Chapter 14
Draco lied down next to her and watched her sleep that night in her room. He gently brushed away strands of her hair away from her face and lightly touched her cheek with his fingertips. They were facing each other on her bed while Crookshanks slept on the little space between them.
She looked so angelic, so beautiful, and so peaceful that he couldn't tear his gaze away from her. At that moment, he too felt at peace, but that temporary feeling left him when he remembered his confrontation with Professor Snape again that afternoon…
"What the hell are you doing with her?" Snape had demanded right away when he entered his office. "You're fucking with her, aren't you?" Draco had remained silent until Snape finished all of his condemnation and disgust towards him. "Damn it! What would your father say?"
"Nothing," he answered silently, but steadily. He tried to sound uninterested, but he really was anxious and serious. He was in deep thought. He was afraid. But he didn't show any outward emotion at all. Hard years of coping with the devil, his own father, had taught him to be hard, cold, jaded, aloof, cynical, and most especially impassive.
'You know why?" Draco continued. "Because he doesn't know and he never will." Snape paled at that statement. His own student was warning him…threatening him, and he wasn't surprised, no, no, he wasn't; he was just amused not at his student but at himself because it had happened to him before when he was his age. And he had acted the same; he had blackmailed his teacher. Draco reminded him of his own self. Looking at him was like looking at his own reflection from a mirror only he had black hair.
He finally knew how his teacher must've felt, but his teacher then was a coward and he wasn't. He will never allow himself to be reduced into an idiot.
"Draco, I am not actually threatened. In fact, I don't feel anything."
"Neither do I."
Snape gave an evil smile. "It's useless; I fear nothing."
"You shall fear me," his student calmly replied. Snape snorted. "Your sins are graver than mine. It's my word against yours," Draco continued.
Snape laughed. It was a most horrible and intimidating laugh. "Your word against mine?" He choked out the words in between his laughs. "Draco, I am disappointed in you. Who the hell would believe you? McGonagall? That old maid would laugh right in front of your face. Dumbledore? He'll only scold you for your lack of judgment. Your father? Oh please!" He continued after a long pause, "It's my word against yours, Draco, and your father will most certainly believe me."
"My father doesn't scare me--"
"Oh but he does. You do not fear his direct aggression towards you. You're much used to that. You fear something else," he stated. Draco stared at him expressionless, but deep inside, his stomach twisted into a knot. What did he mean by that? Snape laughed. "Ah, Draco, it's written all over your face. Whatever this temptress reduced you into is very obvious to me and it will be very obvious to your own father. What would he do --- not to you, but to her?"
"Draco?" The soft whisper of his name caught his attention and his thoughts faded away into oblivion when he stared into her eyes. "What's wrong?" Concern was all over her face, and somehow it got through the wall that he had securely built around him and his heart.
"Shhh…go back to sleep," he leaned closer to kiss her forehead. "It's nothing." She didn't believe him.
"It's Professor Snape, isn't it?" Draco did not answer. Hermione continued, "Please tell me what's going on. I saw both of your faces this morning; they were filled with contempt---"
"You judged wrong. We were only trying to communicate."
"You threatened him, I know. But with what? What do you have against him?" Hermione waited for him to answer, but Draco remained silent and deep in thought.
He closed his eyes and sighed, remembering what he had witnessed many times before over the last 3 years in Hogwarts, and he could still clearly see the first time he caught his own teacher…
One day in Draco's 5th year at Hogwarts, he was sent by Professor McGonagall to Snape's office to return a book she had borrowed from him. Draco obeyed and went down immediately to his destination. When he reached the office, he was about to knock when he heard some strange moaning inside. He had chuckled then with disbelief because he knew that Snape was busy with someone. Draco was curious as to who the potions master was with this time and at the same time, his head also dictated him to mind his own business. Curiosity, excitement and his own sexual drive got the better of him though and before he could stop himself, he opened the door slightly and found Snape and one of his male students get busy on the floor.
After that incident, Draco tried to forget what he saw. He tried to convince himself that it didn't happen at all and that he was only hallucinating, but in vain. Before the incident, when he'd see Snape talking with his male schoolmates, he never minded it nor actually noticed it, but after the incident, he noticed all of the time that Snape always call one of his students to stay after the class because he wanted to discuss with him some things. Then in empty corridors and classrooms, he'd spot Snape lurking around with another of his male students.
"Draco?" Hermione asked again, touching his frown softly with her fingers. Draco snapped back to reality. "Are you all right? You look pale…well you're always kind of pale."
He just stared at her, debating with himself whether or not he should tell her. He had never told anyone about Snape being a pedophile, and he never will. Then, he had made respect the reason for his silence, but now, he already had another reason...Hermione.
"I'm fine," he answered casually.
"Please tell me what happened, Draco. Please?" Draco smiled, but the smile faded immediately. He didn't say anything more, and so Hermione considered it a no. "Maybe if you tell it to me, you'll feel better." That next statement struck him and he suddenly realized that nobody, not even Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy have ever asked him to share to them his feelings, his secrets, his pain, but still, even if they asked, he doesn't trust them enough to tell them.
"You look tired, you know. And… sad and preoccuied. Draco, no matter how hard you try to conceal what you truly feel, you can't hide from me---"
"And why is that?"
"Because when I look at your eyes, I see you." God, he wanted to tell her…tell her everything…tell her about his life, his emotions, his agonies, his sorrow, his father. For a moment, he had decided to tell her all that, but the plan diminished because he was afraid of betrayal, a word he disliked the most…next to love.
"I don't trust you," he whispered, trying to convince himself that what he just said was true. Hermione sighed and smiled.
"It's all right. I understand. I don't trust you either," she chuckled.
"I know."
"Well, I don't trust myself either when I'm with you," she blushed at that and Draco was touched by her honesty. "But I'm still determined to make you feel better." With that, she leaned closer and lightly touched her lips to his. When she parted from him, she blushed even more. It was a sweet and innocent gesture, and its effect on Draco was overwhelming. He smiled.
"Come here," he said, and Hermione moved closer, waking and driving Crookshanks away. He cupped her backside and brought her up on top of him. He opened his mouth to say something, but the words were caught in his throat. The touch of her fingers on his open mouth, the nearness and the weight of her body on top of him, and the look in her eyes unexpectedly drugged his mind. His attraction to her became even wilder that he ached to feel her…to be inside of her, but he knew better than to give in.
She leaned her head down as he raised his head up to seize her mouth with hard, demanding need. He devoured her like a hungry animal, and she responded to his hunger with innocent sweetness and shyness. It took him several seconds to kiss her shyness away and evoke from her the wild passion locked inside of her for years.
He rolled her to her side and came on top of her, tasting her neck and the hollow part of her throat. Common sense left him; he so desperately wanted to take off their clothes and make love to her. His desire to be inside her was too strong now to hear the dictates of his present mind.
His hand crept under her tank top, but Hermione stopped him. He was already rigid with yearning, and groaned when she placed her hand over his to stop him from continuing. Draco sensed the hesitance and stopped almost immediately before it was too late. He tore his mouth from hers and rolled to his side. Hermione raised her head to look at him beside her.
"I'm sorry, it's just that---"
"Shhhh…" He interrupted. "Come here," he added. Hermione moved closer and rested her head on his chest.
I should be the one apologizing. He though gravely. This ravishing innocent beside me is too good to be at fault. He added in his thoughts before he realized what he was saying. Damn, I trust her… it was a reprimand for trusting a muggle-born was definitely a sin according to his father's dictionary of dos and don'ts, which have been strongly and strictly imparted on him for the past 17 years of his life.
I've already defied him by being with this girl; so why the hell should I not tell her about Snape?
Because she's going to tell Harry and Ron…might as well tell everyone.
She's not going to tell. I believe her…damn, I trust her!
"Granger?" He muttered.
"Hmmm?" She sounded sleepy.
"Oh, nothing…good night."
I'll tell her tomorrow. Was his last thought before he finally dozed off to dreamland. That night, the echo of Snape's horrid laugh and the sound of his father's whips turned his beautiful dream with Hermione into a nightmare. What's more, he realized that it wasn't him being tortured by his father, but instead it was her.
