Thanks as always to Marlou and Burked for beta-ing

Chapter Ten

Warrick was waiting in Trace when Sara eventually found him. Feeling her presence, he looked up, his soulful eyes piercing hers. "Hey."

"Hey Warrick," she smiled, stepping closer into the room to stand next to him.

"Something you need?" he asked with a growing smile.

"Huh? … Me?" she asked, breaking out into a soft smile. "No I just spoke to Nick. He said you guys were going out to breakfast."

"Yeah we are," he nodded. "You gonna join us?"

"No, I can't today." Her voice dropped when his eyes melted into hers, leaving her fighting to conceal the truth from him. "I…um, I just wanted to let you know."

"You okay?"

"What?" she asked, a smile once more forming on her lips. "I just wanted to let you know, that's all."

"That you can't make breakfast?" His eyes narrowed as he spoke, casting her a suspicious stare. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure," she smiled, catching his hand in mid air before he could reach her forehead to see for himself. "I am okay," she told him. "I just wanted to let you know."

"Okay," he nodded, his hand clasping hers before she could pull away from his grasp. "We're sure gonna miss you around here."

"Yeah?" she smiled, her eyes glistening with his soft admission. "I'll miss you more." Pulling away from him, she backed out of the door, taking the memory of him with her before she turned and hurried away to continue her silent goodbyes.

By the end of shift, everyone except Grissom had gone home. As she sat inside the now empty locker room, Sara had contemplated leaving without a word to him, but she couldn't do that, not to him or herself. If nothing else, he deserved one last smile from her, even though he wouldn't know it would be the last time he would see her, for a few months at least. Pulling on her jacket, she opened her bag and pushed her badge inside before zipping it up. Her eyes slid down to her gun and pager, their dormant silence only serving to add to her heartache. Soon she would leave this place and take her memories with her.

Moving towards the doorway, she turned back to take another long look around the room. She was really doing this, she was leaving, and the painful truth was that she would miss the people here more than the lab itself. Reaching down to the bench, she picked up her belongings and headed out of the door towards Cavallo's office for one last time.

As she walked along the deserted hallways, she found herself memorizing each window, each door, everything that would stay locked inside her mind until she was strong enough to return. Passing Greg's lab, she felt a twinge in her heartstrings. She would miss his flirtatious glances and his countless attempts to ask her out. A smile formed on her lips as she pictured his face in her mind. She hoped he would be happy for her.

"I didn't expect to see you again before you left," Cavallo smiled as she came into his office quietly.

"I know, but I needed to give you my weapon and pager. They are the labs property after all." Handing them over to him, she smiled slightly before turning around.

"Good luck," he offered, his smile only increasing the emptiness inside her.

"Thank you," she whispered quietly before closing his door behind her, and walked the slow walk down the corridor towards the exit. Her pace slowed as she came closer to Grissom's office. She could practically feel him, his powerful essence reaching inside her to burn her heart. She wanted to tell him so much, but the words would always have to remain unspoken. She longed to whisper I love you, the words aching to be released. Her tongue already practiced the truth, desperate to spill out and declare everything to him. Taking a deep breath, she fingered the edge of the envelope in her pocket, her letter to him a heartfelt goodbye, saying the words that he may never get to hear her say aloud. Closing the distance, she came to a stop in the doorway and peered inside.

Her heart dropped when she saw him, and she found herself mesmerized by his presence. She memorized every detail of him, from his greying hair, to his powerful shoulders then down to his forearms that were left exposed beneath his rolled up sleeves. In this silent memorization she realized just how much she loved this beautiful man, and no amount of distance would ever change that, no matter how deep she would have to bury her emotions. At first he didn't realize she was there, but when he finally looked up and caught her gaze, Sara felt her heart break completely in two.

"Sara?"

"I…" she stopped, her voice unsteady as she fought with the need to touch him. "Goodnight."

"Night," he answered, his eyes continuing to watch her curiously. When she didn't move, he took a moment to study her, his investigative mind regaining control. Without thinking, he opened his mouth, his voice sounding cold and unfeeling, something he hadn't intended. "Was there something else?"

His voice had seemed cold, colder than she had ever heard before and at that precise moment Sara realized just why she had arrived at her decision. Shaking her head sadly, she sighed before she offered him a faint smile. "I just wanted to say goodbye, that's all." Taking a step back, she saw the confusion sparking in his eyes and she couldn't bear to watch the flickering denial cause another wave of pain, so she turned away before he could respond.

"Sara." He called just as she was about to walk away, his soft voice halting her retreat. Turning slowly, she blinked back the tears in her eyes and watched him expectantly

"I'm sorry I accepted the transfer without telling you," she whispered softly, her voice tumbling from her before he could speak. "Things haven't been right between us for a long time."

"No," he nodded, pushing his chair back slowly as he stood up. "I'm sorry I overreacted."

For a heart stopping moment, Sara thought he was going to step closer to her, but he stopped beside his desk. She wasn't sure what she wanted him to do now; maybe secretly she had hoped he would try to change her mind. Lifting her eyes to his, she gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "Goodbye," she whispered quietly as she stepped out of his doorway, knowing he wouldn't follow. Even if he responded, she couldn't have heard his voice above the screaming inside her heart. She was leaving him and her insides felt like they were being ripped apart with every step she took away from him. 

Grissom stared at the empty doorway, her loss instantly aching upon his tired body. He had wanted to say so many things to her, so many things he should have told her a long time ago, but he didn't know where to start. In a week, maybe less, she would be leaving a void inside him that no other woman would ever be able to fill. He would miss her more than he could ever admit, even to her, but he knew she needed to hear it.

 His heart already knew the answers and the beautiful words he would need to say to reveal a tiny measure of his feelings for her. She needed to know he was trying so hard to open up to her, even if it took him forever to do it. With a heavy sigh, he returned to his desk, oblivious to the fact that her words of 'too late' would come back to haunt him when he learned of her departure. In just a few hours, Gil Grissom's life would be turned upside down, but for now, he worked in blissful solitude, unaware of the darkness approaching.

Day shift had already started to arrive by the time she made it to the front desk, and she was increasingly grateful that Judy was no longer on duty.

"Can I help you?" Sandy Marshal, Judy's dayshift counterpart asked with a smile.

"Yes. I'd like to put this package into the internal mail." Sara opened her bag and pulled a medium sized Jiffy bag out. Taking the letter out of her pocket, she placed it inside with a battered copy of a book of sonnets that Grissom had given to her a long time ago. She had planned on finding an appropriate page to pop the letter into, its place marking a particular verse, but she couldn't find anything that met her mood. Instead she had quoted something inside her letter, a verse that he alone would understand.

Handing the sealed package over to Sandy, she watched as the young woman put the package into the correct tray and then turned around to leave, taking an internal note that everything was going to change.

The warm morning sun caught her face as she walked over towards her car. Everything seemed to weigh twenty times heavier than it actually did, and her keys were no exception. As she finally placed the strip of metal into the lock, she turned to take one final look around and then climbed into her car. Tears welled up inside her eyes the second she started the engine; its steady hum only increasing her internal pain. Leaving here was the right thing to do, she knew that, she really did, but why did it hurt so much to leave? Reaching up a shaky hand, she wiped her eyes before leaving the car park. It was time for her new life to begin.

TBC