Wow! Third Chapter!

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Chapter three: In which Percy takes a Liberty

Will opened the secure lock of his blacksmith shop. He stepped into the humid darkness, the fire crackling merrily. As he closed the wooden door, a putrid smell filled his nostrils, and then his lungs. Coughing and gasping, he re-opened the door, wallowing in the clean air.

Turning to find the source of the smell, he saw a man, standing in the middle of his shop.

"Who are you? How'd you get in?"

The small, unearthly smelling man sniffed. He wiped his grubby nose on his equally dirty sleeve.

"I am Baldric, milord. I don't know how I got in."

"Baldric? I don't know anyone called that. Where'd you live?"

"The roof, milord."

"The roof?"

"Well, that's when he's in a good mood. Normally I sleep in the gutter."

Will stared at the strange man. He stank, but Will was beginning to get used to that. His clothes were so horrid that he must be a servant.

"Who is your master?"

"Lord Blackadder, milord."

"I've never heard of him. Where does he live?"

"In London, in a big house. Near the Queen."

"Which Queen?"

Baldric rolled his eyes.

"Well, milord, I am stupid, but even I know who the Queen is. She's the ginger headed woman, what wears all those pretty dresses."

"What's her name?"

"Queen Elizabeth!"

Will stared once more. Baldric picked a lump of mud off his coat, inspected it, and wolfed it down.

There came a frantic knocking. Will gestured for Baldric to stay put, while he hurried to the half-open door. Elizabeth stood without, looking agitated.

"Will! It's so strange! There's this Queen in our house, who looks like Queen Elizabeth!"

"Really?"

"Yes! She keeps asking for someone called Blackadder. Do you know anyone by that name?"

"No, but the smelly servant in my workshop keeps asking for him as well. He also seems to think this is the Elizabethan Era."

They looked at one another. Elizabeth took a step into the gloom. Almost at once she jumped back, repulsed.

"What is that smell?"

"That, fair Elizabeth, is Baldric."

Once again, Will went inside, followed by Elizabeth, who wrinkled her nose distastefully at the pungent aroma. However, there was another man standing beside Baldric. He wore an orange tunic, with embroidered sleeves, and very small, daft looking ruff.

"Oh, I say. Is this your house?"

Will threw out his arm to keep Elizabeth away from the newcomer. The man smiled like an imbecile. He gave Elizabeth what he seemed to think passed as a charming grin, and sauntered toward her.

"Well hello, pretty young lady you! Where've you been hiding, hmm?"

Elizabeth eyed him stonily for a second, before slapping him soundly across the face.

The man recoiled with a dainty yelp.

"Mr Bladric, who is this?"

"Ahh, that's Lord Percy Percy, milord."

"Percy Percy?"

"No milord. Lord Percy Percy!"

The man newly named Percy, huffed in an uppity manner, and advanced on Will.

"Yes, my good man. One such as yourself ought to show me some respect!"

Will looked at Elizabeth. She straightened her skirts, and said:

"If you two, er, gentlemen would accompany me, I'll escort you too your Queen."

"Thank you, my young lass!"

"Yes, thank you milady."