Title: Halloween, Episode X(ander)

Author: DhampyrX2

Genre: Halloween remix

Rating: PG-13, just to be safe

Summary: Xander wears a different costume, yadda, yadda, yoda.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Don't sue me, I'm poor.

*****

While Vader let the Force guide him, and Xander pondered his ultimate
place in the scheme of the universe, the others had an adventure very
similar to the one they shared in another universe and another
timeline known by many throughout the multiverse. The only thing
missing was a common soldier, which was not much of change, all things
considered. The only significant early change was a conversation
between a ghost and a librarian.

"...I see. The ghost of what exactly?", Giles asked in his
flustered, too English manner.

"Hey you should see what Cordelia was wearing! Sh..she had on this
unitard thingy with cat ears and a tail.", Willow replied, in an
equally flustered way.

"Really, and she became a feline, then?", Giles asked, intrigued.

Willow looked thoughtful as she replied, "No, she was still just
Cordy, in a cat costume." The future Wicca mulled that over for a
while before exclaiming "Partytown! She said she got her costume
there. Buffy Xander and I all got stuff for ours at a new place
called Ethan's."

"Ethan's?", Giles asked, his eyes going cold and hard for a moment.
He then grew thoughtful as he asked, "And what of young Mr. Harris?
You never mentioned what his costume was."

Willows eyes went wide first in excitement, then in fear and
trepidation as she thought of the possible ramifications of Xander's
costume. "Ummm, well...he just bought a cape. The rest of it he
made from stuff he scrounged, and a mask and a few other toys he had
bought with Jesse when we were kids. But now he's him and I never
thought of it until now, and myGODwehavetofindhim!", Willow babbled,
getting faster as she grew more flustered.

"Willow! Calm yourself. Now, who did Xander dress as for Halloween
to get you so flustered? The Phantom of the Opera?", Giles asked in
exasperation, although he a little paled at that particular thought.

"I wish.", Willow answered. "He, uh, kind of dressed as Darth
Vader. He's from a series of modern movies and books called..."

Giles cut her off with a gesture as he replied, "I know who Darth
Vader is, Willow. I might be a bit behind on popular culture, but
I'm not deaf, blind and stupid. Everyone in the modern world knows
at least that much about Star Wars." He then paled further as his
mind went down the same path Willow's had moment before. "My word.
Then, if he became his costume as well..." Giles began to clean his
glasses compulsively as he thought things through. "Willow, give me
the address to Ethan's. I'll see what I can find and try to fix all
this. You rejoin Buffy and the others and keep an eye on them.
We'll just have to pray Xander will be alright, and can hold out
until the spell is broken.", the Watcher ordered, although his voice
was low, and held a tinge of sorrow in it as he mentioned Xander."

Willow's ghostly eyes widened as she exclaimed a plaintive, "But
Giles!"

"Just do it Willow. We have neither the time, nor the means to track
down and attempt to reign in the likes of Darth Vader made real. I
will do what I can to end this at the source. The best thing you can
do to help is to do as I ask."

As Willow rejoined the group, eventually having to chase down a vampire slayer turned useless twit at the sight of Angel growing more forehead (oh, and fangs and yellow eyes too), and Giles hunted down Ethan, the Sith Lord in question was busy instructing Xander in the finer points of lightsaber dueling.

*You see, Padawan, that in combat, there is no honor. Not that these vermin deserved a fair fight to begin with.*, Vader instructed, as he used the Force to knock another vampire they had encountered down, before decapitating the stunned creature with his lightsaber.

*I kind of gathered that form your duel with Luke on Bespin, Master.*, Xander replied. Truthfully, he was just glad this vampire, easily identified as a real bloodsucker by the torn 1994 varsity jacket it wore, was turned into so much dust. That was one less around to kill innocents, and one less to put his friends in danger. Xander would be happy to see the whole demonic species driven to extinction.

*You forget, Padawan. That duel has not happened for me, yet. And I don't intend to let it either. You still need whatever lessons I can teach you without control of your own body while I can still impart them.*, Vader reminded the youth.

*Yes, my Master.*, Xander replied, keeping his tone respectful. It was kind of funny to the teen, but, now that he thought about it, he wasn't listening to Vader out of fear. Despite every instinct he felt he _should_ have, he liked and trusted his new Master. And his instincts were agreeing with him, in spite of himself.

Vader's lessons were cut short as he felt a tremor in the Force. *Things are coming to a head, Alexander. Come, I feel a pull in this direction.*, Vader said, forgetting that Xander had little choice about following him.

Xander reminded him of that with a sarcastic, *Like I have a choice in the matter.*

*I'd make a comment about you and your mouth being the death of me, but I prefer to learn from Obi-Wan's mistakes wherever I can, so that I don't repeat them.*, Vader replied, wondering if he ever annoyed Obi-wan like this with his own taunting of the Jedi when he was Xander's age.

*****

The other's meanwhile, had just had a run in with Spike, after finding Buffy hiding from Angel in an alley, but revealing herself by screaming in terror when she saw a black cat. This led to them holing up in a warehouse, until Spike and his transformed trick or treater minions forced the door open and restrained Angel and Cordy.

As Buffy cowered and cried, Spike marveled at her. "Look at you, terrified of your own shadow...you're sniveling and begging for mercy.", he said, as if disgusted. The Master vampire then dropped his disappointed act, sporting a huge grin as he crowed, "I love it!", before leaning over to tear Lady Elizabeth Summers' throat out.

His momentum was stopped abruptly as a crate seemed to decide to lift up spontaneously, and smack the bleach blonde vampire in the head at high speed. Although this didn't kill the vampire, as it would a human, it did knock him back a good twelve feet, and stun him enough that he needed to take stock of his surrounding as he stood up. The first thing he noticed was that the Slayer was still cowering and crying, but was watching him with a much wider eyed astonishment then before. The next thing he noticed were the looks ranging from the shock on the cheerleader's face, to the worry on his grandpoof's, to downright fear on the ghost of Red.

He also noticed that, save for Buffy, everyone in the room was facing the entrance to the warehouse. He was about to ask what the "bleedin' 'ell" was going on when he first heard the sound...

"Whoo-Khhhhsss" "Whoo-Khhhhsss" "Whoo-Khhhhsss" "Whoo-Khhhhsss" "Whoo-Khhhhsss"

For some reason he couldn't immediately place, Spike knew that that sound, which seemed strangely familiar in some off way, was going to mean big trouble for him. He turned slowly, afraid of what he'd see there. His fears and assumptions proved valid as he took in the sight before him. There, in the doorway, stood Darth Vader, his respirator the only sound now after the awed silence his arrival created.

"You have got to be bloody kidding me.", Spike muttered to himself, as he backed up a step at the sight.

Vader's booming voice filled the room as he exclaimed, "The young woman you were about to kill is a friend of the young man that helped bring me here, vampire. In light of that it would be...rude of me to stand by and let you do as you wish to his friends.", the Sith Lord said, as he strode further into the room.

"Well that's understandable, I suppose. You owin' a favor an' all. But she's my enemy. It's not really your concern.", Spike replied, his voice growing more confident as he spoke. No matter how weird this Halloween was, Darth Vader wasn't real. This had to be some trick. "Now sod off before I have my friends off the others.", Spike said with a grin. Besides, Vader was a black hat, anyway. Right? There was no way he'd make an effort to save Fluffy even if he was real.

"You seem to think you have the power to negotiate with me, vampire. Frankly, I find your lack of faith in my abilities...disturbing.", the Sith Lord said, as he waved his hand negligently at the Scoobys, and the demons holding them. As he did this, each of the demon's felt their hands being pried off their prisoners, before they were flung into the opposing wall with enough force to incapacitate them.

Spike gulped audibly, which nicely accompanied the "eeep", let out by Willow, and the dueling shrieks Buffy and Cordelia let out as bodies went flying.

"Now that you no longer have hostages to try to bargain with, allow me to show you the true nature of the Force.", the Sith Lord said, igniting his lightsaber with a snap-hiss. The hum of the blade whistled through the air, as Vader made his way toward the still back-pedaling Spike. "From what I gathered reading young Alexander's memories, you one called Angelus your 'Yoda', Spike. That would mean you fancy yourself a Jedi, and claim to be the same. Those are serious crimes, punishable by death in the Empire. Allow me to show you just I _do_ to Jedi who defy me."

Spike actually seemed to pale at Vader's words, which was no mean feat for his. He was pasty to begin with, even by vampire standards. Of course, the fact that Darth Vader knew his name, was going to go medieval on his arse, and seemed to want to help Droopy boy, who had apparently provided the information, was reason enough to go pale. "Can't we talk about this?", he asked as his back hit the wall, Vader still advancing.

"No.", the Sith Lord replied, slashing almost lazily at burning a gash into his chest, but giving him enough room to dodge and scramble away. It was obvious to all that Vader was playing with him.

This went on for several tense moments, leaving Spike as the one sniveling over a crate. Vader reached up to end the "fight", and William the Bloody's existence with a decapitation blow...

Unfortunately, it was at that second that the spell ended, and Spike was merely him in the neck with a red plastic tube, shattering it, but leaving Spike relatively undamaged..

"Oh STANG!", Xander replied angrily, stepping back from Spike, and lifting his mask, to examine the remnants of his favorite childhood toy. "Vader wasn't kidding when he said he could feel the spell ending. Why the hell couldn't he finish off peroxide boy sooner? Now I'll never be able to fix this. It was a collector's item.", Xander lamented.

Spike blinked owlishly at this chain of events. He was grateful for his survival, of course, but what really shocked and upset him was Xander, standing there, lamenting his broken toy, and bitching about Spike's appreciated survival. The vampire growled, grabbing the boy by the shirt and lifting him off the ground. "Care for round two, whelp?", Spike snarled. Curiously, instead of cowering, the boy just grinned at him. "Care to let me in on the joke before I wear your guts for garters, boy?", he asked.

"I'd love a second go round Spikey, but A.) I don't swing that way, and B.) you already have a dance partner.", Xander replied with a cheeky grin, as he looked over Spike's shoulder.

Spike glanced at whatever Xander was looking at in time to receive a full force punch to the face, making him drop the boy in favor of flying uncontrollably for a few feet.

"Hi, honey. I'm Home.", Buffy said with a grin, her brown wig removed.

*****

OOC: I'll end it there for now. Part five, the epilogue will contain a flashback with Xander's last long conversation with Vader, and the day after aftermath stuff. Thus will end Episode X. I'm still thinking of what to call the sequel(s). Oh well. It will come to me eventually.

DhampyrX2