I'm so sorry for not posting—but I gave up fan fiction for Lent. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, especially when LavenderBrown kept on UPDATING! It drove me crazy that I couldn't read her stories.

Chapter 4

*Harry's POV*

            I watched Ginny as she described—more like told, actually—to Ron exactly how he felt. Because of the whole "in love with Hermione" thing. But really, it felt more like she was describing exactly how I felt whenever I looked at her.

            Except that, you know, she had no idea.

            As Ron walked away and she turned to me, I hadn't a clue what came over me. I had never been particularly brave with…girls. I mean, apparently, you throw Lord Voldemort, the Darkest wizard ever known, at me, and I can come away unscathed. Put a girl next to me, and I'm dead meat.

            "Ginny…I think I'm in love with you," I said slowly. Don't ask why I did it, or what I thought would come out of it. I just…said it.

            Her eyes widened and a blush bloomed over her cheeks. I was assuming that she was so horrified that she wasn't sure quite how to put her rejection that would make it seem less…cruel.

            "Harry…" she said faintly, avoiding my gaze.

            "I—I know," I said, hardly believing how foolish I'd been. "It was totally…out of line. I—just—don't tell Ron, OK?"

            And then, before she could say another word, I was out of the Great Hall and on my way to Gryffindor tower.

            As I walked blindly there, not really having to pay attention to where I was going because I knew the path so well, I berated myself angrily for having done such a stupid thing. I knew she didn't like me…like that anymore. That was just a stupid childhood crush, and now I'd ruined our easy friendship. Because Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, was a stupid, bloody prat.

            Soon I found myself at the Fat Lady's portrait and after giving the password, I stumbled into the common room. I looked around cautiously for Ron and Hermione, hoping that another one of their famous fights hadn't erupted. I didn't think I could deal with that as well as what had just happened.

            As the coast was clear, I walked over to one of the couches in front of the fire and slumped into it, the weight of misery weighing down on my shoulders. I just didn't know how many times it would take until I realized that girls like Ginny didn't like me as more than just a friend.

            I had no idea how long I sat there, wallowing in self-pity, something I despised but didn't seem to be able to get rid of these days.

            "Harry?" someone said tentatively.

            Without bothering to turn around, I said "Hi Hermione. You and Ron all right yet?"

            "Yeah, I…I guess," she replied. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her sit beside me on the couch.

            "Are you OK?" she asked, sounding concerned.

            "I will be, I think. I just have to stop acting like a complete prat," I answered, laughing somewhat bitterly.

"What do you mean? I don't—oh no," Hermione stood up and began pacing in front of the fireplace. "Harry, there's something you have to understand about Ginny. I mean, well, you know, you didn't really pay attention to her for, what, 5 years. And I know that now you…well…you think you like her. As more than a friend. But I mean, you don't really know her. So I'd just…wait a bit before saying anything to her."

            "It's a tad late for that, Hermione," I replied slowly. "I think I told her I loved her."

            "You what?" she shrieked. I fell off the couch and hit my head on the fireplace.

            "Thanks a lot, Hermione," I said, rubbing my head. Luckily, there was no blood.

            "Oh, Harry, this is really bad, I don't know what you're going to do, because that must have been such a shock, you don't just spring that on a person, oh dear, I'd better go off and find her…"

            Still mumbling (presumably to herself, because I didn't understand a word she said), Hermione walked out of the common room.

            I threw myself on the sofa and groaned, burrowing my head into a pillow. I couldn't believe what a mess I'd made of things.

            "I'd say you've gotten yourself into a right mess, Harry," a voice said above me. I slowly lifted my head to find Ron standing there, grinning like a loon. I decided not to ask what had made him so happy. I had a feeling I really didn't want to know.

            "Thanks for all the advice, Ron," I said, sitting up on the couch.

            "Y'know, Harry," he said, sitting next to me. "I know my sister as well as anyone and I'd say that that crush she had on you when she was in first year is gone--long gone."

            "Thanks, Ron," I said sarcastically. What good were best mates, anyway? At least, best mates like Ron. He really was a good guy, except for when he was taking your heart out and stepping on it. And then using it as a Bludger.

            "No, no, no," he said, holding his hands up. "You're missing the point."

            "Oh, really?" I asked him defensively. "I think I'm…not missing the point. I get exactly what you're saying. You're saying that I'm not good enough for Ginny, that no matter how hard I try, she'll just see me as her older brother's best friend…and hopefully as her friend. And you're also saying that you don't think I'm good enough for her, that you'd rather leave her to the Dean Thomases of the world instead of your own bloody best friend. I understand, Ron. I get it."

            He was looking at something behind me with an odd look on his face.

            "OK, Harry—what would be the absolute worst thing that could happen right now?"

            No. Fate was not this cruel. It would not do this to me, this time. I had gone through a lot, but this was just too much.

            I slowly turned around to find Ginny Weasley standing halfway in the Gryffindor common room, with the portrait of the Fat Lady hanging wide open. I could hear her mumbling about how inconsiderate students were, that she'd been in front of the Gryffindor common room for longer than most of our great-great-great-great grandparents' parents had been alive, and so on and so forth.

            The thing was…

            I couldn't exactly concentrate on that when the most beautiful girl in the world was standing in front of me.