Wasteland

By spheeris1

Pairing: Saionji/Touga

Warnings/notes: See Author's Note

***

'Don't worry…it'll be like our secret, like a shared dream…don't be afraid…' Touga's voice washed over him, from behind Kyouichi…from beside him…from everywhere…

The walls were painfully bare. And the house was dark with heavy curtains pulled to block out the sun. He could hear breathing. He could smell sweat and dust.

Touga was beckoning him with a smile. It almost seemed gentle when the boy took Kyouichi's hand and tugged him into one room.

A silent room, with one bed in the corner and a lamp on the floor.

Kyouichi kept watching Touga's eyes, how they grazed over him like a feather—it helped numb the fear, the fear…of…of something Kyouichi could not place. There was a pressure behind him, around him.

The air seemed to get cold against his skin. He could feel it whip around his thighs, his knees, his ankles.

Touga pulled the buttons of Kyouichi's uniform slowly, nuzzling the side of Kyouichi's face and kissing the place where jaw met ear.

Kyouichi stopped breathing and shut off a voice inside, one that was screaming that something was wrong…something was horribly, terribly, amazingly wrong…

'This can be our place, Saionji…no one else will know, just us…' Touga murmured, running his fingertips down Kyouichi's chest.

Kyouichi let his eyes flutter shut—this place was safe, it was theirs and no one else's—he had a part of Touga no one in this world could have.

It was intoxicating. It was making his body tremble. It was creating desire so evident…so simple to see, burning hot in between Kyouichi's legs…

'Just remember…I am here…' Touga said softly against Kyouichi's lips before kissing him.

Kyouichi will know that taste forever now.

A flavor of cinnamon, of vanilla, of decadence, of the always unattainable.

From that moment on, though, it was nothing but a distant and troubling pain…Kyouichi felt his body sag to the floor and felt a pair of hands trailing up his back, pushing the uniform up. Something warm against his backside, rubbing and slightly wet, eager fingers pushing Kyouichi open…making his face smack against the floor…

And that is when Kyouichi woke up.

It was too late though, despite trying to move up again and get away from whoever was behind him…arms wrapped around his waist and agony entered him, a sharp and ripping pain—too hot, too full—Kyouichi screamed out.

He clawed at the floor desperately, knocking the lamp over in his effort.

But whoever it was, they did not stop. They just kept moving inside him, dry and tight and hard.

They were grunting and panting now, Kyouichi could hear this person…he let his head fall down again and felt very real teardrops slip out from his eyes, trying to remove himself from this moment.

It was not working. It was never going to work.

Kyouichi was being fucked by some stranger…and, somewhere, was Touga…watching…Like the pencil. Like the lunch. Like kendo. Like the blush.

Kyouichi never felt more humiliated in his life.

Then, it was over. The person pulled away. Kyouichi heard voices…he heard Touga's voice…then a door close.

Kyouichi did not move. His hands and elbows felt raw, his lip was bleeding from where his teeth had bitten down.

Touga told him to get dressed and so Kyouichi did.

It was a numb feeling, moving against clothing and standing and walking.

The other boy stopped him before the front door opened.

Touga was running his thumb over Kyouichi's knuckles lightly.

'You and I are going to be close…you are my best friend…'

Then Kyouichi was back out in the late afternoon sun, walking and heading home…though everything was dying inside of him…

***

TBC