My Love Song

She saw his soft side and for once she was happy

But can he ever forgive Ashley for her mistakes?

Contains; Romance, Drama

Main Characters; Ashley, Spinner, Terri, Paige

Chapter Three; In The End

+ - + -+

"Look, just, just hold still," I say sitting on Spinner's couch, holding down Spinner's arm with my left hand and cleaning his cut with my right. He winces. "Spinner," I say annoyed. He finally pulls away hard and eliminates himself from beside me. He stands up and looks at me. "I'm trying to help here," I say glancing up at him. He shakes his head.

"I don't need help," Spinner says tightly. I heave a sigh. "You know this isn't about that," he explains.

"It's about Craig," I say upset by the name. It gets quiet before he sits back down.

"It's about us," he corrects. I look over at him. Us? That sounds so good and so right.

"Us?" I ask giving him a little smirk.

"I know who that poem was about," he tells me a bit nervous. I swallow.

"Did you like it?" I ask squinting my eyes. He nodded slightly. "I meant it. All of it, everything," I say readjusting myself towards him. "I don't hate you like you think I do. I don't hate you for breaking up with me," I truthfully say.

"And I don't hate you," he says quickly. That's such a relief. "But it seems like you've made me into the bad guy since this year started, when all that happened, I didn't know if you were still hung up on Craig!" He says loudly and sounding angry.

"You didn't need to take my word for it, Spinner. If you loved me the way I thought you did I wouldn't have to keep telling you," I defend.

"We said a lot of things we didn't mean," the silence around us condenses quickly, as we look each other in the eye so closely. I could feel wet tears and I could feel my frown becoming so low to the ground. In this moment I can only see his eyes, hurt but confused, I can picture us breaking apart, tearing away everything we once had. All the words we once mentioned and our love. I blink profusely.

"You didn't love me," I whisper. He doesn't speak and we stay positioned for a while. I start to whimper stiffly. I shake my head and remove myself from the couch. I walk a few feet away and lean against the cold white wall as I let my face fall into my hands. I cry penetratingly and my whole body trembles. Then I feel his arms around my shoulders holding me close.

"I'm sorry-"

"Get away from me!" I yell throwing his hands off of me. I look at him straightforwardly. "You lied to me! I loved you, Spinner, I still love you!" I cry out.

"You throw love around like it's nothing! You love everyone!" he shouts back.

"How could you do that? You do hate me because no one who even cared a little bit wouldn't lie to me about something like that!" I yell.

"I just saved you! How could you say I don't care?" I remind me.

"But what about after the whole break up thing? You didn't show me then," I snap.

"Yeah because I thought you didn't want me, you wanted Craig! But I was stupid I'm sorry"

"I've always wanted you, Spinner," I whisper firmly. "When I was with you, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else and when I wasn't with you, I'd think about you steadily. My life has been a living hell without you," I say furiously.

"I've missed you too"

"Well why couldn't you love me? Why can't you love me, Spinner?" He doesn't say anything. I can hear him almost crying though, but it isn't enough. He hunches his back and lowers his head so I can't see. He sniffles. I walk rapidly past him and he follows me with his eyes as I fling the door open and shut it hard. What to do now.

+ - + -+

I sit on my porch with my arms around my legs rocking myself slowly back and forth as I look beyond the houses into front of me into the pale blue sky. I can't believe he lied to me all that time. When I thought I had someone . . . oh why does it matter, I should have known. I've lost Jimmy, Sean, Craig, and now Spinner. I sigh heavily. And fall backwards onto my porch where I lye there uncaring if I look stupid or if they see most of my stomach.

"You really should have gotten your belly button pierced," I hear a voice in front of me. Okay, maybe I do care a little but not enough to pull it down. Before I can sit up, he sits beside me. Jimmy, of course. He sits there holding a basketball in his hands, smiling down on me. "It would be cute," he shrugs. I smile politely. "I know that smile, what's up?" he asks. I look away from him out into the sky.

"I got into an argument," I confess. "With Spinner," I add. He too looks out into the distance sort of bothered at mentioning him. I look at him again but he doesn't look back. "Jimmy, what's wrong?" I ask. He shakes his head as he looks down at his twirling basketball.

"Nothing," he says flatly.

"Something, is it me? Is it Spinner?" I ask. He doesn't say anything. "Jimmy, please," I beg.

"Ash, it's nothing, okay," He says angry as he looks over at me. I don't say anything else and he doesn't. I sigh.

"Jimmy," I pause. "Do you . . . still . . . ya know . . . like me?" I ask unsure. He nods.

"Yeah, Ash . . . I do," he admits bluntly, something I really didn't expect. I don't know what to say. Should I hug him? Kiss him? I'm speechless.

"And you hate that me and Spinner were together?" I ask some more.

"Yes, okay. Seeing my best friend with my ex girlfriend, that made my day," he says looking out again.

"But, Jimmy, we've tried so many times before and it never worked," I remind him.

"Keyword, before," he says shrugging again.

"What do you mean?" I request.

"I mean, yeah I know, we failed a couple times but maybe this time it'll be different," he explains wistfully. "You taught me my lesson, Ash," he goes on. He leans in for the kiss of approval. I find myself closing my eyes as I still lay on my hard cement porch. He's so close now, I feel him breathing at my lips. My lips tremble and I know his do too. I wait for the moment and . . .