Oh, To Be A Girl

Author's Note: Ok, I've gotten some positive reviews and some negative ones so I decided that I would try to explain why I am writing this thoroughly bizarre story.

1) No one, to my knowledge, has written this story before. I mean, I love a good javajunkie or Rory's pregnant, or another oh-my-god-which-hot-boy-will-she-pick story as much as the next person, but I just wanted to write a little something different.

2) How many times have you seen television shows do the first-bra plot line, but made it really awkward like the girl only has a father or she just generally doesn't have a good relationship with her parents? So I was wondering how Lorerlai would have handled all of this stuff.

3) Also, I just wanted to catch Lorelai and Rory in a part of their lives before all of the WB drama crap kicked in. You know, just them hanging out.

Chapter 3

With a loud bang Lorelai and Rory kicked open the door to their house and squeezed themselves and all their bags through the doorway.

"I'm pooped!" Lorelai exclaimed as she dropped the bags she was holding on the ground and proceeded to slide to a seated position beside them.

"Ditto!" Rory stated as she leaned against the closed door.

"Ok. Here's the plan: I'm going to go order us a pizza while you go change into a pair boxer short and one of these kick-ass new bra thingies we got," Lorelai said as she extended her hand to Rory so that she could be help up from the floor.

"Why exactly am I putting on boxers?" Rory asked as she heaved her mother off the ground.

"Because we are going to precariously perch ourselves on the kitchen counter while simultaneously shaving our legs and eating pizza. After which, we will call the good people in charge of the Guinness Book of World Records and be recognized as the most incredible multi-taskers in all the land.

"Of course. I don't know why I didn't guess that on my own," Rory replied while rolling her eyes at her mother in a good humored fashion before heading to her room with a few of the shopping bags.

Ten minutes later, they reconvened in the kitchen in boxers and tank-tops. Lorelai had her arms filled with towels, shaving cream, and razors. When the doorbell rang she dropped everything in the sink, grabbed her purse and headed to the door. A few moments later, she came back with the pizza, which she placed on the table and then she plopped into a seat beside it.

"Pull up a chair my offspring. Grab a piece of pizza while I give you the ABC's of successful leg shaving," She said while taking a gooey piece of pizza for herself.

"There's and ABC's to leg shaving?

"Sweets, there's an ABC's to everything. I mean there are directions on the back of a shampoo bottle. Shaving cream and razors should come with an illustrated instructions manual. Since they do not, however, you will be privy to my special lesson on the art of leg hair removal.

"I feel blessed.

"As well you should dear. As well you should," Lorelai said while taking a bite of her pizza. "First, don't try to shave without shaving cream. For some unknown reason nothing ends up as smooth with just water.

"What about using soap?

"Soap is ok for touch ups, but if for whatever reason you let things get a little beyond touch up level you have to go with the shaving cream.

"What about those hair removing lotions?

"The Sally Hansen kind stings like nothing else, and Nair has an odor that can seep through walls and smells like some freakish mixture of cucumbers and ass. I haven't tried the others, but I suppose they're not much different.

"What about waxing?

"It hurts in a sickeningly thrilling way and I only recommend it if you are going on some sort of a beach trip. Anyway, Miss. Lady-With-All-The-Questions, back to my rules, where were we? Ah, yes. Second, there will always be places that you miss while shaving, that can't be helped, but you want to be sure to remember the part on the top of the ankle and the strip on the lower, outside part of your calf. Third, the areas around your knees can be tricky so be careful. Fourth, if you do happen to nick yourself, I would try to avoid using a band-aid because then you have to deal that sticky ring that the band-aid leaves behind. Instead, I would say just dab at it with a wet piece of toilet paper until the bleeding stops. Fifth, nicking yourself usually doesn't hurt at all so sometimes you might not notice which can lead to messiness, that's why I say that when you finish you should always give your legs a once-over scan just in case. I think those are all the rules. If I think of any more while we're shaving I'll clue you in.

Rory just stared back at her mother with her mouth slightly agape.

"It's not as difficult as I made it sound," Lorelai explained as she stood up and led Rory to the counter. They both climbed up and put their legs in the sink.

"This can't possibly be hygienic," Rory said as she tried to get comfortable.

"What? It's not like we cook in here." Lorelai responded as she turned on the faucet and shook the shaving cream can. "Put out your left hand," She ordered. When Rory did so she squirted what some might call too much foam into her daughters outstretched hand. "Alright, we're going to do the left leg first. Spread that on well, " She said as she smeared some shaving cream onto her own left leg. Then, she handed one of the small, pink, disposable razors to Rory and took one for herself. She ran her foamy hand under the faucet and gestured for Rory to do the same. "Ok. Are you with me so far?

"Yup.

"Good. Now, just follow my lead," Lorelai stated as she began to run the razor over her legs in an exaggeratedly slow manner.

After finishing the left leg and rinsing themselves off, they climbed down from the counter to have another slice of pizza.

"I feel uneven," Rory said as she hobbled to the table, trying not to slip on her wet feet.

"Yeah, but go ahead and touch that smooth leg. It's like magic isn't it?

"You're a weirdo.

"That may be true, but I can shave a mean leg.

"I'm putting that on your gravestone. ÔShe Could Shave A Mean Leg'," Rory said in mock wistfulness.

"That's better than what I'm putting on my parents' gravestone," Lorelai said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"And what's that?

"ÔPlease Curb Your Dog.

"You're horrible," Rory said while laughing although she was trying to give her mother a stern look.

"Maybe so, but I know the ABC's of successful leg shaving.