Gay Bar
a song fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill
disclaimers: The song "Gay Bar" is by Electric Six, and I don't own them, the song, or anything related to the Matrix. I own nothing! Are you happy?
---------------------
*Girl!
I wanna take you to a gay bar!*
Her hair was messy and thin. Her makeup smudged on her face, and she had a run in her pantyhose.
*I wanna take you to a gay bar!
I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!*
Her boyfriend was a dick, and he didn't like her. She was too trashy, too fucked up on drugs and cigarettes and alcohol. She stomped around the house in stiletto heels to Electric Six or whatever those hipster bands were calling themselves nowadays.
*Let's start a war!*
So he fought with her, and she fought with him, and the walls of their cheap apartment in the F District of town shook with her drunken rage and his irritating impatience.
*Start a nuclear war!*
One night he grabbed her stash and threw her out. She only had three twenty dollar bills, some red lipstick, and a broken needle. Not very helpful. She made camp at her cousin's house.
Her cousin didn't want her there, and intended to ditch her very soon. So, knowing her love for all things strange and unusual, he took out to a gay bar.
*At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!*
As she marched right to the dance floor, stomping in her stiletto heels to the hipster-gay-punk band on stage with an apple martini in her hand, her cousin made his way to the back door, to his car, and out of her life.
And as she swung her long, thin brown around and around and in everyone else's face, she was being watched by a man in a long leather trenchcoat, who was fingering a red pill. Nobody knew that he went around the city for long periods of time, slipping red pills into people's food and freeing their minds.
She took a sip of her drink and examined the crowd. A gay bar wasn't as nearly as exciting as she thought it would be.
*Weeeeeow!
At the gay bar.*
The band was getting boring, and so she made her way back to get more drinks. She was down to her last forty dollars, but her cousin could be depended on to hook her up with some more cash. Speak of the devil...she realized he was gone.
*Now tell me do ya,
Do ya have any money?
I wanna spend all your money!*
She would deal with his insolence later, she wanted to get good and drunk now. She slapped down some more money, and another martini came her way. The man that she hadn't noticed took a seat next to her and said nothing. She looked at him, not expecting him to hit on her. He turned and smiled.
*At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!*
He nodded at her, and she nodded back. His hand glided quickly over her drink, and he quickly looked the other way. She was too drunk to notice that anything was in her drink, and she took a small sip. The band started playing something interesting again, and she grabbed her drink and went for the floor, to resume her stomping.
*I've got something to put in you,
I've got something to put in you,
I've got something to put in you,
At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.*
She downed the rest of her drink and threw the glass aside, not caring that she would probably have to pay for it. Her arms flailed, warning innocent bystanders to back away quickly. Her neck swung carelessly to the music, and her heels suffered again and again from her twirling and jumping.
Something felt wrong. Terribly wrong, and she grabbed her stomach. Somebody slipped something in her drink, but she didn't know what. She ran to the restroom and made her new home in a stall. She placed her face to the nice, cool toilet. "Oh dear porcelain, YOU are my only friend..."
She quickly examined her hand, and realized with shock that she could not see it. It was disappearing...SHE was disappearing. Holy shit...what was happening?
Her head snapped back, and she could've sworn she felt something scratch against her neck. Maybe, she thought, she was being taken by aliens. That'd be cool.
*You're a superstar, at the gay bar
You're a superstar, at the gay bar
You're a superstar, at the gay bar*
Finally, she was gone all completely. She had been unplugged in the restroom of a gay bar.
*Super, super, superstar...*
FIN.
------------------------
I'm not proud of this one, and I'm really going to need some serious concrit. None of this "wow Heavens to Bikini Kill, your name rocks and I like this fic!!!" Tell me what's wrong and how I should fix it. Please.
Oh yeah, this is supposed to have a hint of dark humor. Sorry if you don't get it.
a song fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill
disclaimers: The song "Gay Bar" is by Electric Six, and I don't own them, the song, or anything related to the Matrix. I own nothing! Are you happy?
---------------------
*Girl!
I wanna take you to a gay bar!*
Her hair was messy and thin. Her makeup smudged on her face, and she had a run in her pantyhose.
*I wanna take you to a gay bar!
I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!*
Her boyfriend was a dick, and he didn't like her. She was too trashy, too fucked up on drugs and cigarettes and alcohol. She stomped around the house in stiletto heels to Electric Six or whatever those hipster bands were calling themselves nowadays.
*Let's start a war!*
So he fought with her, and she fought with him, and the walls of their cheap apartment in the F District of town shook with her drunken rage and his irritating impatience.
*Start a nuclear war!*
One night he grabbed her stash and threw her out. She only had three twenty dollar bills, some red lipstick, and a broken needle. Not very helpful. She made camp at her cousin's house.
Her cousin didn't want her there, and intended to ditch her very soon. So, knowing her love for all things strange and unusual, he took out to a gay bar.
*At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!*
As she marched right to the dance floor, stomping in her stiletto heels to the hipster-gay-punk band on stage with an apple martini in her hand, her cousin made his way to the back door, to his car, and out of her life.
And as she swung her long, thin brown around and around and in everyone else's face, she was being watched by a man in a long leather trenchcoat, who was fingering a red pill. Nobody knew that he went around the city for long periods of time, slipping red pills into people's food and freeing their minds.
She took a sip of her drink and examined the crowd. A gay bar wasn't as nearly as exciting as she thought it would be.
*Weeeeeow!
At the gay bar.*
The band was getting boring, and so she made her way back to get more drinks. She was down to her last forty dollars, but her cousin could be depended on to hook her up with some more cash. Speak of the devil...she realized he was gone.
*Now tell me do ya,
Do ya have any money?
I wanna spend all your money!*
She would deal with his insolence later, she wanted to get good and drunk now. She slapped down some more money, and another martini came her way. The man that she hadn't noticed took a seat next to her and said nothing. She looked at him, not expecting him to hit on her. He turned and smiled.
*At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!*
He nodded at her, and she nodded back. His hand glided quickly over her drink, and he quickly looked the other way. She was too drunk to notice that anything was in her drink, and she took a small sip. The band started playing something interesting again, and she grabbed her drink and went for the floor, to resume her stomping.
*I've got something to put in you,
I've got something to put in you,
I've got something to put in you,
At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.*
She downed the rest of her drink and threw the glass aside, not caring that she would probably have to pay for it. Her arms flailed, warning innocent bystanders to back away quickly. Her neck swung carelessly to the music, and her heels suffered again and again from her twirling and jumping.
Something felt wrong. Terribly wrong, and she grabbed her stomach. Somebody slipped something in her drink, but she didn't know what. She ran to the restroom and made her new home in a stall. She placed her face to the nice, cool toilet. "Oh dear porcelain, YOU are my only friend..."
She quickly examined her hand, and realized with shock that she could not see it. It was disappearing...SHE was disappearing. Holy shit...what was happening?
Her head snapped back, and she could've sworn she felt something scratch against her neck. Maybe, she thought, she was being taken by aliens. That'd be cool.
*You're a superstar, at the gay bar
You're a superstar, at the gay bar
You're a superstar, at the gay bar*
Finally, she was gone all completely. She had been unplugged in the restroom of a gay bar.
*Super, super, superstar...*
FIN.
------------------------
I'm not proud of this one, and I'm really going to need some serious concrit. None of this "wow Heavens to Bikini Kill, your name rocks and I like this fic!!!" Tell me what's wrong and how I should fix it. Please.
Oh yeah, this is supposed to have a hint of dark humor. Sorry if you don't get it.
