GUILTY

~ I Can't Forgive Myself ~

Moshi Moshi Everybody!! XD

I finally managed to translate this story... I know, I'm kinda slow *drop*

Yeah, the story's kinda old, I wrote it after I saw the episode where Ernest died. Gods, that really did depress me... T.T

I've tried to put myself in Gareas' place to figure out what he may felt after Ernest's "funeral". The original is written in German and I did my best to translate it. There sure are mistakes in it, and if you find any, tell me so I can learn^^.

Gareas POV.

Oh yeah... the disclaimer (almost forgot^^): Nothing belongs to me, but to Sugisaki Yukiro. No money-making, too. Too bad. If I had owed anything, Ernest wouldn't have died, and Garu wouldn't be blaming himself... *sigh*

Enough of my stupid babbling.^^ On with the show!

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Guilty

And once again, I can't find any sleep. On the radio – what else – is a love song on play, and I skip the channel.

I just can't bear such things anymore.

Even more love songs, no matter which channel I choose. It seems like the whole world is plotting against me.

Everything is so different without you.

Sure, everybody is kind, everybody is sympathetic. But what does it matter? You won't come back. Never again, no matter what I do, how many tears I cry in the night, when I'm alone, you stay dead.

Tune is crying much too, you can see it in her eyes. Everybody knows that she loved you, and I think you knew it too. She says she couldn't reproach me, nobody could. Nobody says something reproaching to me. Actually, nobody talks about it anymore, as if it had never happened. Life goes on, somehow. A new pilot for Luhma Klein, new fights against new Victims. But... I still have the feeling as if you were still alive. Sometimes, after a fight, I still think you would get out of the Goddess. And everytime I am disappointed, everytime my heart breaks again.

It's as if time had stopped in my heart when Tune had said nobody could help you. And every day without you, a piece of me shatters until someday, nothing is left to shatter. Until I will have died inside.

The reproaches I make me are tearing me up inside. Of course there aren't any reproaches of the others, but I know that I am to blame for your death. And even if everyone would forgive me, I can't forgive myself.

I am an idiot, I know. Because of my rashness you were put into danger. And I have never noticed how much you really meant to me, until the end. Now you're gone, because of me, and I am breaking.

I blew my chance. I won't ever see you again, never hear your voice again. I can't annoy you ever again just for the fun of it.

But I hope I'll see you again someday. And that I can tell you everything when this time comes.

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Done.^^

So, what do you think about it?

Please write me a little review!

... You can even flame me if you think it's necessary... But I would be more pleased if you'd give me some reasonalbe advice...

Cassiel