Title: Jerry Lee Lewis isn't good enough.

I woke up the next morning at 11.30, with my first hang over and what a great feeling it was. As I got up I felt an uprising rush to my mouth and I quickly ran over to my toilet, vomiting.

'Don't feel to good party animal?' asked Rory coming in and handing me an Advil and coffee.

'No, not really,' I said swallowing the Advil, 'I feel horrible.'

'Can you remember anything from last night?' asked Rory patting my head.

'Yeah most of it,' I said thinking back and remembering most of the night, 'Mum I need like 10 more hours of sleep, do you think you could give me at least 5?'

She nodded her head and I climbed back in to my bed, Rory looked down at me, and whispered just loud enough for me to hear, 'baby don't hurt your self.'

'I love you mum,' I said moving over hoping that she climb into my bed and cuddle me, just like she does with Emma. I felt her slide in bed with me and put an arm around me.

Rory and I woke up 2 hours later at 1.30, partly because Emma had started jumping on us, and because we had barely any coffee in our system.

'To Luke's,' yelled Rory as we walked down the stairs.

'Shh, some people have a bit of a headache,' I said as we headed out the door, leaving Pat to his own devices.

'Your fault missy,' Rory said as we drove off to Luke's. I sat in silence, listening to Emma talk to Rory about how Robbie, her little play school friend got a new Barbie doll.

'Luke can I please have three big huge cups of coffee?' I asked as we entered the diner.

'Here,' he said placing two big cups in front of me, one for mum. 'Munchkin!' he yelled giving Emma a hug.

'Lukey!' she said kissing his cheek and taking off his cap and putting it on her head.

'Hey Lorelai,' I said turning my attention away from Emma and towards my grandmother.

'You look like crap,' she said smiling, just as my phone vibrated. A message, it was from Michael from last night, 'hey babe its michael how u feelin? I had a good time last nite'.

'You look good to Lorelai,' I said gulping down my coffee, writing a text back to Michael, 'hey Michael massive headache just like any normal Sunday morning, I had a good time as well, luv Ellie'.

'What did you get up to last night?' she asked winking.

'Not much.'

'That you can remember,' she said laughing at her own joke.

'Funny James Dean,' I said smiling.

'Yay, I'm James Dean, Rory!' she said excitedly.

'Who am I?' asked Rory just as excited.

'Jerry Lee Lewis,' I said rolling my eyes.

'Her names longer than mine, not fair,' said Lorelai pouting.

'Fine then, your Baby Spice,' I said fixing the problem.

'How come she gets to be Baby Spice?' asked Rory upset.

'What Jerry Lee Lewis isn't good enough?' Rory shook her head, 'Fine then your Posh Spice,' I said sighing hoping that I'd finally fixed the problem.

'Yay,' said Lorelai and Rory excitedly, turning to each other and bursting out in Tell Me What You Want.

'I have the best idea ever!' said Lorelai as we were sitting and eating our lunch.

'What?' Rory and I asked at the same time.

'Movie night! We haven't had one in so long. It can be just us girls. Pat can shove off to our place –'

'Or some girls place.'

'And us 4 girls can have a movie night,' said Lorelai excitedly.

'With Willy Wonker?' I asked. I had inherited Rory's love for the oompa loopma's. 'And spice world?'

'It's not a movie night with out it,' said Rory smiling brightly.

I noticed that Rory hadn't been happy, truly happy in some months now, perhaps because she lost her man in shining armour.

I mean I haven't been happy either, but Rory, I hate seeing her like this. I hate seeing her looking so sad, because I knew that for 14 years she was the happiest person on this earth. Now she was one of the loneliest people on the earth.

'I think I'm going to walk home,' I said getting up, waiting for their acceptance.

'I'll see you at home babe, anything you want in the junk food department?' asked Rory.

'Just as much food as you can fit into that jeep of ours,' I said smiling.

As I walked home, all I could think about was dad and mum and about our family, and the way it use to be. Dad died of a brain tumour on June 29th last year. I miss him, I hated him for leaving us all alone, but I hated him even more for not being here seeing Emma grow up into a wonderful girl, but I love him for being my father.

I've only just come to terms with his death in the last couple of months. I was confused and scared that I might find someone to replace him and I'd forget everything about him. Then I realised that, that wasn't possible. I could never forget anything about him; he has such a presence in my life. Every were I go, he's there, not in spirit, but just everything reminds me of him. I remember his smell and aura.

'Hello?' I said as I entered the house, 'any whores here?'

'None at the moment, come back in five minutes and there should be a house full,' joked Pat.

'Hey,' I said flopping on his bed.

'Hey, how you feeling?' he asked turning down his music.

'Not to bad,' I said smiling. 'How was last night?'

'Not to bad,' he said laughing. 'What about you? I remember walking in on you making out with some poor sophomore.'

I looked at him horrified but cracked up at the look on his face.

'What?' he asked confused.

'Nothing,' I said trying to keep my laughter under control. 'It's just that you were in big brother mode and you haven't been in that mode for such a long time, it kinda made me laugh.'

'Who is he?' he asked sternly.

'Just a guy from school,' I said getting up.

'There the worse sort,' yelled Pat as I exited his room and left for mine.

I walked into my room and turned on my radio, turning it up loud enough to block out Pat's music.

When you feel all alone

And the world has turned its back on you

Give me a moment please to tame your wild, wild heart

I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you

It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold

When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call

If you jump I'll break your fall

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

If you need to fall apart

I can mend a broken heart

If you need to crash then crash and burn

You're not alone

When you feel all alone

And a loyal friend is hard to find

You're caught in a one way street

With the monsters in your head

When hopes and dreams are far away and

You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call

If you jump I'll break your fall

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

If you need to fall apart

I can mend a broken heart

If you need to crash then crash and burn

You're not alone

And there has always been heartache and pain

And when it's over you'll breathe again

You'll breath again

When you feel all alone

And the world has turned its back on you

Give me a moment please

To tame your wild, wild heart

Let me be the one you call

If you jump I'll break your fall

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

If you need to fall apart

I can mend a broken heart

If you need to crash then crash and burn

You're not alone

A tear slid down my cheek. I walked down to Pat's room he was sitting on his bed reading.

'Ella, what's wrong?' he asked giving me a hug.

'Nothing I just need a hug,' I said hugging him back. 'It's so stupid, I just heard a song, I don't even know why but it made me so sad.'

'Don't worry,' he said placing his chin on top of my head. 'I get like that to. It'll go away.'

'I don't want to stop hurting. Or else I might forget him.'

'You won't ever forget him,' said Pat hugging me tighter.

'How come it's been a year and I still miss him?' I asked referring to the death of our dad.

'Because he's our dad,' Pat said stroking my back.

I hate Pat, I hate how he looks exactly like dad, I hate how he acts just like dad, and I hate how everything he does reminds me of dad. I hate how I don't hate Pat, I hate that I love Pat so much that I can't hate him, not even when we fight. But most of all I hate how Pat smells just like dad, and one day I hate that I might lost him, just like I lost dad.