Title: Halloween, Episode X(ander)
Author: DhampyrX2
Genre: Halloween remix
Rating: PG-13, just to be safe
Summary: Xander wears a different costume, yadda, yadda, yoda.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Don't sue me, I'm poor.
******
*Whoa. Time Out! What do you mean Padawan apprentice? Jedi are
fiction, even if you're suddenly real, and I'm certainly no Jedi
candidate even if they are real. Besides I'm too old, I mean, you
turned and went all Big Bad, and were turned away because you
started training at nine. I'm nearly sixteen here. The last thing
the Hellmouth needs is another Big Bad here, Ani.*, Xander protested
from his place where he was set aside in his own head while Vader
occupied it.
"WILL YOU STOP THAT INCESSANT CHATTER, CHILD?*, Vader roared in
reply, his voice tinged with the rage only an experienced Dark Side
wielder could control.
*Eeep*, was Xander's only reply to that.
Once Lord Vader was certain Xander would remain quiet and listen for
five seconds, instead of going into a blind panic, he explained
himself. *The Force is real. You know that as well as I do now,
Alexander. You were strong in the Force before I ever possessed
you. You just never had the training to recognize or use it. Also,
my presence has apparently increased your midi-chlorian count. I
feel the Force as strongly as I ever did, now that I've had time to
adjust to my surroundings. You will most likely keep that power,
even after I leave you. And even if you reverted to your old count,
you'd still be Force sensitive, and would understand what that
means, thanks to our new bond. To get the information I needed,
especially since we are currently in the same body, I needed to
connect more deeply with you. The fastest and easiest way was what
we just experienced watching each other's lives. You gained the
memories of my training, which I predict will serve you well, and we
now have what feels like a Master/Padawan bond. If that's possible
while sharing one body. Do you understand now?*
*Uhhh...yeah. Sort of, I guess. It actually makes sense in ways
that scare me.*, Xander replied timidly.
*That is good. In time you will learn to use that fear, my
apprentice. You have an opportunity I never had. With your
combined training, you will understand both sides of the Force from
the beginning, and will be able to choose your own path. I sense
great things for you, Padawan.*, Vader replied calmly. His voice
took on a darker tone as he added, *And until I leave you, you will
refer to me as "Master." Not Anakin, not Vader, and especially not
_Ani_. Only one person could call me that in adulthood and not face
my wrath.*
*Guess I'm not pretty enough to pass for your wife, eh Master?*,
Xander joked nervously, as he drew on Vader's memories to figure out
the Sith Lord's warning.
Surprisingly Vader laughed in their head at the joke. More
surprising was that the laugh was light, and hearty, instead of the
sinister cackles Xander had associated with the Sith through his real
and movie born images of Palpatine. *No, you are far too tall and
ugly for me to make a mistake like _that_*, Vader answered.
Xander's confidence returned slightly as he added, *Well at least
I'm not a scruffy looking nerf-herder, right?*
Vader's mental voice grew irritated again as he grumbled, *I'd
almost prefer Leia had feelings for the Wookie. At least Luke ends
up with someone civilized. I may not like Mara Jade, but she is
skilled and mannered. Captain Solo and I will have to have words
about his intentions when I return to my own body. Just because
they have a good potential future, doesn't mean we won't talk in the
here and now.*
*I pity Han Solo, Master. Um, Master? Where are we going?*, Xander
asked noticing that they were headed downtown.
*To obtain some supplies for you. I doubt my lightsaber will remain
real after whatever magic caused this ends. I will have to build
you training sabers to keep you in practice until you are ready to
build your own. From there, we will go where the Force guides us,
Padawan.* Vader replied as they reached an electronics store. Darth
Vader used a small application of the force to open the locked
door, obtained a bag from the checkout register, and proceeded to
fill it with all the parts, minus the gemstones or crystals, he'd
need to make passably functioning light sabers. He decided to make
four training sabers, whose power output would only stun and shock
someone if they landed on flesh, and two real sabers one red, and
one blue, to commemorate Xander's burgeoning choices.
Xander, for his part remained in quiet awe at the thought of being a
real Jedi, and owning a real lightsaber. A part of him was bothered
with the fact they were technically stealing the components, but he
figured the ends would justify the means. After all, he was getting
a few _REAL_ lightsabers. This Halloween misadventure was
definitely turning out better than he first thought it to be.
Vader used a wave of his hand to clear a display table with a
computer on it using the Force, and put his newfound treasures there
instead. The Sith felt like a boy again, searching through
worthless junk to make something useful, as he had for Watto as a
slave on Tatooine. It filled the Dark Lord with a strange sense of
peace to do this kind of rummaging work. Vader used a fine control
of the Force, and extreme concentration, to begin to shape the metal
casings and circuits to what he wanted them to be.
It took Vader nearly half an hour to finish his masterpieces, but
when he was done, he had six working lightsabers, minus focusing
crystals and a proper hook up to charge them. Vader knew that
Xander would not have access to a portable fusion generator unless
the boy managed to cobble one together himself in the future, so he
jury-rigged a power adapter that would allow Xander to charge them
with live electrical current, preferably from a lightning rod, or
Xander's own Force lightning, in the future. He made sure to
explain that to the boy as they left, securing the new, but still
incomplete, sabers behind his back.
They walked for a few minutes, Xander brimming with excitement at
the thought of finishing the Jedi and Sith weapons.
*Easy, Padawan. You will still need gemstones to activate them, and
there are likely few, if any, here of the size you will need. You
must learn patience.*, Vader replied, not noticing how much like Obi-
Wan he sounded, there.
*Aww man...*, Xander said, beginning a word class pout when a voice
interrupted the mental conversation.
"Well well. Lookee what a've found 'ere. Some dressed up poof all
set for a ball, wif' a mask an ev'ry'fing.", a pathetic voice crowed
from ahead of Vader, eyeing him hungrily. "Wif a cape like that,
and those fancy knickers, you must be loaded, mate. Ha'd over your
wealf' an' I won' cut ya'", Larry the Pirate said, brandishing his
sword at the Dark Lord of the Sith.
*Larry.*, Xander growled angrily, his own rage welling up at the
sight of the boy who had humiliated him earlier in the week.
Vader's opinion of the pirate seemed to agree with the visions
Xander's angry mind was conjuring as he replied. "You are a fool.
I will show you what true power is.", the Dark Lord replied
impassively, waiting for the pirate to make his first, and last,
mistake.
Xander realized what was happening quite easily, and quickly tried
to intercede. *Whoa. Hold on. I know he's a jerk, and he publicly
emasculated me and all, but he's just a stupid high school jock. He
doesn't deserve to die! Please master...If you kill him, I'll never
be able to avenge myself.*, Xander pleaded, trying to use tactics
most likely to sway Vader that he had learned from the Sith`s
memories.
*Very well, Padawan. I won't kill him.*, Vader replied mentally.
"Yer funeral, mate. But wif' that breafin', I think I'll be doing
ye a favor guttin' ya'", the pirate sneered as he charged Vader,
aiming his sword for the Sith's gut.
^Snap. Hiss...Vhmmmmp^, was the sound that filled the air after
that, as Vader activated his lightsaber and slashed with it,
removing the sword, and the right arm supporting its weight, to a
point just below the elbow. The sword fell with a clatter, with
Larry's right hand still clutching it as if refusing to admit
neither was in Larry's possession any longer.
As for the neo-Pirate in question, he looked at his severed arm,
then at the cauterized stump where it had been, then at the still
ignited red lightsaber in shock for a few seconds. Then, once he
had processed what he felt was enough, he screamed like frightened
child, wet himself, and ran as fast as he could away from the
creature that had just maimed him with some kind of magic weapon.
*WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!? I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO HURT HIM!,* Xander cried out in sudden alarm.
*I said I would not kill him. Obi-wan did the same thing in that
Cantina in your movies, Padawan. And he was of the Light Side
alone. Did you really expect me to do any less to someone like
that. This is a harsh world, my apprentice. Sometimes harsh
lessons are needed.*, Vader explained, clearly unbothered by both
his actions, and Xander's reaction to them.
*I know, Master. But still...that isn't how we do things in
Sunnydale.*, Xander protested lamely.
Vader felt a brief explosion of dark humor as he imitated Yoda and
replied, *And that, is why you fail.* His mental voice returned to
normal as the Dark Lord resumed walking. *It is a hard lesson to
consider, Padawan, I know that. But Jedi or Sith, a warrior still
must face it. You will come to understand it in time. That is the
way of things.*
*The way of the Force.*, Xander replied softly, finishing another
quote of Yoda's.
*Yes. Master Yoda held great wisdom, boy, even if he never liked me.
Now try to compose yourself a bit. I don't know how much time we
have left together, but the Force is calling to me...to us. There
is still more to do this night. We must be ready.*, Vader answered,
doing his best to comfort his apprentice. Something Obi-Wan failed
to attempt to do for Anakin on too many occasions.
*Yes, my Master.*, Xander replied respectfully, as sat back in the
place he was stuck in his head, pondering what else the Force had in
store for them this Halloween.
