he wanted to let on by this information, Flik couldn't help glancing around at the trees. "I know you are strong, Gremio, but I fear this...thing. I fear it possessing you, instead of you possessing it. Your bond with Tir is one of the strongest things I have ever known, and to think that something could sever that, could part you, other than life and death itself... I.. I fear."

At his words, Gremio looked alarmed as well. "Oh, no... no, Flik, not at all. This matter between Tir and myself has nothing to do with the Beast Rune itself." He put a hand over his face, helpless. "I'm a bit surprised that all of this didn't happen long ago..."

Flik frowned, his eyes still running over the trees behind them. "It's all connected somehow."

"Only as a catalyst," Gremio insisted, his voice firm. "I could tell you all the details of what passed between us, most of it at the inn. But it is Young Master's personal business, and I should not have gotten involved myself." He put a hand to his head, almost moaning. "Why could I have not simply kept my mouth shut?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Flik muttered, perplexed. "How could you not be involved if it was about you?"

"I could have continued to pretend that I saw nothing unusual..."

"I suppose..." Flik sighed. "But I don't know if that would have turned out any better. Gremio, if you could have any resolution to this that your heart desires, what would it be? For you, not for him. I know this is a difficult question to answer, but think about it."

Gremio sank down against the tree, his hand still covering his eyes and his voice shaky, but his answer came easily. "More than anything, I would like to go back to Gregminster with him. And there, I would like to find Pahn waiting for dinner, and Cleo scolding him, and..." He trembled slightly. "And Master Teo returning from the castle, a-and Ted trying to convince Tir to snitch a bit of food before I serve it..."

Flik closed his eyes as he listened, turning away from Gremio, but only to conceal how deeply the emotion resounded with his own wishes. "I... understand all too well."

"I can imagine..." Gremio brushed his eyes with one wrist, his voice still trembling. "It's no shame to want things to be the way they were before, but..." He sighed deeply. "They will not be. And if we can't ever have our home in Gregminster back the way it used to be, then all I can hope for is that we can find a new way to live, a new way to be comfortable."

"And you would really want this life to be without him?"

"No, no, never!" Gremio exclaimed fervently. "But I've resigned myself to living or dying - whichever happens to me, I am prepared. But Young Master is... is not. He wants me to be with him always, and my only chance... our only chance... is for me to face this."

Flik still did not turn back to him. "If he matters more to you than anything," he said softly, "if you can honestly feel you would live forever to make him happy, then... you must face it. Perhaps the only reason it hasn't surfaced again is because you haven't made up your mind."

Gremio lifted his head finally, looking up at Flik. "I've made up my mind... but Young Master is afraid for me."

With a nod, Flik turned to look back at him slightly. "Any friend would be."

"And do you think this is a mistake?" Gremio asked, sounding slightly exasperated.

"Honestly?"

Gremio nodded. "I'd expect nothing less than the truth from you."

Flik sighed. "I... I would do the same in your position. I'm not sure whether that makes it right or wrong in the universe, but..."

Gremio smiled slightly, but still regarded him with a bit of suspicion. "Then you see why I want you to take him away..."

"I do," Flik admitted, "but I also see why I shouldn't."

"Flik, please... on top of all the other arguments I have made..." Gremio paused, biting his lip and almost cringing. "I didn't want to have to resort to this..."

"What do you mean?" Flik asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You brought it up earlier," Gremio said, standing to look Flik in the eye, "and I've been thinking the same myself... the Beast Rune may have some influence over me." He paused again, and took hold of Flik's shoulders, almost desperately. "I don't want to hurt him, Flik - and I don't want him to have to hurt me, if something should happen."

Suddenly Flik understood, and he frowned at Gremio. "I... Gremio, I can't."

"You wouldn't have to do anything," Gremio insisted, meeting his gaze steadily, "except to take him away before the possibility even presents itself."

Flik shook his head. "You forget that I had something to tell you myself..."

Drawing back slightly, Gremio blinked, apparently shaking off his determination. "You're right, forgive me... What is it?"

"I feel terrible..." Flik sighed. "Maybe I shouldn't... "

Gremio squeezed his shoulders for a moment before letting go. "After I've burdened you with all of this? You're entitled to tell me anything you wish..."

"Ironically, I was about to ask you for nearly the same of which you've asked me."

Gremio regarded him curiously. "...Oh...?"

Flik closed his eyes before answering. "I have to leave too. I'm being slowly driven crazy by these nightmares of mine, and I... I have something I need to do. I need to do it alone, because I can't bear the thought of hurting anyone else, especially Viktor. And he will be angry with me when he realizes I'm gone."

"Nightmares...?" Gremio softened somewhat at the expression on his face. "What in the world...?"

"I..." Flik sighed, and did not yet open his eyes. "It's something I need to take care of, from the past... I'm not really sure I could talk about it. It's too long a story..."

Gremio peered at him, curious. "...I suppose I can understand that... Something you don't want Viktor to get involved in, I assume."

"I..." Flik paused, thinking about it and rubbing at one eye. "It's not that I don't trust him. Not that at all... I'm desperately afraid of his getting hurt by this, if not physically, than certainly emotionally."

Gremio couldn't suppress a small, cynical smile. "Then you should understand why I asked what I've asked of you."

Flik nodded slowly. "I understand all too well... but you don't think Viktor would fight me on this as much as Tir would fight you?"

"I'm sure he would. Which is why I understand your request as well..." Gremio's voice trailed off, but he collected himself. "...What would you have me do?"

Flik slammed one fist into his other open hand. "That's just it... I couldn't ask you to stop Viktor from following me, he would never listen. And even if you tried to lie to him, he would still know exactly where I was headed. I'm not sure there is a way out of this, really."

"I thought the same..." Gremio agreed with a sigh. "I would support you in this, but I am not sure what I could do."

"And you do realize that no matter what I said to Tir, the moment he finds out you've gone without him, he'll be tearing across those plains in pursuit."

Gremio nodded again, growing still and quiet, and his eyes took on a calculating look that very few had ever seen behind his usual warmth; one did not oversee a noble household without some shrewdness. "Perhaps we can make a deal... a compromise of sorts, with the both of them."

Almost but not quite surprised, Flik raised an eyebrow. "How do you mean...?"

"I can tell Viktor the same thing I told you," Gremio suggested, his gaze and his voice steady, "that I want Tir to be kept away - but also that I would appreciate his help. Though we've had our differences, and I'm rather sure he doesn't care for me much, I know that he's a worthy ally in a fierce battle, and that he has a good sense of what needs to be done."

Flik grimaced. "That much may be true, but the matter still stands of what you will tell Tir... I think he is far more stubborn than you may realize."

"That is the problem," Gremio agreed with a nod. "Perhaps I could say nothing, and Viktor and myself might leave while he sleeps." He lowered his head. "It would fall to you to explain, at that point, which would no doubt be difficult. He will be angry... though not truly at you."

"As I said, it wouldn't matter what I said," Flik stated. "He would not come with me - he would follow you. I have no doubt of that."

Gremio smiled a small, cold smile again. "Not if we got far enough away, and covered our tracks well. I've learned any number of tricks from the days in the army, and the days afterwards... I've talked to mercenaries and thieves, learning what you might call tricks of the trade, so that I could protect Young Master by whatever means became necessary. I know how to vanish with no trace, even if Viktor does not - which I doubt."

"You may be right," Flik admitted, "but... Gremio, could you sincerely break his heart like that?"

"For the sake of protecting him? For the sake of being with him always? ...Yes, I could."

Flik was silent for a moment, thinking. "We really are in similar predicaments, Gremio," he said finally, "moreso than you realize. If I were to agree to this, to letting the two of you leave while Tir is asleep, may he forgive us both... how do you suggest we go about convincing Viktor? If I could ask a favor of you now..." He paused, pondering. "If we played it off as leaving me to look after Tir, then he might go with you..."

Gremio nodded. "...But Flik, if we succeed... or even if only he returns alive, he will look for you. And if I survive, I... I want to find him again. Once I have done this on my own, for my own reasons."

"I cannot force Tir to accompany me to Warrior's Village," Flik muttered. "I can only hope that he will. I have no doubt that Viktor will search me out after your quest is complete, but I fear how angry he will be with me..."

"Is he less forgiving than my Young Master?" Gremio asked earnestly. "Would he truly not understand why you would do this?" He hesitated, and laughed softly. "I fear, in fact, that he would be more angry with me for contributing to your ruse..."

Flik laughed softly as well. "I... I want nothing more than for all four of us to return home, safe, and at peace..."

Taking one of Flik's hands between his own, Gremio squeezed it gently. "I told you what I wished for earlier... since it cannot happen, your wish is the closest to my ideal that remains possible. I would... I'd like to believe we can do it," he finished with a sigh. "Even if it means unpleasantness for the moment... I believe that Young Master and I, as well as Viktor and yourself, can overcome this."

Flik reached with his free hand to enclose Gremio's hand as well, standing there in silence with hands clasped. "I think it would be best if you told Viktor of your plans," he suggested. "I think he might see through me if I tried to. Tonight, then, when we are sure Tir is asleep...?"

"I-I will," Gremio promised with a nod, though his voice trembled. "But... he will want to say goodbye, I'm sure..."

"I am sure I can pull that much off..."

Another nod, but Gremio blushed slightly. "Ah... and I can take Tir aside, for a bit, if the two of you would like some privacy. I can imagine that you might want to... take advantage of the last few hours before you part, for who knows how long... I know I would, though not for the same reasons."

Flik colored as well, finally letting go of Gremio's hands. "I, ah... I wasn't thinking along those lines, but I do suppose you are right... Shall we head back to camp then? It's nearly dark already, and I'm sure Viktor's chopped us more than enough wood at this point," he added dryly.

With a nod, Gremio turned back towards their camp. "I imagine so. If I might ask one more thing, Flik...?"

"Of course...."

Gremio sighed. "I-if I survive... I want to see Tir again as soon as possible, to apologize, and to reassure him. And even if I survive the Beast Rune, I might not survive Viktor if he suspects I know more about this than I've told him," he observed. "Also... you will have done me a great favor, Flik, and I would like to assist you in whatever way I can."

"Well, I can't guarantee that Tir will want to go with me," Flik pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "What is it you want to ask of me...?"

"I assume Tir will go south, as you would..." Gremio reasoned with a smile. "But anyhow, I would like to join you again at least for the journey, if my business is over with quickly, and we manage to catch up. I don't believe you would be able to lose Viktor once his mind is set on something anyhow."

Flik blinked. "You want me to take all three of you along to Warrior's Village?"

Shaking his head, Gremio laughed quietly. "Perhaps not all the way, unless you change your mind about Viktor being involved. I wouldn't object to assisting you if that were the case, but at the least, perhaps Tir and I could help to handle Viktor when the time came."

"I don't even need to ask if that's true," Flik said after a moment's hesitation, staring at Gremio in surprise, "because I know you wouldn't have said it if it wasn't... and I appreciate it, but I think for now we will simply need to see what happens once we do split up."

Gremio nodded. "I simply thought I would ask if you would actively object to our following, since no doubt Viktor will try no matter what I tell him - and it might be easier on all of us if I cooperated somewhat. Though I may be able to slow him down."

"I would not object," Flik said finally, "but I still caution you that I do not have great confidence that Tir will go with me."

"You may be right," Gremio sighed, "but if he runs from everyone he knows, I imagine that he will hide himself somewhere none of us would expect." He looked at Flik, pleading. "Please, tell him this is only for the moment... he told me I should live for myself, and in a way... by doing this alone and then returning, I will be doing something for myself, just this once. But I will find him again."

Flik sighed as well. "At the very least, I will try to find out where he is going if he leaves me, but I make no promises."

Gremio nodded, and impulsively leaned in to hug Flik gently. "Whatever matter is troubling you so, I wish you luck in resolving, whether I can help or not. I owe you a great debt."

Though surprised for a moment, Flik soon hugged Gremio back tightly. "A bit of parting advice... come back alive."

"I've no intention of giving in without a fight," Gremio agreed with a smile and a nod. "Young Master may not need me as he used to, but I will not let go of him so easily."

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Gremio had put more meat in the stew than usual - he said it was to celebrate the nearness of the end of their quest, despite what he'd suggested to Flik earlier - and after dinner, Flik volunteered for the first watch. With a hint of a sly smile, he suggested that Viktor might want to scout the area with him before turning in, and Viktor agreed eagerly. It was just as they'd planned.

Snow was beginning to fall, though not where Gremio had set up Tir's bedroll for the night, at the foot of a large evergreen. His Young Master was already lying down beneath the blankets, watching the snowflakes fall and gather outside the reach of the tree's branches, when Gremio finished cleaning up.

Gremio wondered if he'd ever get to cook Tir his stew again, or clean these old pots that he'd picked up for their travels. He might have already done many things for the last time. But there were a few left to go...

Tir's eyes followed Gremio as he ducked beneath the evergreen, and he began to sit up sleepily. "Gremio...?"

Gremio shook his head, resting a hand on Tir's shoulder and urging him to lie back. "Rest... we may be near the end of the journey, but the most difficult part is yet to come. You need your sleep."

With a nod and a yawn, Tir settled back down, and Gremio drew the blankets up around his face. He paused then, just gazing at him. As much as he tried to insist otherwise, sometimes it was very hard not to see Tir as the little boy he'd brought up, that he'd do anything for. In this case, it helped.

"...All the things I said in that letter," Gremio whispered softly, brushing Tir's bangs back from his eyes, "I believe I've said everything I ever needed to say to you."

Tir shook his head drowsily. "We'll never run out of things to say..."

"Oh, of course not," Gremio agreed. "Though eternity is a long time, there is no one else whose conversational skills I hold in such high regard." This earned him a smile, and he smiled back. "But the things I needed to say, those have been said. I'm glad..."

There wasn't much left to say, since they'd already been said, but there were things he wanted to do again. The most important was what he did now - reaching for his own blankets, he unrolled them beside Tir's, overlapping, and lay next to him, reaching out to hold him as when he was younger. Tir did not object, but snuggled into his arms comfortably.

"...You believe me when I say I love you, don't you, Young Master?" Gremio asked, so quietly that he wasn't even sure he could be heard. "No matter what unfortunate things we've done to hurt each other in the past... or what we may do in the future...?"

Tir nodded against his chest, and Gremio sighed gratefully. "Good... because I do, and I always will."

To him, Tir curled up in his arms like a child was worth at least as much as any promise.