Chapter Five
Cortez Party
February 26th 2003
"Are you sure this'll work?" Nina asked, as she shifted uncomfortably in her driver's seat. The dress she was wearing had seemed like a good choice for the party- an attractive ankle-length red one with no sleeves- but it was starting to get a little uncomfortable, and her eye was itching from the Doctor's eye camera. She was longing to rub it, but the Doctor had told her not to, on the grounds that it might send the lens right round to the other side of her eye.
"Honestly? No, I'm not sure at all," the Doctor said, as he pulled his mask out of his pocket and looked at it. He was wearing a tuxedo that he claimed to have worn to the final showing of a film in 1947, but he didn't look all that comfortable in it, from what Nina could see in the rear-view mirror. "But we don't have any better options, and I have to know who this 'Stranger', or 'Dictator', or whatever he's calling himself now, really is."
"I'm not sure I can pull this off," the Brigadier commented, shifting uncomfortably in the front passenger seat. He looked even worse in his tuxedo than the Doctor, but at least it looked slightly better with his mask on. "Doctor, you know I rarely did stealth even when I was in active service. That was more Mike Yate's job, not mine."
"Look, it's perfectly simple," the Doctor said. "You just keep the mask and the distorter on all the time, and it should work perfectly. Besides, you've got your baton in your pocket should things get too out of control and we need to fight anybody, and I have my sonic screwdriver as well."
"That had better be right," the Brigadier commented, as he looked at the small plastic strip the Doctor had given him before they left the house. "I'm not comfortable with entrusting my vocal chords to a piece of futuristic technology."
"It's fine, Brigadier," the Doctor smiled, as he pulled out his own strip and slipped it and the mask on. "So, how do I look?" he said. Nina noted with some surprise that was actually rather effective- his accent actually sounded a little Japanese instead of his customary Scots burr.
The mask was also very effective, Nina noted- the forehead was higher than the Doctor's was, almost egg-shaped, which was entered even more noticeable by the fact that the fringe had been slightly shaved. The nose also looked a little bent, like it had been broken by a strong punch at least three times, maybe four, and it stuck up a little as well. The mask also covered the eyes, and were now blue instead of the Doctor's normal piercing grey. The chin was also slightly pointed, and he'd added a touch more hair to the eyebrows.
"Well, here I go," the Brigadier sighed, as he pulled the mask on over his head as he stuck the plastic strip over his throat. The effect on him, too, was very striking- the hair was slightly longer than the genuine Boggart's hair had been, and the Doctor had added a moustache and a small goatee to the mask as well. The head had also been made more skin-tight than it had been before, so that it was almost the same shape as the Brigadier's, except for the fact that it was a little rounder around the cheeks. The nose, too, was a bit larger, and the eyes were a combination colour of brown and green. "Does it look real?" he asked. That, too, sounded different- it was a lot deeper and rougher than the Brigadier's normal voice, and had a small trace of an Irish accent in it.
"Now, remember," the Doctor said, as the hall began to come into view over the horizon, "from this point on, I'm Professor Ian Jackson, a physicist, and the Brigadier is James Edwards, a writer trying to get an inside look at army life for his latest book."
"Check," Nina replied, as she stopped just outside the hall. "Here goes nothing..." she thought to herself as she looked at the hall. It was made of large grey bricks, and you couldn't deny that it was big- at least three stories high, the hall had an entranceway so large several people could possibly have fit inside it at once. It had a large clock at the top of a very tall tower on the front as well, and reminded Nina, with its high walls and imposing structure, of the old UNIT file photos of Strangmoor Prison.
A young footman wearing a blue and gold uniform appeared at the side of the car, opening the Brigadier and the Doctor's doors, before going round to the other side of the car to open Nina's. "Good evening, sirs, ma'am," he said, as the three of them stepped out of the car. "May I see your invitation?"
"Right here," Nina said, passing it to the footman.
The footman looked at it, his eyes taking the whole thing in after only a few seconds. "That seems to be in order for you, Miss Spencer," he said, passing the ticket back to her. "May I inquire as to the identity of your friends?"
"Oh, of course," Nina smiled, as she indicated the Doctor. "This is Professor Ian Jackson- I met him at a science conference, brilliant physicist," she said to the man, before indicating the Brigadier, "and this is Mr James Edwards- he's working on an army novel, and I bought him along so he could get a look at what we do in our free time."
"Very well," the footman said, indicating the door. No sooner had the Doctor, the Brigadier and Nina stepped inside the entrance hall, then they caught the sound of music from further inside.
I feel so alive
Make it last forever
Every day is fine
Whenever we're together
I'm so alive
Loving every minute
Underneath the sky
There's a heaven for you and I
"Isn't that S Club?" the Doctor commented, as they headed up the steps towards the main door.
"You know them?" the Brigadier asked. "I though you generally favoured classical music? No wait, this version likes jazz, correct?"
"Yes to both of them, but Susan and I spent a few months on Earth in this era, but decided we felt like visiting the sixties for a while," the Doctor explained. "Still I suppose I just picked up a bit of a fondness for it in my time. Ah, here's the hall," he added suddenly, as they entered the door.
"Wow," Nina commented, as she stared around the hall.
It certainly looked as impressive on the inside as it did on the outside, Nina was prepared to admit- the roof was incredibly high up, stretching through all three floors of the building judging by the balconies to the sides of it, and the top of it was covered with so many rafters you could barely see the plaster. The walls beneath the balconies were covered with wooden panels, reminding Nina a little of the TARDIS's console room, baring the noteworthy absence of the console. At one end of the hall was a large stage with what seemed to be a large radio on it, baring the fact that it was a great deal bigger and most of the controls appeared to be on the back. There was a door, presumably leading to the stage itself, on the right side of the stage. The rest of the hall was covered with tables near the walls, while the central floor was filled with people dancing. Nina also noticed a bar in the right wall, with several of the couples that weren't dancing drinking there.
As soon as I blink
You're playing around
It's makin' me think that
You're not the man 'cos
You're dissin' me, dissin' me
Blink, you're playing around
I think you're going down
All I gotta do is blink
"Rosie Ribbons' Blink?" the Brigadier commented. "Am I imagining it, or hasn't that one been out for a while?"
"It's not your imagination," the Doctor replied, as he sat down in a nearby seat, Nina and the Brigadier taking seats beside him. "I made a point of learning the eras of some popular singers just in case it ever came in useful, and Miss Ribbons had that song out ages ago."
"Couldn't it just be CDs?" Nina pointed out.
"This out of date?" the Doctor commented. "Susan visited a couple of discos while we were in this era, and it's practically a rule that they have music that's recently out playing."
"Is there a problem?" another voice said. Looking around, the three of them saw another footman standing behind them, rather like the one they'd met outside, but older, and with more stubble on his chin.
"Problem? No, not really. More a little puzzle," the Doctor replied, smiling at the man in a friendly way. "Why are you playing music that came out a few months ago? As I recall, parties like this are very up-to-date where music is concerned."
"The budget," the footman replied simply. "We were unable to get some of the latest CD's for this- we have little spare money in this job, and the cost of hiring the hall alone was a severe drain on our spare cash. Our commander, General Harper, had to supply all the CDs himself from his children's collection."
"His children's?" Nina commented. "Man, you guys really don't have a lot of cash to throw around."
"No, we don't. We just try to do our best with what we have," the footman said, as he walked away.
"Odd," Nina commented. "From what I read in the files, Harper didn't strike me as much of a father character."
"Hmm..." the Brigadier commented, as he looked over at the Doctor. "Could he be the Dictator, Doctor?"
"Mmm? Harper? Oh, yes, yes, maybe..." the Doctor replied idly, as he glanced over at the bar. "Excuse me for a moment, will you? I need to get a drink."
In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
Was there that I realised
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
"Mandy Moore, Cry..." the Doctor said, half to himself as he headed over to the bar. "A ginger beer, please," he said to the barman, passing him a two pound coin. While he waited, he hummed to himself a little. This had been an old favourite of his in a past incarnation, so he could easily remember how to sing it.
"'It was late in September, And I'd seen you before... You were always the good one, But I was never that sure... You were all by yourself, staring up out a dark grey sky... I was changed...'"
"Not bad," Nina said, as she suddenly appeared in the seat beside the Doctor. "Cranberry and apple, please," she told the barman, as he came back with the Doctor's drink.
"Certainly, ma'am," the barman replied, as he put the ginger beer down and then turned away.
"Where's the Brigadier?" the Doctor asked Nina out of the corner of his mouth.
"Asking around," Nina replied in the same way. "He's using his cover to pretend to ask about army life, trying to find out about any chinks in the Project's routine, like you requested."
"Perfect," the Doctor smiled, as he took a quick swig of his ginger beer. "If he doesn't notice something fishy, I'll head off to Gallifrey and ask my cousin Innocet out for a ride in the TARDIS."
"That unlikely to happen?" Nina asked.
"She and I didn't really part on good terms," the Doctor replied.
"Oh," Nina said simply. Privately, she wondered what those terms had been, but the Doctor seemed unwilling to elaborate, so she didn't bother. He wasn't the kind to be forced into doing anything he didn't want to, she knew.
I'm gonna getcha while I got you in sight
I'm gonna getcha if it takes all night
You can betcha by the time I say go
You'll never say no.
I'm gonna getcha it's a matter of fight
I'm gonna getcha don't you worry 'bout that
You can bet your bottom dollar in time
You're gonna be mine
Just like I should
I'll getcha good
"How do some people come up with songs like that?" the Brigadier asked, as he joined the Doctor and Nina at the Brigadier.
"Shania Twain not your cup of tea?" Nina asked as she took a sip of her drink. "Well, she's all right, but mainly if you like that sort of thing."
"Yes, quite," the Doctor commented as he put his ginger beer back down on the table. "Still, we didn't come here to discuss music. Anything odd about the Cortez Project's set-up, Brigadier?"
"Nothing major," the Brigadier replied, as he beckoned the barman over. "One Guinness, please," he said, before turning back to the others. "They do have a policy of shoot to kill whatever the adversary is unless their superiors order otherwise, but apart from that there's nothing that I haven't seen before here."
"Drat," the Doctor said to himself. "That makes finding what's going on here even more difficult."
"We'll work something out," Nina smiled. "Maybe somebody will make a mistake and say something incriminating at the meeting."
"Somehow, I doubt it," the Doctor said. "Still, it never hurt to hope, I suppose."
Nobody told me you'd feel so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light, you're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colour blind
"Ah, Darius," the Doctor smiled to himself. "I've never been able to place exactly what I find so appealing about it, but there is a certain something."
"'A certain something'?" the Brigadier said, smiling at his old friend. "I never thought I'd ever hear you saying something like that, Doctor."
"Well, several other people seem to like it," the Doctor commented, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at the hall dance floor.
It was certainly getting crowded, the Brigadier noted privately as he looked at it. Several more people appeared to have decided to dance since the time he'd been going around asking questions, and the floor was filled with all kinds of dancing people. Some were simply slowly waltzing in each other's arms, even though Colour Blind, in the Brigadier's opinion, didn't seem like that kind of song. Others were doing what seemed more appropriate for this music- dancing facing each other without actually holding onto them. Looking around at them, the Brigadier which of them were involved in the Project. And of those who were, how many of them knew the full truth of the organization they served?
"It's never easy, is it?" Nina said, breaking into the Brigadier's train of thought. "Pardon?" he asked, looking around back at her.
"Knowing who's really the bad guys and who's just making a mistake," Nina said. "I noticed you examining those guys with a quizzical look in your eyes."
"Oh. Yes, that's just what I was thinking," the Brigadier sighed, as he looked around again.
In the headlights on the road tonight
Ain't nobody here to make it right
But we couldn't seem to find a way For love to stay
If you had another night to give
I would have another night to live
But you're never going to see me cry
The last goodbye
"Atomic Kitten?" the Doctor said, half to himself, as he sipped a little at his ginger beer. "Haven't heard them in a while."
"Another favourite?" the Brigadier asked.
"Well, I once took Susan to a concert of theirs, although I didn't really pay much attention. I think I was having one of my bad decades at the time."
"Really?" Nina said, as she took a quick sip or her cranberry and apple. "Would that decade have been during the version of you that I knew first, or was it an earlier one than that?"
"Earlier."
"Ah."
Just then, another group of people arrived at the bar. It wasn't a large group- four men and three women- but they seemed to have been doing more drinking then dancing. "Hhheeeyyy!!!" one man said slumping down on the bar and waving a bottle in the Brigadier's face. "Where's the party? Hey, I gotta bottle! Wheresa party?"
"How much have these people been drinking, would you estimate, Doctor?" the Brigadier asked, turning to his friend.
"Well, at least six bottles," the Doctor replied, glaring at the group. "You know, it's people like them that make me wonder why I like this planet so much."
"Well, sorry for not being as good as the Time Lords," Nina said, as she waved one man away from her and took another sip of her drink.
The Doctor smiled, as he took another sip of his drink. "Maybe that's it."
Ignoring the three of them, the man raised one shaking hand and called the barman over.
"Absinthe, barman!" the man yelled, waving his hand up high. "Five glasses, and fasasasasasast!"
"I stand corrected," the Doctor commented to Nina. "If they're drinking absinthe, they've only had two bottles."
"Pathetic, really," Nina said, sipping from her drink again. Looking at the men over the top of her glass, she noticed that one of the men in the group was checking her out, as if considering asking her for a dance. Nina gave him a hard stare that she'd perfected some while ago, that gave the very clear impression that she wasn't interested, and the man backed down.
Oh, life goes on
And it's only going to make me strong
That's a fact
Won't you get up boy, say you're sad and you can't go back
Oh, it's a fight
And I really want to get it right
Where I'm at
It's my life before me
And I've this felling that I can't go back
"Leann Rimes," the Doctor smiled to himself, as he swallowed another pint of ginger beer. Then, he put his bottle down, and his face took on a very serious expression. "Out for far too long."
"What?" the Brigadier asked. He was trying to follow the Doctor, but he'd drunk quite a bit of alcohol already, and was feeling a little confused.
"Too many of these songs have been out for too long," the Doctor explained, as his eyes began to flick around the room. "You'd expect more recent music, even in a child's collection." The Brigadier noticed, with some surprise, that the Doctor appeared to be looking mainly at the young women at the party- he'd never known his friend going in for that kind of thing. "If I'm going to get the truth, I need to test a theory of mine."
"Which is?" Nina asked.
"This," the Doctor smiled, as he leapt out of his seat and headed towards one of the women he been looking at. She had blonde, shoulder-length hair, was wearing a sparkling blue dress that came down to around her knees, and was standing in one corner with a group of various other women.
"Thanks, I'd love to!" the Doctor smiled, as he grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the others.
"Love to what?" she asked him, a little confused.
"Dance, of course!" the Doctor smiled, as he began to dance. Bemused, but apparently enjoying herself, the girl began to follow his moves.
From their seat at the bar, the Brigadier and Nina watched their friend as he began to dance away.
"I think she likes the mask more than anything else," the Brigadier said.
"Pardon?" Nina asked, looking over at him.
"She doesn't know him at all, yet she hasn't shoved him away yet," the Brigadier replied simply.
"Point, I suppose," Nina commented, as she took another sip of her drink. "You know, I doubt I'll ever really understand this guy."
"Don't worry about it," the Brigadier smiled. "I sometimes feel I know him better than anyone else, and I still don't understand him."
The Brigadier beckoned the barman over. "Another Guinness, please," he said, raising his glass.
"Very good, sir," the man replied, as he took the glass and left.
What's the Doctor doing over there, anyway? Nina thought, as the Doctor and his partner suddenly reached the stage. Why did he start dancing?
Just as she was wondering that, the Doctor suddenly broke away from his partner and started to say something to her. To the Brigadier's surprise, she then slapped the Doctor in the face, and walked back to her friends. The Doctor simply looked back at the bar, waved at Nina and the Brigadier, and then headed back to them.
"Well, that got her out of the way," the Doctor smiled, as he sat back down in his seat.
"What did?" Nina asked.
"Well, I didn't want her hanging around after I'd found out what I needed to know," the Doctor explained. "So, I simply made a deliberately insulting comment, and she left me."
"Oh," Nina said, glancing over at the woman. She certainly didn't look very happy, and she hoped that, whatever the Doctor had said, it hadn't been too bad. "Whatever you said, could you have come up with something gentler?"
"Maybe," the Doctor replied. Scratching his throat a little, he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Sorry, the distorter's getting a little sore. Anyway, I didn't really have the time to come up with something gentler, and I was a little shaken as well. I've just discovered something else."
"What?" the Brigadier asked, looking over from his third pint of Guinness. He seemed to be swaying a little, but looked relatively clear on what was going on.
"The Dictator is involved," the Doctor said. Pulling out his sonic screwdriver, he began to spin it round and round in his hands, as he stared up to the roof. "And whoever he is, he regards Time itself as nothing more than one of his tools."
"That's not good," Nina said. "I mean, I don't have your knowledge of time and that, but I'm fairly sure you don't treat Time like that."
"How did you work that out, Doctor?" the Brigadier asked.
"With this," the Doctor said, holding his sonic screwdriver out. "While I was dancing, I used this to take a quick scan of the music box by slipping this behind her back. I detected faint readings of temporal energy."
"Meaning?" Nina asked. She knew what temporal energy was, of course, but she didn't follow what it being near to the radio had to do with anything.
"The Dictator, whoever he is, has developed a very unique kind of radio," the Doctor explained. "It reaches back into the past, pulls out various radio waves, and then transfers them to the speakers. He didn't reach into the present because the Time lords could detect that, but if it's in the past, they could get the point of origin of the signal wrong."
"Wow," Nina said. "Well, you can't say he isn't smart."
"Actually, you could," the Doctor said. "Time Lords could generally make something like that very easily. So, by Time Lord standards, he may not be the sharpest tool in the shed."
"Well, I suppose that's something," Nina groaned. Just then, Nina felt a brief, but firm, tap on her shoulder. Turning round, she saw the older footman standing behind her.
"Excuse me, Miss Spencer, but your meeting awaits," he said simply.
"Oh, right. Sorry, almost forgot about that," Nina said, as she got out of her seat. "Ian, James, be back soon, OK?"
"Check, Nina. Don't take too long!" the Doctor smiled, as he slipped one hand into his pocket.
*****
As Nina walked away, he pulled out the receiver and gently shoved the Brigadier on the shoulder.
"Uh? What is it, Doctor?" the Brigadier asked, raising his head off the table.
"You really should cut back on the drinks, Brigadier," the Doctor smiled at his friend. "Anyway, as I was about to say, Nina's going off to the Cortez Project meeting right now. We should soon be finding out exactly who's behind this whole affair."
The Brigadier leaned over and looked at the receiver's screen. It was currently showing nothing other than blackness. "Not much on, is there?"
"Well, of course not," the Doctor sighed. "I haven't even turned it on yet. Now, let's see what we have here..." he said, as he leaned over the receiver and began to work away at some of the controls.
All that you see is me
Although I truly believe
That I was born to try
I'll learn to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've gotta make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've gotta sacrifice
The things you like
But I was born to try
"Ah, Delta Goodrem," the Brigadier commented, as he moved one seat up so that he could see the receiver better.
"You know of her?" the Doctor asked, as he fiddled a little with some dials at the side of the receiver.
"Only a little," the Brigadier commented. "Doris is always watching those soap operas- you know, Neighbours, Eastenders, that sort of thing."
"Oh, yes, that's right. She's Nina Tucker, isn't she?" the Doctor asked, looking up from the receiver.
"Correct. Doctor, not meaning to be rude, but shouldn't you be focusing on this right now?" the Brigadier commented, tapping the receiver.
"Ah, yes," the Doctor said, looking back down. There was a picture coming up now, albeit not a very clear one. From what the Brigadier could make out, it showed the footman they'd seen earlier, apparently seen through somebody else's eyes.
"From Miss Spencer's point of view, correct?" the Brigadier asked the Doctor.
"Exactly, Brigadier," the Doctor smiled. "I'll make a scientist of you yet."
"I don't think I'll ever get that far, Doctor," the Brigadier replied, as he watched the screen. Now the footman was walking towards a nearby shed, tucked away in the corner of the garden outside the hall. He opened the door, and after a brief pause, Nina entered the shed.
"Too bad there isn't any sound," the Brigadier commented.
"Well, I could only wire this receiver up to her visual nerves, Brigadier," the Doctor sighed. "I just didn't have the time to set up a full sensory receiver in two days. We'll just have to make do."
Now Nina was heading down some steep steps inside the shed, and there was a door in front of her. Raising her eyes to the ceiling, as though in a prayer, she opened the door.
"Oh dear," the Doctor said simply, as the sight behind the door became more obvious. It was a large room, almost the size of the hall the two of them were standing in, but there was only one large table in the centre of the room, with a great many chairs standing around it. Several of the chairs were already taken, with one at the end of the table in shadow for some reason. Sitting beside him was a woman. She was short, no more than five foot two, but looked very voluptuous, even in the smart black suit she was wearing. Her jet-black hair, flecked only slightly by some streaks of grey, was trimmed quite short with only the vaguest hint of a side parting. It looked soft and smooth, like velvet, or a cat's fur. There were about five empty chairs at the end of the table, and around the table were a few smaller tables with drinks and biscuits on them. At the other end of the room were two large doors, made of wood.
"Doesn't look like too much," the Doctor said to his friend, as Nina stared around her at everyone at the table.
"True," the Brigadier replied. However, he wasn't listening, his attention all focused on the woman. She seemed somehow familiar, but he couldn't quite remember who she'd been. His memory for names during his UNIT days had been getting terrible in recent times...
"Ah, Miss Spencer," the figure at the end of the table said. "Do sit down. I am Commander Harper, and this," here he indicated the woman sitting beside him, "is my second-in-command, General Kyle."
"WHAT?!" the Brigadier yelled. This caused several people in the room to stop dancing and briefly glance over in his direction, before concluding that a man shouting wasn't any of their business, and then started to dance again.
I can't believe that you
Pull on a sleeve
When you cry (When you cry)
You stick in the knife
And need the kiss of life-
Live the lie (Live the lie)
We all have a saviour
So do yourself a favour
Stop living the lie
"Brigadier, please, stay quiet," the Doctor whispered, as he twisted a few dials on the screen and the sound suddenly vanished. "What's the problem?"
"It's Marianne Kyle, Doctor!" the Brigadier whispered. "That woman from the alternate timeline you visited in the Inferno crisis, who we dealt with while you and Miss Grant were at Peladon!"
"Her?" the Doctor said, looking at the screen again. As he tapped a few of the buttons, the screen's picture suddenly changed. It now showed Marianne Kyle alone, but she looked remarkably different. She was literally glowing blue on the screen- a dull glow admittedly, and with shimmering edges, but still glowing.
"What does that mean?" the Brigadier asked.
"That she's travelled in Time, Brigadier," the Doctor replied, as he started to move the dials back to show the other people at the table. "The shimmering indicates that she's out of sync with this Universe, you-" he began to say, when he suddenly he froze, staring at the man beside Kyle. He was glowing blue with shimmering edges as well, but a lot brighter than Kyle was.
"What in the world?" the Brigadier said.
"Hang on a minute..." the Doctor said, as he began to fiddle with some of the other dials. "Let's just see what this fellow looks like..." he muttered, as the picture on the screen instantly altered. The shadows had been removed, and General Harper was in full light now. He was wearing a dark suit, and his was very cruel and thin, with hair underneath his lip. He had a moustache, a large nose, dark eyes, and his hair, which was black, was receding from his forehead.
"Not a very pleasant-looking fellow, is he?" the Brigadier said, looking over at the Doctor, expecting a simple nod or some other sign of agreement. However, the Doctor did not look like his usual calm self, and was staring at the screen with a look of pure horror on his face.
"Oh no..." he said, staring at the screen. "Oh no...not him...anyone but him..."
"Doctor?" the Brigadier asked.
"How?" the Doctor said to himself, not paying attention to his friend. "How can he be here at the same time as me? Unless, of course, it's because he doesn't posses the exact same biodata as me, and therefore it doesn't destabilise reality. Of course, it might also be because his TARDIS has been holding things stable all this time..." "What?" the Brigadier asked. "Doctor, what in blazes are you talking about? Who is that man?"
"What?" the Doctor asked, looking up at his friend. At the same time, he switched off the receiver, and the screen went back to its original blackness. "Who is he, Brigadier? A saviour of the Universe, and an indirect murderer of a world." He groaned a little. "And someone I prayed I'd never face..."
"Doctor, will you please stop talking in riddles. Who is that fellow?" the Brigadier asked.
"Me, Brigadier," the Doctor said, looking up at him. "Technically, he's my third self."
Cortez Party
February 26th 2003
"Are you sure this'll work?" Nina asked, as she shifted uncomfortably in her driver's seat. The dress she was wearing had seemed like a good choice for the party- an attractive ankle-length red one with no sleeves- but it was starting to get a little uncomfortable, and her eye was itching from the Doctor's eye camera. She was longing to rub it, but the Doctor had told her not to, on the grounds that it might send the lens right round to the other side of her eye.
"Honestly? No, I'm not sure at all," the Doctor said, as he pulled his mask out of his pocket and looked at it. He was wearing a tuxedo that he claimed to have worn to the final showing of a film in 1947, but he didn't look all that comfortable in it, from what Nina could see in the rear-view mirror. "But we don't have any better options, and I have to know who this 'Stranger', or 'Dictator', or whatever he's calling himself now, really is."
"I'm not sure I can pull this off," the Brigadier commented, shifting uncomfortably in the front passenger seat. He looked even worse in his tuxedo than the Doctor, but at least it looked slightly better with his mask on. "Doctor, you know I rarely did stealth even when I was in active service. That was more Mike Yate's job, not mine."
"Look, it's perfectly simple," the Doctor said. "You just keep the mask and the distorter on all the time, and it should work perfectly. Besides, you've got your baton in your pocket should things get too out of control and we need to fight anybody, and I have my sonic screwdriver as well."
"That had better be right," the Brigadier commented, as he looked at the small plastic strip the Doctor had given him before they left the house. "I'm not comfortable with entrusting my vocal chords to a piece of futuristic technology."
"It's fine, Brigadier," the Doctor smiled, as he pulled out his own strip and slipped it and the mask on. "So, how do I look?" he said. Nina noted with some surprise that was actually rather effective- his accent actually sounded a little Japanese instead of his customary Scots burr.
The mask was also very effective, Nina noted- the forehead was higher than the Doctor's was, almost egg-shaped, which was entered even more noticeable by the fact that the fringe had been slightly shaved. The nose also looked a little bent, like it had been broken by a strong punch at least three times, maybe four, and it stuck up a little as well. The mask also covered the eyes, and were now blue instead of the Doctor's normal piercing grey. The chin was also slightly pointed, and he'd added a touch more hair to the eyebrows.
"Well, here I go," the Brigadier sighed, as he pulled the mask on over his head as he stuck the plastic strip over his throat. The effect on him, too, was very striking- the hair was slightly longer than the genuine Boggart's hair had been, and the Doctor had added a moustache and a small goatee to the mask as well. The head had also been made more skin-tight than it had been before, so that it was almost the same shape as the Brigadier's, except for the fact that it was a little rounder around the cheeks. The nose, too, was a bit larger, and the eyes were a combination colour of brown and green. "Does it look real?" he asked. That, too, sounded different- it was a lot deeper and rougher than the Brigadier's normal voice, and had a small trace of an Irish accent in it.
"Now, remember," the Doctor said, as the hall began to come into view over the horizon, "from this point on, I'm Professor Ian Jackson, a physicist, and the Brigadier is James Edwards, a writer trying to get an inside look at army life for his latest book."
"Check," Nina replied, as she stopped just outside the hall. "Here goes nothing..." she thought to herself as she looked at the hall. It was made of large grey bricks, and you couldn't deny that it was big- at least three stories high, the hall had an entranceway so large several people could possibly have fit inside it at once. It had a large clock at the top of a very tall tower on the front as well, and reminded Nina, with its high walls and imposing structure, of the old UNIT file photos of Strangmoor Prison.
A young footman wearing a blue and gold uniform appeared at the side of the car, opening the Brigadier and the Doctor's doors, before going round to the other side of the car to open Nina's. "Good evening, sirs, ma'am," he said, as the three of them stepped out of the car. "May I see your invitation?"
"Right here," Nina said, passing it to the footman.
The footman looked at it, his eyes taking the whole thing in after only a few seconds. "That seems to be in order for you, Miss Spencer," he said, passing the ticket back to her. "May I inquire as to the identity of your friends?"
"Oh, of course," Nina smiled, as she indicated the Doctor. "This is Professor Ian Jackson- I met him at a science conference, brilliant physicist," she said to the man, before indicating the Brigadier, "and this is Mr James Edwards- he's working on an army novel, and I bought him along so he could get a look at what we do in our free time."
"Very well," the footman said, indicating the door. No sooner had the Doctor, the Brigadier and Nina stepped inside the entrance hall, then they caught the sound of music from further inside.
I feel so alive
Make it last forever
Every day is fine
Whenever we're together
I'm so alive
Loving every minute
Underneath the sky
There's a heaven for you and I
"Isn't that S Club?" the Doctor commented, as they headed up the steps towards the main door.
"You know them?" the Brigadier asked. "I though you generally favoured classical music? No wait, this version likes jazz, correct?"
"Yes to both of them, but Susan and I spent a few months on Earth in this era, but decided we felt like visiting the sixties for a while," the Doctor explained. "Still I suppose I just picked up a bit of a fondness for it in my time. Ah, here's the hall," he added suddenly, as they entered the door.
"Wow," Nina commented, as she stared around the hall.
It certainly looked as impressive on the inside as it did on the outside, Nina was prepared to admit- the roof was incredibly high up, stretching through all three floors of the building judging by the balconies to the sides of it, and the top of it was covered with so many rafters you could barely see the plaster. The walls beneath the balconies were covered with wooden panels, reminding Nina a little of the TARDIS's console room, baring the noteworthy absence of the console. At one end of the hall was a large stage with what seemed to be a large radio on it, baring the fact that it was a great deal bigger and most of the controls appeared to be on the back. There was a door, presumably leading to the stage itself, on the right side of the stage. The rest of the hall was covered with tables near the walls, while the central floor was filled with people dancing. Nina also noticed a bar in the right wall, with several of the couples that weren't dancing drinking there.
As soon as I blink
You're playing around
It's makin' me think that
You're not the man 'cos
You're dissin' me, dissin' me
Blink, you're playing around
I think you're going down
All I gotta do is blink
"Rosie Ribbons' Blink?" the Brigadier commented. "Am I imagining it, or hasn't that one been out for a while?"
"It's not your imagination," the Doctor replied, as he sat down in a nearby seat, Nina and the Brigadier taking seats beside him. "I made a point of learning the eras of some popular singers just in case it ever came in useful, and Miss Ribbons had that song out ages ago."
"Couldn't it just be CDs?" Nina pointed out.
"This out of date?" the Doctor commented. "Susan visited a couple of discos while we were in this era, and it's practically a rule that they have music that's recently out playing."
"Is there a problem?" another voice said. Looking around, the three of them saw another footman standing behind them, rather like the one they'd met outside, but older, and with more stubble on his chin.
"Problem? No, not really. More a little puzzle," the Doctor replied, smiling at the man in a friendly way. "Why are you playing music that came out a few months ago? As I recall, parties like this are very up-to-date where music is concerned."
"The budget," the footman replied simply. "We were unable to get some of the latest CD's for this- we have little spare money in this job, and the cost of hiring the hall alone was a severe drain on our spare cash. Our commander, General Harper, had to supply all the CDs himself from his children's collection."
"His children's?" Nina commented. "Man, you guys really don't have a lot of cash to throw around."
"No, we don't. We just try to do our best with what we have," the footman said, as he walked away.
"Odd," Nina commented. "From what I read in the files, Harper didn't strike me as much of a father character."
"Hmm..." the Brigadier commented, as he looked over at the Doctor. "Could he be the Dictator, Doctor?"
"Mmm? Harper? Oh, yes, yes, maybe..." the Doctor replied idly, as he glanced over at the bar. "Excuse me for a moment, will you? I need to get a drink."
In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
Was there that I realised
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
"Mandy Moore, Cry..." the Doctor said, half to himself as he headed over to the bar. "A ginger beer, please," he said to the barman, passing him a two pound coin. While he waited, he hummed to himself a little. This had been an old favourite of his in a past incarnation, so he could easily remember how to sing it.
"'It was late in September, And I'd seen you before... You were always the good one, But I was never that sure... You were all by yourself, staring up out a dark grey sky... I was changed...'"
"Not bad," Nina said, as she suddenly appeared in the seat beside the Doctor. "Cranberry and apple, please," she told the barman, as he came back with the Doctor's drink.
"Certainly, ma'am," the barman replied, as he put the ginger beer down and then turned away.
"Where's the Brigadier?" the Doctor asked Nina out of the corner of his mouth.
"Asking around," Nina replied in the same way. "He's using his cover to pretend to ask about army life, trying to find out about any chinks in the Project's routine, like you requested."
"Perfect," the Doctor smiled, as he took a quick swig of his ginger beer. "If he doesn't notice something fishy, I'll head off to Gallifrey and ask my cousin Innocet out for a ride in the TARDIS."
"That unlikely to happen?" Nina asked.
"She and I didn't really part on good terms," the Doctor replied.
"Oh," Nina said simply. Privately, she wondered what those terms had been, but the Doctor seemed unwilling to elaborate, so she didn't bother. He wasn't the kind to be forced into doing anything he didn't want to, she knew.
I'm gonna getcha while I got you in sight
I'm gonna getcha if it takes all night
You can betcha by the time I say go
You'll never say no.
I'm gonna getcha it's a matter of fight
I'm gonna getcha don't you worry 'bout that
You can bet your bottom dollar in time
You're gonna be mine
Just like I should
I'll getcha good
"How do some people come up with songs like that?" the Brigadier asked, as he joined the Doctor and Nina at the Brigadier.
"Shania Twain not your cup of tea?" Nina asked as she took a sip of her drink. "Well, she's all right, but mainly if you like that sort of thing."
"Yes, quite," the Doctor commented as he put his ginger beer back down on the table. "Still, we didn't come here to discuss music. Anything odd about the Cortez Project's set-up, Brigadier?"
"Nothing major," the Brigadier replied, as he beckoned the barman over. "One Guinness, please," he said, before turning back to the others. "They do have a policy of shoot to kill whatever the adversary is unless their superiors order otherwise, but apart from that there's nothing that I haven't seen before here."
"Drat," the Doctor said to himself. "That makes finding what's going on here even more difficult."
"We'll work something out," Nina smiled. "Maybe somebody will make a mistake and say something incriminating at the meeting."
"Somehow, I doubt it," the Doctor said. "Still, it never hurt to hope, I suppose."
Nobody told me you'd feel so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light, you're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colour blind
"Ah, Darius," the Doctor smiled to himself. "I've never been able to place exactly what I find so appealing about it, but there is a certain something."
"'A certain something'?" the Brigadier said, smiling at his old friend. "I never thought I'd ever hear you saying something like that, Doctor."
"Well, several other people seem to like it," the Doctor commented, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at the hall dance floor.
It was certainly getting crowded, the Brigadier noted privately as he looked at it. Several more people appeared to have decided to dance since the time he'd been going around asking questions, and the floor was filled with all kinds of dancing people. Some were simply slowly waltzing in each other's arms, even though Colour Blind, in the Brigadier's opinion, didn't seem like that kind of song. Others were doing what seemed more appropriate for this music- dancing facing each other without actually holding onto them. Looking around at them, the Brigadier which of them were involved in the Project. And of those who were, how many of them knew the full truth of the organization they served?
"It's never easy, is it?" Nina said, breaking into the Brigadier's train of thought. "Pardon?" he asked, looking around back at her.
"Knowing who's really the bad guys and who's just making a mistake," Nina said. "I noticed you examining those guys with a quizzical look in your eyes."
"Oh. Yes, that's just what I was thinking," the Brigadier sighed, as he looked around again.
In the headlights on the road tonight
Ain't nobody here to make it right
But we couldn't seem to find a way For love to stay
If you had another night to give
I would have another night to live
But you're never going to see me cry
The last goodbye
"Atomic Kitten?" the Doctor said, half to himself, as he sipped a little at his ginger beer. "Haven't heard them in a while."
"Another favourite?" the Brigadier asked.
"Well, I once took Susan to a concert of theirs, although I didn't really pay much attention. I think I was having one of my bad decades at the time."
"Really?" Nina said, as she took a quick sip or her cranberry and apple. "Would that decade have been during the version of you that I knew first, or was it an earlier one than that?"
"Earlier."
"Ah."
Just then, another group of people arrived at the bar. It wasn't a large group- four men and three women- but they seemed to have been doing more drinking then dancing. "Hhheeeyyy!!!" one man said slumping down on the bar and waving a bottle in the Brigadier's face. "Where's the party? Hey, I gotta bottle! Wheresa party?"
"How much have these people been drinking, would you estimate, Doctor?" the Brigadier asked, turning to his friend.
"Well, at least six bottles," the Doctor replied, glaring at the group. "You know, it's people like them that make me wonder why I like this planet so much."
"Well, sorry for not being as good as the Time Lords," Nina said, as she waved one man away from her and took another sip of her drink.
The Doctor smiled, as he took another sip of his drink. "Maybe that's it."
Ignoring the three of them, the man raised one shaking hand and called the barman over.
"Absinthe, barman!" the man yelled, waving his hand up high. "Five glasses, and fasasasasasast!"
"I stand corrected," the Doctor commented to Nina. "If they're drinking absinthe, they've only had two bottles."
"Pathetic, really," Nina said, sipping from her drink again. Looking at the men over the top of her glass, she noticed that one of the men in the group was checking her out, as if considering asking her for a dance. Nina gave him a hard stare that she'd perfected some while ago, that gave the very clear impression that she wasn't interested, and the man backed down.
Oh, life goes on
And it's only going to make me strong
That's a fact
Won't you get up boy, say you're sad and you can't go back
Oh, it's a fight
And I really want to get it right
Where I'm at
It's my life before me
And I've this felling that I can't go back
"Leann Rimes," the Doctor smiled to himself, as he swallowed another pint of ginger beer. Then, he put his bottle down, and his face took on a very serious expression. "Out for far too long."
"What?" the Brigadier asked. He was trying to follow the Doctor, but he'd drunk quite a bit of alcohol already, and was feeling a little confused.
"Too many of these songs have been out for too long," the Doctor explained, as his eyes began to flick around the room. "You'd expect more recent music, even in a child's collection." The Brigadier noticed, with some surprise, that the Doctor appeared to be looking mainly at the young women at the party- he'd never known his friend going in for that kind of thing. "If I'm going to get the truth, I need to test a theory of mine."
"Which is?" Nina asked.
"This," the Doctor smiled, as he leapt out of his seat and headed towards one of the women he been looking at. She had blonde, shoulder-length hair, was wearing a sparkling blue dress that came down to around her knees, and was standing in one corner with a group of various other women.
"Thanks, I'd love to!" the Doctor smiled, as he grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the others.
"Love to what?" she asked him, a little confused.
"Dance, of course!" the Doctor smiled, as he began to dance. Bemused, but apparently enjoying herself, the girl began to follow his moves.
From their seat at the bar, the Brigadier and Nina watched their friend as he began to dance away.
"I think she likes the mask more than anything else," the Brigadier said.
"Pardon?" Nina asked, looking over at him.
"She doesn't know him at all, yet she hasn't shoved him away yet," the Brigadier replied simply.
"Point, I suppose," Nina commented, as she took another sip of her drink. "You know, I doubt I'll ever really understand this guy."
"Don't worry about it," the Brigadier smiled. "I sometimes feel I know him better than anyone else, and I still don't understand him."
The Brigadier beckoned the barman over. "Another Guinness, please," he said, raising his glass.
"Very good, sir," the man replied, as he took the glass and left.
What's the Doctor doing over there, anyway? Nina thought, as the Doctor and his partner suddenly reached the stage. Why did he start dancing?
Just as she was wondering that, the Doctor suddenly broke away from his partner and started to say something to her. To the Brigadier's surprise, she then slapped the Doctor in the face, and walked back to her friends. The Doctor simply looked back at the bar, waved at Nina and the Brigadier, and then headed back to them.
"Well, that got her out of the way," the Doctor smiled, as he sat back down in his seat.
"What did?" Nina asked.
"Well, I didn't want her hanging around after I'd found out what I needed to know," the Doctor explained. "So, I simply made a deliberately insulting comment, and she left me."
"Oh," Nina said, glancing over at the woman. She certainly didn't look very happy, and she hoped that, whatever the Doctor had said, it hadn't been too bad. "Whatever you said, could you have come up with something gentler?"
"Maybe," the Doctor replied. Scratching his throat a little, he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Sorry, the distorter's getting a little sore. Anyway, I didn't really have the time to come up with something gentler, and I was a little shaken as well. I've just discovered something else."
"What?" the Brigadier asked, looking over from his third pint of Guinness. He seemed to be swaying a little, but looked relatively clear on what was going on.
"The Dictator is involved," the Doctor said. Pulling out his sonic screwdriver, he began to spin it round and round in his hands, as he stared up to the roof. "And whoever he is, he regards Time itself as nothing more than one of his tools."
"That's not good," Nina said. "I mean, I don't have your knowledge of time and that, but I'm fairly sure you don't treat Time like that."
"How did you work that out, Doctor?" the Brigadier asked.
"With this," the Doctor said, holding his sonic screwdriver out. "While I was dancing, I used this to take a quick scan of the music box by slipping this behind her back. I detected faint readings of temporal energy."
"Meaning?" Nina asked. She knew what temporal energy was, of course, but she didn't follow what it being near to the radio had to do with anything.
"The Dictator, whoever he is, has developed a very unique kind of radio," the Doctor explained. "It reaches back into the past, pulls out various radio waves, and then transfers them to the speakers. He didn't reach into the present because the Time lords could detect that, but if it's in the past, they could get the point of origin of the signal wrong."
"Wow," Nina said. "Well, you can't say he isn't smart."
"Actually, you could," the Doctor said. "Time Lords could generally make something like that very easily. So, by Time Lord standards, he may not be the sharpest tool in the shed."
"Well, I suppose that's something," Nina groaned. Just then, Nina felt a brief, but firm, tap on her shoulder. Turning round, she saw the older footman standing behind her.
"Excuse me, Miss Spencer, but your meeting awaits," he said simply.
"Oh, right. Sorry, almost forgot about that," Nina said, as she got out of her seat. "Ian, James, be back soon, OK?"
"Check, Nina. Don't take too long!" the Doctor smiled, as he slipped one hand into his pocket.
*****
As Nina walked away, he pulled out the receiver and gently shoved the Brigadier on the shoulder.
"Uh? What is it, Doctor?" the Brigadier asked, raising his head off the table.
"You really should cut back on the drinks, Brigadier," the Doctor smiled at his friend. "Anyway, as I was about to say, Nina's going off to the Cortez Project meeting right now. We should soon be finding out exactly who's behind this whole affair."
The Brigadier leaned over and looked at the receiver's screen. It was currently showing nothing other than blackness. "Not much on, is there?"
"Well, of course not," the Doctor sighed. "I haven't even turned it on yet. Now, let's see what we have here..." he said, as he leaned over the receiver and began to work away at some of the controls.
All that you see is me
Although I truly believe
That I was born to try
I'll learn to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've gotta make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've gotta sacrifice
The things you like
But I was born to try
"Ah, Delta Goodrem," the Brigadier commented, as he moved one seat up so that he could see the receiver better.
"You know of her?" the Doctor asked, as he fiddled a little with some dials at the side of the receiver.
"Only a little," the Brigadier commented. "Doris is always watching those soap operas- you know, Neighbours, Eastenders, that sort of thing."
"Oh, yes, that's right. She's Nina Tucker, isn't she?" the Doctor asked, looking up from the receiver.
"Correct. Doctor, not meaning to be rude, but shouldn't you be focusing on this right now?" the Brigadier commented, tapping the receiver.
"Ah, yes," the Doctor said, looking back down. There was a picture coming up now, albeit not a very clear one. From what the Brigadier could make out, it showed the footman they'd seen earlier, apparently seen through somebody else's eyes.
"From Miss Spencer's point of view, correct?" the Brigadier asked the Doctor.
"Exactly, Brigadier," the Doctor smiled. "I'll make a scientist of you yet."
"I don't think I'll ever get that far, Doctor," the Brigadier replied, as he watched the screen. Now the footman was walking towards a nearby shed, tucked away in the corner of the garden outside the hall. He opened the door, and after a brief pause, Nina entered the shed.
"Too bad there isn't any sound," the Brigadier commented.
"Well, I could only wire this receiver up to her visual nerves, Brigadier," the Doctor sighed. "I just didn't have the time to set up a full sensory receiver in two days. We'll just have to make do."
Now Nina was heading down some steep steps inside the shed, and there was a door in front of her. Raising her eyes to the ceiling, as though in a prayer, she opened the door.
"Oh dear," the Doctor said simply, as the sight behind the door became more obvious. It was a large room, almost the size of the hall the two of them were standing in, but there was only one large table in the centre of the room, with a great many chairs standing around it. Several of the chairs were already taken, with one at the end of the table in shadow for some reason. Sitting beside him was a woman. She was short, no more than five foot two, but looked very voluptuous, even in the smart black suit she was wearing. Her jet-black hair, flecked only slightly by some streaks of grey, was trimmed quite short with only the vaguest hint of a side parting. It looked soft and smooth, like velvet, or a cat's fur. There were about five empty chairs at the end of the table, and around the table were a few smaller tables with drinks and biscuits on them. At the other end of the room were two large doors, made of wood.
"Doesn't look like too much," the Doctor said to his friend, as Nina stared around her at everyone at the table.
"True," the Brigadier replied. However, he wasn't listening, his attention all focused on the woman. She seemed somehow familiar, but he couldn't quite remember who she'd been. His memory for names during his UNIT days had been getting terrible in recent times...
"Ah, Miss Spencer," the figure at the end of the table said. "Do sit down. I am Commander Harper, and this," here he indicated the woman sitting beside him, "is my second-in-command, General Kyle."
"WHAT?!" the Brigadier yelled. This caused several people in the room to stop dancing and briefly glance over in his direction, before concluding that a man shouting wasn't any of their business, and then started to dance again.
I can't believe that you
Pull on a sleeve
When you cry (When you cry)
You stick in the knife
And need the kiss of life-
Live the lie (Live the lie)
We all have a saviour
So do yourself a favour
Stop living the lie
"Brigadier, please, stay quiet," the Doctor whispered, as he twisted a few dials on the screen and the sound suddenly vanished. "What's the problem?"
"It's Marianne Kyle, Doctor!" the Brigadier whispered. "That woman from the alternate timeline you visited in the Inferno crisis, who we dealt with while you and Miss Grant were at Peladon!"
"Her?" the Doctor said, looking at the screen again. As he tapped a few of the buttons, the screen's picture suddenly changed. It now showed Marianne Kyle alone, but she looked remarkably different. She was literally glowing blue on the screen- a dull glow admittedly, and with shimmering edges, but still glowing.
"What does that mean?" the Brigadier asked.
"That she's travelled in Time, Brigadier," the Doctor replied, as he started to move the dials back to show the other people at the table. "The shimmering indicates that she's out of sync with this Universe, you-" he began to say, when he suddenly he froze, staring at the man beside Kyle. He was glowing blue with shimmering edges as well, but a lot brighter than Kyle was.
"What in the world?" the Brigadier said.
"Hang on a minute..." the Doctor said, as he began to fiddle with some of the other dials. "Let's just see what this fellow looks like..." he muttered, as the picture on the screen instantly altered. The shadows had been removed, and General Harper was in full light now. He was wearing a dark suit, and his was very cruel and thin, with hair underneath his lip. He had a moustache, a large nose, dark eyes, and his hair, which was black, was receding from his forehead.
"Not a very pleasant-looking fellow, is he?" the Brigadier said, looking over at the Doctor, expecting a simple nod or some other sign of agreement. However, the Doctor did not look like his usual calm self, and was staring at the screen with a look of pure horror on his face.
"Oh no..." he said, staring at the screen. "Oh no...not him...anyone but him..."
"Doctor?" the Brigadier asked.
"How?" the Doctor said to himself, not paying attention to his friend. "How can he be here at the same time as me? Unless, of course, it's because he doesn't posses the exact same biodata as me, and therefore it doesn't destabilise reality. Of course, it might also be because his TARDIS has been holding things stable all this time..." "What?" the Brigadier asked. "Doctor, what in blazes are you talking about? Who is that man?"
"What?" the Doctor asked, looking up at his friend. At the same time, he switched off the receiver, and the screen went back to its original blackness. "Who is he, Brigadier? A saviour of the Universe, and an indirect murderer of a world." He groaned a little. "And someone I prayed I'd never face..."
"Doctor, will you please stop talking in riddles. Who is that fellow?" the Brigadier asked.
"Me, Brigadier," the Doctor said, looking up at him. "Technically, he's my third self."
