Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS, BUT I DO OWN THE GAME. NOT THE STUPID DOORS OR COPYRIGHT, OTHERWISE I'D DO SOMETHING MORE CREATIVE.

The Intro, And A Bad Soundtrack

Sora drifted. He was having some strange thoughts. He was starting to doubt things, like his island. Riku seemed so far off, and Kairi... no, let's not think about Kairi. Now he doubted even more where he was. It felt like falling only through water. He opened his eyes. Then the music started.

He screamed. My God!, he thought, Where the hell did that come from?!?! Music was filling his head. On the Destiny Islands, the most popular music was made from steel drums and was light and pleasant. The music he was being subjected to sounded like a strangled octopus trying to play a crushed tuba at the bottom of a well. He screamed again.

By ripping off two pieces of his shirt and stuffing them in his ears, Sora managed to escape instant death. He fell a little while longer. If you asked him later, he would tell you that he fell for long enough to take a nap. This is not true. He actually took three naps and played a game of smash the paopu, but he was asleep and couldn't tell.

A blinding flash filled Sora's world. He landed on his head in the middle of a beach. After he pulled his head out of the sand, he looked around. He was on an island surrounds my clear blue seas and teeming with palms. Deftly, and almost too quickly he pulls a pair of sun glasses out of his pocket, and stabbed himself in the eye. After several tries and a few minutes of running in circles cursing, he managed to get them on.

He looked out to the ocean. Then he sighed and started wading in. His thoughts ran something like this: That stupid Riku, he's done it again. Went into the water for a swim and forgot how to walk half-way out....I'd better go get him. Dammit, he's wearing those stupid pants again, also.

Sure enough, there was another boy standing in the water. He has silvery hair that reflected the water. For some reason known only to him, he was wearing blue chaps that puffed out obscenely at the bottom. He turned around and Sora thought: Nuts, he remembered already and I've waded in enough to make it look like I wet myself. Then he noticed the wave. Riku (the blue-pants one) stuck his hand out to Sora. "No way," shouted Sora, "I'm not going any closer to that wave than I have to!" and ran towards shore. Riku, feeling very sad about this, curled up into a fetal position and started to cry. The wave washed over them both, anyway.

When Sora surfaced, it was nighttime. He looked to the beach and saw Kairi, who apparently had had a few drinks and was gibbering at the sky. "Sora, look out!" she shouted. "You're falling from the sky!" Sora turned the last few words over in his mind. He was about to come back with a snappy response when he got hit in the head by (who else?) himself. He passed out.

When he woke up, he was face down in a crater in a stained-glass window with lots and lots of birds pooping on his head. The music stopped.