The Goddess of Light & The God of Earth
Chapter 22: Someone To Talk To
By: Azure Rosas


*


He stared down at her pale face; her cheeks a feverish red. She had her teeth gritted and her eye brows were furrowed, a strained look on her face. She moved about restlessly in her position, a few muffled words escaping her deathly white lips. Then her lips parted and her body went limp as she started breathing heavily. Reaching out a shaky hand, he gently caressed her cheek before moving a strand of hair to the back of her ear. His amber eyes were easy to read at the moment, considering that he didn't care who saw his emotions. It was hard for him to hide his worry for the emerald eyed Goddess. She looked just so. . .fragile and vulnerable. He clasped her hand in his and let out a sigh.

-I blame all this on myself. . .' he thought silently as he continued to look at the helpless girl. 'If only I stopped Crainte sooner or later. . . Then maybe he wouldn't have attacked Jade and sent her running off. . . If only I looked for Sakura and found her sooner, then maybe she wouldn't be so ill right now.-

"Oh Sakura. . ." he sighed. "Please get better. . . Onegai. . ."

He felt a hand rest on his shoulders and he looked up to meet Gem's gaze. She was just as concerned as he was, but she kept her hopes up. "She'll be alright, Master Xiaolang." She removed her hand and walked to the other side of Sakura where she knelt down and placed a hand on the feverish Card Mistress' forehead. Withdrawing it, she pulled a pouch out of nowhere and opened it. Searching through a bunch of contents in there, she pulled out a tiny container where a black-red liquid could be seen in side. "This is a medicine that'll lower her fever down. It's not strong enough to totally relieve the fever, but it'll do." She removed the cork from the mouth of the container as she placed the beaker against Sakura's lips. Then she tilted it up so the black-red substance poured slowly into her mouth and down her throat. She gulped down the liquid and coughed a bit. Colour seemed to return to her once pale face and her laborious breathing was calm and normal. But she continued to move about restlessly.

"Syaoran. . ." she mumbled, loud enough for the two to hear. "Gem. . . Rage. . . Crystallight. . . Where are you guys?" She clawed the air, as if reaching out for someone. "No. . .Come back. . . Please. . . Come back!"

"What do you think she's dreaming about?" Gem asked in a whisper, careful not to wake up the sleeping Mistress.

"I don't know. . .but it's not good," he replied in the same low voice.


-Sakura's Dream-

"They're gone. . ."

No. . .

"Face it Card Mistress. . ."

They can't. . .

"They've left you. . ."

You lie. . .

". . . alone."

Stop. . .Please. . . Just. . . Shut up!

"They all left you. You're not but an annoying nuisance in their lives. . ."

I SAID TO SHUT UP!

"Quit denying it, Card Mistress. The Little Wolf will never love you. . .He hates you; he despises you; he wishes for your demise! He's the one that turned his back on you. He's the one who left you first. He's the one who hates you the most. And he's the one who will kill you with his own bare hands!"

She started to back away; taking backward steps one after the other. Her emerald eyes were wide in disbelief and horror. Her face was pale and she kept her hands clamped over her ears, as if hoping it would block off the haunting voice of Zero. "He wouldn't. . . He'd never. . . Syaoran isn't like that!"

"Oh really? And how do you know that?" the voice asked her in a mocking voice.

"Because. . .because. . ." she began, "he's my friend. . . And I just know!"

"Do you really think you know him? That you know him well enough to know what he thinks? What he feels?" the taunting voice questioned. "Have you ever gave a single thought about what he goes through? What pain he feels? Have you?"

She stood there, stalk still. He was right. . .She never thought about what he may be going through. What pain he maybe suffering. What sorrow he maybe in. . .

"You're a selfish brat, Kinomoto," a cold, male voice snapped at her.

She looked up to see Syaoran's amber eyes, staring at her with venom and hate. Tears sprang to her eyes. "S-Syaoran. . ." She took a step towards him, her hand reaching out for him.

"Filthy scum! Stay back!" Syaoran shouted in an angered tone. "You aren't worthy to call me Syaoran. It's 'Li' to you!"

Coming to an abrupt halt, she felt her knees shake under her weight.

"All you ever did was think about yourself. . . All you ever did was think about your petty problems. You never gave a fuck about other people's problems BUT yours!" His arms were crossed over his chest and his eyes. . .his eyes were ice cold.

She could feel a lump appear in her throat. The tears leaked down her cheeks. "I-I. . . care about you guys. . . I don't care about myself! I only care about you and the others."

"Bull shit!" Syaoran snapped. "That's all a load of bull, Kinomoto! Just keep your mouth shut! You don't deserve to live. You deserve to live and burn in Hell!"

She collapsed onto her knees, suddenly feeling weak and unable to move on. "Syaoran. . . Onegai. . . You have to believe me! I care about you! I care about everyone!"

"Shut up, Kinomoto," Syaoran growled harshly; making her feel as if a thousand knives were stabbing her heart. "I'm tired of your crap. I hope you die and rot away! You deserve what you're getting. . . You deserve every bit of pain and suffering. . . Good bye, Kinomoto." His body started to fade and mingle with the darkness, and as he disappeared, she knew she would never forget his cold amber eyes that had oh so such a great affect on her broken soul.

"No. . . Syaoran. . ."

"You're such a baby," came Gem's mocking voice, echoing in the dark world around her.

"Coward. . ." Rage's voice. . .

"Weak fool," Crystallight's voice. . .

"You let us all down," Gem murmured, almost in a hurt tone.

"We should've known that you wouldn't care. . ." Rage said in the same voice as Gem.

"We trusted you," Crystallight said. The words she spoke made Sakura feel guilt. It felt like she were being torn from limb to limb. Her tone sounded hurt; sad; . . . . and she sounded betrayed.

"Gem. . . Rage. . . Crystallight. . ." the clear liquid flowed more rapidly now. It dripped down her chin and splattered on the stone ground. "I'm sorry, you guys. . . Come back. . ." She clamped her hands between her head, sobbing uncontrollabley. "Onegai. . . Come back. . ."


-End of Dream Sequence-

Syaoran stared at the flickering flames, never once blinking from the brightness of the light. He could feel the warmth it immitted beat against his skin, warming him up. Crystallight, Rage, and Gem fell asleep sometime a few hours ago. He stayed awake though. His amber eyes fell and rested on the sleeping Goddess. She lied emotionlessly on the other side of the fire. She stopped moving around a while ago and now slept peacefully. The flames of the fire illuminated her features, giving her face a glow. Her fever died down, much to Syaoran's relief. Clasping his hands together, he rested his elbows on his knees and continued to sit there in silence. He was deep in thought when the sound of someone moaning roused him back to reality. He looked up to see Sakura stir. She furrowed her eye brows as her eye lids flickered open to reveal a pair of beautiful emerald eyes. He caught his breath. Those emerald orbs always made him lost in her eyes.

Upon meeting his amber eyes, he was shocked and hurt to see a hint of fear in her own orbs. He was also surprised to see her eyes glaze over with what seemed like. . . tears. She tore her gaze from his and looked down while sitting up and pulling the cloak, that Syaoran tucked her in while she was sleeping, tighter around her.

"Sakura. . ."

She flinched and tightly shut her eyes.

He crawled towards her and reached out a hand. "Daijoubu desu ka?"

She didn't reply; instead, she trembled. He touched her lightly on the arm and immediately pulled his hand away when hearing her whimper. What was wrong with her? Why was she suddenly so very scared of him? Never has he seen her like that. . . So frightened and terrified of him. It hurt him deeply and it felt like he was suddenly stabbed in the back.

"Sakura. . . What's wrong with you?" Syaoran asked in a gentle and concerned voice.

She raised her head and hesitantly looked him in the eye. She tried swallowing the lump that formed in her throat. "Y-you. . . hate m-me." Her voice shook just as much as she trembled. "You s-s-said th-that. . . you wanted me. . . you wanted me d-dead. . ."

His expression softened as he placed the palm of his hand against her cheek. She winced and he could feel her body tense up. Wrapping his arms around her shoulders, he pulled her into a warm and tight embrace. She tensed up even more, then relaxed as she gave in to his hold.

"I can never hate you," he whispered into her ear. "And I'd never ask for your death. I'd rather die then you. . . And I'd be damned if I told you I wanted you dead."

"Demo. . . I let you guys all down," Sakura murmured in a small voice.

"When have you ever let any of us down?" he asked in his gentle tone. She didn't reply. "Never. Never have you let any of us down."

"Yes, but. . . you guys said that. . ." she began to protest.

He placed his index finger on her lips, silencing her. "Hush, Sakura, it was all a dream. Whatever we said in it, we didn't mean it. We care about you and never would we try to hurt you."

She gazed at him with eyes that glowed from the flames. "You mean it?"

He smiled; a smile that made Sakura's heart skip a beat; a smile that made her stomach flutter; the smile that made her legs feel like jello; the smile that made her feel like she had wings; and the smile that made her blush.

"I mean it," he said in a sincere way.

She smiled in return. Then, a serene silence enveloped the two chosen ones as they gazed into the flickering embers that licked the air. The only sound that could be heard was the fire crackling. Sakura drifted back to the dream she had. She remembered it all clearly and she couldn't help but ponder over what Zero kept on saying and what the others said to her.

-Maybe he's right. . .Maybe I am selfish,- She bowed her head and stared quietly at the ground. -All I think about are my problems. . . All I do is dwell on the past and mourn over everyone's deaths. I never think about Syaoran or the others and how they may feel. . .- She let out a sigh, suddenly overwhelmed with guilt. She rested her chin on her knees.

"Gomen nasi, Syaoran," Sakura suddenly said, startling him.

He blinked in confusion as he gave her a questioning look. "Sorry? For what?"

"For being so selfish. . ."

"When have you ever been selfish?"

"All the time. . ." she replied. "I've only been thinking about MY problems. I never gave a single thought about you nor the others."

"And do you really think that matters to us?" Syaoran asked in a calm manner.

She remained silent.

"Anyway, Sakura, you worry more than any of us put together. You don't worry about yourself. . . I've noticed that you seem to care more of us then for yourself. You proved that to us when Crainte and Quin held you captured, and you proved that to us so many other times. So don't you go saying that you're selfish. . .because you're not."

"Still. . . I don't feel as if I've proven myself ENOUGH to you guys. . ." Sakura protested. "You all always listen to my problems, but I never listened to any of yours."

"That's because we don't have any but the task held out before us."

She looked up at him and gazed into his amber eyes. He felt as if she were reading his soul, and that scared him a bit. Sakura eyed him and said to him in a firm way, "If I can't lie to you, then you sure can't lie to me! Syaoran Li, I know you have problems in your life. Everyone has problems. . . People simply can't have easy lives. There always has to be problems. . . and solutions to those problems. I want you to trust me, Syaoran, I want you to speak to me. . . I've opened myself up to you. . . Now it's your turn to do the same."

Syaoran stared back at her, seeing the determination of having him open up, clearly in her emerald eyes. He heaved his shoulders, then slumped them, as he turned and looked into the fire. "Yeah, I guess you're right, Sakura, people do have all sorts of problems. I have an obligation for my Clan to keep. They all expect me to rule over them one day. Ever since I were three, they trained me to become the powerful leader they all can count on. Training was harsh and hard to go through. I'd get beaten if I ever failed at any task. At times I wanted to give up, but being the leader of the Li Clan was the only thing that kept me going because it felt like my main purpose in life. They trained me, beat me, and made me feel tortured so I grew up without any real emotions. The Elders said that a sign of emotion is a sign of weakness. I did my best to do what was expected of me. Then there's the whole marriage thing. The Li Elders expect me to marry someone with the Li blood and will accept nothing else. They won't let me fall in love on my own or meet anyone. I was engaged to my own cousin, Meiling, when I was just young. I never gave a single thought about marriage back then. . . so I didn't really care. But now. . ." he let out an air of breath. "I do care. I was such a fool to ever agreeing to the marriage. . ."

Sakura looked at him in wonder and in sadness. She now knew what his past was like. . . and she could see the pain in his eyes. The pain from all the torment they put on him, and the pressure they bestowed upon him. Everything seemed to be rested on his shoulders and now that she saw him in a new light, he looked weary and tired, his shoulders slumped as if some great weight were on them. And yet, he continued to stay strong through all that. She placed a hand on his shoulder and grinned faintly at him. "Syaoran. . . You really are a strong person, and I admire you for that."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because, you continue on no matter what," Sakura said. "You keep your loyalty to your Clan no matter what. You endured all the pain they caused you and never really think about your own worries. You always set others before you. You're a magnificent person; a one of a kind. And that's what's so great about you, Syaoran, you're loyal and you always keep your word."

His cheeks turned red from her compliment. He avoided her gaze. "There, I told you all of my problems. . ."

"I know this may sound like a stupid question and all. . . but. . ." Sakura began in a hesitant matter. "Why do you suddenly regret agreeing to the marriage? Don't you love your cousin?"

"Hai, I love Meiling, but only in a brotherly way. . ." Syaoran replied. "She doesn't see that though. Anyway, I believe I'm in love with someone else.

A look of hurt flashed in her eyes, but was immediately gone right before it even came. "I see. . . And who's the lucky girl? Are you two dating?"

Chuckling, Syaoran shook his head. "Iie. She doesn't know that I love her."

"And why not? Aren't you going to tell her?" Sakura asked, trying to keep a stern look to hide what she was truly feeling deep down in side. For some reason, she couldn't help but feel sad and hurt. Why? She did not know.

"I don't know if I should. . . What if she doesn't feel the same way?"

"I bet she does, Syaoran. You're a great person. She'd have to be nuts to not love you! What's the lucky girl's name?"

He stared up at the sky and remained quiet for a while. His lips tugged up into a grin. "Ying Fa. . . Her name is Ying Fa."

Not understanding Chinese very well, Sakura blinked and smiled. "Ying Fa. Sounds like a pretty name and she sounds like a wonderful person."

"That's because she is. . ." he commented as he looked at her from the corner of his eyes. "To me, she's an angel in disguise."

"Will you ever tell her how you feel?"

"Yeah. . . Maybe I'll tell her. . When it doesn't matter anymore about how she may feel in return."

"You'll have to let me meet her someday."

"I will. Someday."

Sakura turned and looked away from him, her eyes suddenly clouded with tears that she instantly blinked away. Why did she suddenly feel like crying? Why did she feel heart broken and crushed; as if she were some petal that's been stepped on? A tiny frown was on her face. -What's wrong with me!? Why do I feel like I'm dying slowly and painfully? Oh Kami-sama, why are things so confusing? Can't things ever make sense for once?-

"Hey, Sakura?"

She snapped back to reality. "Hm?"

"Arigatou. . ."

"You don't have to thank me. I've done nothing."

"No, Sakura. You've done a lot for me. I'm glad I opened up to you and I'm glad I had someone to talk to. I couldn't stand keeping that all bolted up forever. It makes me feel better to let all that out. . . So. . .Thank you."

"You're welcome, Syaoran. Just remember that if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm willing to listen."

The God of Earth looked into the ember flames as he thought silently to himself, -Oh Sakura. . . If only you knew. . . -



-End of Chapter-



Azure Rosas: ^-^ Yatta! I finished the chapter! Hopefully I'll get the next one out soon. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one. I tried my best to put LOTS AND LOTS of S+S fluff. -sighs and shakes head- Naïve, naïve Sakura. Doesn't she see what he feels!? Bleh! How dense can she get!?! -shrugs- Ah oh well, there's nothing that we can do, now can we? Well, lemme thank these people for reviewing the last chapter:

Silvercherrywolf: I agree with you completely. . . Gem DOES act a lot like Tomoyo! I guess you can say I did that on purpose ^-^; It makes me wonder though. . .What will happen if those two ever team up? -shudders- The evil they'd cause!!! ^-^;;; Well, thank you sooo much for reviewing!

Litwolf689: I really must thank you for reviewing like, practically every chapter! It means a lot to me that I have your support! Thanks a whole lot and 'thank you' is really all I could say to you because I am really REALLY grateful for your reviews!

Animefreak242: -scratches back of head- I never really noticed that I wrote at least one kawaii scene in each chapter. . . I usually don't notice much about my fics. Well, I tried making this chapter even more fluffier then the past chapters. Also, the only reason why Quin brought Sakura to Earth was to somehow persuade Syaoran into surrendering himself to them. So I guess you can say that Quin WAS taunting him. -hugs you- And thanks for reviewing!

Kawaiiaznangel36: Yep, you're right! Boys, especially Rage, have no taste for romantic stuff! I meant to make him that way to add a bit of humor into that chapter. -sighs- And yes. . . he truly does spoil moments. -,- -smiles- ^-^ And let me thank you for reviewing throughout the fic! -holds in a bear hug- ARIGATOU!!!!!!

Azure Rosas: Well, that's all! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks!