Disclaimer: I now have a very cool pirate T-shirt that I bought at the
Flogging Molly concert, but still no assassins. Quotes were found in
various sources that I don't want to name, might be taken out of context.
Review, you don't want to make the pygmies cry do you?
Chapter 2: Homozygous (a perfect ass)
"Having two identical haves of the same...affects the appearance of the organism"
I really can't be too upset about the failure of plan A. I really didn't expect him to get over years of homophobic conditioning in two hours and ravage me on the ground in the park. As nice as that would have been.
Karma has decided to cut me a break. Ken and Omi are still fighting so I don't have to worry about walking in on them all the time (how they kept their secret this long I have no idea,) Yoji decided the thing at the park was a fluke and he's back to normal, and Momoe-san had a mild heart-attack Saturday morning so Yoji is taking all of her shifts which means he opens with Omi and Ken, leaving me much needed plotting time (don't worry, Momoe- san is all right. Out of the hospital all ready but she's been staying with her sister. Ken still seems concerned though. He keeps sending Omi with candy and flowers, )
It's my daily brooding time, but I am just in too good of a mood today. Even if he ran, at least I know I affected Yoji. And I'm not so impatient to get him in bed that I can't enjoy my little victories.
It's really not so much about getting him in bed at all. I've never really been interested in sex. I would be perfectly happy being very close friends without the sex, provided he didn't sleep with anyone else. That's what brought on this temporary insanity I seem to have.
I remember the exact minute I fell in love with him, but at the same time it wasn't a lighting flash, everything happing at once kind of thing. When we met I hated him. He was the self-indulgent lifestyle. I was certain he would end up getting us all killed eventually.
Getting to like him was a gradual thing. He wants to be friends with everyone so he started deliberately worming his way into my heart. Eventually I realized I didn't hate him as much as I thought I did, and then I decided he wasn't so bad to talk too. And then one morning, I was sitting in the kitchen brooding and he came in with his bed-tousled hair and shot me a grin...and I wanted to grin back. I didn't of course, but that was the first time I could remember having a genuine urge to smile since the whole mess with Takatori started.
When we were Weiss, he actually very rarely entertained females. Besides, I was too obsessed to notice his occasional fling, but now he has more time for women. Now that I have nothing to obsess over but Yoji's many conquests, it's bothering me a lot more. It's not so much that I don't want him to get any action as it is they don't deserve him.
Yoji is actually very cultured, despite his deplorable fashion sense and his gutter-mind. He has read just about every book worth reading and he sucks the stuff up like a sponge. He can cook, dance, paint, and identify different wines.
I personally don't understand the clothes. It's like someone took James Bond and then tortured him mercilessly by pulling out his toenails and making him watch movies staring singers that can't act until his mind was pliable and he thought dressing like Brittany Spears was a good idea.
The point is, most of the girls he dates wouldn't know a 1969 Château Latour[1] from a can of domestic beer.
*Dramatization*
YOJI: Oh Random Slutty Girl, I can see all of the cosmos reflected in those beautiful eyes.
RSG: Cosmo? You mean like the magazine? I don't get it.
YOJI: It was a bad pick up line, designed to make you desire a night of meaningless sex from yours truly.
RSG: You mean it Yoji? Are you truly mine?
YOJI: Will you sleep with me?
RSG: Of course, I was planning to anyway.
YOJI: Then yes, I am yours for as long as it takes me to get off and get out.
RSG: Let's go back to my place so I can slip into something a little more slutty.
YOJI: No, I have suddenly realized that I no longer want this meaningless sex, I want a true relationship with the one I love.
RSG: Me?!!?!?! (RSG has big hearts for eyes)
YOJI: No, in truth, I love Ran. He is my prince charming. I am so grateful to him for making me see my homosexual tendencies. Come Ran, let us close the shop and retire to my boudoir where I will ravage you, making you scream in ecstasy for the next several hours.
RAN: Hands off Kudou, it's only noon, we can have sex after work.
YOJI: Please Ran? I don't think I can stand so close to you for another second without ripping off all of your clothes and throwing you on the counter. I want to make you mine in every possible way. Please let me taste you.
RAN: EVERYBODY OUT, THE STORE IS CLOSING EARLY TODAY.
YOJI: You okay Aya?
RAN: Hn?
YOJI: You've been watering the table for about ten minutes and then you scared all of our customers out when it's still six hours until closing. I don't mind the extra time, but it's not like you.
RAN: Hn.
You know what sucks? He used his free afternoon to go have sex with the slutbomb that set off that rather embarrassing episode.
Back to the old drawing board.
-----
Plan B involves more then random groping. I plan to adopt a method similar to the women that are constantly flaunting themselves at him, though not quite so obvious.
I watched them for several days, learning their tricks. They flip there hair a lot, but there is no way I'm doing that. They are constantly touching him, but I don't like casual contact so that might make him suspicious. They flaunt their chests at him, but I somehow doubt that will have the same effect coming from me. Really the only thing I have in common with his preferred prey is my ass.
Luckily I have a great ass if I do say so myself. It is the only part of my body with any fat, just enough to make two identical handfuls.
Plan B requires jeans and a black t-shirt. I assign myself the task of repotting the azaleas at the front of the store and tell Yoji to mind the register so his direct line of sight will face me.
I get down on all fours and start potting. I make sure I sway a little, just enough to look seductive. Every once in a while I stretch, letting the bottom of my T-shirt ride up a few inches. I'm starting to get into this. I resist the urge to look back and see how I'm doing.
I can hear Yoji's voice while he speaks to the customers. It cracked once. I grinned evilly.
The repotting takes two hours. When I'm done I stand slowly and languidly rub my dirty hands clean on my jeans, slowly sliding them from my hips down to my knees and then back up, resting them on my ass for a second with my thumbs hooked into my waistband. I slowly turn around, all ready to smirk seductively at Yoji. Instead of Yoji I see four drooling fan-girls and a smirking Ken.
RAN: Don't you have a class to teach?
KEN: I came home during my free period and Yoji offered me 20,000 yen ($200?) if I would take over the register and let him substitute teach my classes for the rest of the day. (Ken actually laughing now)
RAN: (evil glare and almost inaudible growl, walks off)
KEN: Hey, where are you going? It's almost time for the daily rush.
RAN: Deal with it.
This isn't going to work if Yoji keeps running off before he can be overcome with passion. There is no way I'm going to just come out to him and confess my love. That would be extremely off character.
-----------------------
Review, you don't want to make the pygmies cry do you?
Chapter 2: Homozygous (a perfect ass)
"Having two identical haves of the same...affects the appearance of the organism"
I really can't be too upset about the failure of plan A. I really didn't expect him to get over years of homophobic conditioning in two hours and ravage me on the ground in the park. As nice as that would have been.
Karma has decided to cut me a break. Ken and Omi are still fighting so I don't have to worry about walking in on them all the time (how they kept their secret this long I have no idea,) Yoji decided the thing at the park was a fluke and he's back to normal, and Momoe-san had a mild heart-attack Saturday morning so Yoji is taking all of her shifts which means he opens with Omi and Ken, leaving me much needed plotting time (don't worry, Momoe- san is all right. Out of the hospital all ready but she's been staying with her sister. Ken still seems concerned though. He keeps sending Omi with candy and flowers, )
It's my daily brooding time, but I am just in too good of a mood today. Even if he ran, at least I know I affected Yoji. And I'm not so impatient to get him in bed that I can't enjoy my little victories.
It's really not so much about getting him in bed at all. I've never really been interested in sex. I would be perfectly happy being very close friends without the sex, provided he didn't sleep with anyone else. That's what brought on this temporary insanity I seem to have.
I remember the exact minute I fell in love with him, but at the same time it wasn't a lighting flash, everything happing at once kind of thing. When we met I hated him. He was the self-indulgent lifestyle. I was certain he would end up getting us all killed eventually.
Getting to like him was a gradual thing. He wants to be friends with everyone so he started deliberately worming his way into my heart. Eventually I realized I didn't hate him as much as I thought I did, and then I decided he wasn't so bad to talk too. And then one morning, I was sitting in the kitchen brooding and he came in with his bed-tousled hair and shot me a grin...and I wanted to grin back. I didn't of course, but that was the first time I could remember having a genuine urge to smile since the whole mess with Takatori started.
When we were Weiss, he actually very rarely entertained females. Besides, I was too obsessed to notice his occasional fling, but now he has more time for women. Now that I have nothing to obsess over but Yoji's many conquests, it's bothering me a lot more. It's not so much that I don't want him to get any action as it is they don't deserve him.
Yoji is actually very cultured, despite his deplorable fashion sense and his gutter-mind. He has read just about every book worth reading and he sucks the stuff up like a sponge. He can cook, dance, paint, and identify different wines.
I personally don't understand the clothes. It's like someone took James Bond and then tortured him mercilessly by pulling out his toenails and making him watch movies staring singers that can't act until his mind was pliable and he thought dressing like Brittany Spears was a good idea.
The point is, most of the girls he dates wouldn't know a 1969 Château Latour[1] from a can of domestic beer.
*Dramatization*
YOJI: Oh Random Slutty Girl, I can see all of the cosmos reflected in those beautiful eyes.
RSG: Cosmo? You mean like the magazine? I don't get it.
YOJI: It was a bad pick up line, designed to make you desire a night of meaningless sex from yours truly.
RSG: You mean it Yoji? Are you truly mine?
YOJI: Will you sleep with me?
RSG: Of course, I was planning to anyway.
YOJI: Then yes, I am yours for as long as it takes me to get off and get out.
RSG: Let's go back to my place so I can slip into something a little more slutty.
YOJI: No, I have suddenly realized that I no longer want this meaningless sex, I want a true relationship with the one I love.
RSG: Me?!!?!?! (RSG has big hearts for eyes)
YOJI: No, in truth, I love Ran. He is my prince charming. I am so grateful to him for making me see my homosexual tendencies. Come Ran, let us close the shop and retire to my boudoir where I will ravage you, making you scream in ecstasy for the next several hours.
RAN: Hands off Kudou, it's only noon, we can have sex after work.
YOJI: Please Ran? I don't think I can stand so close to you for another second without ripping off all of your clothes and throwing you on the counter. I want to make you mine in every possible way. Please let me taste you.
RAN: EVERYBODY OUT, THE STORE IS CLOSING EARLY TODAY.
YOJI: You okay Aya?
RAN: Hn?
YOJI: You've been watering the table for about ten minutes and then you scared all of our customers out when it's still six hours until closing. I don't mind the extra time, but it's not like you.
RAN: Hn.
You know what sucks? He used his free afternoon to go have sex with the slutbomb that set off that rather embarrassing episode.
Back to the old drawing board.
-----
Plan B involves more then random groping. I plan to adopt a method similar to the women that are constantly flaunting themselves at him, though not quite so obvious.
I watched them for several days, learning their tricks. They flip there hair a lot, but there is no way I'm doing that. They are constantly touching him, but I don't like casual contact so that might make him suspicious. They flaunt their chests at him, but I somehow doubt that will have the same effect coming from me. Really the only thing I have in common with his preferred prey is my ass.
Luckily I have a great ass if I do say so myself. It is the only part of my body with any fat, just enough to make two identical handfuls.
Plan B requires jeans and a black t-shirt. I assign myself the task of repotting the azaleas at the front of the store and tell Yoji to mind the register so his direct line of sight will face me.
I get down on all fours and start potting. I make sure I sway a little, just enough to look seductive. Every once in a while I stretch, letting the bottom of my T-shirt ride up a few inches. I'm starting to get into this. I resist the urge to look back and see how I'm doing.
I can hear Yoji's voice while he speaks to the customers. It cracked once. I grinned evilly.
The repotting takes two hours. When I'm done I stand slowly and languidly rub my dirty hands clean on my jeans, slowly sliding them from my hips down to my knees and then back up, resting them on my ass for a second with my thumbs hooked into my waistband. I slowly turn around, all ready to smirk seductively at Yoji. Instead of Yoji I see four drooling fan-girls and a smirking Ken.
RAN: Don't you have a class to teach?
KEN: I came home during my free period and Yoji offered me 20,000 yen ($200?) if I would take over the register and let him substitute teach my classes for the rest of the day. (Ken actually laughing now)
RAN: (evil glare and almost inaudible growl, walks off)
KEN: Hey, where are you going? It's almost time for the daily rush.
RAN: Deal with it.
This isn't going to work if Yoji keeps running off before he can be overcome with passion. There is no way I'm going to just come out to him and confess my love. That would be extremely off character.
-----------------------
