15- "Interviews"


Greg awoke Taña with a cup of coffee and a kind smile. She was in the parking lot of the LVCL, and she saw the boat being towed into the garage and the rush of the chase got her up better than any cup of coffee. Grissom, Taña and Greg made their way to interrogation.

"Okay, Vivica is in interrogation room #1. Taña gets that one. Jeremy is in Interrogation room #2, Greg and I will question him. What are you doing?"

He looked at Taña, who had her finger on her nose, "I was expecting 'Nose Goes.'"

Grissom rolled his eyes and walked over to room #2, followed by Greg, as Taña headed into room #1. The interrogations had begun.

--

SUSPECT #1: Vivica Livingston

"He's seventeen years old. He's a big boy now. And I mean that in more than one way. You follow me, Agent?"

"Okay, thank you for the over-share, Mrs. Livingston."

--

SUSPECT #2: Jeremy Livingston

"She's not really my mother. She's twelve years older than me; so what? I love her and she loves me. After I graduate we are going to get married. She told me this herself. Age is just a number. 69, for instance."

--

SUSPECT #1: Vivica Livingston

"So, you bust in on our vacation to catch me for statutory rape. Trust me, that won't fly; I asked my lawyer. Jeremy was very... how you say... consensual. Go on- charge me. I'll be out in time to watch 'Law and Order.'"

"Mrs. Livingston? Do us both a favor and stop thinking about sex. We were thinking along the lines of murder."

--

SUSPECT #2: Jeremy Livingston

"Murder?!I thought we were over this. I did not kill my father- trust me."

"A lot more killers would go free if we trusted everyone who told us to, Mr. Livingston. Trust us on that one."

--

SUSPECT #1: Vivica Livingston

"On our Bowflex? We were going to throw that thing out; I always told Jack he worked too hard."

"The amount of blood we found was very significant; blood on the Blowflex, blood on the ground underneath your bear throw rug..."

"He fell down the stairs."

"Mrs. Livingston, please. Your bear throw rug upstairs."

"Oh."

--

SUSPECT #2: Jeremy Livingston

"I swear... I didn't... oh God... no... I didn't do anything... I got home, and I knew Dad knew about Viv and I.... so I threw him across the room... and he accidentally hit the Bowflex... there was so much blood..."

"Uh, can we get a box of tissues in here? Or three?"

--

SUSPECT #1: Vivica Livingston

"That bastard was screwing some lady! What was I supposed to do?"

"Have sex with his son? Please, Mrs. Livingston, I am far beyond sympathizing with you."

"Okay, I had just gotten home from work and went upstairs... there was blood everywhere... Jeremy said he needed to do it, that Jack had found out about us... He's crazy about us."

"How did you find out about the affair?"

--

SUSPECT #2: Jeremy Livingston

"She hired some crackpot private investigator. That guy was crazy, but told Mom-Viv- that Dad was screwing some zookeeper."

--

SUSPECT #1: Vivica Livingston

"Private O' Hare was very good. He came highly recommended. He was good. Very good."

"In bed?"

"Don't stereotype me, Agent."

"Not good for the pores?"

"So maybe a couple of times- but it was all for the work."

"Of course it was, Mrs. Robinson. Livingston. I mean Livingston."

--

SUSPECT #2: Jeremy Livingston

"She slept with him? That good for nothing slut of a mother! She told me to take the blame, but she killed him, I swear! I had gotten home from school and she told me he was drunk and had threatened to divorce her so she slammed him into the Bowflex, I swear to God."

--

SUSPECT #3: Private Investigator Ralph O' Hare

"Vivica Livingston? Oh, how could I forget her? Hired me to follow her good for nothing husband, paid very well, might I add. Very well. Very, very well."

"Right. Mr. O' Hare-"

"Investigator O' Hare."

"That's not what the... lemme see here... 'School of Investigations and Evidence' tells us. Considering there is no such thing. What does that do to your degree?"

"Fine, I'll talk. Mr. Livingston was screwing a zookeeper. That's what a told her, and that's what I saw."

"Does this zookeeper have a name?"

"I dunno. Sara something. Smithers? No... like, Sara Slunk."

"You mean Sidle?"

"That's it!"

--

SUSPECT #4: Sara Sidle

"Agent Szmerka, is this a joke?"

"Definitely not."

"Agent Szmerka, I don't even know a Jack Livingston, nevertheless was carrying on an illicit relationship."

--

SUSPECT #3: Ralph O' Hare

"Yeah right. She was screwing him like a carpenter screws a nail."

"You don't screw a nail. You screw a screw, and nail a nail."

"You can hammer a nail."

"MR. O' HARE. PLEASE focus. As such of a highly skilled private investigator you are, I'm sure you are aware that the woman you are accusing is a former CSI, and we have this habit of favoring her story over the story of a fake private investigator."

"Fine. Wanna know the truth?"

"No, Mr. O' Hare, I would really prefer it if you lied to us."

"Mr. Livingston was as clean as a schoolboy with a crush. But, I had to make up stories."

"Why?"

"You and I both know, as investigators that we rarely get paid with sex."

"He's right. At the bureau, we get paid with goats. You have to be with the FBI for at least six years before they start paying you with young, Iranian virgins."

"... so, I noted that he kept returning to the Zoo to gawk at this zookeeper. I pulled a few strings-"

"G strings?"

"- and found out her name. I told Mrs. Livingston, batta-bing, best sex ever."

"And then what?"

--

SUSPECT #1: Vivica Livingston

"So, he lied to me? That sonofabitch! So I killed him for nothing? And took all the trouble of dumping the body into that dolphin tank to scare that zookeeper slut for nothing?!"

"You what?"

"Uh... I mean..."

--

CASE CLOSED


"Well, was that not the oddest case of sex, greed, incest, private investigation and murder you've have ever heard of?" Taña asked, as they were packing away the evidence.

"Yeah," Greg noted. "Maybe we should write a book about it."


"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

-Woody Allen