Summary: Harry's going to die. How you ask me? Anyway he can! A collection of Dark Death stories in which Death is finally getting even and you'll find out that there are many gruesome ways to die if you're Harry Potter. Not even his luck can save him this time.
A/N: first a thank you to Schnuff and Skull Bearer for reviewing and giving me some extra ideas. I've put them on my list with all the others. The only thing now is to decide which one to do first, but don't worry, I'll choose.
This one's for you Schnuff, because I just couldn't stop laughing when I read this idea in your review (and the hours after that, the next day while writing this and every time I thought about it really). 'While visiting Hermione he's killed by an bookshelf'. Alright then, you asked for it....
At Death's DoorPart 6: Hermione's bookcase
Rated:
Warnings: Weirder than weird and written while the author couldn't stop laughing at the idea herself.
Harry was in a very good mood.
Mostly because today was the fifth anniversary of the day he defeated Voldemort and the whole wizarding world was celebrating, but he had a lot of other things to be happy about too. He had a fantastic job as first-string seeker for England's national team, he had just bought a new apartment and now he was on his way to his girlfriend's house. They were having a private dinner to commemorate this day. Thanks to his fame they couldn't go out to eat anyway, at least not today.
True, today was a day to be happy, but there had been so many deaths on this same day five years ago. This was the day Ron had sacrificed himself to save Hermione, the day when Snape had been tortured to death for his betrayal, when Voldemort killed Dumbledore right in front of him, the day hundreds of people died for freedom.
But now was not the time to be sad. Both him and Hermione had mourned for a very long time and they had found a way to go on with their lives, they had found each other.
He smiled as he thought about his beautiful girlfriend of three years now. She had gone off to Wizarding College for her charms masters degree, but had come back as both a charms and a potions mistress. Apparently she had gotten bored.
Still with a broad smile on his face Harry thought about what he was going to do that evening. He was going to ask her to spend her life with him. He was going to ask Mione to marry him and he just couldn't wipe the stupid grin of his face. He was already getting weird looks from people on the street, but he didn't care.
After the short walk he reached her front door and he pulled out his keys, opened the door and went inside. "Mione, I'm home." He said loudly so she heard him in the kitchen, where he knew her to be because of the sounds and smells coming from in there.
"Hey love, how was it?" She asked him, sticking her head around the corner of the open kitchen door. Harry couldn't help but smile, he was still thinking about his plans for that evening. Hell, he couldn't think about anything else.
"It was fine. It was a nice ceremony, beautiful building and I was able to avoid most of the reporters." He had been asked to be at the opening of the new children's hospital for accidental magic accidents in Hogsmead and he couldn't not go. After all he had paid for most of it and it was even named after him. The Light Lord's children's ward.
"Good to hear." And with that Hermione disappeared back into the kitchen to magic their dinner into existence.
As Harry took of his coat he noticed a new bookcase standing in the corner next to the table. It didn't have any books in it yet, but he could still detect some magic in it. "Hey Mione, where did you get the new bookcase?"
"My parents bought it for me in diagon alley." She said from the kitchen. "Nice isn't it?"
"Yeah, I guess." He muttered, he wasn't such a big fan of books like his girlfriend was, but if she liked it, who was he to argue?
Suddenly he saw something weird, something that made him rub his eyes out, but when he looked again it was gone. He could've sworn that the new piece of furniture had moved. Hadn't the shelves been arranged differently just a few seconds ago? Damn, he must've been more tired than he had thought. Just then Hermione floated the pots and pans onto the table and announced dinner to be ready.
He kept shooting glances at the new bookcase all through dinner, but the wooden monstrosity, as he had started calling it in his thoughts, didn't move again. He really didn't know why he disliked the thing so much. Moody's training must've made him more paranoid than he had thought.
Shaking his head slightly he focused back on his, hopefully, soon to be fiancé. She had just come out of the kitchen with desert and was placing it on the table. If he was going to pop the question it was going to be now. He waited until she was seated again, all the while fingering the little box in his pocket and trying very hard not to show his nerves.
Just as she was dividing the pudding, he stood up, walked in front of the bookcase, which still gave him the creeps, to her chair and got down on his knee.
Hermione was watching him in near panic, her hands covering her mouth. She had even dropped the knife, splattering the table with chocolate. And all she could mutter was a soft "Oh Harry."
"Hermione, would you do me the honour of being my wife?" He asked with a surprising steady voice and held up the open box with a beautiful ring in it, the large diamond sparkling in the candlelight.
Suddenly, before she could answer, there came a horrible creaking sound from behind Harry. Seeing the horrified look on Mione's face he quickly turned around, just in time to see a flash of sharp, pointy teeth in between the empty shelves of the new bookcase.
Before either of them could do anything, the ugly piece of furniture had sprung forward, swallowed Harry's head and bit down hard. With a nauseating crunch his neck was crushed and the rest of his body fell limply to the ground, spraying his would-be fiancé with his blood.
During this Hermione had fallen backwards in her chair, screaming, and was now searching for her wand inside her bloodied robes. But the wooden killer wasn't finished yet and in two more loud crunching bites Harry Potter was no more.
Now the only thing disturbing Hermione's screaming was a loud belch coming from the satisfied killer bookcase, before her 'incendio' ended its horrific existence.
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On the funeral.
"Hey mom." Hermione whispered through her tears. "Where did you get that bookcase anyway?"
"You mean that thing we bought for you last week?" At her daughters nod she continued. "In some quaint little street near Diagon alley. What was it called again...? Oh yes, Knockturn alley."
End
Jeez I almost made myself sick with that sweet sappy beginning, I hope I made up for it with the rest.
Hope you liked it and if you did (or didn't), please tell me.
