Chapter 1: Vice – Versa
It was New Years and most of the Souma's were invited to Shigure's house for New Years dinner. There was Hatsuharu, Kisa, Momiji, Hiro, Ritsu, and of course Tohru, Yuki, Kyou, and Shigure. Everyone was having a blast... well, kinda...
Kyou: I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT YOU STUPID MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yuki: You take too long in the washroom, baka neko! What were you doing in there anyway?!?!
Kyou: .
.
.
MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS!!!
Yuki: Funny you should mention that because there's a terribly bad aroma on the second floor.
Kyou: .
.
.
*temperature rising*
Hiro: Oy, do you mind! You know it's very hard to watch Jerry Springer with all this noise! Kisa is already a mute she doesn't need to be deaf!
Kyou: HOW DARE YOU TALK TO YOUR ELDERS THIS WAY!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!
Kyou drags Hiro upstairs to the washroom, stuffed his head in the toilet, aaaaaand................... ROUND AND ROUND IT GOES AND ROUND AND ROUND IT GOES!
Hiro: ~gag~odor~gag~must breath~fresh air~or will~SUFFACATE!!!~
Kyou: *grin* MUAHAHAHAHAHA!! Tell me, how many times must I remind you who I am!?!!!
Hiro: 1753 times sir... *gag*... I lost track somewhere between the thousands... *cough*...
Kyou: So! Now we know not to do it again right?
Hiro: Yes sir... *gag*... *face turns green*... X_X
Kyou: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 'DA POWA!!!!
In the corner, you catch Hatsuharu leaning against the wall acting all cool and casual and Momiji jumping around and singing his Teru Teru Momiji song.
White Haru: Please Momiji settle down.
Momiji: "Yuhi you yamani Teru-Teru Momiji Kaeru yatokage ga Kon'nichi wa"
Come on Haru-san! SING WITH ME! =^_^=
White Haru: Please don't Momiji...
Momiji: TOGETHER NOW! "Yuhi you yamani Teru-Teru Momiji Kaeru yatokage ga Kon'nichi wa,
Koi no arai Tabu no ko umani"
White Haru: . . . . . .
Momiji: AGAIN! =^_^= "Yuhi you yamani Teru-Teru Momiji Kaeru yatokage ga Kon'nichi wa"
Koi no arai Tabu n-- "
Black Haru: SIT DOWN, SHUTUP OR I'LL BLOW YA ARMS AND LEGS OFF!
Momiji: *Crying his eyes out* Wahhhhhhhhh! *Runs to Shigure* Haru's bullying me! *sniff*
Shigure: How many times did I...
White Haru: IT WASN'T ME!!!!!!!!
Shigure: *rolls his eyes and walks in the kitchen* Tohru-kun, when are we gonna have dinner?
Tohru: Patience is a virtue.
Shigure: You said that last time when I had to line up for the washroom and ending up weting my pants....
Kyou: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Seriously? That really happened? AHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh man, can't believe I missed it!! *tears formimg in his eyes* AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Shigure: GET OUT!
Kyou: *slowly walks away with his tail between his legs*
Shigure: So Tohru, you were saying.....
Tohru: Futomaki, Hosomaki, Temaki, Uramaki, Kazarimaki, Chicken Teriyaki, and Miso soup.
Shigure: *Drools all over his kimono and then bumps into Ritsu*
Ritsu: *The knife he was carrying accidentally cuts the top of Shigure's hair off. * O_O;; GOMEN! GOMEN NASAI! GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT! I AM SO UNWORTHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME SHAVE THE REST OF YOUR HAIR OFF SO IT.........
Shigure: *already gone*
~ * 20 minutes later * ~
Everyone gathered, sat down, and waited for the food to arrive on the table.
~ * 1 hour later * ~
Tohru: It's ready!
Kyou: WHAT TOOK YOU!?
Tohru: Sorry, I... *shows everyone the huge bruise on her head*
Everyone: O_O
Yuki: What... happened!?
Tohru: I am so sorry to make you all worried about me! I am so clumsy...
Everyone: . . .
Tohru: While I was cooking I dropped the pan on the floor, I stepped on the handle and it flew up in the air a-and... yeah... that's what happened...
Shigure: *cracks up* HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA HA HAHAHAHA!!!!
~ * 15 minutes mater * ~
The food was finally ready and the Souma's took a little bit of everything and then unexpectedly...
Momiji: *spits out food* What kind of crap is this?!? I HAVE NEVER EATEN ANYTHING THAT TASTED SO DAMN BAD!!!
Tohru: *GASP*
Kyou: What are you talking about Momiji? This stuff is great! Don't you agree my love? *Blink blink blink*
Yuki: I certainly do. *Shine*
Everyone: O_O;
Kisa: Urg! I am way too cool for you people so c ya boys and gurlz. *Goes upstairs*
Hiro: OMG! Did she like just talk? Dude, that is like so totally weird!
Everyone: O_o;
White Haru: Hiro, please stop talking like that. It is very abnormal...
Black Haru: *Gasp* HE'S TRANSEXUAL!!!
White Haru: That was very mean of you! Take everything you said back!
Black Haru: Not until the day, my brother drowns his fish!
Everyone: -_-; (You can't drowned a fish and you have no brother) -_-;
Shigure: Am I the only person who wasn't infected?
Tohru: *thinking in her head* What is wrong with these people? They're so... ODD!
Tohru: I think I'm gonna.... *runs out the front door*
~ * End Flashback * ~
Tohru: That's how it all started.
Psychiatrist: InTeReStInG, very interesting. *Scribbles on his notepad* so tell me in the past did you abuse them in anyway?
Tohru: Of course I didn't! I was their clean-up service, their garbage woman, their cook and maid.
Psychiatrist: I see. So basically you did everything for them am I correct.
Tohru: Well... yeah.
Psychiatrist: What were you doing before this all happened?
Tohru: I was cooking dinner.
Psychiatrist: What were your ingredients?
Tohru: Um... raw fish, cucumbers, avocados... oh there was also steroids and heroin Hiro stole from some of the hobos on the street. Eye of newt, cobwebs and...oh oh some dust bunnies I found under the couch. You gotta admit they really bring out the taste. =^_^=
Psychiatrist: Well that explained a lot. Seems to me that your friends have their personality vice-versa.
Tohru: Vice- versa?
Psychiatrist: ... opposite.
Tohru: Oh, so I'm not hallucinating?
Psychiatrist: No you're not.
Tohru: How can I find a cure for them?
Psychiatrist: Well, for a start you can ask a doctor.
Tohru: Thank-you very much Mr--
Psychiatrist: --Bubbles...
Tohru: Mr. Bubbles...that's a very strange—
Psychiatrist: Yes I know. I was named after my great great grandfather which was named after my great grandfather which was named after my grandfather which was named after my father and is now passed on to me and named after my son and will be the named after my grandsons and great grandsons and so on and so forth...
Tohru: Oh wow..... what a family history...... all of my ancestors and relatives were all burned down because the people found out they were witches....
Mr. Bubbles: I see where all the genes come from.... -_-;;
Tohru: Well anyways.... good-bye and thank-you Mr. Bubbles! *waves*
~ * Tohru is now at Hotori's house. * ~
Tohru: So do you have a cure for them?
Hotori: First we have to confirm with Akito-san just to let him know.
Tohru: *gulp*
~ * Akito's house *~
Hotori: *Knocks on the door*
?: Yes?
Hotori: Hello Mrs.... by the looks of you... wrinkly, old and ugly. Mrs. Wrinkly-Old-and-Ugly Woman we would like to speak with Akito-san.
Wrinkly-Old-and-Ugly Woman: Come in come in.
~ * Akito's room *~
Hotori: Akito...
Akito: *dances around like a lunatic* Lalalalala I'm crazy I'm crazy he he he he he. I like peanut butter with popcorn! Do you like peanut butter with popcorn? He he he! Lalalalala! * Slips on his kimono and falls into a hole in the ground* ... I'm OK.
~ * 1 hour later * ~
Akito: *Sitting on a wheelchair with a cast* WhY HaVe YoU CoMe HeRe ToDaY?
In the background, you here crickets.
Wrinkly-Old-and-Ugly Woman: They have already left sir.
Akito: .........I'M GONNA KILL THEM!!! Hehehehehehehe. *Continues to dance around and crashes through the wall*
~ * Shigure's House * ~
Tohru: Brace yourself Hotori!
Opens the door and finds Shigure tied up above a boiling hot cauldron, Momiji dancing around like an India, Hiro trying to put on make- up and lipstick, Ritsu sitting on the couch reading pretending nothing even happened, Kyou and Yuki flirting in the corner, Haru and his other half arguing whether they should put jelly on bread instead butter.
Tohru & Hotori: O_O
Shigure: HELP ME BEFORE HE-- *Plop! Falls into the boiling hot water*
Momiji: MOUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
PLEAZE REVIEW!!! ^_^
It was New Years and most of the Souma's were invited to Shigure's house for New Years dinner. There was Hatsuharu, Kisa, Momiji, Hiro, Ritsu, and of course Tohru, Yuki, Kyou, and Shigure. Everyone was having a blast... well, kinda...
Kyou: I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT YOU STUPID MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yuki: You take too long in the washroom, baka neko! What were you doing in there anyway?!?!
Kyou: .
.
.
MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS!!!
Yuki: Funny you should mention that because there's a terribly bad aroma on the second floor.
Kyou: .
.
.
*temperature rising*
Hiro: Oy, do you mind! You know it's very hard to watch Jerry Springer with all this noise! Kisa is already a mute she doesn't need to be deaf!
Kyou: HOW DARE YOU TALK TO YOUR ELDERS THIS WAY!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!
Kyou drags Hiro upstairs to the washroom, stuffed his head in the toilet, aaaaaand................... ROUND AND ROUND IT GOES AND ROUND AND ROUND IT GOES!
Hiro: ~gag~odor~gag~must breath~fresh air~or will~SUFFACATE!!!~
Kyou: *grin* MUAHAHAHAHAHA!! Tell me, how many times must I remind you who I am!?!!!
Hiro: 1753 times sir... *gag*... I lost track somewhere between the thousands... *cough*...
Kyou: So! Now we know not to do it again right?
Hiro: Yes sir... *gag*... *face turns green*... X_X
Kyou: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 'DA POWA!!!!
In the corner, you catch Hatsuharu leaning against the wall acting all cool and casual and Momiji jumping around and singing his Teru Teru Momiji song.
White Haru: Please Momiji settle down.
Momiji: "Yuhi you yamani Teru-Teru Momiji Kaeru yatokage ga Kon'nichi wa"
Come on Haru-san! SING WITH ME! =^_^=
White Haru: Please don't Momiji...
Momiji: TOGETHER NOW! "Yuhi you yamani Teru-Teru Momiji Kaeru yatokage ga Kon'nichi wa,
Koi no arai Tabu no ko umani"
White Haru: . . . . . .
Momiji: AGAIN! =^_^= "Yuhi you yamani Teru-Teru Momiji Kaeru yatokage ga Kon'nichi wa"
Koi no arai Tabu n-- "
Black Haru: SIT DOWN, SHUTUP OR I'LL BLOW YA ARMS AND LEGS OFF!
Momiji: *Crying his eyes out* Wahhhhhhhhh! *Runs to Shigure* Haru's bullying me! *sniff*
Shigure: How many times did I...
White Haru: IT WASN'T ME!!!!!!!!
Shigure: *rolls his eyes and walks in the kitchen* Tohru-kun, when are we gonna have dinner?
Tohru: Patience is a virtue.
Shigure: You said that last time when I had to line up for the washroom and ending up weting my pants....
Kyou: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Seriously? That really happened? AHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh man, can't believe I missed it!! *tears formimg in his eyes* AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Shigure: GET OUT!
Kyou: *slowly walks away with his tail between his legs*
Shigure: So Tohru, you were saying.....
Tohru: Futomaki, Hosomaki, Temaki, Uramaki, Kazarimaki, Chicken Teriyaki, and Miso soup.
Shigure: *Drools all over his kimono and then bumps into Ritsu*
Ritsu: *The knife he was carrying accidentally cuts the top of Shigure's hair off. * O_O;; GOMEN! GOMEN NASAI! GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT! I AM SO UNWORTHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME SHAVE THE REST OF YOUR HAIR OFF SO IT.........
Shigure: *already gone*
~ * 20 minutes later * ~
Everyone gathered, sat down, and waited for the food to arrive on the table.
~ * 1 hour later * ~
Tohru: It's ready!
Kyou: WHAT TOOK YOU!?
Tohru: Sorry, I... *shows everyone the huge bruise on her head*
Everyone: O_O
Yuki: What... happened!?
Tohru: I am so sorry to make you all worried about me! I am so clumsy...
Everyone: . . .
Tohru: While I was cooking I dropped the pan on the floor, I stepped on the handle and it flew up in the air a-and... yeah... that's what happened...
Shigure: *cracks up* HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA HA HAHAHAHA!!!!
~ * 15 minutes mater * ~
The food was finally ready and the Souma's took a little bit of everything and then unexpectedly...
Momiji: *spits out food* What kind of crap is this?!? I HAVE NEVER EATEN ANYTHING THAT TASTED SO DAMN BAD!!!
Tohru: *GASP*
Kyou: What are you talking about Momiji? This stuff is great! Don't you agree my love? *Blink blink blink*
Yuki: I certainly do. *Shine*
Everyone: O_O;
Kisa: Urg! I am way too cool for you people so c ya boys and gurlz. *Goes upstairs*
Hiro: OMG! Did she like just talk? Dude, that is like so totally weird!
Everyone: O_o;
White Haru: Hiro, please stop talking like that. It is very abnormal...
Black Haru: *Gasp* HE'S TRANSEXUAL!!!
White Haru: That was very mean of you! Take everything you said back!
Black Haru: Not until the day, my brother drowns his fish!
Everyone: -_-; (You can't drowned a fish and you have no brother) -_-;
Shigure: Am I the only person who wasn't infected?
Tohru: *thinking in her head* What is wrong with these people? They're so... ODD!
Tohru: I think I'm gonna.... *runs out the front door*
~ * End Flashback * ~
Tohru: That's how it all started.
Psychiatrist: InTeReStInG, very interesting. *Scribbles on his notepad* so tell me in the past did you abuse them in anyway?
Tohru: Of course I didn't! I was their clean-up service, their garbage woman, their cook and maid.
Psychiatrist: I see. So basically you did everything for them am I correct.
Tohru: Well... yeah.
Psychiatrist: What were you doing before this all happened?
Tohru: I was cooking dinner.
Psychiatrist: What were your ingredients?
Tohru: Um... raw fish, cucumbers, avocados... oh there was also steroids and heroin Hiro stole from some of the hobos on the street. Eye of newt, cobwebs and...oh oh some dust bunnies I found under the couch. You gotta admit they really bring out the taste. =^_^=
Psychiatrist: Well that explained a lot. Seems to me that your friends have their personality vice-versa.
Tohru: Vice- versa?
Psychiatrist: ... opposite.
Tohru: Oh, so I'm not hallucinating?
Psychiatrist: No you're not.
Tohru: How can I find a cure for them?
Psychiatrist: Well, for a start you can ask a doctor.
Tohru: Thank-you very much Mr--
Psychiatrist: --Bubbles...
Tohru: Mr. Bubbles...that's a very strange—
Psychiatrist: Yes I know. I was named after my great great grandfather which was named after my great grandfather which was named after my grandfather which was named after my father and is now passed on to me and named after my son and will be the named after my grandsons and great grandsons and so on and so forth...
Tohru: Oh wow..... what a family history...... all of my ancestors and relatives were all burned down because the people found out they were witches....
Mr. Bubbles: I see where all the genes come from.... -_-;;
Tohru: Well anyways.... good-bye and thank-you Mr. Bubbles! *waves*
~ * Tohru is now at Hotori's house. * ~
Tohru: So do you have a cure for them?
Hotori: First we have to confirm with Akito-san just to let him know.
Tohru: *gulp*
~ * Akito's house *~
Hotori: *Knocks on the door*
?: Yes?
Hotori: Hello Mrs.... by the looks of you... wrinkly, old and ugly. Mrs. Wrinkly-Old-and-Ugly Woman we would like to speak with Akito-san.
Wrinkly-Old-and-Ugly Woman: Come in come in.
~ * Akito's room *~
Hotori: Akito...
Akito: *dances around like a lunatic* Lalalalala I'm crazy I'm crazy he he he he he. I like peanut butter with popcorn! Do you like peanut butter with popcorn? He he he! Lalalalala! * Slips on his kimono and falls into a hole in the ground* ... I'm OK.
~ * 1 hour later * ~
Akito: *Sitting on a wheelchair with a cast* WhY HaVe YoU CoMe HeRe ToDaY?
In the background, you here crickets.
Wrinkly-Old-and-Ugly Woman: They have already left sir.
Akito: .........I'M GONNA KILL THEM!!! Hehehehehehehe. *Continues to dance around and crashes through the wall*
~ * Shigure's House * ~
Tohru: Brace yourself Hotori!
Opens the door and finds Shigure tied up above a boiling hot cauldron, Momiji dancing around like an India, Hiro trying to put on make- up and lipstick, Ritsu sitting on the couch reading pretending nothing even happened, Kyou and Yuki flirting in the corner, Haru and his other half arguing whether they should put jelly on bread instead butter.
Tohru & Hotori: O_O
Shigure: HELP ME BEFORE HE-- *Plop! Falls into the boiling hot water*
Momiji: MOUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
PLEAZE REVIEW!!! ^_^
