"Well darlin its been three years, sorry that I am so late on talking with
ya but it hurts to damn much. I can't talk good when there is a lump in my
throat and tears in my eyes.
There is so much that I want to tell you and I don't know where to start.
Oh I guess you want to know about my job and how I am doing uh? Well I am a
peacemaker in Four Corners, yeah I serve the justice to that town. There is
six other brave men that follow my lead. Lead? yeah they call me their
leader. Ole Buck is still hanging with me. I really don't know why, after
the way I treated him after you and Adam died. He was always there to pick
me up after a fight that I had gotten into or to bail my sorry hide out of
jail. He always knew to leave me alone when I was in one of those dark
moods. But when I woke up with a hangover from hell , he would be there.
You know Sarah, Buck takes your death hard also, but not as hard as me
though. He holds his hurt in better than I do, he tried to be strong for
me, but when we were her no to long ago I could see the hurt in that man's
eyes and he wants revenge as much as I do.
But you know Ole Buck always lands on his feet somewhere or another.
My Sharpshooter Vin Tanner sure is something else. He was a x-bounty hunter
with a pretty price on his own head. I really don't know how we stay around
each other, we are so damn much alike it ain't even funny. The other's say
that I am like a mother hen, funny uh?
You know Sarah I don't think I could go on living without these guys , they
show me that I have to live on each and everyday. Just the other day JD
told me that when he lost his mother that he didn't think he could live on,
so that boy moved out west for a little change, yeah you should see JD
Dunne. He is no more than twenty and I really don't think that he is even
that old. He is growing up way to fast. He as found a mother in Buck. Buck
worries over that kid more than a mother would I think. Everyday comes
without fail and I keep telling JD he as six best friends to live for.
Maybe I tell him that to tell myself. I guess sometimes I need to listen to
my own advice.
But dammit I can't let go of what happened and what I could have done.
Nathan Jackson is our healer. One of us is always needing that man.hell if
we sneeze wrong he's there making us drink that awful tea. What would we do
without that man? I know one thing for sure I wouldn't be breaking up the
little spats Nathan and Ezra as.
Ezra, boy just saying that name makes my head throb. Ezra Standish is the
only man I know that can make that vain in my forehead show. Ezra is one
hell of a character, he could con a conman
Sarah you would really love all my boys, listen to me boys? Hell Josiah
Sanchez could be my father, That man as been a father to us all, since JD
never knew his father and neither did Buck, which you know that and Ezra's
father died when he was five years old. All my men come from a hard past.
Josiah is an x-preacher and knows just what to say to anyone at a time of
need and he is always watching for those damn crows. But Josiah sure can
get old testament at times, that is the reason I love that old man so much.
He can bring out the best in a person.
Sarah I want you to know how much I miss you and Adam. How is Adam, Sarah?
Please tell him I love him very much and his papa will be there in time,
but for right now I am thinking of him each and every day. Please just take
him into your arms and hold him tightly for me.
Rock him to sleep and tell him his papa is waiting til the day I can hold
and rock him to sleep like I use to. Please tell him that I will never
forget him, and Sarah I will never forget you.
Sarah I gotta run and make some peace. Will you tell JD's mama that he is
well taken care of and will all of you keep watch over us all. God knows we
need angels like you.
I love you both and like I said please remember that I will never forget.
"Ya ready pard?"
"Yeah Buck let's ride!!"
