Right, this is me second fanfic, me other one's under Larky's name coz I only just got meself an account. It should be on here in a couple of days. This is just a little bit o' fun I had when I was bored in German.

Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Legolas or Jack as of yet, but I do have 50-odd posters plastering me bedroom wall, if that counts? Oh well, we can but dream!!!

What the hell.?

You'll never guess what happened to me the other morning. I was in my room watching the POTC blooper reel (again!) when I heard this "thunk" coming from the living room. I was alone in the house, so my immediate reaction was that I had company (i.e. a burglar), so, in true Buffy style, I pulled on my 4-inch boots, grabbed a pointy-wooden-thingy from my desk, stopped by the mirror to check that my hair was perfect - you just never know with thieves; they can be sooo cute sometimes, you just have to feel sorry for them getting mixed up in crime - and stealthily tip-toed out of my room and down the stairs.

I stopped just outside the living room door. Good for me, because just then an arrow came whistling past my face. What burglar carries a bow 'n' arrow with them? I thought. Now it was just getting weird. On an impulse, I kicked open the door - and froze.

"'Ello, love," came a drunk voice from the corner of the room.

"Oh. My. God," I was astounded. Who should be in my house, but the most gorgeous pirate ever? "J-Jack Sparrow."

"Tha's Capt'n Jack Sparrow to you, love."

"But where did that arrow come from then?"

"That would be me. Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood at your service." "Oh. My. God," I repeated. The two most gorgeous guys on the planet were standing right in front of me. "Right, what the hell are you two doing in here?" I demanded. Not that I was complaining, but I was curious as to why they were there. Who wouldn't be?

"Rum?" Jack offered me his empty bottle.

"No, you plank!" Then I realised he wasn't offering it to me - he wanted a refill. "Sorry, Capt'n. No rum 'round here."

"Hey, he's got one of my arrows!"

"What d'ye expect? I'm a bloody pirate, for God's sake!"

"Come here - now!" With that, the angry elf proceeded to chase Jack around the room. Seeing as the drunk pirate was, er, drunk, he ended up tripping over his own feet, and landed on the floor with an arrow pointed at his heart.

"Parley?"

"No-one steals my arrows and gets away with it, understand?"

"Alright, you two, break it up now. Jack, I might just have a bottle of me dad's rum in the dining room, savvy?"

"Sav- hang on, that's my word! Where did you get it from?"

"Long story, doesn't matter now. I'll be back in a minute, and if either of you are dead when I come back, your life won't be worth living." I went into the next room, and found a half finished bottle of rum and some fruit I thought Legolas might like.

"Capt'n, I've got you some ru-," I stopped short. The room was empty! It must've been one helluva day-dream - or else I'm just too obsessed. I guess I should take me mates' advice an' stop watching so much POTC!

But then something caught my eye: in the corner of the room were an empty rum bottle and a perfectly fletched arrow. I could feel a smile spreading over my face.

"Thank you," I whispered. And I swear that somewhere behind me I heard a "Your welcome, love," whispered back.

Hope ya like it! Now, before you go, you see that little button down there in the corner? Yes, that one, the pretty little lilac one? Well, just click on it and tell me what you think! If you could be bothered to read this, surely you have time to review! And if you do, maybe this fanfic will come true. (hehe, that rhymes!)