Chapter 4 – It Had to be You

"Oh, come on, Evans!" James Potter said in his best "I really know you're joshing" voice. "They're just jokes, you know. Nothing bad really happened to the little geek."

"That is utter crap, Potter," she snapped back in a voice so loud that he jumped in his seat. "He could have been killed in those woods. And if it hadn't been for the Headmaster, he probably would have been carried out in a box. How can you be so – evil?"

James hadn't stammered since the fourth grade. He stammered now. "I'm not evil! Please! I – I – I – don't think that - - "

"That's right, Potter. You don't think, do you? I don't like bullies. That boy has enough problems. Gods, you and your so-called pals have been tormenting him for years. One of these days he's either going to jump off Slytherin Tower or he's going to hex you good, and with some real Dark magic, too. And I won't blame him when he does."

James looked up to see Sirius Black striding towards their table.

It had been a serious strategic mistake to break eye contact with Lily, because it made him appear even more insensitive than he felt.

"Oh, well, excuse me if I'm taking up too much of your time with your mates, Potter!"

"No, Lily! Hold on – "

"No thank you. Frankly, I'm sick to death of you and your piggy, insensitive friends, James," Lily Evans spat. "I want nothing to do with you – or your buddies."

James Potter sat, mouth agape, transfixed with disbelief, watching Lovely Lily as she spun on her heels and walked smartly out of the Great Hall, skirt hem twitching.

He felt his lunch souring in his stomach.

"What's the problem, Prongs?" said Sirius Black, the very soul of self- possessed confidence.

"Isn't it obvious?" Potter retorted. "This whole thing with Snivelly is coming very close to fouling up my love life."

"Excuse me? What love life? Have you been holding out information on me, Potter?" He playfully punched James in the upper arm.

"Ouch," he cranked.

Sirius casually tossed his books onto the table. "Hey, guess where Snivelly is! Did you hear that I put him back in the Hospital Wing?"

"You did WHAT?"

"Nasty little punk mouthed off to me. So I used his face to clean part of the corridor wall a while ago!" Sirius suddenly realized he didn't much care for the look in his friend's eyes. "Hey, he asked for it – even tried to pick a fight. Can you believe it?"

James sat there, staring at his best friend. "Oh, please don't tell me you did anything else to him, Padfoot. Aren't we in enough hot water because of that little snake?"

"He'll get over it," Black said. The Great Hall was almost empty as lunch was over and the afternoon classes had already begun. "No big deal, James; really."

"Did you get in trouble?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and shrugged nonchalantly. "The Headmaster talked to me for a few minutes. We lost a few more points."

"How many?"

"Um. Forty."

"WHAT? FORTY FREAKING POINTS? Are you out of your head, Black?"

"We were behind anyway. No biggie. We'll recoup!" He fixed James with one of his best dazzling grins; it worked on Potter about as well as the one he'd given to Dumbledore, however.

"I don't believe this, Pads," James said in a dead tone of voice. "I don't believe this. And I don't believe you, either."

Without another word, James gathered up his books and strode out of the Great Hall, leaving the charter member of the Sirius Black Fan Club sitting all alone.

------------------------

Lily had made her way cautiously and quietly to the Hospital Wing. She knew that Nurse Pomfrey guarded her charges vigilantly, and the girl knew that any overt attempt to talk to Severus Snape would be vigorously resisted.

She watched Pomfrey walk down the corridor on some errand or another. Quickly and silently, she tiptoed over within eyeshot of the sole occupied bed on the floor.

The kid looked just awful. Lily knew that Snape wasn't any sort of athlete or anything, but she also knew that normal skin tone shouldn't be so ghastly pale. His black hair lay in stark contrast to it, draped carelessly across the white pillow. He had dark circles under his eyes and appeared to be asleep.

Lily heard the sound of two sets of footsteps approaching rapidly. As quick as she could, she raced behind the door of a nearby linen closet.

"Here he is, Mrs. Snape. He's doing about as well as we can expect just now."

"Will he be all right?"

"Oh, certainly! Don't you worry. We'll take good care of him for you."

Lily held her breath and peeked in between the door and its hinges. She saw a tall, slender, and rather pretty black-haired woman, whose eyes were as smudged beneath with worry and stress as her son's.

"I'll just leave you for a few minutes, then," Pomfrey told her.

The woman – obviously Severus' mother – reached out and took the nurse's hand. "Thank you for your kindness to my boy," she sighed, very close to tears. "I so appreciate it."

Nurse Pomfrey nodded, smiled, and then went about her business. Lily stood very still, trapped where she stood, feeling like the worst kind of intruder.

Quite suddenly, the woman put her hands over her face and began to silently sob.

"Mama?" said Severus.

Seeing her son's dark eyes open undid her completely. "Oh, honey. I am so sorry. I'm so sorry for it all."

He reached up and took one of her hands. "It's all right, Mama," he said. "You don't have to apologize to me for anything. It wasn't you who hurt me, you know."

She smoothed his hair from his brow. "I should have taken you and left your father years ago. I was too afraid! I stood by and let him hurt you when I should have been getting you away to safety. I was selfish, and now you're the one who suffers for it. I'm so, so sorry!"

Severus pulled himself up to a sitting position and patted his mother's back as she sobbed.

"It's all my fault, my poor baby," the witch continued to weep.

"No, it's not, Mama. You've never harmed me! Just think of all the times you took a beating so I wouldn't have to."

"Neither one of us should have been beaten by that man," his mother hissed with sudden rage. "I should have left years ago, and taken you with me."

Severus blinked back his own tears at this. His earliest memories were of loud voices, and thuds, and shouts, and pain, and the sound of his own despondent weeping. He raised his mother's chin and looked into her eyes. "Things aren't that simple, Mama," he said with a maturity beyond his years. "They never were. We've both survived it, haven't we? Don't cry, Mama. It's all right."

She hugged her only child fiercely.

"For me to realize that you're suffering here at school is hard, Sevi. I so loved Hogwarts. Your father wouldn't tell me exactly what happened, but said that you got into some sort of fight with a group of boys."

Young Snape's eyes widened. So she didn't know of his shame!

"That's right, Mama. I got into a fight. But I'm better now."

"What happened to your nose, sweetheart?"

"Well, it happened to connect with one of their fists. But you can believe me when I tell you I gave back twice of what I was given!" He gave her a brave smile, hoping desperately that she would believe the lie.

She smiled tremulously back at him. "I'm so proud of you, baby. So very proud. My good boy."

They held each other tight for a few moments.

"I need to get back, Sevi. But I need for you to – well, promise me something."

"What, Mama?"

She had an odd expression on her face. "I need to know that you – that you won't – let those boys defeat you, honey; do you understand me?"

He nodded, knowing full well that his mother meant to eke out a promise that he wouldn't kill himself.

"Of course, Mama. Don't worry about me! Just take good care of yourself and that will make me happy!"

Hands over her mouth, Lily Evans stood huddled behind the linen closet door in a paroxysm of embarrassment. She hadn't meant to intrude upon the privacy of this little family. Wiping the tears from her own face, she waited until both hugged each other in farewell, then quietly slipped out from behind the door and whisked down the corridor.