I know Zale didn't appear until later, but he could have been there!
Please please review!
Whew, that was a big mess o' wounded! Can really tire a feller out. Along with ol' Zale's been kinda cranky at me lately, too. Idunno why, I didn't do nothin' to 'im.Yestiddy I wuz kinda in 'es way and a'whistlin' a tune, mindin' my own bizness when, real mean like he sez to me, he sez, "Elfie, move and shut yer mouth or I'll do it fer ya."
Now, o' course I did, 'cause I'm not wantin' no trouble for him, but ah did some figgerin' an' came to a conclusion. See, He du'n't like Klinger, the crazy guy, an' they been on eachother's case ag'in lately. Now, Zale don't like it when people agree with Klinger, and in one pertic'lar time I did, an' that's about when it started.
Oh, and by the way, Klinger's up to 'es old tricks ag'in. I 'ad to talk him outta his first ideer of bein' a toilet an' spinning ever'were 'he went. I figgered 'ed get all dizzy an' crash. He said that was the point. Cause trouble. But I talked sum sense into 'im, luck'ly. Now he's tied upside down to the baskeetball pole bah 'is feet. Don't know how long it'll be this time. I'm kinda a'sceered f' him, y'know?
Yestiddy, bein' Easter an' all, we 'ad an egg hunt of our own. We 'id the extra stuff that got sent to us from the Supply people ('ceptin' a few things we couldn't), an' Father Mulcahy had t' orphans over.
Now, t'other day, 'Enry went t' Tokyo fer a meetin', an' Trap deecided t' 'ave a squer dance/drinkin' contest in the O-Club, an' half the people passed out cold on t'floor. Ev'rybody wuz trippin' ev'rywure. When ol' Major Burns sees this, he got all riled an' tried t' end it. Well, sumbody ended 'im first. Got knocked out wit a bottle, by I don't know who. That got Major Hotlips steamin' an' she goes t' call Cuhnel Blake. Hee hee, well turns out at that veery moment, good old Henry couldn't answer 'cuz 'e wuz snoozin--get this--frum the booze 'imself! Now if that don't beat all, I say. The Majors call him incompetent, ever'body else says he's tops. 'Cept Hawkeye, says "finest kind."
As actin' C.O., the Ferret Face is about as strict as y' cen be. He duhn't like t'e drinkin', gamblin', or, as the good Father calls it, "jocularities". We gotta get up fer revelee and sumtimes calisthhh...cal...oh, ah cain't say it...t' exercizin'. It's pure murder. None of us like it.
That there's the news, plus Ugly John won once in Poker--$4.00. He's 'appy. Stayed awaked t' whole time too. Also, Spearchucker's gone and left us now, an' no one's replacing him. And tomorrow sumthin's been planned fer the Ferret. Hee hee.
Weeell, Ahm gonna git goin', 'cause I need my beauty sleep. Hasn't done much good fer me yet, though. Bah now!
