Wasteland
By spheeris1
Pairing: Saionji/Touga
Warnings/notes: See Author's Note
***
It was a cheap habit.
At least, in comparison with others. Kyouichi could follow the trail of used-up needles to the house like bread crumbs. Shiny slips of metal, glittering in the daylight…glass reflecting pools of piss and gasoline…it was disgustingly beautiful.
It was much more sanitary.
Both could cause an early death. But Kyouichi would take the slow erosion of his lungs and of the cilia within his throat. He liked the feeling of his chest becoming tight with smoke.
All the other options--the crack, the heroin, the meth--it smelled of a hospital. Lazy eyes in the alleyways, jittery arms and rubber skin…boxes of cheap medicine, propane tanks and the loud smack of slapping flesh. Kyouichi would find himself chuckling as he watched those people, red-rimmed and gaunt, chasing a vein.
They ran from the law daily.
Kyouichi could just go in the store at the corner and buy a pack. He could lay his money down, dollar-bills stained with sweat and semen, and walk away with his little box of happiness.
He could smoke them one after the other.
All day and night.
Kyouichi actually did that, often. He had dropped out of school, no longer having the energy to pretend to care. The day Kyouichi stopped going, Touga suggested that they burn his notebooks.
Pages filled with numbers, dates of importance and such.
Of classes. Of test questions. Of Kyouichi's future.
So they did.
They stood in the forest at dusk, burning each and every one. The smoke turned black and swirled upward. And Touga smiled over at him, all at once endearing and yet false.
Kyouichi blamed the toxic fumes for the stinging underneath his eyelids.
**
Kyouich marked the days by the men who walked up the steps and entered the shadows of the house. The hours were always the same--from five o'clock until the first light of dawn.
Salarymen most times, how they loved to loosen the tie around their necks and fold their suit slacks, sit them in the corner…near the door…
They all wanted the same things.
Faces hidden into a pillow, ass up and fingers clinched…skin slick, breath hot…they would take, they would be taken…
Until Kyouichi could not see their faces anymore.
Tall. Short. Thin. Fat. Kyouichi let them all have a turn. He no longer cared…maybe he never did…
And when his own body was bent over, Kyouichi imagined it was Touga behind him.
Touga holding Kyouichi steady. Touga pushing inside of him. Touga's chest plastered to Kyouichi's back.
And when Kyouichi was gripping the hips of some nowhere man of the night, it was Touga he was fucking. Touga's red hair spider-webbing on the dingy bed. Touga's thighs shaking. Touga's muffled groans lost in the air.
**
'Who owns this place?' Kyouichi asked one day, the gray trail leaving his pale lips and blurring the sun.
They lay on a hill. How they got there…Kyouichi did not know.
Something was different this day.
Touga wanted to walk. And so they walked.
Away from the city and the suburbs. Into the forest and out the other-side.
Kyouichi never knew there was so much open land here.
A field of green, at the border of his beloved trees.
And now, laying on the ground side-by-side, Kyouichi could not recall…really…how they got there at all.
'A man. A dark and beautiful man…'Touga murmured, taking Kyouichi's cigarette and crushing it.
Touga did not mind the second of heat on his fingers.
'How do you know?' Kyouichi asked, his mind stuck on the rapid movement of the clouds but his body rolling to the right, rolling ever closer to Touga. The boy did not push him away. The boy did nothing at all.
'I've been here before…so have you…but I don't know when anymore…' Touga said quietly.
And then Touga reached out slowly…or it seemed slow to Kyouichi…and placed his hand on Kyouichi's chest, stretching his fingers out wide.
Kyouichi felt the sudden urge to struggle against Touga.
But the boy smiled, a lazy and wistful and more than likely drug-induced smile, and leaned down to kiss Kyouichi's lips.
Kyouichi could never fight that…never ever…
'Can you feel it?' Touga whispered.
Kyouichi felt certain things…wild and reckless and desperate things…and Touga laughed at him.
'Saionji…we are no longer…' But Touga's words were lost in the breeze.
**
TBC
