Twisted Justice
Chapter 10…The Price of Pride
Raoul looked at her over steepled fingers. She couldn't read the thoughts on his face, no more than he could read hers.
"You won't just…give it up to Kale. He won't give it up to you." He shrugged, sighed, took booted feet off the desk. "The only other option I can think of won't be attractive to you."
Robin raised eyebrows fractionally. There was another option? "Try me." She said, quietly, reaching for confidence she didn't have.
"Marriage." He said, succinctly.
Robin coughed, almost swallowing her tongue.
"I told you it wouldn't be attractive to you, didn't I?" He asked, his smile tiny and quickly hidden behind a hand. "Besides, chances are that would be how the Crown resolved this." He shrugged, then sighed. "You're more than a fair hand with a bow. If you ever want work, I don't doubt I could find it for you."
I don't want to spend my life living by my instincts. "Thank you." She ran lean hands through her hair, standing.
"Rob—Marion," Raoul caught himself. "have you consulted Kale about this? He might come across as a hard fellow, but he's reasonable. Maybe you can work something out."
"Of course." With a small bow, she left his chambers, leaning against his doorway, her heart hammering in the confines of her ribs. Marriage.
To Kale, no less.
She considered it for a moment. He respected her, and hadn't told anyone of her secrets. He hadn't tried to coddle her – maybe he had helped, but what they had was a friendship. She could do worse…
She pushed herself off the wall and made her way to her own sleeping quarters. She wouldn't marry for Avonsleigh. It was too much like taking second best, and she had sworn nothing but first would ever be good enough for her. Either he gave it over, or she would leave. Start a new life, somewhere. Maybe Maren. Lady Marion would stay dead, and Avonsleigh would be safe.
She went past her own narrow room and into the gardens where she had spoken to Kale what felt like a life time ago.
Had it been anyone but Kale, she would have rallied local support, and ran him from the castle. But Kale was a good person. A little arrogant, a little cold, and way too high minded, but overall, a good person.
It would have been so much easier if he was the total prig she had once thought him to be.
Robin swung herself into a tree to lie flat against the branch, mindful of her injury. If she was going to leave for another country, she would need to be healthy to make it through the borders.
If she left, she would live the rest of her life as a man. It was unsafe for a woman alone on the road, when all she had was a bow and long honed instincts. Maybe, when she was an old woman…
But she doubted she would make it to see old age. She could be a mercenary. She had the know how. With a little work on her staff skills, she would have no problem getting a place.
Maybe, she realised, she was being proud and foolish. But everyone had their shortcomings, hers was pride, and she accepted and would live with that. She knew what she would do. Not now, but in the early hours of the morning, when men were at their lowest ebb and life and death walked hand in hand.
Between now and then, she only had one thing to do before she left Avonsleigh forever.
*
Robin knew where Kale's sleeping quarters were: her father's old chambers, of course. She also knew how to get in there unnoticed, the gloom of night untouched by sun and unlit by moon cloaking her.
Now, her feet touched the familiar floor of her father's room. This, at least, was unchanged. Apparently whatever mage the mercenaries had employed hadn't been enough to break through the layers of spells on these walls.
Kale was sitting at her father's desk, studying something on thick parchment by light of oil lamp. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were blind and deaf." She stepped into the light, her heart hammering.
His eyes didn't leave the map. "Good evening."
Had he known she was there all along, or did he just bluff well? "I spoke to lord Raoul."
"About?" he looked up now, letting the piece of paper – blank, she saw, puzzled momentarily – fall carelessly onto the desk.
"Avonsleigh." She said, with a tiny shrug.
"And?" His eyes were guarded. How long had it been since she had seen him like this? She realised then how close they had become…
"He had nothing useful to add." He had given her a new option, but it wasn't useful. It wasn't a lie. Maybe not a whole truth, but he wouldn't know. Not until it was too late.
"So you decided to visit me?" He asked, with a small smile. "Climbing through a passage I didn't even realise was there, instead of simply knocking on the door. Anyone would think you had some kind of sinister plan, with all this subterfuge."
She felt a fission of fear work its way through her body. Did he know, somehow? Was she more transparent than she had thought? "I came to take you up on your…offer."
He raised his eyebrows. "You're going to take a position as an archer and man—woman-at-arms?"
"Not quite." She carefully rotated her stiff shoulder.
He stood, warily, sharp eyes studying her impassive, hawk-like face. "Which offer, then?"
He wasn't going to make this easy for her. Damn it. Damn him.
By way of answer, she held out her arms, letting him see the difference.
She had come to him without the layer of lies. Her shirt revealed breasts long bound, now, for the time, free.
His eyes narrowed, then widened. "Robin. Don't play these games with me." But his face had softened. Without even realising, he echoed the feelings she had expressed earlier.
"I'm sick of games, Kale. And lies." She took a deep breath and two steps, moving so they were close enough all he had to do was reach and take what she offered.
"What changed?" he asked, quietly. Again, her earlier feelings, though he didn't know of them.
"I realised the truth." Maybe she had. Maybe…maybe…
One of his scarred hands reached out carefully, traced the line of the ring that hung in plain view around her neck. "Lady Marion." He said quietly, with a smile that she didn't even try to understand.
"Robin." She said, meeting his eyes. "Lady Marion died long ago."
His hand left the ring, moved downwards to rest on the laces of her shirt. "Are you sure?"
Her voice was stronger than his. "No. I could live to be a thousand and I would still be unsure. This choice, at least, is mine."
"And would you pay the price, if it is the wrong choice?" He slowly unlaced the throat of her shirt, but didn't drop his gaze.
"Yes."
It was answer enough for them both.
*
Robin looked down at the sleeping form of Kale. The choice had been right, she knew. And now…
Slowly, she eased out from under the covers, wishing she could stay and knowing the price of her pride. She paid for that, not her mistakes.
He didn't stir as she climbed from the window. Second best would never be enough for her. At least now she knew what it was to be a woman.
Now she knew what it was she would hide, as she ran from what she had killed for.
AN: I'm back! Quite obviously, I know. Just wanted to make that clear. Another thing to make clear: this is not the last chapter! There is at least one more clamoring to get out of my head and onto the screen. Next update in a day or two. I know this wasn't particularly fantastic, so please don't flame me. Actually, flame if you like. You can't say anything I haven't already told myself.
And for those who don't read my other current fic, "song of the lioness: translated" (shame on you!) I've been away due to personal problems. Oh, and lots of updates for that too. Soon. As in, tomorrow.
Ailan: And here was me sure my grammar sucked. All I can say is, thank god for spell check. Usually (not always, notably) where I stuff up, it notices. Yes indeedy I do have quite a few originals, I'm in the throws of finishing my original series, and I've had it looked at by every english teacher in the school, getting tips and what not on how to edit it and improve them. The problem with getting them published is that the publishing companies don't like to take manuscripts that haven't been professionally edited, and since mine are so long, its going to cost a lot to have them all, or even one, looked at. ^_^ Still…one day, I hope. There are some huge compliments in your reviews…thank you for taking the time to read through my ficlets and to give me your thoughts!
Everyone: don't mean to group you all like that…I'm being told off for spending too much time on the computer…is there such a thing??? I want to get this posted as soon as I can so I won't take the time to do individual thanks…you all know I appreciate it (and if you didn't you do now). Every review I get makes me smile (since I haven't been flamed yet, for some reason…at least on this fic.) Big hugs all round, and you'll hear from me soon!
~Elisse
