A/N: I'm not a warm and fuzzy sort of person, but your reviews made me feel like a teddy bear. No kidding. I was just sitting on my floor with my laptop and a big grin on my face. I'm so glad you like my story. I'm new to ff.net and this story is by far my favorite form of procrastination. Each chapter takes about a half an hour to write and I just take stuff off the top of my head and hope it makes you smile. I'm glad I haven't failed.
P.S. MrSchimpf: There is not a tremendous enough adverb to describe how awesome I think it is that a guy is reading this story.
Chapter 5
Mother and daughter left Luke's with two to-go cups of coffee and two giant smiles in place.
"Did you see Luke's face?" Rory asked with eyes twinkling in reverie of the moment.
"Hey, your face was a close second to Luke's award winning impression of a deer in head lights," Lorelai shot back with an elbow nudge.
"I have never been more embarrassed in my entire life," Rory avowed as one hand flew up to hold her head.
"Even more than that time I intentionally lost you in Ikea on your tenth birthday and then talked the manager and a couple cashiers into singing happy birthday to you over the intercom?" Lorelai asked, somewhat astonished.
"Yes!" Rory shouted in an exasperated pitch but with a slight smirk.
"Wow. I guess I don't know the extent of my own skills. That Ikea stunt took lots of work, but if I had known that all it took to embarrass you was a phallic reference I would have started asking inappropriate questions long ago," Lorelai said mocking an explanatory tone.
"What I don't understand is how you don't get embarrassed while you're humiliating me."
"Hun, I've been through a lot in my life. I walked around as the pregnant teenager for nine months all the while enduring the constant stares. Not to mention the fact that going through childbirth is by far the most mortifying experience the world has to offer, but I managed that. You would think that the pain would make you blind to the embarrassment, but no, it's still there. All in all, I am immune to humiliation," Lorelai finished with a smirk to subtly drive her point home.
"Well I still don't understand why you feel the need to embarrass me in the first place," Rory said with her arms flailing to illustrate her flustered incomprehension.
"Well, it's a catch-22 type of situation, you see? Childbirth makes the mother exempt from humiliation, but leaves her unable to stop herself from dumping that humiliation all over her offspring.
"Well could you please make an effort to stop dumping on me?" Rory pleaded.
"Well, since you asked so nicely," Lorelai stated with a half shrug as she tossed her empty coffee cup into the trash can and turned into their driveway.
"Huh," Rory muttered, entirely perplexed as to what had just transpired.
Lorelai stuck her head back out of the door and broke her child away from her stupor. "Hey, I thought of an embarrassing incident that wasn't my fault! Do you remember that time you accidentally pulled the emergency alarm in that Starbucks bathroom and the manager came bursting in to save you? I know you remember that. Your face didn't return to its normal shade for three weeks! That one was all you though," Lorelai yelled from the doorway.
"Yeah, that was cataclysmically sucky," Rory conceded as she took the last sip of her beverage, chucked the cup into the trash, and followed her mother inside.
A/N: I feel like an immense piece of crap for even submitting this short little thing that isn't even worthy of being called a chapter. I feel like a cheater, but I won't be able to update for a little while and I didn't want to leave my readers hanging. I promise that the next chapter will be significantly more substantial although I have no idea what there is left to write, but I know I'll think of something.
